I know a few of you are at least! I know for a fact I am not because I am only half Mexican. That disqualifies me.

I have a Ferrari Polo shirt and a hat that's bedazzled. I also like my iced tea with no ice and refer to everyone has "joven." My 50 year old wife dresses like a 20 year old and I enjoy holding up a line at the grocery store while she searches her Coach purse for the lone star card.

P.S. even though my English is serviceable or perhaps even fluent, I will only speak in Spanish to any person serving in any sort of customer service position. I will cut in line anytime I see fit and become angry and loud with anyone who attempts to call me out on it. At restaurants I will complain about my order even though it was delivered precisely as I ordered it. When I am finished shopping with my children, they will open their items in the car and throw all wrapping materials out of the window and into the parking lot.