If he had to answer without coach speak, what would you ask? I'll go first....
Why were you unable to take advantage of widely observed match-up advantages at nearly every position group, particularly in the first half with both of their starting linebackers out of the game, when almost every other SEC team they played was able to have success?

"Who do you think you are?"

"What gives you the right?"

What are you having for dinner?

Why are you pregnant?

Why is Collin Klein still employed?

2 TDs against Texas in 120 minutes of game time.

Texas had 3 last night.

I would like to know about the game plan. Why was it so different than what we've seen before?

The plays called were odd to me.

I'd like to know why they didn't make any adjustment to account for Texas deciding to run Manning so much. We rushed 4 and had 7 in coverage and just vacated the middle of the field.

Coach, you typically have great halftime adjustments. So I'm curious to the 3rd quarter offensive game plan. It appeared you wanted to make sure Texas did not take part in the Lane Kiffin sweepstakes.

Why did you not blitz on 3rd down like you've been doing all year!

Why did you stop applying pressure, that got them to 3rd and long on 1st and second, on 3rd down?

That was almost 3rd and Chavis-level of fail last night.

Are you going to give back all the extension $$$? Why do you deserve to keep it after the atrocious game?

Did you know there was a game tonight?

Do you think you will ever have a team that can beat tu?

Is it the raises and extensions that had you and your staff chillaxin' instead of preparing the team and the game plan for the most important game of the season to date?

You get BAS now?

Do you want us to close that door?

Why the frick did you throw 5-yard passes on 3rd down when you needed 8 yards?

Who was running the Offense tonight, RC Slocum???

Based on the OP's user name .... Why not take advantage of Moffit and the nutrition center and set a great example in self discipline drop a bunch of weight it would be a well publicized very positive story? You'd feel better. Your wife and Dr. would be thrilled!

Why did you let them kept ramming it right up the middle into our Defense?

That sheyot is very painful. Except when you like that sort of thing...in Austin.

Why did you surrender to your rival on national tv again ?