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When you tell a Christian God isn't real, how do they respond? Do they say you're a bigot that hates them, or do they attempt to engage in an intellectual battle to change your mind?
I would not tell a Christian that there is no God. I would tell them that I don't believe in a God. The first reason for this is that its a more accurate description of what I believe. Second, I think its too easy to come off as sounding pompous or overly self-assured when someone states beliefs as though they are simple facts. If I wish to engage in a discussion with someone on this topic, what level of civility and meaningful discussion should I expect if I start from a place of "I'm definitely 100% right and you are definitely 100% wrong." If my attitude is one that touts my own infallible judgement, then I'm not fostering a discussing, I'm giving a lecture.
So, if I were to come into a discussion about religion with a Christian and I began with "There is no God, there is zero evidence, your a moron for thinking there is a God, all you are doing is wasting your life and chasing false and dangerous ideas, your values are a danger on society and they shouldn't let you have children." Then, yes, I would expect the Christian to think I have attacked them personally.
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When a Christian tells you you're wrong for being an atheist, do you feel personally attacked, or do you engage them in an intellectual exercise to get to the truth?
Depends on their attitude. If a Christian is genuinely interested in what I believe, then I am always happy to engage. If the Christian wishes to 'own the atheist' in a debate to make me feel lesser, then I'm going to brush them off and move on with my life.
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If I tell a Hindu that they need to follow Jesus, a conversation around the merits of both religions comes next.
If a Hindu tells a Christian that Jesus was not God, most (most) Christians will recognize this as an attack on God, not themselves, and attempt to convert them.
Open discussion about the merits of different values, philosophies, and religions is always good. At a minimum, it is useful for each party to understand the other. But in my opinion, the real value of these exchanges occur when each party makes serious effort to consider opposing ideas. And to do this, requires participants to each consider the possibility of their ideology being false. And this is where I think most religious people stumble. If one party is not willing to consider the possibility that their beliefs are wrong, then they aren't discussing - they are lecturing. And the best the other party can do is use that lecture to understand what the first person believes. But, its always going to be, at best, a one sided exchange.
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If one were to tell an LGBTQ person that they aren't born that way…. Totally different. There is no intellectual discourse after that. There is no scientific debate. There is no agreeing to disagree. It is completely feelings based from that point forward. Most of what I've typed here is taken as bigotry from the jump.
I don't think I've accused you of bigotry. . . . . Once again, I think its all in the delivery. When someone takes the position "LGBTQ people are not born that way, its a learned behavior, I know this for a fact, and my infallible grasp of the will of God supports all of this.", then no room has been left for disagreement. We can't have a discussion at this point. Only a lecture. You have to be open to the other side. I think you need to be open to the testimony of millions of LGBTQ persons who overwhelmingly describe it otherwise. That doesn't mean you have to agree with them. But if their experience can be discarded out of hand because it does not reinforce your presuppositions about the nature of sex and gender, then there is no where to go. What kind of discussion options are we left with? Taking this stance isn't automatically bigotry, but bigotry is easier when you can simply discount millions of people as simply wrong because 'my belief says so'.
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I know you disagree with which category they fall into, which is why I think you see it the way you do. You see Hindus as getting a pass, where we would see them as someone we can discourse with. You see LGBTQ people as being singled out, where we find a topic that is utterly off limits for discussion.
If Christian evangelical politicians were to engage in a culture war which opposed Hindu marriage, opposed Hindus from adopting children, complained about Hindu symbolism in public, banned books from libraries with Hindu characters, and described their value system in terms of dumpster fires, perversion, and poisonous, then lets see how quickly that discourse between American Christians and Hindus turns sour. I feel that the reason that Christians generally do not support these measures against Hindus is that there is some level of mutual respect. While you do not necessarily need to respect their religion, there is at least a respect toward their sincerity and good intentions.
Having a civil discussion with someone who is gay or trans is not difficult. The problem is that if all you care about is convincing them you are right and converting them, then you aren't listening to them. You are lecturing at them. And people don't like that.