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To liken this to abortion, I don't know how I could handle having parents who are pro-abortion. I would always think "yes you didn't abort me, but it seems to me that you admit there are certain conditions that exist where you would have rather aborted me in utero given your support for just that"

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T dizl televizl said:

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I'll throw in my story for what it's worth.

My parents got divorced when I was a kid maybe around 12 or so.

I always told myself I'd never get divorced because of how bad it turned out for everyone.

I got married at 28 and within 2.5 years was divorced as my then wife was running around with a married man and wouldn't stop even after I figured it out.

Now we didn't have kids so I know it's different but I would've been in a mental asylum if I couldn't have gotten out of that relationship. Marriage takes two people to work and if one adamantly doesn't want it to work there's not much you can do.

I'm remarried now and we just had our first kid. I will say that when I look at that little sucker I can't imagine ever getting divorced and accepting that I'm not going to get to see him as much. That being said, I do know that there is evil in this world and if one of the spouses wants out they usually act in a way that will make that happen.

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swimmerbabe11 said:

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Child of divorce here. I learned plenty from my parents divorce and I understand it a lot better now than I did as a child, but I dont and never have expected them to do it on "my behalf". It would have been nice if they could have solved their issues and found help and been happy together, but they were not a good example of a loving Christian marriage. I wish they could have fixed that for their own sakes.

In fact, some sacrifices were made on my behalf that I deeply wish they would have been more "selfish" to better take care of their own happiness and future.

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The Banned said:

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Rocag said:

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The post seems to imply that the best thing for children is always for the parents to remain married and frankly I do not believe this is universally true. The easy example is in cases in which some kind of abuse exists, but even absent that there are plenty of situations in which divorce offers those children a healthier and more stable environment in which to grow.

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This considers only two options. Option 1: have angry parents fighting all the time. Option 2: Divorce. My parents chose option 2 when I was a young child. I am in a very healthy marriage right now, and I can say with certainty that there is an option 3 that my parents did not choose because it actually requires effort instead of just throwing in the towel and accepting divorce or ****ty marriage. And yes, despite my happy marriage, their divorce did effect me in ways I was not able to process until much later in life and I think has played a major role in the eventual divorces my brothers had.

Option 3: choose to work on your marriage and yourselves. Put the marriage and family above yourself. If there is something that you need to be happy in the marriage, calmly make that clear to your spouse. If they fall back into old patterns, calmly bring it up again and again until you work through it. Most people never ask, expecting their spouse to read their minds, or give up after asking once or twice. What does it matter if you have to remind them 100 times? is it really worth destroying your family because you have to humble yourself to ask? For many people that answer is yes, sadly.

Unless you've picked someone who just truly sucks (like T dizl shared) then you should both have the maturity to make this work. If you choose not to, you are incredibly selfish. If you have the type of wife T Dizl shared, then I'd say you never really had a wife to begin with because they duped you into believing you ever had a shot of making it work.

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