Suicide - Please Read. Dear Friend did it.

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Mac94
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10:10a, 11/10/25
AG
"Men don't get love ...they get used until they're no longer needed"

"Too many men get more peace at work than they do at home"

"You ever notice how a man can be the rock for everyone, until he needs someone, there nobody's there"

"A dad can give everything he has and still be treated like he was never there"

A few "inspirational" quotes that are out there in the "manosphere." Sadly, life has taught me that they are more true than hyperbolic. There is a reason why death of despair among men is so high and it's how society has taught people to view the man or men in their life and the culture at large.

Nearly the end of my 56th trip around the sun the truth of "no one cares, no one is coming to save you" resonates deep based on very personal experience.
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ToddyHill
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10:57a, 11/10/25
AG
The president of our wholesale division was diagnosed with ALS about 2 1/2 years ago. He died about three months ago. I thought it was the ALS. It wasn't. He shot himself. The family is just devastated.
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titan
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10:59a, 11/10/25
S

Arguably that's a different category. Self ending if being forced into long term care with no end in sight---very different from depression. Would put very late life dementia in same category.

Caveat: Not sure if ALS is immediately ushering in of such --- a diagnosis should never be the catalyst nor as long as are in some way viable should the above be chosen. But can see certain cases where it could.
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agnatgas
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12:04p, 11/10/25
AG
call 988

As mentioned in a previous post, 988 provides access to free, quality, one-on-one assistance. 988 is staffed by skilled, judgment-free counselors to provide compassionate support. Call anytime, anywhere, 24/7/365.

In an article of suicide survivors, one stated that he thought none of his problems could be solved. As he jumped over the hand rail of the Golden Gate Bridge flying towards the water, he thought "this is the only problem that I cannot solve."

988
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Who?mikejones!
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12:06p, 11/10/25
Trying to decide if I want to share my story. I might make a sock account
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Hamburger Dan
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1:07p, 11/10/25
There are some kinds of pain, that just won't go away. Ever..
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flown-the-coop
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In reply to Mac94 • 1:24p, 11/10/25
AG
Mac94 said:
"Men don't get love ...they get used until they're no longer needed"

"Too many men get more peace at work than they do at home"

"You ever notice how a man can be the rock for everyone, until he needs someone, there nobody's there"

"A dad can give everything he has and still be treated like he was never there"

A few "inspirational" quotes that are out there in the "manosphere." Sadly, life has taught me that they are more true than hyperbolic. There is a reason why death of despair among men is so high and it's how society has taught people to view the man or men in their life and the culture at large.

Nearly the end of my 56th trip around the sun the truth of "no one cares, no one is coming to save you" resonates deep based on very personal experience.

My father took his own life 25 years ago, less than a month after I graduated at A&M. He had taken an early retirement and was both lost without his job and we believe lost as well with a sense of purpose after raising two boys, getting them through A&M and on their way to successful careers.

Then on Friday I get a call from my ex-SIL that my niece had attempted suicide and was in the hospital. She will physically recover but we have a long, complex road ahead. We had been keeping a close eye on her and checking in very frequently as my Mom passed a couple of months ago, broke up with her BF a month ago, and is very hard on herself in regards to school, obsessed with making nothing but As and now in her junior year.

Appreciate you sharing the above quotes. My best friend just empty nested and now his wife is thinking it would be better to be single. Those quotes apply to him almost to a letter.
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Mac94
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2:26p, 11/10/25
AG
"I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless and they don't want anyone else to feel like that." - Robin Williams
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titan
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In reply to flown-the-coop • 3:06p, 11/10/25
S
flown-the-coop said:
Mac94 said:
"Men don't get love ...they get used until they're no longer needed"

"Too many men get more peace at work than they do at home"

"You ever notice how a man can be the rock for everyone, until he needs someone, there nobody's there"

"A dad can give everything he has and still be treated like he was never there"

A few "inspirational" quotes that are out there in the "manosphere." Sadly, life has taught me that they are more true than hyperbolic. There is a reason why death of despair among men is so high and it's how society has taught people to view the man or men in their life and the culture at large.

Nearly the end of my 56th trip around the sun the truth of "no one cares, no one is coming to save you" resonates deep based on very personal experience.

My father took his own life 25 years ago, less than a month after I graduated at A&M. He had taken an early retirement and was both lost without his job and we believe lost as well with a sense of purpose after raising two boys, getting them through A&M and on their way to successful careers.

Then on Friday I get a call from my ex-SIL that my niece had attempted suicide and was in the hospital. She will physically recover but we have a long, complex road ahead. We had been keeping a close eye on her and checking in very frequently as my Mom passed a couple of months ago, broke up with her BF a month ago, and is very hard on herself in regards to school, obsessed with making nothing but As and now in her junior year.

Appreciate you sharing the above quotes. My best friend just empty nested and now his wife is thinking it would be better to be single. Those quotes apply to him almost to a letter.

Both examples underscore that there is something to be said for and wary about two of the big "empty nest" moments. After the kids leave, what holds the marriage together, and second, retirement itself can leave an "empty nest -- empty of purpose or ideas" if one wasn't already in some hobby or have a sufficient big list of "bucket list items" to give their time a sense of purpose.

The wife leaving because of the empty nest is a particularly bad one because it promptly creates that situation for the other spouse --- now all has to be restarted or seems in vain. (Key would be the relation with the children it produced counterbalancing) Yikes.
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InfantryAg
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11:08p, 11/10/25
AG
Suicidal?

Here's a guy who knows what you're going through. Here's a guy who has legit attempted suicide...

Not a call for help, but a failed attempt.

Read his story before you actually try.

He (and other attempt survivors) said as soon as he jumped, he regretted it. Find out why!

https://abc7news.com/post/second-chances-i-survived-jumping-off-the-golden-gate-bridge/2010562/?userab=abc_web_player-460*variant_a_abc_control-1900

His channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYZeM7MIkXtU_--r9BlDTQA
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schmellba99
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In reply to annie88 • 2:54p, 11/11/25
AG
annie88 said:
I'm sorry to hear this. I truly wonder why people get to a point where they think this is the only answer. Permanent solution to what could've been a temporary problem.

That poor family. The ones that are left behind are the ones that suffer.

I would assume for each person it's different and comprised of differing pieces of the puzzle. Numerous reasons why somebody gets to that point in their life.

I had a friend, albiet a distant one, who chose this path just a few years ago. Stuck duck athlete, even had a baseball scholarship to A&M. Played minor league ball and after that career ended joined the Navy and was in the Special Warfare group as a SWCC. I don't think there was a girl in town from age 15 to age 70 that wouldn't have thrown themselves at him - just one of thos guys.

But after he got back from his 3rd or 4th tour, he wasn't the same. I didn't know him well at that time so I really don't know what changed, but something did. I can only assume it was what he did and saw in combat, and that would be understandable. Granted, he was always one that was willing to take things a little farther than everybody else and he definitely at times danced on the jagged line of crazy fun versus just crazy. His marriage fell apart, his wife just couldn't manage raising their daughter and shouldering the burden of him. One morning he rode his bike to school with his daughter, then on the way home stopped in a park somewhere in souther California and decided that was enough and he pulled the pin. Knocked the wind out of everybody.

I'll admit that I've stared into the abyss before. Sometimes you just get beat down to a point that you lose interest in anything, including waking up the next day. In those times the darkness of that abyss looks very, very inviting. Imagine standing on a ledge overlooking nothing - just a vast emptiness that if you step off that ledge you become a part of. You have no more worries, no more fears, no more stress, no more fighting through life to deal with. Sometimes the darkness wins. That voice convinces you to take that step off the ledge. Sometimes you think about what you are leaving behind, sometimes you have lost the will to care about it.

I can tell you that I sat on that ledge for a long time, but finally decided to turn around and walk away from it. To this day and honestly I think I came out stronger mentally because of it. But I also learned how to talk about things versus bottling them up and pretending they don't exist. Which is not an easy thing to do - it goes against pretty much every strand of your DNA as a man, husband and father to tell somebody you are weak and need support. Unlike my friend, I was able to find enough rational thought in me to not make a permanent decision and find that support I needed at the time. Helps to have good friends that go out of their way for you.

And women - let me tell you something that I wish every girl and woman was told repeatedly until they understand just how important it is - if your husband, father, boyfriend, son, whatever gets to the point where they open up to you about a problem - NEVER use that against them later on. No matter the argument, no matter how angry you are - doing so will absolutely ensure that he will most likely never open up to you again. Same with guys and their women too, though I would argue that the instances of guys using something like this against a woman aren't as frequent as the other way around.
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Cinco Ranch Aggie
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In reply to schmellba99 • 3:01p, 11/11/25
AG
So well said. Thank you for sharing that.
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annie88
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In reply to one safe place • 3:16p, 11/11/25
AG
That's a really nice story. I'll try to do things like that now and then, pay for a family's meal when I'm in a restaurant, I don't let them know. I just tell the waiter to do it or giving a large tip to someone that's just busing tables at more self-serve restaurant. I even tipped the people at Kyle and Olsen because I know they're in there for the whole game standing up and working hard. I know a lot of people don't but I do.

A few times I've been in line behind someone at a store and they didn't have enough money and I've covered it. Whether they protest or thank me. I just tell them someday when they can, do something for someone else.

They are small things, but I often think to help people out when it looks like they need help whether financially or other you never know when you'll need it yourself. Or as you said, you changed that whole man's outlook. It doesn't take much to be kind.

I remember when I was editor at the association, a prisoner from Huntsville had written a letter requesting a certain book. I don't know what he was in for, but I bought him that book and another similar content one from the TAMU press (that's where he wanted it from, it was in historical book) and sent them to him in prison. Got the nicest thank you note from him a few weeks later he couldn't believe someone actually sent it to him.

I don't know what happened to that guy, but maybe it helped him out. Maybe it turned a point in his life I don't know. Maybe he's still in prison for life or maybe he was executed. But it just seemed like the right thing to do at the time

I do have mixed feelings about suicide because it makes me angry on one hand that they're so selfish to do that to people but then you realize they're not in the right place. It's very complicated.

I saw this documentary about 20 years ago and it was talking about people who had survived their suicide attempts and one guy in particular, he was pretty young at the time, in his 20s and he had jumped off some really tall bridge. I don't know if it was the Golden Gate, but it was something like that and he said this minute he stepped off the ledge. He knew he had made a mistake, and wish he could climb back up on the bridge as he was falling down into the water.

He was badly broken and beaten, but he did survive and said that he is so grateful he got a second chance.

I've often wonder since then if many of these people, if they had a second chance, would they do it again. I bet a large percent of them would not.
“Some people bring joy wherever they go, and some people bring joy whenever they go.” ~ Mark Twain
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Jhar54
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3:53p, 11/13/25
My wife killed herself with a gun shot to the head 23 years ago. Destroyed her mom. I had a lot of guilt but learned that everyone is responsible for their own life and forgave myself. Suicide is not a choice. Friends, faith and family will save you.
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GeorgiAg
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3:59p, 11/13/25
AG
Also, there are some good drugs out that that help. I had to take lexapro or something similar during and after my divorce. Also be sure to exercise. It is not just for physical health. There's a little pharmacist inside of you with the good stuff - endorphins. But he only releases those if you beat it out of him

if you voted for Biden and need to talk, feel free to reach out. (ha)
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Buck Turgidson
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In reply to Mac94 • 11:21p, 11/13/25
Mac94 said:
"Men don't get love ...they get used until they're no longer needed"

"Too many men get more peace at work than they do at home"

"You ever notice how a man can be the rock for everyone, until he needs someone, there nobody's there"

"A dad can give everything he has and still be treated like he was never there"

A few "inspirational" quotes that are out there in the "manosphere." Sadly, life has taught me that they are more true than hyperbolic. There is a reason why death of despair among men is so high and it's how society has taught people to view the man or men in their life and the culture at large.

Nearly the end of my 56th trip around the sun the truth of "no one cares, no one is coming to save you" resonates deep based on very personal experience.

Luckily those quotes do not describe my family life, but I know those quotes do ring true for many men. My lifelong friend committed suicide a few years back and I think he probably felt that way. He also handled job stress poorly and he had that layered on top of a selfish cheating ***** of an ex wife.
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Max Power
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8:36a, 11/14/25
AG
The first time I even knew suicide was a thing was when I was in junior high and a kid in my sister's 6th grade class hung himself in his closet. One of my friend's dad's died this way. I've known two people who have killed their wives, and then themselves, and both left children without either parent. A guy reporting to me right now had a son who killed himself.

As someone who has battled depression for their majority of my life the little interactions with those around you play a bigger part that you can ever imagine. If someone cancels an activity you were really looking forward to, when you feel you don't have much to look forward to most of the time, it can get really dark. Conversely, being invited to something out of the blue can turn things in a good way. Getting a phone call at the right time can be huge. I think loneliness and solitude are the biggest contributor. You can be in a room full of people you know and feel isolated, or you can be with just one who makes you feel valued and like you belong in this world. It can still happen if you have a family. I was the one who had to take the initiative to get help, no one else ever told me they had concerns even if they did. Maybe I would have gotten help a long time ago if someone told me they were worried about me.

Every single person I've known directly or indirectly that has committed suicide was a man. If you have a person in your life that you even suspect is having a tough time please reach out to them. It could make a bigger difference than you would ever think. I'm pretty open about my struggles which has helped me get closer with some people, but it's probably also pushed some away because it feels like some people view mental health struggles like you have HIV/AIDS and just want to get as far away from that illness as possible.
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Detmersdislocatedshoulder
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In reply to Aggie1944s Kid • 8:45a, 11/14/25
Aggie1944s Kid said:
Very sorry to hear.

817-403-0082. If anyone reading this needs someone to talk to during hard times please call me anytime. I'm not judgmental and I'm a good listener.


this is very kind of you.
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Aggie12B
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In reply to ToddyHill • 11:04a, 11/16/25
AG
ToddyHill said:
The president of our wholesale division was diagnosed with ALS about 2 1/2 years ago. He died about three months ago. I thought it was the ALS. It wasn't. He shot himself. The family is just devastated.

Although she wasn't diagnosed with ALS until a week before she died, my wife suffered with ALS the last 3 years of her life. After watching her suffer from ALS, I can kinda understand this one. ALS is such a terrible disease.

I used to tell Casey that if I ever got diagnosed with Alzheimers, I would seriously consider becoming one of the 22 Vets/day. After watching what Casey went through, an ALS diagnosis might lead to the same thought process
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The_Waco_Kid
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11:31a, 11/16/25
AG
When I was 14, my closest friend died in a really stupid accident and I was with him when it happened. He's been gone longer than he was alive now, and I still get bothered by it. Skip ahead 12 years, and there was a rash of losing 7 friends in six months - three were vehicle accidents, 4 were suicides. I was there for all but one. I've been struggling for years with this. Dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer two years ago, and I had to talk him out of ending it. He still passed just a few months later.

I started really working on therapy earlier this year, and now parts of the memories are back to full strength when the bits and pieces that were locked away have resurfaced. This year in June, a friend's mother ended her life, then the best man at my wedding ended his in August. My wife has said that I'm an empty shell right now, and that's why she's leaving me.

Yes, I feel chewed up and spit out, like I have no value anymore. I still refuse to consider taking the easy way out. And if anybody needs to talk, I'm here for you.
.357 magnum is the only 9mm worth carrying.
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swimmerbabe11
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In reply to The_Waco_Kid • 12:10p, 11/16/25
Saying a prayer for you now. May the lord bless and you fill you with peace and comfort and restore your heart. May He help you grieve these awful losses, process them, and move forward with purpose and joy.
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spud1910
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In reply to The_Waco_Kid • 3:17p, 11/16/25
AG
Praying for you. That's tough and I admire your courage.
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FobTies
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7:52p, 11/16/25
This is a great thread for its awareness and perspective on life, with so many here going thru unimaginable grief around suicide, and persevering. Yall are an inspiration.

Lots of great advice on remedial actions, and I think one taboo controversial topic is plant based medicine. Particularly micro-dosing psilocybe cubensis (mushrooms). Small to moderate dosages can help break the grip that depression has on the brain. IMO, Church, getting out in nature, some exercise, and micro dosages of mushrooms can help one tackle those life circumstances underpinning the depression (as that is the ultimate cure).

Not looking to derail, but Im hopeful that mushrooms and other psychedelics can one day be embraced as a legit alternative to SSRIs and benzos.
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Bonfired
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In reply to schmellba99 • 8:36p, 11/16/25
AG
schmellba99 said:
And women - let me tell you something that I wish every girl and woman was told repeatedly until they understand just how important it is - if your husband, father, boyfriend, son, whatever gets to the point where they open up to you about a problem - NEVER use that against them later on. No matter the argument, no matter how angry you are - doing so will absolutely ensure that he will most likely never open up to you again. Same with guys and their women too, though I would argue that the instances of guys using something like this against a woman aren't as frequent as the other way around.

Quoting this for truth, and thank you for saying it.
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Ryan the Temp
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11:18p, 12/16/25
AG
I learned today a close friend who was the best friend I had growing up took his own life Sunday. Ugly divorce followed by a bad car wreck and losing his job. He was clearly facing some awful demons and did a good job of trying to hide it from his friends.
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HarryJ33tamu
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In reply to The_Waco_Kid • 8:08a, 12/17/25
The_Waco_Kid said:
When I was 14, my closest friend died in a really stupid accident and I was with him when it happened. He's been gone longer than he was alive now, and I still get bothered by it. Skip ahead 12 years, and there was a rash of losing 7 friends in six months - three were vehicle accidents, 4 were suicides. I was there for all but one. I've been struggling for years with this. Dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer two years ago, and I had to talk him out of ending it. He still passed just a few months later.

I started really working on therapy earlier this year, and now parts of the memories are back to full strength when the bits and pieces that were locked away have resurfaced. This year in June, a friend's mother ended her life, then the best man at my wedding ended his in August. My wife has said that I'm an empty shell right now, and that's why she's leaving me.

Yes, I feel chewed up and spit out, like I have no value anymore. I still refuse to consider taking the easy way out. And if anybody needs to talk, I'm here for you.


Praying for you Waco Kid. Keep staying strong.
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Canyon Lake Agbu94
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8:15a, 12/17/25
AG
Today marks the 25th Anniversary of one of my cousin's taking his life. It was the first suicide of a family and/or friend that hit close to home. Fortunately, I have not had the experiences or frequency that some here have had, but I have never stopped questioning if there was something that I could have done to prevent this drastic measure. I pray for those that have lost loved ones and think of you often Cal, Seth and Richard.
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dstuckey4
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In reply to The_Waco_Kid • 8:23a, 12/17/25
AG
Praying for you! If you ever need anything, please reach out.
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