Maybe it's because I'm sleep deprived...

Maybe it's because I'm heavy into Bonfire mode because of the culmination of ASB's efforts...

Maybe it's because I'm a senior and apparently I'm supposed to expire in a few days...

But I'm a bit on edge tonight.

As soon as I got off of work this afternoon, I rushed to stack. Things were off to a slow start. So and so decided to take the night off. So and so and his buddies decided to go to the hall. Well, it was unacceptable by any means... so people got on the phone as others were busting tail to finish stack by Saturday. Within an hour and a half, two more dorms showed up and a couple corps outfits followed soon behind...

As construction was bustling, the Greens got to work. I'm very confident about things for Saturday. I can't believe it's here already and despite the last minute preparations, we're actually more prepared for burn night than we ever have been at this point.

So, I was on a Bonfire high.

Especially when I got out of the Greenpot trailer to see what was going on at stack (it was after the shift was technically over)... and lo and behold, I find a lone crew stacking. This lone crew was comprised of the OC warriors and the CTs. They were working on finishing a quadrant, so there were two swings going and it was so efficient. Log after log was going up perfectly. Everyone was efficiently doing their job.

Then my buddy comes over and has this... look... and I can tell something's wrong.

So I ask.

And I remember why we're not having a midnight to 6 shift tonight.

This short conversation snapped me out of simply going through the motions. After standing for a few minutes contemplating this, I begin to exit so I can make it to the Bonfire memorial on time.

On the drive to campus, I kept thinking about this day, 6 years ago. I kept thinking about my first day at Bonfire. I kept thinking of why it's so important to me and to the Aggie Family.

So, I park and walk across the Polo Fields. It's something about the Polo Fields that's just spiritual to me. Since my fish year, it's been a place that I've utilized to escape and have some quiet time and reflect upon my life. It has been a place that I have returned to when I get at times, burned out by my Bonfire responsibilites.

And what do I see?

I see a orange ring and thousands of Aggies filing in around it silently.

And then it hits me all at once.

I started imagining that day and the pain it caused. So I cried.

I started imagining the sight of a beautifully erected, burning stack with tens of thousands of Aggies united together. So I cried some more.

I started imagining the impact of that day in the terms in which I know Bonfire as. So I cried some more.

I started imagining how it would have felt to have been there - again, in terms of my brothers and sisters. And I lost it.

As soon as I thought my emotions were gathered, a hord of corps fish arrive in the spot to my left... dressed in their pots with a deer in the headlights look in their eyes.

I start surveying the faces around me and most are solemn and that of empathy... but it just seems like the current student body has no idea.

This made me sad.

It made me sad because these corps fish are pretty much being prevented from obtaining first-hand experience to frame their understanding...

It made me angry because people are standing in their way of fully developing a understanding of something that they're supposed to be "the keepers of the Spirit" about.

Every year it's been something. In '02, people were threatened to be kicked out of not only the corps, but A&M. In '03 and '04, a mandatory CQ was scheduled on burn night. In '05, corps brass week was conveniently scheduled to conclude (?) on burn night.

I'm so angry right now.

I'm sorry. This may not make a whole lot of sense and it is nearly 4 am, so that contributes to the problem...

I just had to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening.

As I was standing out at the memorial, I had the same thought you did. I was pissed that the Corps, who are the "Keepers of the Spirit," aren't allowed to fully experience the Spirit itself. I noticed so many CT outfits came out wearing pots that are in immaculate condition because they are now only symbolic, and not used for their original purpose. I thought about how many of the fish knew why they had them, other than their upperclassmen told them "Hey, paint this." I was also proud to be one of the people who do work on Bonfire now and keep the Spirit alive through that.

I guess I'm not the only one then.

I just feel bad for them.

Golfer bought me a texags membership... so now I have tons of icons.

I used to be able to tell if it was him signed in or me by the # of icons.

Dangit.

That was me above this, btw.

NSG -

I feel your pain. I really, really do.

However, when you get old like me you realize that you can't afford to lose sleep over the things you cannot control.

The CTs are coming around slowly. You have increasing #s of CTs coming out to stack over last year and will have a few more next year. You have CT leadership. And the beautiful thing is, the ones out there are coming out because they truly want to, not because someone told them to.

Just keep doing what you're doing and be proud.

-barney

The ones who do participate are placing many things on the line--the school is not making it easy for them.

I cry this time every year.

Thank you for this post, NSG. I typed out a little story for you below. Hopefully this anecdote will encourage you a bit.


I got the chance to have lunch a few Sundays back with a Corps Fish. I won't name him because his upperclassmen read TexAgs. He was green with envy that he can't come to Cut for fear of being crapped out by his pissheads all week.

That Saturday myself and Mississippi (A sophomore from northside) had been to Cut and were laughing and joking about the fun we had and how sore and bruised we were. This young Cadet was chomping at the bit to get his pot dirty. I told him how much I wished he was able to come out.

I got a voicemail from that young man at 3:45 this morning, swearing up and down he was going to become Corps Brass just so he could encourage the Fish to participate. He said "I don't know what Bonfire was, but A&M needs it back. That's plain as day."

Barney makes a good point. I was just mentioning this to someone the other day. In my day a significant number of the Corps were there because they were told to be there. Sure, there were plenty that worked hard, but they were just as many that didn't and that's one of the things us non-regs razzed them about. Now, the ones that are there WANT to be there and they work as hard and long as anyone else there. Good for them.

Scott Coker '92

From the outside, it is obvious to me that this thing continues to grow, and the students will continue to embrace it more and more. As with most good things, it two steps forward one step back. Maybe sometimes it's two steps back, but then four steps forward. Me? I'm shooting for a couple million so I can buy enough land and enough politicians, to put some of these issues to rest.

Me too Analogy. If I won the lottery I would be that unnamed donor who would buy Hot Rod Hill or even a larger property that might even have a few years worth of cut on it. Pave lots and have a permanent home.

If it could move back to campus, then it would still move. But these kids need to not constantly be looking for a home.

I also would offer a huge donation to the corps which I love and support, but if they wanted the donation--say a couple of hundred thousand for scholarships, the one restriction is that corps activities would NOT conflict with the final week at least of stack and burn.

good bull, AnalogyAg.

NSG, i know how u feel. i'm 02. i was in HHH fish year, and i built, unloaded and stacked the Hell outa '98. i moved to ][otard pisshead year and became more of a 02%er, but i was there the day it feel. me and my ][otard buddies were out there most of that day, moving logs. i never did cry much over it in 1999, but yesterday a friend sent me a link of some bonfire memeorial images, and i broke down and cried in my classroom for 10 minutes. good thing none of my students or coworkers were there.

keep on trucking, man. Student bonfire is like pursuing a girl. two steps forward and one step back. keep at it, do what's right, and years from now, new army is gonna thank you.

btw, Daniel, sorry i missed your call earily today. i don't know if you're driving up to CS right now, but i'll call u up as soon as i get offline. God bless, bro.

][otard Hall
V-1
UCM

Thanks for keeping the Spirit alive. I applaud everyone that worked hard this year on Bonfire and everyone that worked hard on it in the past. Its not on campus, but its still alive; I dont care what anyone says.
Whoop for Bonfire! and BTHOtu