F16,

I learned a short time ago a dear friend of mine for over 20 years killed himself.

We lived in different states and didn't talk often but had so many shared interests and for me, seeing him thrive with his daughters brought me so much joy.

So imagine the text I received from his wife informing me.

I say all this to make something absolutely clear. I don't care who you are, what you look like, or what your political beliefs are -

Suicide is NEVER the answer. I don't care how deep that pit is that you're in, or what you think others think about you -

I see a dear, smart guy who left behind a wife and two kids because of mental demons I never even saw.

Please don't hide your demons or thoughts. Ask for help. You have friends who love you at the very least - even on this Board. You think nobody cares about you?

If you're reading this - I care about you. And Jesus does even more.

Sorry for the soap box but this has really hit me and I think very important for us to try and step back and both take care of ourselves and love others.

Finally, if you ever are feeling suicidal, please private message me. We can text, hop on a phone call, or even a video call.

Love all you guys. Peace.

I am sorry for your loss. And I stand with your plea. To anyone reading this, please PM me, call a friend or contact someone before taking this option.

I'm sorry to hear this. I truly wonder why people get to a point where they think this is the only answer. Permanent solution to what could've been a temporary problem.

That poor family. The ones that are left behind are the ones that suffer.

Very sorry to hear.

817-403-0082. If anyone reading this needs someone to talk to during hard times please call me anytime. I'm not judgmental and I'm a good listener.

I've lost people to suicide before, and I've been on the precipice myself. God was merciful to me, and His mercy is for everyone.

I'm so sorry. I'll talk to anyone about this, and I can connect with groups who will help.

It's not exaggeration when people say they love you even if they haven't met you. We do, and the world is a better place with you in it.

I'm very sorry for the loss of your friend. I don't post much but am on this forum every day and feel a sense of community with y'all and pray that your message will resonate with someone in need and help them through a rough time.

BenFiasco14 said:

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F16,

I learned a short time ago a dear friend of mine for over 20 years killed himself.

We lived in different states and didn't talk often but had so many shared interests and for me, seeing him thrive with his daughters brought me so much joy.

So imagine the text I received from his wife informing me.

I say all this to make something absolutely clear. I don't care who you are, what you look like, or what your political beliefs are -

Suicide is NEVER the answer. I don't care how deep that pit is that you're in, or what you think others think about you -

I see a dear, smart guy who left behind a wife and two kids because of mental demons I never even saw.

Please don't hide your demons or thoughts. Ask for help. You have friends who love you at the very least - even on this Board. You think nobody cares about you?

If you're reading this - I care about you. And Jesus does even more.

Sorry for the soap box but this has really hit me and I think very important for us to try and step back and both take care of ourselves and love others.

Finally, if you ever are feeling suicidal, please private message me. We can text, hop on a phone call, or even a video call.

Love all you guys. Peace.

---

Great post. I have the exact same story. You never know what is going on with people. Love, listen and be there.

Mental health doc here. Suicide can look like the only solutions sometimes. It is a permanent act for a temporary albeit often very hard challenge. Find a reason to live. Your work is not done on earth yet. 15 minutes at a time if need be. Reach out. You have work to do to bless others. Find hope and trust God or at least trust that others need you and you might not yet know how you can bless someone who you haven't even met yet.

dermdoc said:

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Great post. I have the exact same story. You never know what is going on with people. Love, listen and be there.

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I quoted you, but a couple of other posters have said something similar to the above in their posts. You truly do not know what someone is experiencing or going through. My CPA practice was in my hometown and I knew very well most of my clients, had know many of them all through school and after.

One year, I had a guy wait until the last day to file his return, October 15th. I really didn't give a rat's ass when someone waited even until the last three weeks, particularly the last day, they could just pay the penalty. And I was always pretty vocal about them knowing my feelings. But for some reason on this particular occasion, I held my tongue. I told him I would work on it, and I would call him in the afternoon as to whether to drive in (he lived about 30 or 40 minutes away) and sign and mail the return. To this day, I have no idea why I did that, it was certainly not my nature. I think, in part, it was because it was the last day, no more late hours for a few months. A relaxed feeling of it being all done. At any rate, I did get it done (it was not a super complicated return but was pretty involved but he was extremely well organized). He came to get it, thanked us, and off to the post office.

He was not one to wait so long, but I later found out his dad, who he had a business with, had died that year, and he had gone through a bad divorce, two small kids in the mix. A couple of years after all this, he told me that he had been considering suicide, but after we had been so nice about getting his return done, he decided maybe his life was still worth something to some people. I have no idea how serious he was about suicide, I certainly did not ask questions about it since it was out of his system by this time. But I thought long and hard about what might have happened had I been my normal self and chastised him about waiting so late.

I got to thinking about whether other people I knew, clients or otherwise, might be going through similar situations, and thinking about suicide as a way out. I am not trained to be a counselor, and worried any attempt at being one might wind up doing harm rather than good. But I started putting three dimes (for a while it was five) in my left pocket and my goal every day was to go out of my way to say something nice to someone. To keep track, once I did, I moved a dime from my left pocket to my right pocket.

Just simple things, like I would call some female I had recently seen, maybe at the bank or post office, and say something like "hey, saw you the other day, and though you always look nice, you looked especially nice, and seeing you in the green dress makes me think green just might be your color." Or "was just wanting to see if you wound up getting a new vehicle, when you dropped off your tax stuff, you mentioned you were thinking about it." All just a five minute phone visit sort of thing. I have always joked and teased with people and generally could make people laugh. Eventually, I fell out of the habit of the dimes thing though.

But yes, you never do know what others can be dealing with. I have known very well three people who committed suicide, one was due to a recurrence of cancer, the other two were (I think) as a result of too much reliance on some strong medication along with being alone (one divorced, the other a widow, kids grown and gone).

It is just devastating when a family member calls to relay the bad news.

My Dad committed suicide in June. I was the one that found him. He was not the same after my Mom died from breast cancer 4 years ago. He was going to group grief and counseling but at some point reached a breaking point. I could see in the grass where he walked back and forth a dozen times before he made the final decision. I had never heard of generational trauma until now. My sons worshipped him and I grieve for the anger and confusion they have.