My dad was gone a lot, so I had to learn things on the street. Unfortunately, there was an optometrist shop on my street, so I'm always attracted to women with big glasses.
"The Talk" w/ son
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Last: 12 hrs ago by 2wealfth Man
firethewagonup said:
I looked forward to having this talk with my boys. I have two sons and enjoyed speaking with them about it. My dad was out of the picture when I was 5, so Grandpa was my mentor, mechanic, teacher, and everything in between. It took me many years to cherish the talk he had with me, and it will be years before my boys appreciate our talk.
Umm I didn't like the talk as a kid and I don't look forward to giving it either.
If the talk is about changing oil, cutting grass, sharpening knives or chainsaw chains etc etc then I'm all about it ha
Print out what child support costs on a $75k salary.
75k-25% income tax - 15k child support. = used cars and loss of deer lease.
75k-25% income tax - 15k child support. = used cars and loss of deer lease.
Well, thanks for all the advice yall! Took a lot of it to heart, and found this whole thread very helpful.
I started chatting with him about 45 minutes before we were going to stop for lunch. That gave a natural exit and end to the conversation.
It honestly went really really well. Wasn't awkward at all, truly. He was engaged and attentive, and asked a few questions about the biology. I think I caught him at the perfect time. He is in middle school and hears a few things, but by his questions it was clear he didn't really know anything yet.
We talked about openness, and that communicating is the most important thing. We talked about physical, mental, and emotional changes he will be experiencing. He seemed very comfortable with those things, and the changes he has already started seeing. We talked about emotions, and healthy ways to get those out (vs unhealthy ones).
I was planning on making the actually physical act a part 2, but he asked- so we hit the high notes of procreating. Will go though it again later. We talked about responsibly of raising a kid, vs and animal parent. We talked about how that's one of the reasons God designed families, to provide the stability, love, and guarding kids need to grow healthy and strong. And how if you aren't ready to provide that, you shouldn't be doing the things that lead to kids. That's why Scripture instructs us to wait. I didn't want to just use scare tactics, or "don't do it because God said no!" I want him to understand the reasoning. I think we took good steps toward that.
We concluded with talking about why it's important for him to talk with me and mom about stuff. I said you wouldn't go to your friends with financial advice, because they've never had any money. So, trust someone that has been doing this for a couple decades, not a bunch of people at your same stage just making crap up. That really clicked with him. We talked briefly about the realities of the Internet & porn. I think it was at a healthy level, and we will get into more next time.
We talked at as deep of a level as he wanted, laughed, got real, and bonded. There is a clear and open line of communication moving forward, and he knows we are on his side and looking out for him. It wasn't awkward in the least. We prayed together, which was really nice. I call that a success.
Thanks again for all the help!
I started chatting with him about 45 minutes before we were going to stop for lunch. That gave a natural exit and end to the conversation.
It honestly went really really well. Wasn't awkward at all, truly. He was engaged and attentive, and asked a few questions about the biology. I think I caught him at the perfect time. He is in middle school and hears a few things, but by his questions it was clear he didn't really know anything yet.
We talked about openness, and that communicating is the most important thing. We talked about physical, mental, and emotional changes he will be experiencing. He seemed very comfortable with those things, and the changes he has already started seeing. We talked about emotions, and healthy ways to get those out (vs unhealthy ones).
I was planning on making the actually physical act a part 2, but he asked- so we hit the high notes of procreating. Will go though it again later. We talked about responsibly of raising a kid, vs and animal parent. We talked about how that's one of the reasons God designed families, to provide the stability, love, and guarding kids need to grow healthy and strong. And how if you aren't ready to provide that, you shouldn't be doing the things that lead to kids. That's why Scripture instructs us to wait. I didn't want to just use scare tactics, or "don't do it because God said no!" I want him to understand the reasoning. I think we took good steps toward that.
We concluded with talking about why it's important for him to talk with me and mom about stuff. I said you wouldn't go to your friends with financial advice, because they've never had any money. So, trust someone that has been doing this for a couple decades, not a bunch of people at your same stage just making crap up. That really clicked with him. We talked briefly about the realities of the Internet & porn. I think it was at a healthy level, and we will get into more next time.
We talked at as deep of a level as he wanted, laughed, got real, and bonded. There is a clear and open line of communication moving forward, and he knows we are on his side and looking out for him. It wasn't awkward in the least. We prayed together, which was really nice. I call that a success.
Thanks again for all the help!
I think 2 main points for me when it's time to have that talk will be 1) do not use sex or women as a way to boost your own ego or mask your insecurities and 2) while condoms and birth control aren't total protection they are your best protection if you decide to have sex. If you do have sex, especially without protection, you should be prepared to possibly upend your current way of life. Missing out on being a normal high schooler or college kid. Getting a job and devoting yourself to supporting that child.
I think keeping #1 a focus can protect from a lot of bad decisions and unhealthy relationships.
It might also help to ask your wife for her perspective as a girl that you can share (and maybe you don't mention it was coming from his mom). Girls experience things on a totally different wave length than men and sex can mean/cause different reactions and feelings for them.
I think keeping #1 a focus can protect from a lot of bad decisions and unhealthy relationships.
It might also help to ask your wife for her perspective as a girl that you can share (and maybe you don't mention it was coming from his mom). Girls experience things on a totally different wave length than men and sex can mean/cause different reactions and feelings for them.
Pop never had the talk with me about the how's and why's........he didn't have to. I was raised on a dairy and pretty much had it all figured out by the time I hit the first grade......... my brother and I weren't sheltered in the least bit about procreation. It didn't take long to figure out the process as it would apply to humans was the same as with cattle, horses, canines and cats. Pulling afterbirth from a cow that has given birth by wrapping it between two boards is not for the faint hearted 10 year old.
AnScAggie said:
Never had "the talk". Pretty much figured it out on my own. Would have been less fun and way more awkward to have had my dad explain it all to me.
Me neither, my mother took me to see the movie 5 Easy Pieces with Nick Olson and Sally Struthers, that was eye opening for me, nickolson banged her all over that bedroom, she rode him like a bucking pony!
,
When I was a freshman in high school I was hanging out with an FFA buddy at his house. His dad walks up to my buddy and hands my buddy his wallet he had found and informs my friend that he saw the condom behind the cash.
He tells my friend: "I have two pieces of advice for you. First, do NOT let your mom find this. Second, get all you can now because when you get married and have kids you ain't gettin' it anymore."
And he walked out and left us stunned. According to my friend, that was his one and only 'talk.'
He tells my friend: "I have two pieces of advice for you. First, do NOT let your mom find this. Second, get all you can now because when you get married and have kids you ain't gettin' it anymore."
And he walked out and left us stunned. According to my friend, that was his one and only 'talk.'
We may not always get what we want. We may not always get what we need. Just so we don't get what we deserve.
When I was 16 and hanging out with an identical twin from Huntington, her stepdad named "Catfish" walked up to me in his shirtless overalls and said "You get her pregnant, you marryin er." It wasn't a father to son talk, but it was effective. We never dated again after that.
Thank God my dad never had "the talk" with me, cringing just imagining that. I never had "the talk" with my son, that would be cringe worthy to me, and I bet to him as well. He and his wife will be having a son in June. Too early to know if he will ever have "the talk" with him but I won't be around if and when he does.
As per someone mentioned above I was told if I ever slept with a woman I had better be prepared to marry her. I actually did that 33 years ago.
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