Wife and I only started watching Netflix earlier this year. Most of the time we connect on first try but other times may take 20+ times. Is this adeal with Netflix? I'll probably get reamed for this.

Shouldn't be the case. What kind of device are you getting that issue with?

TV through Uverse

I dont have uverse but my cable box will also connect to Netflix. I found it wasnt as quick of a connection through the cable box as from the TV app or my roku so I usually watch Netflix on roku.

I'd hard reboot the main uverse dvr box (not just the wireless receiver if that's what this is) and then log out and back in to the app and see if that works. Uverse had decent chat support back when I had them, so you may want to troubleshoot with their chat.

We watch it fairly often through a Sony smart TV, another tv with a Roku and another with a fire stick on it and I have never had a connection issue on any tv. Must be an issue with your set top box. Try loading it thru your smart TV app if you have one.