quote:-MKF
Wow, I'm glad people had a similar reaction from last night.
I've been out at the memorial every year since it was dedicated, but tonight was the first time that it felt generally forced and some things wholely inappropriate.
Forgive me for not frequenting this board much, and I don't know if this is going to come off as a trollish comment, but I'd like to echo what was mentioned about "sacrifice" speeches concerning '99. The fall of the stack was an accident, and the deaths of twelve Aggies are all individually tragic and collectively overwhelming in the scope of Bonfire as an identity to Aggies. But I don't think those deaths were sacrifices. A sacrifice is a willing and voluntary surrender of one's interests for the sake of a cause or ideal. It would be a sacrifice if they would have known the fate of themselves and of Bonfire beforehand, and were acting to resolve the structural deficiencies of the stack - then it collapsed.
Of course, the reports of Tim Kerlee's actions represent selfless sacrifice in his concerns for those in danger above his own.
But honestly I had no clue who the emotional guys at the centerpole plaque were. I had assumed that they were family members or representatives for the families who had lost their students. If they are the off-campus bonfire leadership, thinking now about what I saw this morning somewhat cheapens the experience - and that makes me very sad.
I don't understand why this had to become a demonstration. I went to pay honor to those 12 and their families. I went to remember. I think we all stood out there because we're passionate about being Aggies, and a large part of that is holding pure reverence for those who have come before us. And we believe that there's something greater.
But sadly that's not how I felt as I left. I wish the memorial would have been about remembering our fallen friends and family members while strengthening our faith and love for the elements of our lives which we cannot govern. I want everyone to feel a conviction of why they love Texas A&M, and why it is important to uphold the ideals of Aggie life - but I don't want this to come at the expense of dishonoring 11/18/99.
quote:-LWInk
My son lost two friends that day. We mourned with their families. And we attended the memorials. And I still get teary eyed when I hear the Band or sing the Spirit. We are a family of 18 Aggies since 1924.
I don't want this to sound callous or inappropriate but I recall watching a program a few years back about how some young people today are searching for rituals. The moderator felt that our society has taken away from some of the usual solemn rituals that hold families together: Baccalaureate services, graduation ceremonies, family holidays and dinners are a few that in some cases have become less important. Older style traditions such as May poles, "secret" society initiations, etc. have almost disappeared. This program talked about how young people need some form of organized ritual in their lives. I'm not sure why this is. It was an interesting thought.
Maybe the young men who "acted out" were searching for some purpose in their own lives and this memorial was a reminder to them of ow important it is to take life seriously lest your life have no meaning.
I can't speak for them. But I feel young people are not so willing to accept tragedy. The older we get, the more tragedies we witness, the more we expect them to occur.
Dylan Thomas expressed it best in his poem:
Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
-- Dylan Thomas
quote:-Scottsdad
Dear Aggies
Scott's Mom and I were at centerpole on the 18th and continue to be overwhelmed by the response and support of the Aggie family. We attend every year to remember Scott, the Bonfire traditon he belived in and the fun and strength he drew from Bonfire, the Corp and the University. The young men mentioned in this thread are not members of any of the families that were present. We have learned that each person reacts and mourns in his own way and respect their feelings. We were also aware that the young men had consumed a fair amount of adult beverages. We are confident that the Aggie community will decide as to the appropriateness of their actions. I cannot speak for all of the families, however those that I know feel that our children did not sacrfice themselves for the tradition. Their sacrifices were of there time and efforts while building Bonfire and they would not have knowingly placed themselves in peril. The type of sacrfice mention that evening should be reserved for our troops and first reponders. The respect shown to us every Nov. 18th by the participation of so many members of the Aggie family continues to amaze us. I cannot tell you the lift it gives us when the Aggie War Hymn echos from the hill surrounding the memorial. Now that, Scott would have loved.We will continue to attend until the wheels fall off of the wheel chair or the until the nurses at the retirement center tie us to the bed. Don't be to hard on the four young men, I believe they felt they were doing the right thing.
quote:Timsparents
We second everything the West's said! Our kids loved Aggieland and all it and it's traditions stand for. None of them would have been out there if they thought they might die. They were all too smart to risk such a thing. Grief is a very personal thing and large amounts of alcohol do strange things to our inhibitions. If any of you know any of the four young men personally I would love the chance to talk to them.
Gig'Em & God Bless
quote:-Mirandasdad
Each year many Aggies gather together at the Bonfire Memorial to remember and honor our children in an impromptu gathering. The families of the twelve are always honored by the presence of so many who come to join us to remember and honor our beloved children. This has always been a very special time to remember and honor the twelve we lost and all those injured both physically and emotionally by the 1999 Bonfire collapse. Anyone that has attended this gathering has always been extremely respectful. The families and friends of the twelve lost have in the past gathered at the individual portals until about 2:42 a.m. At that time the families then join together at the centerpole marker and exchange greetings with each other. Everyone in attendance is then asked by the families to come and join the families at centerpole for a time of prayer and reflection. The poem We Remember Them is read, Amazing Grace and The Spirit are sung, and a roll call for the twelve is held. Family and friends answer “Here” for our twelve beloved Aggies.
This year there were four young men that joined the families at the centerpole marker. We want to let everyone know that to our knowledge these four young men did not represent any of the families. The comments made by these four young men were their own opinions and do not reflect the feelings of any of the families that were in attendance that night. One particular comment that was made several times inferred that the twelve had sacrificed their lives for Bonfire. This could not be further from the truth. We do not believe that there is one family that feels that their child willing gave their life that night. The Bonfire collapse was a tragic accident that took the lives of twelve individuals and injured many other Aggies physically and emotionally. Our children were all dedicated Aggies and believed in building Bonfire or they wouldn’t have been at stack that night. But please be clear in understanding that they would never have willingly died for the Bonfire tradition. Our children loved life and had hopes and dreams just as like any other Aggie working on Bonfire that fateful night. We too agree with the West and Kerlees, that our fine men and women in our military and the 1st Responders here in this great nation are the ones that sacrifice for our country and deserve honor and recognition for their sacrifice.
The emotional outburst of the four young men was not expected by the families or anyone else. We as family members were all in shock at what was happening. We do not think the young men intended to be disrespectful or disruptive. We do believe they used poor judgment in picking a place to vocalize their feelings and make the comments they were making. Our family did leave the Bonfire Memorial early because of the disruption and drama caused by these four young men. This was not the kind of experience or memories that we wanted our grandchildren to remember about the time we spent at the Bonfire Memorial on November 18, 2007.
There is nothing finer than returning to the best campus in America and being able to see firsthand the Aggie Spirit working through each of you. We have always enjoyed returning to campus because it is like therapy for all of us. There is no other student body that cares for each other like Aggies. We love you all and again we so appreciate those who have been so cordial and respectful to the families for the past eight years.
God Bless and Gig’em Ags!
Ken & Carolyn Adams
Hopefully that straightens things out and gets down to what really happened and what's really important.