Howdy!

My name is Grace Kelly (yes, like the princess), and I'm hosting local speed dating events in Aggieland for different age brackets, trying to get people off of the dating apps/websites and out into the community for real, in-person connection.

We have facilitated 532 first dates thus far across our first set of events in 2025, and we've very proud that 100% of our past daters have said in our post-event survey that they'd recommend us to others, and 100% said they felt comfortable. We constantly get great feedback that what we've created is great, because it's not a bar scene, a club scene, or a corporate networking scene, but a genuinely fun, relaxed, no-pressure, structured environment for meeting lots of local singles in person.

Our problem with the "older" age brackets, however (think 45-60 and 60+) is that we sell out of women's seats almost immediately, but then struggle very hard to fill the men's seats. We're trying to crack the secret code of what is holding the men in this age bracket back where the women in this age bracket have no problem signing up and showing up.

I've tried focusing on our data, that 100% of our past daters have said they were comfortable during the event, and also that our mutual match rate post-event is far more successful than apps. For instance, I've seen some research that shows dating apps only match 1-3% for guys, and for women, it's up to 10%. Across our events, we're averaging a match rate between 33-72% (meaning 33-72% of folks at our events get at least one match to go on a second date). Even the people who don't match with anyone still tell us they had a great time and will do it again. The "younger" guys (25-45) especially take time to leave us testimonials about how much they liked it!

The data doesn't seem to move the needle though on the 45-60, 60+ guys, and it's been unclear what exactly is the magic bullet to persuading more men to join us! I know I'm probably opening up Pandora's box by posting in here on a topic like this, but I'm genuinely curious and eager to know what local single men 45+ think about speed dating, and what would help them feel good about participating?

If you need more context on who we are and how we operate, you can check out the Brazos Valley Speed Dating Website, and our Facebook page at Brazos Valley Speed Dating.

Thanks in advance for your insights and advice!

I've told my wife that if anything ever happens to her or to our marriage, I'm just gonna play guitar. I cannot imagine getting back into the dating scene.

That being said, if someone were to be in a situation where they found themselves back in the dating scene unexpectedly, jumping right in like this would be a huge time saver. I see the value.

Is there even a large population of single men in that age range here? I mean, I know a few- but not many compared to the under 45 crowd locally

I have a feeling that a lot of single guys, especially over 40, have no desire to spend their free time just to experience the real world version of being "swiped left."

I think my wife might disapprove, but I can ask her.

spicyitalian said:

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I think my wife might disapprove, but I can ask her.

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She goes every time so I am not sure she can really say no at this point.

If, or when, I were to become a widower, I'm not sure I would want to reenter the dating mode. Just not interested as would rather spend time with my kids and grandkids. They are more important to me than trying to establish another relationship with a previously unknown person. That's a plus 65+ response.

maroon barchetta said:

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I've told my wife that if anything ever happens to her or to our marriage, I'm just gonna play guitar. I cannot imagine getting back into the dating scene.

That being said, if someone were to be in a situation where they found themselves back in the dating scene unexpectedly, jumping right in like this would be a huge time saver. I see the value.

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I'm 34 and couldn't imagine getting back into dating.

In my experience, esp with widowed men (professionally, y'all, I used to be a hospice nurse) they tend to date women they already know.

I see this with my divorced friends as well.

If something happens to my wife, I am not dating again. I did it in my 30s here after a divorce, and luckily, I met an older grad student (she was 28) online. Now that I'm 50+, I am not going to pursue another woman.

My dad was widowed at 67. Two years later he was dating and they stayed together until he passed at 90.

Never say never.

I'm a fairly recent widower, and I belong to a widower's group that considers entering the dating scene. I haven't really wanted to find someone else, but it is very lonely to be missing your +1. Many of the opinions I've seen from the other widowers tend to lean to the dating scene people taking advantage of widows and widowers vulnerabilities. They discuss love bombjng, which I had never heard of until recently, so that they can hook up, and things where someone trying to consider meeting someone wouldn't ever want to go through. I guess it's a very protected heart that is scared to open up to just anyone because it has already been hurt more than anyone can imagine. It seems at times just easier to be alone.

I think it also makes sense the comment that many widowers and widows in the age range you mention tend to date people they've known. There is a much lesser chance of being hurt by someone you've known for a long time.

As for me, I've talked with friends from the past, and enjoyed conversations. As far as the dating apps, they are not something I would think I would ever want to join. A casual evening, like the OP mentions, without pressure, would be something I could see myself considering though, maybe without any expectations of actually meeting someone.

Also editing to add that being "out there" in the community and fearing running into someone you dated or went on a date with which may not have worked out doesn't help the internal thoughts of "it's just easier not to date".

Just my $0.02.

" Our problem with the "older" age brackets, however (think 45-60 and 60+) is that we sell out of women's seats almost immediately, but then struggle very hard to fill the men's seats. We're trying to crack the secret code of what is holding the men in this age bracket back where the women in this age bracket have no problem signing up and showing up."

Hmmm try putting those men in an age bracket - 1 or 2 below theirs and see if that cracks the secret code….

I was single until I was 41 years old. I loved it, and I was not looking anymore. I married a lady who was my first girlfriend (when I was 15). I have told her that I didn't get married until she came back into my life because I was waiting on her. I can't imagine marrying anyone else. If something happened to her, I would stay single the rest of my life.

I know how to be single, and I enjoyed it. I only know how to be married to my wife, and I would not be interested in the least in marrying someone else. I would just enjoy watching as many sporting events as I could and eating whatever the heck I wanted to.

aggies4life said:

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" Our problem with the "older" age brackets, however (think 45-60 and 60+) is that we sell out of women's seats almost immediately, but then struggle very hard to fill the men's seats. We're trying to crack the secret code of what is holding the men in this age bracket back where the women in this age bracket have no problem signing up and showing up."

Hmmm try putting those men in an age bracket - 1 or 2 below theirs and see if that cracks the secret code….

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This. I just turned 68. Over the last 15 years my girlfriends when we met were 33 (Stephanie), 33 (Belle), 33 (Jennifer) and 36 (Jessica). All were nice relationships and still friends today. I'm not interested in marriage as I enjoy my life and freedom to do as I wish, but do enjoy the company of sweet, beautiful, younger women who aren't into games. They appreciate the wisdom, guidance and stability an older man provides. Women close to my age seem angry and more manipulative. Want you to do what they want. Don't need a nag. If I were to speed date today I'd want to meet women in the 35-45 age range.

Plus, I'm too good looking. Lolz. People always estimate my age 10-15 years younger. Jessica's 17 year old daughter thought I was 36 when I was 60. So, that's another thing. Men tend to age better.

Just thought of another thing. 70%+ of divorces are initiated by the wife. I read a study where they found ex-wives almost all talk trash about their ex-husbands. Ex-husbands don't. They are either agnostic about the marriage or complimentary. I imagine most of these women around 60 into speed dating are either widows or divorcees. So, put 2+2 together.