symptoms of depression

2,839 Views | 36 Replies | Last: 7 days ago by Aggie Therapist
cvenag03
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Anyone here diagnosed with depression? Feel I resemble strong signs of it but have not been officially diagnosed with anything. Anxiety , insecurity, self deprivation, anger, and grief. I don't enjoy much of anything anymore. Terrified to try new things or do anything apart from go to class. Part of me thinks I'm just a lazy wuss. I feel like people that have shown they love me secretly hate me or think I'm a freak.

I have never hurt myself or planned to. I don't think I ever will, but I have had the feeling of just not wanting to be around anymore. Though some days are fine and I feel as though I'm somehow faking it on the bad days.

I was raised Baptist by two loving and believing parents. I am a student and attend a church regularly but am unsure of my salivation. I know I need to get help but am not sure how to pursue it. I know my parents are available but it's just so difficult to talk about with them.

I don't know why I am posting this. I guess it helps to talk about it. If anyone has had similar experiences maybe it would help you to know you're not alone.

Thanks.

Tldr: help with grief, symptoms of depression

Edit: thank you all so much for your kind words and prayers. It's been encouraging to hear them and know I am not alone.
gordo97
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First of all, I am so sorry you are going through this. And I do believe that writing down your thoughts like this can be helpful and healing because it helps you to express the complexity of what you are going through.

One thing we are promised in Christ Jesus is peace. Do you have any pastors or elders at your church with whom you could share all this and ask them about peace and rest that we are promised in Christ Jesus?
gordo97
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Also seeing a licensed mental health professional would be important as well for a proper diagnosis of the issues you are dealing with.
TeddyAg0422
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This can be a hard society to live in as a follower of Christ. I know you said it's hard to talk to your parents about this, but I seriously cannot recommend it enough. Anyone you feel you can talk to about this (e.g. parents, grandparents, siblings, friends) please do. You are not alone. Many people including myself have feelings of hopelessness sometimes. Please please please PM me if you want to talk further. You will be in my prayers.
kurt vonnegut
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This can be a hard society for anyone to live in. I'm glad that you do speak about it and I hope its a comfort to know that you are certainly not alone in how you feel. There is a stigma about therapy and depression and anxiety and medications that turns a lot of people away from these options. I'm certainly not qualified to make any recommendations in a professional capacity, but, I think many of us are afraid of leaning on our families, friends, churches, therapists and wherever we get support when we need it. Doing so does not make us weak or lazy.
Martin Q. Blank
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Yes, those are symptoms of depression. How long have you been feeling them? They may be instigated by stress if there have been recent changes in your life or just the stress of being a student. I'm sure the university has counselors available.
Zobel
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i'm truly sorry you're struggling with this. i would encourage you to see this as a struggle as real and as important as struggling with any of the other spiritual passions.

we get one of the earliest forms of what would become the seven deadly sins from the writings of an eastern monk named John Cassian. interestingly enough he actually talks about eight passions, not seven. it is important to say it is not a sin to feel this (which is how the eight passions became the seven deadly sins) but to see that the ultimate ends are not life and peace, but bad things for you.

in his writing he lists the eight struggles as:

- gluttony, which is to him the foundation of self-control and also a key part of keeping our minds clear
- unchastity, not only of the body but also of the mind
- greed, which has three parts - trying to gain more goods, taking back goods you have given to God, and an unhealthy attachment to worldly things through lack of faith
- anger, which clouds our judgement and blinds us and makes us hypocrites
- dejection, or apathy, which fills the soul with bitterness and listlessness, prevents us from good works, darkens the heart, keeps us from praying gladly or reading the scriptures for profit
- listlessness, which works hand in hand with dejection, and causes a person to be lazy and distracted
- pride, or hubris, which is the most dangerous because while the others overcome the virtue opposed, pride attacks the whole

the modern list combined dejection or despondency with sloth, and i think when that happened we really lost some of the wisdom of these struggles when it comes to human psychology. amazingly St John described this dejection or apathy as the most difficult of all the passions!

the modern idea to split the person into boxes and make our minds into a kind of chemical computer seems to break the christian whole down into parts that don't really function together. i'm not saying there's no place for medication, but i'm saying there should be an understanding that this, like any and all struggles we have, is a part of our spiritual lives.

which is great news! because that means there is medicine available for us - the same thing that helps us with all the others: prayer, fasting, and charitable work (giving to the poor, helping others). and also the other good things the life in Christ shows us: rejoicing, feasting, and fellowship with others.

i saw someone quip that the only 'cure' for depression is getting out of the house at every chance you get whether your want to or not. i think there is some real value there, but the best approach is all of the above. but start with prayer, armed with the understanding that this is something that is your adversary, and Christ Jesus is your ally, along with all the saints, and angels, and your brothers. armed with that, absolutely look for someone who can offer you advice and help, whether that is your pastor, your dad, a therapist, a wise friend, or even a monastic (i know this probably sounds weird to you, but there is a monastery in san marcros that has some amazing people who are incredibly wise). don't try to white knuckle it.
dermdoc
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cvenag03 said:

Anyone here diagnosed with depression? Feel I resemble strong signs of it but have not been officially diagnosed with anything. Anxiety , insecurity, self deprivation, anger, and grief. I don't enjoy much of anything anymore. Terrified to try new things or do anything apart from go to class. Part of me thinks I'm just a lazy wuss. I feel like people that have shown they love me secretly hate me or think I'm a freak.

I have never hurt myself or planned to. I don't think I ever will, but I have had the feeling of just not wanting to be around anymore. Though some days are fine and I feel as though I'm somehow faking it on the bad days.

I was raised Baptist by two loving and believing parents. I am a student and attend a church regularly but am unsure of my salivation. I know I need to get help but am not sure how to pursue it. I know my parents are available but it's just so difficult to talk about with them.

I don't know why I am posting this. I guess it helps to talk about it. If anyone has had similar experiences maybe it would help you to know you're not alone.

Thanks.

Tldr: help with grief, symptoms of depression


Been there, done that. Lots of good advice on here. I think talking to your pastor(s), parents, and trusted friends are great ideas. And talking to a doc or counselor as suggested above can be helpful. The main thing is to realize that you are not alone in these feelings.

And joy and peace will come. God takes us through the valleys. He does not leave us there.

And it is not a sin to step away from the church for awhile if you need to.

Please come back here as often as you want to and talk with us.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
Scoopen Skwert
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Our preacher spoke about David and Jonathan's friendship this past Sunday. One of the things he mentioned is that 1 in 10 men have someone in their life they can talk to about the truly important matters in life. We are meant to be in family and community. My Mother, rest her soul, always said "no single person is an island." It's a lesson I've had to learn myself. We were never meant to live this life on our own. We are a true family. I say that to first commend you for reaching out. I also suggest you not do what I did for way too long. That is try and figure it out by myself. Heck I had every opportunity given to me free to address ptsd, anxiety and depression but was too stubborn for too long.

I now have a church that I love and a group of men of faith who I surround myself with. The dawn is upon me again. We can get stuck in our roles as husband, father, leader, or employee and forget about ourselves.

As others have mentioned, please be open to counseling and continue in your walk with Christ.

I don't know a whole bunch of stuff but I do know that WE (that includes you and me) are all profoundly loved by an amazing Living God. We are the apple of his eye. He yearns for us in such a way we cannot comprehend.

May God bless you and protect you. We all go through a "dark night of the soul" but we are never alone. We are heirs to the kingdom. We are loved and protected by The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit.
dermdoc
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Scoopen Skwert said:

Our preacher spoke about David and Jonathan's friendship this past Sunday. One of the things he mentioned is that 1 in 10 men have someone in their life they can talk to about the truly important matters in life. We are meant to be in family and community. My Mother, rest her soul, always said "no single person is an island." It's a lesson I've had to learn myself. We were never meant to live this life on our own. We are a true family. I say that to first commend you for reaching out. I also suggest you not do what I did for way too long. That is try and figure it out by myself. Heck I had every opportunity given to me free to address ptsd, anxiety and depression but was too stubborn for too long.

I now have a church that I love and a group of men of faith who I surround myself with. The dawn is upon me again. We can get stuck in our roles as husband, father, leader, or employee and forget about ourselves.

As others have mentioned, please be open to counseling and continue in your walk with Christ.

I don't know a whole bunch of stuff but I do know that WE (that includes you and me) are all profoundly loved by an amazing Living God. We are the apple of his eye. He yearns for us in such a way we cannot comprehend.

May God bless you and protect you. We all go through a "dark night of the soul" but we are never alone. We are heirs to the kingdom. We are loved and protected by The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit.


Great post. We had the same sermon at Brazos Fellowship this past Sunday.
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Wyoming Aggie
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I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 disorder at age 30 (I'm 41 now). I've been through it to say the least, especially when I was undiagnosed. I've had many manic episodes where I destroyed my life and depression is part of it.

Microdosing mushrooms and THC literally CHANGED MY LIFE. That's all I'm going to say.
BartInLA
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When I taught I came up with the acronym CASED PIGS
for a major depressive episode (which is a requirement of clinical depression or major depressive disorder). You have to have at least five of nine symptoms most of the day for most days for two weeks.
Concentration problems, appetite change, sleeping issues, low energy, thoughts of death or suicide, psycho motor agitation, or ******ati (it censors) (basically you fidget a lot or you're very slow moving), interest level goes down, excessive, or inappropriate guilt, and sadness.
25% of people have this diagnosis at one point in their lifetime and it is definitely treatable. I would recommend going to someone who is a licensed mental health professional FIRST. Soon. Avoid unnecessary pain. They can do a clinical interview along with giving you an assessment such as the Beck Depression Inventory. I'll pray for you.

Some people can give very bad advice such as saying to just pull yourself up or just get over it. I can't ethically diagnose or treat you on the thread, but the first thing they always want to rule out are substances and medical conditions. Sometimes even a side effect of an over-the-counter medication can cause depressive symptoms and I would always recommend doing a blood screening for thyroid levels etc…
FIDO95
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Lots of great advice here. Agree 100% with Scoopen; Great post. A few things to add.

If you are suffering with thoughts of self-harm, seek medical attention immediately. There are hotlines and online resources available. Don't attempt to wrestle with that demon when you are already feeling down. Don't be ashamed to take an SSRI for a short period of time to help get out of that rut.

Therapy helps identify the thought patterns you have that lead your overall mood. The biggest problem I have found is finding a competent therapist. Most are horrible, never seem to stay in the same place/practice, and insurance coverage to get in with one is spotty at best. The best therapists are often "cash pay" only as their expertise creates a demand that can sustain that practice. The exercises for helping anxiety and depression are often centered around the process of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). There are lots of workbooks on Amazon you can purchase and work through at home. The workbooks are not a one-size-fits-all. You have to find the one the best suits you and your situation. Get a couple of different ones and try them out while you are waiting for or in lieu of seeing a therapist.

Now that my "doctor" part is done, let me add my Christian part. Prayer works but you have to practice it. I think the other thing that helps being a Christian is that you try to live a life less centered on yourself and more centered living for Christ and His plan for you. People sitting around thinking about themselves and their own feelings often get depressed because we know all of our faults and sins. Furthermore, we are often harder on ourselves then other people are on us. Christ forgives you if you ask; Don't carry that burden. Rather, give your life proper purpose and be useful for those around you. That is the Cross Christ wants you to carry. Practice acts of kindness. Practice acts of forgiveness. Practice prayer.

I'm not trying to derail the thread, but I wanted to share the testimony below as an example of the power of prayer/praying to alleviate suffering (whether from physical or mental illness). Tammy Peterson is the wife of Jordan Peterson. She had cancer and was given 10 months to live. She had surgery and was suffering complications making the prognosis more dim. Her friend began visiting her in the hospital and they prayed the Rosary together every day for 5 weeks even though Tammy was not herself a Catholic. To this day, she is only person known to be cancer free and have survived the diagnosis that she had.



There are a lot of good people on this board. Know we are all praying for you.
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Scoopen Skwert
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I have a friend who is now a Bishop. He said one thing that I find comfort in and at times it is perplexing. He said "Never put a spiritual bandage on a psychological scar."

I never want to underestimate the mighty power of God in anything. I also know he gave us these incredible minds to develop healthcare and the sciences.


Wyoming Aggie
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Scoopen Skwert said:

I have a friend who is now a Bishop. He said one thing that I find comfort in and at times it is perplexing. He said "Never put a spiritual bandage on a psychological scar."

I never want to underestimate the mighty power of God in anything. I also know he gave us these incredible minds to develop healthcare and the sciences.




This is a great post, and I can't emphasize it enough.

Place your strength with the Lord, but you need help. Depression is a disease of the mind. I take meds for my Bipolar 1, and I also go to counseling every other week and have done so for the past few years.

I also microdose mushrooms and THC. I firmly believe the good Lord put those in the Earth for a reason, and I can't tell you how much they have changed my life.
Martin Q. Blank
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I'd be careful with that. I'm pretty sure I read a while back that the sin of witchcraft in the bible was associated with psychedelics.
Pro Sandy
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cvenag03,

You are not alone. Depression may make you feel alone, you aren't. People love you, you have an impact on others, the world is better because of you. Some of us have felt how you feel. You aren't alone.

When I feel depressed, or hopeless, I have to be intentional. If I sit it in, it worsens and doesn't improve.

I go for a walk. That is usually my go to. I find exercising on a regular basis helps. Lots of physiological reasons, I just know I feel better. But when it hits out of the blue, I go walk the block.

Drowning it in alcohol makes it worse. You might numb the pain, but it doesn't get better and makes many more things worse.

Sleep is important. I use melatonin daily to aid my sleep. Quality is vital, and the alcohol has adverse effects on sleep.

Community is important. I usually just want to clam up and hide. But being around others helps. Doing things together, talking, not being alone.

Therapy and other medical supports are good! I see a therapist weekly.

Most importantly, cling to hope. I must remember myself daily of my hope in God. I cling to "I believe that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." No matter what is causing my depression, my hope is still in God, both today, in my remaining years, at my time of death, and in the life to come.

God loves you and has not forsaken you.
Wyoming Aggie
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Martin Q. Blank said:

I'd be careful with that. I'm pretty sure I read a while back that the sin of witchcraft in the bible was associated with psychedelics.


That's absurd
WestHoustonAg79
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Not here to derail. But as a 34 year old man that just tapered off an SSRI… I strongly disagree with the doc poster above. It was BY FAR the worst medical decision I've made. Doctors throw them out like skittles.

Just try all other options before prescription drugs is my only advice. If you think you've tried it all, ask how much you've actually tried to change your mind and body on your own before big pharma.

I am so happy to finally be off mine. All the alt med blowback on them is real.
dermdoc
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Pro Sandy said:

cvenag03,

You are not alone. Depression may make you feel alone, you aren't. People love you, you have an impact on others, the world is better because of you. Some of us have felt how you feel. You aren't alone.

When I feel depressed, or hopeless, I have to be intentional. If I sit it in, it worsens and doesn't improve.

I go for a walk. That is usually my go to. I find exercising on a regular basis helps. Lots of physiological reasons, I just know I feel better. But when it hits out of the blue, I go walk the block.

Drowning it in alcohol makes it worse. You might numb the pain, but it doesn't get better and makes many more things worse.

Sleep is important. I use melatonin daily to aid my sleep. Quality is vital, and the alcohol has adverse effects on sleep.

Community is important. I usually just want to clam up and hide. But being around others helps. Doing things together, talking, not being alone.

Therapy and other medical supports are good! I see a therapist weekly.

Most importantly, cling to hope. I must remember myself daily of my hope in God. I cling to "I believe that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." No matter what is causing my depression, my hope is still in God, both today, in my remaining years, at my time of death, and in the life to come.

God loves you and has not forsaken you.
Great post.

And I hope the op will keep us updated.

God is good.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
FIDO95
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WestHoustonAg79 said:

Not here to derail. But as a 34 year old man that just tapered off an SSRI… I strongly disagree with the doc poster above. It was BY FAR the worst medical decision I've made. Doctors throw them out like skittles.

Just try all other options before prescription drugs is my only advice. If you think you've tried it all, ask how much you've actually tried to change your mind and body on your own before big pharma.

I am so happy to finally be off mine. All the alt med blowback on them is real.
I don't doubt your experience but I think you might be projecting that experience on what I actually stated. Having to withdraw from medication is better then being dead. For people suffering from suicidal ideation and thoughts of self harm, medication is a useful tool to "short period of time to help get out of that rut". The stigma of taking the medication often prevents people from accepting what might be life saving therapy.

I would agree with your statement that some doctors "throw them out like skittles". If someone relies on the medication without doing the hard work of behavior modification they are not likely to get better. Every individuals path to anxiety and depression is different and unwinding that path is painful, difficult, and unique to each individual. Medication is not a short cut out of that hard work but can be a tool to get that work started.

I agree that it would be inappropriate to derail this thread on the topics of medications and big pharma. I'll give you the last word on that if you want it. I am happy to hear you are better and hope and pray the OP will find peace from their own suffering.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
dermdoc
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FIDO95 said:

WestHoustonAg79 said:

Not here to derail. But as a 34 year old man that just tapered off an SSRI… I strongly disagree with the doc poster above. It was BY FAR the worst medical decision I've made. Doctors throw them out like skittles.

Just try all other options before prescription drugs is my only advice. If you think you've tried it all, ask how much you've actually tried to change your mind and body on your own before big pharma.

I am so happy to finally be off mine. All the alt med blowback on them is real.
I don't doubt your experience but I think you might be projecting that experience on what I actually stated. Having to withdraw from medication is better then being dead. For people suffering from suicidal ideation and thoughts of self harm, medication is a useful tool to "short period of time to help get out of that rut". The stigma of taking the medication often prevents people from accepting what might be life saving therapy.

I would agree with your statement that some doctors "throw them out like skittles". If someone relies on the medication without doing the hard work of behavior modification they are not likely to get better. Every individuals path to anxiety and depression is different and unwinding that path is painful, difficult, and unique to each individual. Medication is not a short cut out of that hard work but can be a tool to get that work started.

I agree that it would be inappropriate to derail this thread on the topics of medications and big pharma. I'll give you the last word on that if you want it. I am happy to hear you are better and hope and pray the OP will find peace from their own suffering.
Agree. And people who have not experienced depression, anxiety, or any form of mental illness have no idea how serious and bad it is.
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Martin Q. Blank
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Wyoming Aggie said:

Martin Q. Blank said:

I'd be careful with that. I'm pretty sure I read a while back that the sin of witchcraft in the bible was associated with psychedelics.
That's absurd
What is?
swimmerbabe11
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I'm curious, does your psych/therapist know and endorse your use of these things?
swimmerbabe11
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Anywho, obviously everyone has lots of different advice and things they suggest for this...but what you can glean from this thread, if nothing else... You aren't alone. People struggle with despondency or depression or anxiety all the time.

You aren't a wuss, because you are making it to class. That's a great start! Believing that the people you love hate you happens to a lot of people as well. It's an awful feeling, but I promise you, sometimes your brain just lies to you. The people you love, love you back. We are all so mired in our own nonsense, that they may not realize that you are struggling...but they do care.

All the things about getting sunshine, going outside, etc..great advice, esp during the winter months...I get down bad during the winters and taking Vitamin C/B12/D was a game changer for me when I was your age.

As far as fearing for your salvation, I would dive a little more into why you are worried about it?

If you don't have someone to talk to that you trust, I'm happy to give you my number or email or discord or whatever makes you feel comfortable to talk to someone. The most dangerous thing you can do is just try to grin and bear it without telling anyone or making any changes.
WestHoustonAg79
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FIDO95 said:

WestHoustonAg79 said:

Not here to derail. But as a 34 year old man that just tapered off an SSRI… I strongly disagree with the doc poster above. It was BY FAR the worst medical decision I've made. Doctors throw them out like skittles.

Just try all other options before prescription drugs is my only advice. If you think you've tried it all, ask how much you've actually tried to change your mind and body on your own before big pharma.

I am so happy to finally be off mine. All the alt med blowback on them is real.
I don't doubt your experience but I think you might be projecting that experience on what I actually stated. Having to withdraw from medication is better then being dead. For people suffering from suicidal ideation and thoughts of self harm, medication is a useful tool to "short period of time to help get out of that rut". The stigma of taking the medication often prevents people from accepting what might be life saving therapy.

I would agree with your statement that some doctors "throw them out like skittles". If someone relies on the medication without doing the hard work of behavior modification they are not likely to get better. Every individuals path to anxiety and depression is different and unwinding that path is painful, difficult, and unique to each individual. Medication is not a short cut out of that hard work but can be a tool to get that work started.

I agree that it would be inappropriate to derail this thread on the topics of medications and big pharma. I'll give you the last word on that if you want it. I am happy to hear you are better and hope and pray the OP will find peace from their own suffering.


Thanks for the reply. I agree with your overall sentiment. But based not just on my experience, but everyone I know that has been on one before (which seems to be everyone) as well, the folks that actually use it in your scenario in that manner is tiny. If protocols/guard rails we're somehow in place (no idea what that looks like tbh) so that it was only prescribed to patients that truly have a game plan and want to get better and have regular follow ups, I'd be all for it.

The one therapist I saw 2-3 times told me to ask my PCP for it and if he didn't would refer me to a psychiatrist that could. My PCP did without asking any questions whatsoever. Therapist was in mental decline and never saw him again. When I moved to my new PCP/conceriege doctor he was like WTF and why are you on so many pills that don't really work together? (Lexapro was the only depression/anxiety related).

I guess I just have a huge distrust in the medical field all around these days. I've taken a lot of it in my own hands and forced my doctor to screen for things after doing my own thorough bloodwork out of pocket and bam. We have found a number of things that are all tied together that are messing my whole system up intertwined.

Sorry for the novel.

I do 10000% agree though if is deep rooted depression, suicidal ideation that's credible/actionable, etc. all bets are off and do what is available to get better. I just think it's a very small proportion of depression cases imho.
Wyoming Aggie
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swimmerbabe11 said:

I'm curious, does your psych/therapist know and endorse your use of these things?

Yes, both my psychiatrist and therapist are aware of my THC and mushroom use, and neither one discourages it. My first psychiatrist loaded me up on synthetic pharmaceuticals and they had a bad effect on me. Made me a literally zombie like I had a lobotomy. Wasn't any way to live.

That being said, I want to be clear that I'm not using either in excess. Only in moderation.
94chem
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Wyoming Aggie said:

Martin Q. Blank said:

I'd be careful with that. I'm pretty sure I read a while back that the sin of witchcraft in the bible was associated with psychedelics.


That's absurd
As if micro-dosing does any of that. As if some OT passage on witchcraft is relevant here. I was an ignorant troll too when I was about 15. Thank goodness there wasn't an internet.
94chem,
That, sir, was the greatest post in the history of TexAgs. I salute you. -- Dough
Martin Q. Blank
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94chem said:

Wyoming Aggie said:

Martin Q. Blank said:

I'd be careful with that. I'm pretty sure I read a while back that the sin of witchcraft in the bible was associated with psychedelics.


That's absurd
As if micro-dosing does any of that. As if some OT passage on witchcraft is relevant here. I was an ignorant troll too when I was about 15. Thank goodness there wasn't an internet.
It's the NT term. I didn't say he was necessarily doing it, but to be careful.
Its Texas Aggies, dammit
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cvenag03 said:

. . . I know I need to get help but am not sure how to pursue it. I know my parents are available but it's just so difficult to talk about with them. . .


As a parent of a college student who has and does struggle with this kind of thing, I'd encourage you to reach out to your parents. I'd be shocked if they would not move heaven and earth to help you. Until you are a parent, you have no idea how much your parents love you and want to help however they can.

Edit: If you are not ready to talk to them and want to talk to somebody, you can reach me via email at thermacell at use.startmail.com. Replace at with @.
WestHoustonAg79
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Its Texas Aggies, dammit said:

cvenag03 said:

. . . I know I need to get help but am not sure how to pursue it. I know my parents are available but it's just so difficult to talk about with them. . .


As a parent of a college student who has and does struggle with this kind of thing, I'd encourage you to reach out to your parents. I'd be shocked if they would not move heaven and earth to help you. Until you are a parent, you have no idea how much your parents love you and want to help however they can.


Best thought/response on this thread to date. Dad of 2 under age 5 for context. Blue star x100000
BusterAg
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kurt vonnegut said:

This can be a hard society for anyone to live in. I'm glad that you do speak about it and I hope its a comfort to know that you are certainly not alone in how you feel. There is a stigma about therapy and depression and anxiety and medications that turns a lot of people away from these options. I'm certainly not qualified to make any recommendations in a professional capacity, but, I think many of us are afraid of leaning on our families, friends, churches, therapists and wherever we get support when we need it. Doing so does not make us weak or lazy.
Kurt,

If you had a star I would PM this to you, but I think its worth posting on this thread, even if it is a slight derail.

After over 2 decades of stating my case on many of your posts from a theological perspective, I cannot help but be in admiration of you, your thought process, and your humanity, even if I disagree vehemently with your theological conclusions.

I just wanted to thank you for being a fantastic human being, even if I don't agree with you on theological subjects.

My hope is that you have a lot of influence on a lot of people that are like minded as you. I admire you.

I know that this might be repetitive of praise for you that I have posted in the past, but I want to encourage you to keep it up.

Seriously, Prost.
BusterAg
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AG
WestHoustonAg79 said:

Not here to derail. But as a 34 year old man that just tapered off an SSRI… I strongly disagree with the doc poster above. It was BY FAR the worst medical decision I've made. Doctors throw them out like skittles.

Just try all other options before prescription drugs is my only advice. If you think you've tried it all, ask how much you've actually tried to change your mind and body on your own before big pharma.

I am so happy to finally be off mine. All the alt med blowback on them is real.
I was taken off of SSRI's for a deadly reason.

Do your own research. I would not recommend SSRI's except as a last resort.
BusterAg
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AG
swimmerbabe11 said:

I'm curious, does your psych/therapist know and endorse your use of these things?
Not going to speak for the poster, but there is really hopeful research into the use of psychedelics to treat addiction and PTSD.

Clinical trials done by the likes of Johns Hopskin's, Mayo Clinic, etc that show data that is ASTOUNDING. Addiction is a brain disease, and these chemicals seem to provide a path to normalization for people suffering from this brain disease.

The tragedy is that the FDA has kept us from getting good data on these types of treatments.

The good news is that data is starting to have more importance than tradition.

BusterAg
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AG
cvenag03 said:

Anyone here diagnosed with depression? Feel I resemble strong signs of it but have not been officially diagnosed with anything. Anxiety , insecurity, self deprivation, anger, and grief. I don't enjoy much of anything anymore. Terrified to try new things or do anything apart from go to class. Part of me thinks I'm just a lazy wuss. I feel like people that have shown they love me secretly hate me or think I'm a freak.

I have never hurt myself or planned to. I don't think I ever will, but I have had the feeling of just not wanting to be around anymore. Though some days are fine and I feel as though I'm somehow faking it on the bad days.

I was raised Baptist by two loving and believing parents. I am a student and attend a church regularly but am unsure of my salivation. I know I need to get help but am not sure how to pursue it. I know my parents are available but it's just so difficult to talk about with them.

I don't know why I am posting this. I guess it helps to talk about it. If anyone has had similar experiences maybe it would help you to know you're not alone.

Thanks.

Tldr: help with grief, symptoms of depression

Edit: thank you all so much for your kind words and prayers. It's been encouraging to hear them and know I am not alone.
Depression sucks. In college, a lot of this is due to the foundations of a person's beliefs are no longer given, but questioned. This is likely good in the long run, but can run into troubles in the short term.

There are many paths to recovery. There is one that absolutely does not work. Don't try to pull yourself out of this. Reach out to someone. Anyone. Keep reaching out until you connect with someone that makes sense to you. Start with your faith tradition. If that doesn't work, reach out to other faith traditions that make sense to you. If that doesn't work, reach out to some wiccans or whatever. The point is, that only community is going to pull you out.

I'm preaching here, but from a place on the other side. Isolation, inebriation, apothy are your biggest enemies. Find something you want to make the world better at. Find a community that aligns with you.
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