Names that set a kid up to fail

1,755 Views | 41 Replies | Last: 4 hrs ago by RikkiTikkaTagem
Smeghead4761
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2:00a, 2/5/26
I will admit to not be a fan of giving kids oddball names, and I'm especially not fond of parents who take a normal name and give a 'special' spelling so their child can be unique (and suffer from constantly having to spell their name for other people. I still recall taking a good while to process a grocery store clerk's 'Krystle' name tag.)

But there are some parents who just seem to go above and beyond to set their newborns up for failure.

For example, the individual booked into the Brazos County jail yesterday named, I s**t you not, Pimptereus.

WTF, over?
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Anchorhold
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2:30a, 2/5/26
Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject? Now you mention botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
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bam02
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4:34a, 2/5/26
AG
Went to high school with an Aswipe Johnson. His mother was French and it was pronounced "Oz-wee-pay" but nobody ever got it right. He would get so frustrated.
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maroon barchetta
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In reply to Smeghead4761 • 5:49a, 2/5/26

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UTExan
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7:22a
Wilberforce
“If you’re going to have crime it should at least be organized crime”
-Havelock Vetinari
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Slicer97
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In reply to maroon barchetta • 7:35a
AG
I remember when he was born. One of either his parents or grandparents were either custodial staff or kitchen staff at the school where my wife was teaching at the time. When she told me about the name, I thought, "Yeah, that kid is destined for jail."
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Claude!
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7:40a
Weird. I was just thinking about nominative determinism the other day.
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Tatem
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In reply to maroon barchetta • 7:42a
maroon barchetta said:


he looks excited to be going to jail
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zephyr88
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In reply to bam02 • 8:01a
AG
bam02 said:
Went to high school with an Aswipe Johnson. His mother was French and it was pronounced "Oz-wee-pay" but nobody ever got it right. He would get so frustrated.

This Aswipe Johnson???

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maroon barchetta
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In reply to Slicer97 • 8:03a
Slicer97 said:
I remember when he was born. One of either his parents or grandparents were either custodial staff or kitchen staff at the school where my wife was teaching at the time. When she told me about the name, I thought, "Yeah, that kid is destined for jail."


You are either a prophet or just someone with common sense.
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B-1 83
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8:07a
AG
When Teacher Wife '82 was teaching in Uvalde she had a girl named "Erotica" in her class. Now that was a child with a destiny in life….
Being in TexAgs jail changes a man……..no, not really
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zephyr88
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In reply to Tatem • 8:20a
AG
Tatem said:
maroon barchetta said:


he looks excited to be going to jail

Wonder what his car looks like...

--------------
In Texas, driving a vehicle with objects (signs, decals, hung items) or non-transparent materials on the windshield, side, or rear windows that obstruct or reduce the operator's clear view is a misdemeanor. Texas Transportation Code 547.613 prohibits materials that alter color or reduce light transmission.

Key Aspects of BPD/Equipment - Obstr View Through Windshield or Window (Texas Law):
  • Definition: Anything attached to or placed on the windshield, side, or rear windows that impairs the driver's vision or constitutes a safety hazard.
  • Legal Consequences: This is a Class C misdemeanor, often resulting in a fine.
  • Examples of Obstructions: GPS devices placed in the direct line of sight, large stickers, sun screening devices, or objects hanging from the rearview mirror.
  • Window Tint: Front side windows must allow at least 25% light transmission. Tint on the windshield must stop above the AS-1 line (or top 5 inches).
  • Damaged Windshields: A cracked windshield that obstructs the driver's view or causes wipers to fail can be a valid reason for a citation.
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Sweet Kitten Feet
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In reply to maroon barchetta • 8:52a
S
maroon barchetta said:


Dang it! Came here to post this. Poor little Pimptereus. We had such high hopes for you.
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Ginormus Ag
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10:12a
AG
Toucan is a good name for a boy or girl who is set up to fail.
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BQ_90
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10:28a
AG
Adolph
Judas
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Ryan the Temp
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In reply to B-1 83 • 10:46a
AG
B-1 83 said:
When Teacher Wife '82 was teaching in Uvalde she had a girl named "Erotica" in her class. Now that was a child with a destiny in life….

Does anyone else suddenly smell vanilla and daddy issues?
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Ryan the Temp
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10:50a
AG
Is Pimpterius going to marry a girl named Aquanetta?
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Philo B 93
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10:51a
There are people who want to "express themselves" through the name they give their newborn. The one decision they make that sticks with their baby for its entire life, and some idiot wants to saddle him/her with something that has no good connotations like "Arsyn" or something that is a silly misspelling of a common word .......like "Arsyn".

Dude! Get a tatoo! Get a bumper sticker! Say what you need to say for yourself. Express yourself all you want. Start a blog or a tiktok.

But have mercy on the human you created and name your kid Frank or George or Bill or Tom, anything but Sue!

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agnerd
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In reply to zephyr88 • 11:14a
AG
zephyr88 said:
Tatem said:
maroon barchetta said:


he looks excited to be going to jail

Wonder what his car looks like...

--------------
In Texas, driving a vehicle with objects (signs, decals, hung items) or non-transparent materials on the windshield, side, or rear windows that obstruct or reduce the operator's clear view is a misdemeanor. Texas Transportation Code 547.613 prohibits materials that alter color or reduce light transmission.

The rear window part is BS. Panel vans, 18 wheelers, pickups with a full bed or a flipped up tonneau have NO visibility out the back. To make it a crime to have SOME visibility instead of perfect visibility is BS.

And also, how did Pimptereus make it to jail for only that? Surely he had a warrant, right?
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maroon barchetta
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In reply to Ryan the Temp • 11:14a
Ryan the Temp said:
Is Pimpterius going to marry a girl named Aquanetta?


Please happen
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dabo man
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11:34a
AG
In before Orangejello and Lemonjello.
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Owen Kellogg
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11:48a
AG
Always remember you are unique... just like everybody else.
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Gnome Sayin
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11:48a
gary
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1990Hullaballoo
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11:58a
AG
Can't believe no one has mentioned "Ab sid dee".

Spelled Abcde.


ETA: I forgot "Femolly". Spelled Female



I suggested to the now ex that we name our first daughter Odessa Kay.

She said No WAY was she naming her daughter that would have the nickname/initials OK.

Also, all 4 of my daughters called names start with an L.

When trying to name the last, it was a toss up between Laurel and Noel.

I told the now ex we can't use Noel(her preference).

She asked why and I replied " We have Leigh, Lane and Lindsey. We can't end with NO "L".
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713nervy
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In reply to maroon barchetta • 12:08p
AG
He was booked into a JAIL for having window tint that was too dark?! Is that what that booking code means? You have got to be kidding me

ETA: saw someone else post the full code and that's one of the things it could mean: his window tinting was too dark.

Why would that be an offense worth being taking to jail?! That's dumb.
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ABATTBQ11
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In reply to maroon barchetta • 12:09p
AG
TBF, how is that an arrestable offense? Obstructed windshield or window? Really?
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713nervy
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In reply to ABATTBQ11 • 12:10p
AG
ABATTBQ11 said:
TBF, how is that an arrestable offense? Obstructed windshield or window? Really?

THANK YOU.
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713nervy
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12:11p
AG
He does have a great smile though. Pimptereus do be pimpin'.
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Milwaukees Best Light
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12:13p
AG
Arian Foster seemed to escape his unfortunate name.
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Slicer97
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In reply to 713nervy • 12:14p
AG
713nervy said:
He was booked into a JAIL for having window tint that was too dark?! Is that what that booking code means? You have got to be kidding me

ETA: saw someone else post the full code and that's one of the things it could mean: his window tinting was too dark.

Why would that be an offense worth being taking to jail?! That's dumb.

I'm guessing there's more to the story here.
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713nervy
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In reply to Slicer97 • 12:16p
AG
I'm hoping.
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Milwaukees Best Light
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12:22p
AG
Mr. Terius did something else recently and there was a thread about it. Unless there are more than 1 Pimpteriuses in the county. Perhaps his arrest for obstructed windshield was a violation of some other thing.
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713nervy
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12:46p
AG
Mr. Terius
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nbbob
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In reply to Slicer97 • 1:08p
Slicer97 said:
713nervy said:
He was booked into a JAIL for having window tint that was too dark?! Is that what that booking code means? You have got to be kidding me

ETA: saw someone else post the full code and that's one of the things it could mean: his window tinting was too dark.

Why would that be an offense worth being taking to jail?! That's dumb.

I'm guessing there's more to the story here.


A simple google search shows a BPD arrest is for borderline personality disorder and often relates to a threat of violence.
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CharleyKerfeld
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1:15p
When my kid was in the NICU years ago, there was a boy baby in the next row over named Jihad. I'm sure that's gone over great in the public school system.

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