I realize that this answer probably won't be helpful to the OP, even if it would appeal to him, but here goes --
Are there no longer any non-subscription simple computer payroll programs that allow one to print a physical paycheck on site, keep track of Federal, State and Miscellaneous deductions, generate the required monthly , quartely and annual reports (including W-2 and W3), and allow you to manually enter the changed W/H tables based on the charts the IRS publishes each December?
We did payroll in-house for a small business I owned for over 30 years and other than the very small amount of time required each week to enter hours and the like, and print checks, we never paid anyone outside of house a dime.
In fact, the program I used was originally written in the early 1980's in the BASIC language for CP/M computers. I just ported it over the years to whatever platform we were currently running.
Yeah, I know -- doing payroll in-house is an antiquated concept and takes away from time that could be used planning the owner's vacations in the Cayman Islands, or brainstorming the next great thing.
Like I said, not helpful. But the question is legit. Payroll computations are not advanced calculus. Are there any stand-alone payroll programs (with self-updated tax tables) still being sold?
And I realize, most mid and high-end guys want direct deposit. Most of the guys I worked did not. Your mileage may vary, of course.