CharleyKerfeld said:

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When my kid was in the NICU years ago, there was a boy baby in the next row over named Jihad. I'm sure that's gone over great in the public school system.

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If his parents ever get a job transfer to Israel it's gonna be bad.

There was a football recruit a few years ago named Yourhighness.

1990Hullaballoo said:

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Can't believe no one has mentioned "Ab sid dee".

Spelled Abcde.

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Yep, there are many Abcdes in the US. Ludicrous.

Smeghead4761 said:

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I will admit to not be a fan of giving kids oddball names, and I'm especially not fond of parents who take a normal name and give a 'special' spelling so their child can be unique (and suffer from constantly having to spell their name for other people. I still recall taking a good while to process a grocery store clerk's 'Krystle' name tag.)

But there are some parents who just seem to go above and beyond to set their newborns up for failure.

For example, the individual booked into the Brazos County jail yesterday named, I s**t you not, Pimptereus.

WTF, over?

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...username checks out.

CharleyKerfeld said:

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When my kid was in the NICU years ago, there was a boy baby in the next row over named Jihad. I'm sure that's gone over great in the public school system.

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That kid probably doing better than your kid.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jihad_Ward

nbbob said:

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Slicer97 said:

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713nervy said:

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He was booked into a JAIL for having window tint that was too dark?! Is that what that booking code means? You have got to be kidding me

ETA: saw someone else post the full code and that's one of the things it could mean: his window tinting was too dark.

Why would that be an offense worth being taking to jail?! That's dumb.

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I'm guessing there's more to the story here.

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A simple google search shows a BPD arrest is for borderline personality disorder and often relates to a threat of violence.

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Brazos Justice Web shows that this is the 10th time he's been booked in to the county jail, starting in 2020 (when he turned 17 and became eligible for the grown up jail.)

So I'd say it's a good guess that BPD wanted him off the street for some reason or other.

And police CAN arrest for any traffic offense except for speeding, open container, and cell phone use. They just very rarely do.

Speeding more than 25mph over the posted speed limit is an arrest.

Had a buddy in the Navy whose parents were hippies. They had common Jon and Jane Doe names, and they had their last name changed to Starcruiser. My buddy's name….

Mars Millenium Falcon Starcruiser.

vmiaptetr said:

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Mars Millenium Falcon Starcruiser.

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i would throw this resume in garbage at warp speed

One of my moron cousins is about to have her third kid. If it was a girl she wanted to name it Genesis, not sure if she was planning on replacing the vowels with unnecessary Ys. It turns out it will a boy and the baby daddy stepped in and demanded he pick the name (literally the only thing he has done since the sperm donation).

I should point out that each of her kids has different fathers and she wasn't/isn't married to any of them.

Baby girl #1 - Puerto Rican father, normalish first and middle names, hispanic last name.

Baby girl #2 - Caucasian father. This was in question up until the birth since there were multiple suspects, one was released from custody after the baby didn't come out dark enough. She also has a stupid first name, her grandmother's middle name, and the mother's last name. Dad is not in the picture at all, not even on the birth certificate given the uncertainty.

Baby boy - will have a first name after a town in Jamaica, the father's middle name (which oddly enough is hispanic even though he is a non-hispanic black) and the father's last name.

So for those keeping score that's three fathers, three ethnicities, and three last names. These kids are screwed.

King of the Dairy Queen said:

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vmiaptetr said:

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Mars Millenium Falcon Starcruiser.

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i would throw this resume in garbage at warp speed

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How many parsecs?

Had a cousin who briefly married a woman who had seven kids by six fathers prior to marrying my cousin.

It did not last, but one of her kids stayed with my cousin after the divorce and was adopted into our family when she turned eighteen.

vmiaptetr said:

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Had a buddy in the Navy whose parents were hippies. They had common Jon and Jane Doe names, and they had their last name changed to Starcruiser. My buddy's name….

Mars Millenium Falcon Starcruiser.

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Client I had at a chemical manufacturer on the coast was pretty close to me in age. And her sister too.

They both had midlife crisis events around the same time.

The client decided to have an affair with a higher-up. They both ended up divorced and fired by the company where they worked.

The sister got divorced, transitioned her once lovely mane of hair into dreadlocks, colored those dreads, pierced a bunch of stuff, and changed her name to Jupiter Jones.

Oh, and decided that eating and drinking healthy stuff was not a good plan. Just completely let herself go.

Can they at least get married so we can have photos from the reception?

maroon barchetta said:

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Can they at least get married so we can have photos from the reception?

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She was lamenting recently on social media that she just doesn't think anyone is going to marry her.

Well, aside from the fact she is completely bat crap crazy and is about to have a third kid by a third father in less than 5 years, who wouldn't want to marry her? right? I think she is really expecting the fairy tale wedding some day. If you recall, she is also the same one that 8 or 10 years ago completely fabricated an imaginary fiance to cover up the relationship she was having with another woman at the time, even though they were "just roommates"

Tree Hugger said:

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maroon barchetta said:

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Can they at least get married so we can have photos from the reception?

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She was lamenting recently on social media that she just doesn't think anyone is going to marry her.

Well, aside from the fact she is completely bat crap crazy and is about to have a third kid by a third father in less than 5 years, who wouldn't want to marry her? right? I think she is really expecting the fairy tale wedding some day. If you recall, she is also the same one that 8 or 10 years ago completely fabricated an imaginary fiance to cover up the relationship she was having with another woman at the time, even though they were "just roommates"

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Is that the fianc that lived in Alaska? Same cousin?

Was that the one that couldn't enter the country because he was in Alaska without a passport?

Yep, he was never able to return from Alaska since he lost his passport and then sadly died of brain cancer. Luckily he was a able to donate a kidney to his sister and another to his mother before he got his cancer diagnosis.

Tree Hugger said:

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One of my moron cousins is about to have her third kid. If it was a girl she wanted to name it Genesis, not sure if she was planning on replacing the vowels with unnecessary Ys. It turns out it will a boy and the baby daddy stepped in and demanded he pick the name (literally the only thing he has done since the sperm donation).

I should point out that each of her kids has different fathers and she wasn't/isn't married to any of them.

Baby girl #1 - Puerto Rican father, normalish first and middle names, hispanic last name.

Baby girl #2 - Caucasian father. This was in question up until the birth since there were multiple suspects, one was released from custody after the baby didn't come out dark enough. She also has a stupid first name, her grandmother's middle name, and the mother's last name. Dad is not in the picture at all, not even on the birth certificate given the uncertainty.

Baby boy - will have a first name after a town in Jamaica, the father's middle name (which oddly enough is hispanic even though he is a non-hispanic black) and the father's last name.

So for those keeping score that's three fathers, three ethnicities, and three last names. These kids are screwed.

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Before birth: Genesis.

Post birth: Exodus.

IIIHorn said:

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Tree Hugger said:

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One of my moron cousins is about to have her third kid. If it was a girl she wanted to name it Genesis, not sure if she was planning on replacing the vowels with unnecessary Ys. It turns out it will a boy and the baby daddy stepped in and demanded he pick the name (literally the only thing he has done since the sperm donation).

I should point out that each of her kids has different fathers and she wasn't/isn't married to any of them.

Baby girl #1 - Puerto Rican father, normalish first and middle names, hispanic last name.

Baby girl #2 - Caucasian father. This was in question up until the birth since there were multiple suspects, one was released from custody after the baby didn't come out dark enough. She also has a stupid first name, her grandmother's middle name, and the mother's last name. Dad is not in the picture at all, not even on the birth certificate given the uncertainty.

Baby boy - will have a first name after a town in Jamaica, the father's middle name (which oddly enough is hispanic even though he is a non-hispanic black) and the father's last name.

So for those keeping score that's three fathers, three ethnicities, and three last names. These kids are screwed.

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Before birth: Gyn'sys

Post birth: Exodus.

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FIFY

dabo man said:

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In before Orangejello and Lemonjello.

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That's PETER Lemonjello to you sir.

CharleyKerfeld said:

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When my kid was in the NICU years ago, there was a boy baby in the next row over named Jihad. I'm sure that's gone over great in the public school system.

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His life's going to be a struggle

Smeghead4761 said:

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...I still recall taking a good while to process a grocery store clerk's 'Krystle' name tag...

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you could not understand Krystle?

vmiaptetr said:

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Had a buddy in the Navy whose parents were hippies. They had common Jon and Jane Doe names, and they had their last name changed to Starcruiser. My buddy's name….

Mars Millenium Falcon Starcruiser.

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He was born in the wrong generation. He'd have been perfect for the Space Force.

vmiaptetr said:

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Had a buddy in the Navy whose parents were hippies. They had common Jon and Jane Doe names, and they had their last name changed to Starcruiser. My buddy's name….

Mars Millenium Falcon Starcruiser.

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ibtMoonUnitOneZappa