Had a huge fail tonight. Sous vide steaks, and there was a damn hole in the corner of the bag. Boiled wagyu meat and a hundred bucks down the drain. What's yours?
Biggest food fails
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Last: 4 yr ago by SJEAg
Pat it dry and sear the ***** out of it. It'll be fine.
I once had a buddy bring back some ducks he shot and I was going to make some duck and sausage gumbo. Poached the ducks, made the roux, sauted the trinity. Finally put it all together after several hours of cooking and was fine tuning the seasoning. Still needed a little black pepper. And as I added some, the shaker top came off and I dumped about 4 ounces of pepper into it. Unsalvageable.
Mose Schrute said:
Pat it dry and sear the ***** out of it. It'll be fine.
Nope. I dried it and was still very chewy.
JCA1 said:
I once had a buddy bring back some ducks he shot and I was going to make some duck and sausage gumbo. Poached the ducks, made the roux, sauted the trinity. Finally put it all together after several hours of cooking and was fine tuning the seasoning. Still needed a little black pepper. And as I added some, the shaker top came off and I dumped about 4 ounces of pepper into it. Unsalvageable.
I feel like you could have ladled about 80-90% of that out
My dad cooked dove and heard it was good to soak them in molasses to get rid of any gameyness. He soaked them for like 3-4 days. They were basically jet black molasses balls with zero redeeming qualities.
MichaelJ said:JCA1 said:
I once had a buddy bring back some ducks he shot and I was going to make some duck and sausage gumbo. Poached the ducks, made the roux, sauted the trinity. Finally put it all together after several hours of cooking and was fine tuning the seasoning. Still needed a little black pepper. And as I added some, the shaker top came off and I dumped about 4 ounces of pepper into it. Unsalvageable.
I feel like you could have ladled about 80-90% of that out
I thought the same thing and tried. It was still way too much pepper and I love pepper.
I made a scallop etouffee that completely broke. It separated out into separate veggies and salt and protein. Nothing clung to one another. Bizarre. I've never heard of anything sense, and never figured that out what went wrong. It was so vommit-looking it was inedible.
Ornlu said:
I made a scallop etouffee that completely broke. It separated out into separate veggies and salt and protein. Nothing clung to one another. Bizarre. I've never heard of anything sense, and never figured that out what went wrong. It was so vommit-looking it was inedible.
Scallop etouffee sounds like the disaster regardless of breaking. Does not seem like a good use of scallops
I love my big green egg but I don't think anything I've ever slow smoked on there has come out that great. I know that has more to do with me than the bge
I was trying to thicken up some Chili and kept adding masa harina. Eventually the liquid absorbed and it became as thick as a bread pudding. I was probably about 12 at the time
Bruce Almighty said:Mose Schrute said:
Pat it dry and sear the ***** out of it. It'll be fine.
Nope. I dried it and was still very chewy.
Did you try adding ketchup? That always makes my steaks taste great
My brother and I were competing in a gumbo cook off at Woodrow's in midtown - probably like 5 years ago.
No matter what we did we could not get the heat high enough to really develop our roux.
We ended up making a "blonde" gumbo.
No matter what we did we could not get the heat high enough to really develop our roux.
We ended up making a "blonde" gumbo.
Back in the day I made a goat cheese cheesecake like one I'd had at Commander's Palace. Everything was going great and I got it in the oven fine. It was a late night cook and I ****ing fell asleep. You can imagine the rest.
I made a picadillo from a Texags recipe and I got my salt content way off. I had to throw it in the disposal, it was so salty it burned your throat. I'd like to try it again but my wife begs me not to.
Formerly Willy Wonka
Willy Wonka said:
I made a picadillo from a Texags recipe and I got my salt content way off. I had to throw it in the disposal, it was so salty it burned your throat. I'd like to try it again but my wife begs me not to.
This might not fit the OP, but it's what I thought of. I went to an autopsy for work. This big dead Mexican had a lot of rice and beans in him.
Fast forward to dinner. My wife made a cheesy quinoa something or other. It looked like the insides of that dude's body. Couldn't eat it and still can't touch quinoa because of that thought.
Fast forward to dinner. My wife made a cheesy quinoa something or other. It looked like the insides of that dude's body. Couldn't eat it and still can't touch quinoa because of that thought.
Was home alone one Saturday morning so I decided to cut up a pork butt and make Chile Verde. I wanted to try roasting the chilies on the charcoal grill outside.
After putting the tomatillos, chilies, etc. in the blender and dumping it in the pot; I turned up the stove and planned to turn it down to a simmer once it started to bubble.
I walked out side just to put the lid back on the grill from taking off the chilies. My phone rang and it was a friend I had not heard from in a while and we started talking. After a while I looked up at my patio doors and thought, they "looked real cloudy". I couldn't see in the house it was weird. As I walked over to the door I began to hear all the smoke detectors going off.
I opened the door and couldn't see across the dining room to the living room. I was lucky I did not burn the house down. It also took a 2-day soaking in simple green to loosen up the burned bottom of the stainless stock pot so I could clean it all the way.
After putting the tomatillos, chilies, etc. in the blender and dumping it in the pot; I turned up the stove and planned to turn it down to a simmer once it started to bubble.
I walked out side just to put the lid back on the grill from taking off the chilies. My phone rang and it was a friend I had not heard from in a while and we started talking. After a while I looked up at my patio doors and thought, they "looked real cloudy". I couldn't see in the house it was weird. As I walked over to the door I began to hear all the smoke detectors going off.
I opened the door and couldn't see across the dining room to the living room. I was lucky I did not burn the house down. It also took a 2-day soaking in simple green to loosen up the burned bottom of the stainless stock pot so I could clean it all the way.
I just threw up a littleMayor West said:
[Did you try adding ketchup? That always makes my steaks taste great
When I was around 10-12 years old, I wanted to make a peach cobbler. I had everything done, and put the pan on the wire rack in the oven, but hadn't put it on the rack far enough. It flipped backward, spilling down the door and into the broiler. We had a gas oven, so you can imagine how much fun that was to clean up.
A more recent occurrence was a mystery green (or what I thought was a green) in my csa box. I couldn't figure out what it was, so my intention was to make braised greens and chicken tacos. When we ate them, they tasted like soap. Turns out it was an herb, not a green, that is very similar to cilantro. Those were thrown in the trash.
A more recent occurrence was a mystery green (or what I thought was a green) in my csa box. I couldn't figure out what it was, so my intention was to make braised greens and chicken tacos. When we ate them, they tasted like soap. Turns out it was an herb, not a green, that is very similar to cilantro. Those were thrown in the trash.
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A couple grilling mishaps
10-12 years old, grilled thin porkchops for the family. Big family and small grill means 2 loads. First load off, second load on, we eat dinner. Yep, forgot about them and left them on the grill. No clue how much propane was in the tank when we started, but I know how much was in there when we finished. Ruined the grates on the grill.
Watching football at a buddies house ten years ago or so. Dude had a nice natural gas drop in grill. Finished cooking and I left the grill on. My buddy discovered it on Tuesday. Thankfully I had it on low.
About 5-6 years ago I had a big POS grill. Don't remember what I cooked, but it was greazy. Brought food in and cranked the heat up to burn off the grease. Wife started *****ing at me for something or another, so I went to the garage to get a beer. Halfway through the beer, huge boom. Set beer down and run into the house to get ready to fight the taliban. Wife is running to get me, almost had a 3 stooges moment. She tells me 'everything is on fire!' So I go back to the garage to get the fire extinguisher. Go out back, see grill in flames and the cabinet doors blown open and fire all down there. Pull the pin, Aim, Squeeze, and nothing. Damn trigger was jammed up by the wall mount strap. Thankfully the garden hose was near, so I just dousched it. Evidently it had more grease than I thought. The grease caught and was really burning in the drip pan. There was a skinny blue propane cylinder torch in the cabinet below grill and that is what caused the boom.
10-12 years old, grilled thin porkchops for the family. Big family and small grill means 2 loads. First load off, second load on, we eat dinner. Yep, forgot about them and left them on the grill. No clue how much propane was in the tank when we started, but I know how much was in there when we finished. Ruined the grates on the grill.
Watching football at a buddies house ten years ago or so. Dude had a nice natural gas drop in grill. Finished cooking and I left the grill on. My buddy discovered it on Tuesday. Thankfully I had it on low.
About 5-6 years ago I had a big POS grill. Don't remember what I cooked, but it was greazy. Brought food in and cranked the heat up to burn off the grease. Wife started *****ing at me for something or another, so I went to the garage to get a beer. Halfway through the beer, huge boom. Set beer down and run into the house to get ready to fight the taliban. Wife is running to get me, almost had a 3 stooges moment. She tells me 'everything is on fire!' So I go back to the garage to get the fire extinguisher. Go out back, see grill in flames and the cabinet doors blown open and fire all down there. Pull the pin, Aim, Squeeze, and nothing. Damn trigger was jammed up by the wall mount strap. Thankfully the garden hose was near, so I just dousched it. Evidently it had more grease than I thought. The grease caught and was really burning in the drip pan. There was a skinny blue propane cylinder torch in the cabinet below grill and that is what caused the boom.
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Wall mount was blocking me from pulling the trigger. Has been rectified, but ugh.
Damn bro grilling might just not be for you
Or maybe just no gas. Wood or charcoal eventually burns itself out.
My first brisket was awful, it was so bad I almost didn't try to do another one, but that feeling faded and I got better. It's humbling to spend all day ruining a nice piece of beef.
I usually like to heat a pan or cast iron on the grill outside to sear things just incase it starts to smoke.
Once when I was living in Canada I had a small apartment and it was cold out so I didn't want to use the grill so I heated my pan on the stove, seared my steak, and got distracted...
I left the pan on the hot stove and it eventually started to smoke...a lot, this lead to the smoke detectors going off.
I opened the door and windows to air everything out but the alarm wouldn't stop.
A few minutes later the alarm is still going off and here comes the fire department!
They knock on my door and when I open it the fire fighters looked at me and said "burn something cooking?"
"Yup, and I couldn't figure out how to get the alarm to turn off"
They informed me my apartment complex was wired to where you couldn't individually control it and the alarm had to be shut off from a master panel.
Once when I was living in Canada I had a small apartment and it was cold out so I didn't want to use the grill so I heated my pan on the stove, seared my steak, and got distracted...
I left the pan on the hot stove and it eventually started to smoke...a lot, this lead to the smoke detectors going off.
I opened the door and windows to air everything out but the alarm wouldn't stop.
A few minutes later the alarm is still going off and here comes the fire department!
They knock on my door and when I open it the fire fighters looked at me and said "burn something cooking?"
"Yup, and I couldn't figure out how to get the alarm to turn off"
They informed me my apartment complex was wired to where you couldn't individually control it and the alarm had to be shut off from a master panel.
This happened back when I was still in school. After a night of hard drinking, my roommate and I decided we wanted to make homemade biscuits and gravy when we got home. We fumbled around and got all the ingredients together and tried to make the biscuits but it just wasn't working very well. We sampled what kind of turned out like dough, and it tasted like something other than biscuit dough. I think we abandoned that plan and just threw some Totinos pizzas in the oven.
We didn't figure it out until the next morning. I used powdered sugar instead of flour in the biscuit dough.
We didn't figure it out until the next morning. I used powdered sugar instead of flour in the biscuit dough.
Remind me to neither invite you to my house to grill, or accept an invite from you to a bbq
Similar story. A few months ago was searing some beef short ribs to put in the crockpot. Smoke alarm went off. Canceled the alarm but it kept going off. Vivint called to make sure everything was okay and at the same time the fire dept. showed up. Hadn't been 5 minutes since the first alarm went off. Opened the doors and used a fan to clear out the smoke.
In the end the ribs turned out awesome along with IP mushroom risotto. Added a note to the recipe to provide adequate exhaust next time.
In the end the ribs turned out awesome along with IP mushroom risotto. Added a note to the recipe to provide adequate exhaust next time.
Max Power said:
My first brisket was awful, it was so bad I almost didn't try to do another one, but that feeling faded and I got better. It's humbling to spend all day ruining a nice piece of beef.
Same here. In hindsight I know that brisket was incredibly underdone. Definitely learned the brisket paradox after that.
When I was 13, my brothers and I were home alone while the folks were out. I was making grilled cheese sammiches for the 4 of us when someone tried to beat the door down. My brother opens the door and a guy says your house is on fire. Yup….the garage had a serious fire going. We all run out and try to put it out with a garden hose…totally forgetting the grilled cheese on the range. By the time the fire truck showed up, they had 2 fires to put out. The good thing was that the house didn't burn down.
Rexter said:
When I was 13, my brothers and I were home alone while the folks were out. I was making grilled cheese sammiches for the 4 of us when someone tried to beat the door down. My brother opens the door and a guy says your house is on fire. Yup….the garage had a serious fire going. We all run out and try to put it out with a garden hose…totally forgetting the grilled cheese on the range. By the time the fire truck showed up, they had 2 fires to put out. The good thing was that the house didn't burn down.
So who or what started the garage fire?
Rexter said:
When I was 13, my brothers and I were home alone while the folks were out. I was making grilled cheese sammiches for the 4 of us when someone tried to beat the door down. My brother opens the door and a guy says your house is on fire. Yup….the garage had a serious fire going. We all run out and try to put it out with a garden hose…totally forgetting the grilled cheese on the range. By the time the fire truck showed up, they had 2 fires to put out. The good thing was that the house didn't burn down.
Welp, we can go ahead and shut this thread down. You win.
MichaelJ said:Rexter said:
When I was 13, my brothers and I were home alone while the folks were out. I was making grilled cheese sammiches for the 4 of us when someone tried to beat the door down. My brother opens the door and a guy says your house is on fire. Yup….the garage had a serious fire going. We all run out and try to put it out with a garden hose…totally forgetting the grilled cheese on the range. By the time the fire truck showed up, they had 2 fires to put out. The good thing was that the house didn't burn down.
So who or what started the garage fire?
Theory is that the youngest one (9) was in the garage playing with matches, and lighting some cotton he had soaked in oil, which he stepped on and put back in the bag. Fire Dept investigator blamed it on an extension cord that had a drill plugged into it. There was a burn mark on the concrete that left a perfect outline of the drill and cord. The kitchen required a new range, vent hood, and some Sheetrock work.
Mine was both underdone, but oversmoked at the same time. I put too many wood chunks in the WSM and it got pretty acrid in there, also didn't rest it. I basically did everything wrong, but you get up, dust yourself off, and start over. Now I know that I don't need to start but with 2-3 pieces of wood and to add more later if necessary. Make sure you have a good thermometer, and rest it at least 1 hour, preferably two. I think figuring out how long it should rest was my biggest realization and lead to the best increase in results.NColoradoAG said:Max Power said:
My first brisket was awful, it was so bad I almost didn't try to do another one, but that feeling faded and I got better. It's humbling to spend all day ruining a nice piece of beef.
Same here. In hindsight I know that brisket was incredibly underdone. Definitely learned the brisket paradox after that.
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