I always bring a spotlight with me. If you don't get enough food, you can always find an animal on the way home then. You haven't lived until you've had late night possum stew.

Whiskey Cake is pretty bad. That place is dark as hell at night. You could have sex in a corner table and nobody would know.

Perry's has perfect lighting.

Lightning at restaurants.

NormanEH said:

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If I have to turn on my flashlight to read the gd menu it's too dark.

harumph

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Tell me you eat at strip clubs without telling me you eat at strip clubs.

I love it when I can't read the menu due to darkness or age. When the waiter asks what I want, I close the menu decisively, look up and say something like "I didn't see this on the menu, but can you just bring me a plate with a crispy beef taco, a cheese enchilada, and some rice and refried beans on the side?"

The waiter usually responds with something lowkey disrespectful like, "yes, sir, that's the number one combo at the top of the page there."

Whatever. I'm getting my taco.

Dude, I hate loud restaurants. Plates and dishes clanging, the occasional loud laugh, too loud to hear anyone. I do not like it. I'll go if I am asked to be supportive, social, or nice. Just don't ask me to listen intently. Don't try and tell me some intricate story about the raccoon that got in your trash and that's how you discovered the neighbor had a sancho.

The AntAGonist said:

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Dude, I hate loud restaurants. Plates and dishes clanging, the occasional loud laugh, too loud to hear anyone. I do not like it. I'll go if I am asked to be supportive, social, or nice. Just don't ask me to listen intently. Don't try and tell me some intricate story about the raccoon that got in your trash and that's how you discovered the neighbor had a sancho.

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That is an oddly specific example. I know that a sancho is a guy cheating with the wife, but now I'm wondering if "raccoon in the trash" is a euphemism, or is it just a giant rodent in the garbage can?

I'll never know because I couldn't hear it. Loud ass restaurant.

What?

Not too bright.

The atmosphere is highly underrated by many restaurateurs. We have a really good seafood place in our nearby "big" city that I guess used Dairy Queen as the look and feel for a target. Super bright lights and loud. So dumb.

Dim the lights, throw some carpet down, spot a few nice plants, dress up the waitstaff a bit and they could increase prices 50-75% with no problem. Old people don't like 'loud' when they're spending money eating out, nor do they need to perform brain surgery in there.

JamesPShelley said:

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TyHolden said:

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Whiskey Cake is pretty bad. That place is dark as hell at night. You could have sex in a corner table and nobody would know.

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You saw me? I was by myself.

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yes we all saw you by yourself in the corner

olds

I'll take dim lighting over bad lighting. Went to a Chili's for the first time in years last month. Not sure if its universal, but this location now uses "daylight"/blue-ish bulbs directly over the tables. Super harsh and bright, daylight bulbs don't belong anywhere indoors unless it's a warehouse.

Matsui said:

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olds

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Carbon dating.

Even if your eyesight isn't getting bad (yet, because it gradually will as you get older), bring a pair of reading glasses with you to restaurants.

They immediately improve the legibility of the menu, increase the text size, and somehow improve the light condition as well. Then take 'em back off and stash for the rest of the meal.

Saves using a flashlight, and making everyone with you think you're old and need glasses.

Helps cut down on people needlessly complaining about those harmless hairs in their food.