My dream speech for President Whitmore in ID4 Part 2, which I originally posted here back in 2015.
I hope Pullman gets to make another speech.
"Good morning ... Can't believe I'm having to do this again ... But remember those aliens from 1996? They're back. And yeah, you're probably wondering, hey weren't you president 20 years ago? Why do we care what you have to say? Well because I PERSONALLY LED THE ATTACK ON THE ALIENS EVEN THOUGH I WAS PRESIDENT AT THE TIME!
And I figured, hey I survived that, my wife died, did I just become the most eligible bachelor in the solar system? Yes. The short answer is yes. Now, 95% of the world's population got wiped out, so that kind of diminished my dating pool; and let's face it, with power and running water knocked out for those first few years, there weren't exactly a lot of selection, but I bided my time. I started by banging every female at Area 51 - don't worry that's been declassified for 15 years.
Remember the scientist guy who figured out the code and gave the alien ship a cold? He used to totally hate on me cuz he thought I was porking his ex-wife. Spoiler alert: I was. And I did again after I saved Planet Earth, because at the end of the day, I'm the president, and he was some nerd working for the cable company. And here's another newsflash - Captain Hiller, the other guy in the spaceship? Totally hooked up with his wife too. Yep, she was a stripper, but Thomas J. Whitmore ain't judging a sista, except when it comes to how good a breakfast she makes.
Anyway, I'm sort of getting off topic here. We spent the last 20 years retrofitting our technology to fight the aliens if they ever came back. We had everyone working on it - Data, the Baldwin who isn't related to the other Baldwins, the whole nine yards. And in 20 years, we managed to get their technology on to 3 planes, a helicopter, a speed boat and a Segue. Which, considering the state of government bureaucracy, is pretty amazing.
Anyways, in less than an hour, you're going to be taking part of the greatest counter-counter-counter attack in the history of mankind ... Mankind, definitely not in the history of whatever these things we're fighting are called - because based on the size of their army, they've been fighting battles like this every weekend for the last 5 billion years, and winning them.
Anyway, don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, but I'm taking one of the 3 planes for myself. That means you guys can arm wrestle for the other 2 and the chopper. Probably fit 10 of you in the speed boat, although they're in spaceships, so not really sure what the advantage there will be. And of course, there's the segue. No real rush for that one.
Perhaps it's fitting that today is June 24, because according to the Internet, Peter Weller was born on this day in 1947. Pete, I don't know if you're alive out there, but I'm guessing this battle is going to go a lot like the time in Robocop when Clarence Boddicker and his goons found you alone in the warehouse and shot you with so many bullet holes that you looked like the edge of a sheet of notebook paper. Anyway, Whitmore out."