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John Mulaney in rehab for coke and booze

8,614 Views | 54 Replies | Last: 4 yr ago by Tibbers
CW Griswold
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7:48p, 12/21/20
https://amp.tmz.com/2020/12/21/john-mulaney-enters-rehab-treat-cocaine-alcohol-abuse/

He must have gone out for the night with some money, blacked out, and woke up with more money. That means that he earned money. That means that he traded goods and/or services.

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AustinAg2K
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7:53p, 12/21/20
Selfish take: This should make another great standup special once he gets out.

Seriously, though, I hope he gets it together and can stay sober.
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bearamedic99
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5:41a, 12/22/20
AG
I was surprised to learn he is 38 (per the article). He looks younger.
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CW Griswold
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In reply to bearamedic99 • 7:19a, 12/22/20
bearamedic99 said:
I was surprised to learn he is 38 (per the article). He looks younger.


I was hoping, uh, by now that I'd look a bit older, but it didn't happen. I don't look older I just look worse, I think. Honestly, when I'm walking down the street no one's ever like, "Hey, look at that man!" I think they're just like, "Whoa! That tall child looks terrible! Get some rest, tall child! You can't keep burning the candle at both ends!
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hunter2012
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7:54a, 12/22/20
AG
Quote:
So the party was going great.
I'm standing in the basement and I'm holding a red cup,
you've seen movies,
and I'm standing there, and I'm holding a red cup
and I'm starting to black out.
And I guess someone said like "something, something police"
and in a brilliant moment of word association,
I yelled "f*** da police!"
and everyone else joined in.
A hundred drunk white children yelling "f*** da police"
with the confidence of guys who have like already been to jail and aren't afraid of it anymore.
You know that like "I served my nickle, you come and take me" confidence,
but white children.
The reason someone had said "something, something police" was because the police were there.
So a Chicago police officer walked down the stairs, and got to the bottom of the basement
and looked out over a sea of drunk toddlers yelling "f*** da police" in his face,
and he was almost impressed
he was like "wow".
And then he leaned into his walkie-talkie and went "get the paddy wagon".
And my friend John, who is now a father-this man now has a baby,
he grabbed a 40, smashed it on the ground, and yelled "scatter!"
And everyone ran in a different direction,
we all ran in different directions.
It was like that scene in Rataouille when the humans come in the kitchen and all the rats go in different ways,
we all ran in different directions.
I ran into the laundry room, and I jumped on the washing machine, and I crawled out through a window into the backyard
and now I'm running through the backyard and there's this big chain-linked fence
and I thought "I've never climbed a fence that high before"
and then I woke up at home.

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62strat
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10:19a, 12/22/20
AG
i thought this was about the old man in fraiser.. I was dang, dude still likes to party, even in death.
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AustinAg2K
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In reply to bearamedic99 • 10:45a, 12/22/20
bearamedic99 said:
I was surprised to learn he is 38 (per the article). He looks younger.


That's because he's an Asian American Woman.
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MookieBlaylock
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10:47a, 12/22/20
AG
Who is this person?
2021 death watch added
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John Francis Donaghy
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In reply to MookieBlaylock • 2:05p, 12/22/20
MookieBlaylock said:
Who is this person?
2021 death watch added


Very talented comedian and comedic writer. Easily one of the best in the business today.
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NoahAg
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2:13p, 12/22/20
"Want to make some money? Try mixing ambien and daiquiris."
"Does that work?"
"It doesn't not work."

(something like that)

Seriously, I hope he gets better. Dude tells hilarious stories.
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bearamedic99
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6:56p, 12/22/20
AG
I love his bit from the Salt and Pepper Diner about the jukebox
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bearamedic99
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6:56p, 12/22/20
AG
And most of his appearances on SNL
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Stupid Sexy Flanders
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In reply to bearamedic99 • 7:12p, 12/22/20
bearamedic99 said:
I love his bit from the Salt and Pepper Diner about the jukebox


BWAAAAAAAAAAA, what's new *****cat...
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expresswrittenconsent
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7:19p, 12/22/20
Hopefully this is not a byproduct of too much tuna.
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bearamedic99
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8:42a, 9/8/21
AG
Now he is dating Olivia Munn and she is pregnant with his kid.
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PatAg
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9:04a, 9/8/21
AG
Being extremely funny is attractive, who knew.
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Brian Earl Spilner
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9:45a, 9/8/21
AG
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mic suede
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10:02a, 9/8/21
His final LN/Seth appearance a day or 2 before going to rehab was fairly manic and rambling.
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Mayor West
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In reply to bearamedic99 • 10:39a, 9/8/21
AG
bearamedic99 said:
Now he is dating Olivia Munn and she is pregnant with his kid.

Had no idea he was straight
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C1NRB
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In reply to hunter2012 • 10:58a, 9/8/21
AG
You left out one of the lines from that particular story that gets quoted frequently around my house:
"I said, 'No'. You know, like a liar."
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LoudestWHOOP!
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In reply to John Francis Donaghy • 11:03a, 9/8/21
AG
John Francis Donaghy said:
MookieBlaylock said:
Who is this person?
2021 death watch added


Very talented comedian and comedic writer. Easily one of the best in the business today.
I will go with "WAS" for now, because his early stuff was pure gold, but then apparently what is in the "OP" happened.
Interesting that about the time his 1st marriage happened he started slipping ... with me.
I hope JM comes back better than ever.
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Fat Bib Fortuna
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In reply to bearamedic99 • 12:12p, 9/8/21
bearamedic99 said:
I was surprised to learn he is 38 (per the article). He looks younger.
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BadMoonRisin
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1:51p, 9/8/21
AG
Dang I missed this news. I am a big JM fan.

I just watched his interview with Seth Meyers and it's eerie how dead and quiet it is when he is introduced or says a joke. Super awkward
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BadMoonRisin
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2:45p, 9/8/21
AG
Holy hell. I just watched his appearance on Seth meyers in November (the one that he alludes he didn't remember doing) and could only make it 2 minutes in. Super cringey. I guess that was about 3 or 4 weeks before the intervention that he mentioned.

A casual observer might just think that he's just not very funny, but to anyone that has seen his comedy and is aware of how talented of a performer and writer he is its really obvious he's on something.

Glad he cleaned up.
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Saxsoon
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In reply to Mayor West • 3:05p, 9/8/21
AG
Mayor West said:
bearamedic99 said:
Now he is dating Olivia Munn and she is pregnant with his kid.

Had no idea he was straight


And with Olivia no less. Lucky *******
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Ag 11
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4:27p, 9/8/21
AG
He's hilarious. I quote his stand ups & stories all the time. My wife and I love the Mick Jagger one and we'll say "NOT FUNNY" to each other sometimes
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Bones08
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In reply to Mayor West • 6:36p, 9/8/21
AG
Mayor West said:
bearamedic99 said:
Now he is dating Olivia Munn and she is pregnant with his kid.

Had no idea he was straight
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Counterpoint
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In reply to BadMoonRisin • 5:34a, 9/9/21
AG
BadMoonRisin said:
Dang I missed this news. I am a big JM fan.

I just watched his interview with Seth Meyers and it's eerie how dead and quiet it is when he is introduced or says a joke. Super awkward
There's no audience!
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double aught
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In reply to Ag 11 • 10:24a, 9/9/21
AG
Ag 11 said:
He's hilarious. I quote his stand ups & stories all the time. My wife and I love the Mick Jagger one and we'll say "NOT FUNNY" to each other sometimes
Not funny!

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TCTTS
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In reply to Brian Earl Spilner • 4:16p, 9/9/21
AG
Brian Earl Spilner said:


Such a great interview. And just FYI, this is from two nights ago, for anyone thinking it was his cringey appearance from a while back.
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PDEMDHC
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In reply to Saxsoon • 5:09p, 9/9/21
AG
Saxsoon said:
Mayor West said:
bearamedic99 said:
Now he is dating Olivia Munn and she is pregnant with his kid.

Had no idea he was straight


And with Olivia no less. Lucky *******
He's getting Aaron Rodgers sloppy seconds. Atta boy.
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Jugstore Cowboy
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In reply to mic suede • 6:06p, 9/9/21
AG
mic suede said:
His final LN/Seth appearance a day or 2 before going to rehab was fairly manic and rambling.
When was that? I found one from November 2020, but it looked like typical Mulaney. But I don't think the youtube version was his whole appearance, just part of the couch segment.
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mic suede
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6:39p, 9/9/21
I don't remember the date, sorry, but its referenced (and briefly shown) in the SM appearance from Tuesday night.
(On the night in question) Mulaney was wearing an overcoat that Julien Casablanca of the Strokes had worn on SNL and then given to Mulaney after their show. Mulaney had briefly "joined" SM as a writer at this point, and would come out for random appearances from time to time. The one that was kind of "off the rails" he just starts talking about the royal family for 15 minutes with no real point, payoff, or punchline. At the time it seemed a little weird, but its a 1230am 4x per week Late Nite show so you expect some misses.
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Sea Speed
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In reply to PDEMDHC • 6:41p, 9/9/21
AG
I saw this the other day and was hoping it was just a bad photo amd she didn't ruin her face that terribly.
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Jugstore Cowboy
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In reply to mic suede • 6:44p, 9/9/21
AG
mic suede said:
I don't remember the date, sorry, but its referenced (and briefly shown) in the SM appearance from Tuesday night.
(On the night in question) Mulaney was wearing an overcoat that Julien Casablanca of the Strokes had worn on SNL and then given to Mulaney after their show. Mulaney had briefly "joined" SM as a writer at this point, and would come out for random appearances from time to time. The one that was kind of "off the rails" he just starts talking about the royal family for 15 minutes with no real point, payoff, or punchline. At the time it seemed a little weird, but its a 1230am 4x per week Late Nite show so you expect some misses.
Ok, that's the show I found - wearing the trench coat, but the video only had his couch visit, not his stand up segment. I thought that portion at least looked like regular Mulaney, but maybe a little more sedated.

I'm not always a great judge of when people are drunk or high though.
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