How much are you leaving behind for your children/family?

12,787 Views | 88 Replies | Last: 1 yr ago by bmks270
Andrew Dufresne
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When you leave this Earth are you giving everything to them?
MAROON
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AG
Yes
What do you boys want for breakfast BBQ ?.....OK Chili.
permabull
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I hope my last check bounces
aggieband 83
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LOL.
Thanks, I needed a laugh!
OldArmyCT
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If you can't spend like you want to when you're retired and still leave your kids a sizable inheritance then you planned poorly while still alive.
Charismatic Megafauna
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Why do you feel a duty to leave your kids a "sizable inheritance"? Did/will you get one? I feel like my obligations to my kids will end once they are all married, other than making sure I'm not a burden to them later in life. If i leave them land i can see feeling obligated to make sure they have the means to keep it or the understanding that they are free to sell it without feeling like they've let me down
AgOutsideAustin
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No structured plan for me but I plan to go and do as long as I can go and do, kids can have what's left. I'm not living the rest of my life with the goal of setting theirs up. Whatever they get will be a dollar more than I got when my parents passed.
Fins Up!
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I think passing a legacy is important, but not necessarily a priority. Leaving land, a beach house, and things of that nature are much better than cash, IMO.
He Who Shall Be Unnamed
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I think it is an interesting question. I like the Warren Buffet answer about how much to leave behind, loosely paraphrased as "enough to do anything but not enough to do nothing". I think you have to know a lot about your kid(s) and what they will likely do with whatever you leave them, including at what point they will receive their inheritance.
As for me, I definitely will leave my son without school debt, unless he chooses to be an idiot in college. I would love to fund 529 plans for whatever children he might have as well. Show them that education is an expectation and a priority. A decent amount of money in order to start a business, make a down payment on a home, etc., would also be nice. I've seen way too many situations up close and in person where either parents or their children are profligate with spending and the results are never good. Lots of hurt feelings that can go on for generations.
Troglodyte
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I would prefer to leave this earth with my kids being more successful than me. Hopefully, they won't want anything from me other than family airlooms and keepsakes.
BenTheGoodAg
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My goal with my kids is to put them in a position where they can be more successful than I ever was through teaching them a combination of self-sufficiency, gratitude, and overall ways to think about finances

If I can successfully instill those values, an inheritance is a blessing and not a curse. Our most basic goals for retirement are to not be a burden on anyone. Beyond that, I would be really happy to bless my kids and grandkids for generations to come.
aggiepaintrain
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they get what's left
mwm
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Proverbs 22:1
DannyDuberstein
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My goal is to make sure I'm self-funded for all of my needs and my wife's needs to the very end, whether we croak at 75 or 105. This should mean I end up leaving a good chunk of $$$, not by intent to leave it but by intent to not burden my kids with anything while we are here.
jamey
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I feel like I owe it to my parents and grandparents to leave something to my daughter. Grandparents were poor, living in a dugout, barns ..etc in their early life but we're able to raise their socio economic status a little with their ~7th grade educations. My parents worked thru college and bought a house and lived a frugal lifestyle but paid for my college and helped me with a house.

So my plan is a 529 for my daughter, help her with a house and a little extra, perhaps a few hundred K in inheritance and split the house with her step sisters. I'll also help them set themselves up with investing early.

I think its good to want more for the next generation, do you're own work, but then pass it down.
If I had Warren Buffet money that's a different question.

Also agree with those above that priority number 1 is don't be a burden in my old age. So perhaps she gets more of an inheritance but I don't know when I'll die or what inflation will look like between now and then so it's an impossible calculation
BoydCrowder13
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I feel like if you construct a portfolio in retirement that provides you with near certainty of 30 years of spending and annual pay raises, you'll have plenty left over for the children regardless.

Of the 2 scenarios below, I'd rather do the second:

-Retire at 55 with $2M, if you spend more than $150k/year, there is a real chance you run out of money in your late 70s.

-Retire at 63 with $4M. Can spend probably spend close to $200k/year without touching principal and you are giving yourself annual raises.
Ag92NGranbury
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mwm said:

Proverbs 22:1

Proverbs 13:22
BTHOB
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I understand the desire to accumulate enough to prevent becoming a burden to one's children. However, that premise does not, necessarily, provide an answer to the original question.

For those who do not "intend" to leave a sizable inheritance to their children but who have accepted the possibility of that occurring due to their accumulated assets (in the interest of not becoming a burden), why not direct (via will or trust or other designation) that remaining funds (or a percentage, thereof) be donated to a charity or some other organization instead?

If this designation is not made, then the argument that there is no "intent" to leave money to one's children seems a bit dishonest. I, personally, have no problems with people managing their estates in whatever way they see fit. But to claim no intent to leave an inheritance, but then to take no action to ensure distribution in a different way, sounds a bit like denial to me.

Make a choice and then stand by it. That is only my opinion on the matter. And, my opinion plus 5 pennies will get you a nickel.
Ribeye-Rare
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Ag92NGranbury said:

mwm said:

Proverbs 22:1

Proverbs 13:22
Good verses.

Solomon also struggled with the issue of work, wealth and inheritance:
Quote:

Yea, I hated all my labor which I had taken under the sun: because I should leave it unto the man that should be after me.

And who knoweth whether he shall be a wise man or a fool: yet shall he have rule over all my labor wherein I have labored, and wherein I have showed myself wise under the sun.

For there is a man whose labor is in wisdom, and in knowledge, and in equity; yet to a man who hath not labored therein shall he leave it for his portion. This is also vanity and a great evil.

- Ecclesiastes 2:19,20,22
So, to the OP's inquiry -- I guess you need to know your kids and whether you think they'll be able to handle what you leave to them.

I recall that old saw -- the first generation makes it, the second increases it, and the third blows it. I'm sure you've seen this type of thing.

For myself, I've found a couple of charities that will get a sizeable amount, barring catastrophic medical needs for my wife or family, and then leave family members the rest.

Even if the family is irresponsible as hell, at least I'll go to my grave knowing some good came from it.

All that said, I'm grateful for what my father left me. He worked every day until the week of his death at age 80, and God willing, I'll do the same. My tastes are fairly simple.
mwm
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So, if you could leave just one gift to your children (name or wealth), which would it be?

Interesting topic.
YouBet
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We need to figure this out. We have no kids of our own and our nieces (2) and nephews (5) are already set for life without anything we leave them to them. Thus, they will have too much damn money as it is.

It's going to be charities for us for most of it.
Troglodyte
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YouBet said:

We need to figure this out. We have no kids of our own and our nieces (2) and nephews (5) are already set for life without anything we leave them to them. Thus, they will have too much damn money as it is.

It's going to be charities for us for most of it.


texasaggiesunited.com
YouBet
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Troglodyte said:

YouBet said:

We need to figure this out. We have no kids of our own and our nieces (2) and nephews (5) are already set for life without anything we leave them to them. Thus, they will have too much damn money as it is.

It's going to be charities for us for most of it.


texasaggiesunited.com
Cool. Currently have The Human League as a leading candidate. Will add this one for consideration.
BenTheGoodAg
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YouBet said:

Currently have The Human League as a leading candidate.
Money for people?
Dr T and the Women
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I have been thinking about this a lot. I want my son to be motivated and feel free money can corrupt. I am definitely paying through college and would invest in any good ideas he has.

I started a sp500 fund in my name that he is listed as the beneficiary for. I also started a roth for him and a UIL insurance product.

I expect by the time I am gone that will be a couple million.. the rest of my estate will likely go to charity.
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themissinglink
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I don't "plan" to leave anything but realistically there will hopefully be quite a bit left. If I knew when my last day on earth is, my answer would be zero.
GenericAggie
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I don't think this math works….
MRB10
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Mine is all going into bitcoin and how much I like them as adults will dictate whether I tell them how to get to it or not.
“There is no red.
There is no blue.
There is the state.
And there is you.”

“As government expands, Liberty contracts” - R. Reagan
Ribeye-Rare
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mwm said:

So, if you could leave just one gift to your children (name or wealth), which would it be?
May I answer neither?

My name means little, except to me and my wife.

I've seen wonderful men raise rotten kids and the name meant nothing. Conversely, sometimes the worst parents have outstanding children. Again, each person stands on their own reputation. Just think of the sons throughout history who, as either a Jr. or II or III or IV disgraced the name of the otherwise upstanding men who preceded them.

Leaving mere material wealth is far less important than leaving wealth in the form of an instilled reverence for Almighty God, a work ethic, and a strong moral code based on the teachings of the Bible backed up by the behavior of the old man.

That said, throwing in some material wealth for your kids is icing on the cake.
Trident 88
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My parents didn't leave me any $ of consequence. I hope to leave my kids enough $ to incent each of them to invest in a side hustle and hopefully end up wealthier than me. However, I don't feel obligated at all to do this. I just want to.
mwm
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Leaving mere material wealth is far less important than leaving wealth in the form of an instilled reverence for Almighty God, a work ethic, and a strong moral code based on the teachings of the Bible backed up by the behavior of the old man.

Very well said.
He Who Shall Be Unnamed
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Dr T and the Women said:

I have been thinking about this a lot. I want my son to be motivated and feel free money can corrupt. I am definitely paying through college and would invest in any good ideas he has.

I started a sp500 fund in my name that he is listed as the beneficiary for. I also started a roth for him and a UIL insurance product.

I expect by the time I am gone that will be a couple million.. the rest of my estate will likely go to charity.
I am looking at it much the same way you are. I absolutely cannot comprehend some people saying that they would preferentially leave nothing to their children. That being said, I definitely do not want to leave too much, either. I try to be pretty careful with my son in not letting him know what my investment accounts hold, nor what he should receive in his share in land upon my passing. Although I haven't seen anything in him that concerns me, I feel that most kids really need to feel there isn't a huge safety net, or else they feel it's OK to just coast along. I like the way you are approaching this, and a couple of million seems to be a really nice nest egg to move forward. Ideally, he will have grandchildren and I can spread money out into 529s, etc., so there isn't a big windfall that comes down for him (and whomever he might be married to at the time) to potentially blow.
gigemhilo
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jamey said:

I feel like I owe it to my parents and grandparents to leave something to my daughter.


I agree with this 100%. my grandparents lived in poverty and worked hard to lift their kids out of that. So did my parents. I have lived my adult life to honor that and pay it forward.

My wife and I's goal will be to enjoy retirement and not be a burden. Hopefully we can leave our three kids enough to not worry about finances and send their kids to school (or grandkids if we live that long).

I don't understand the line of thinking of making it harder on your kids - either that be not helping them with college, or not leaving them anything after life. I cant in good conscience do either of those when my direct ancestors fought so hard to bless me with so much.
htxag09
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Dr T and the Women said:

I have been thinking about this a lot. I want my son to be motivated and feel free money can corrupt. I am definitely paying through college and would invest in any good ideas he has.

I started a sp500 fund in my name that he is listed as the beneficiary for. I also started a roth for him and a UIL insurance product.

I expect by the time I am gone that will be a couple million.. the rest of my estate will likely go to charity.
Even if it free money doesn't corrupt, it's a slippery slope of spending/keeping up with the Joneses....

Had a coworker at my first job who's parents gave him a house. Didn't really corrupt him, but he was absolutely in an area he normally wouldn't be able to afford. From the parents' perspective, that's exactly why they did it. Safe neighborhood, great place to raise their grandkids, awesome schools, closer to them, etc. But flip side is all of his neighbors were further in their careers and making significantly more than them. Everyone had luxury SUV's in their garages, kids in expensive extracurricular programs, etc. He ended up racking up a lot of debt trying to keep up with his neighbors....
Dr T and the Women
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htxag09 said:

Dr T and the Women said:

I have been thinking about this a lot. I want my son to be motivated and feel free money can corrupt. I am definitely paying through college and would invest in any good ideas he has.

I started a sp500 fund in my name that he is listed as the beneficiary for. I also started a roth for him and a UIL insurance product.

I expect by the time I am gone that will be a couple million.. the rest of my estate will likely go to charity.
Even if it free money doesn't corrupt, it's a slippery slope of spending/keeping up with the Joneses....

Had a coworker at my first job who's parents gave him a house. Didn't really corrupt him, but he was absolutely in an area he normally wouldn't be able to afford. From the parents' perspective, that's exactly why they did it. Safe neighborhood, great place to raise their grandkids, awesome schools, closer to them, etc. But flip side is all of his neighbors were further in their careers and making significantly more than them. Everyone had luxury SUV's in their garages, kids in expensive extracurricular programs, etc. He ended up racking up a lot of debt trying to keep up with his neighbors....
I think that is a great point.

I want him to earn what he gets. I should say he doesn't know about the stock fund he will get so I hope he stays motivated. I also just endowed a scholli at ATM so I told him he has to earn a scholarship because I gave his college fund away lol.

We have moved into a fair amount of real estate... if he joins the family business then the plan will be a little different too
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