The last essay I shared was bittersweet. Hopefully this one from several years back is just funny.
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I share parenting wins, but we all know the crowd favorites are the parenting missteps. If that's you, you are in for a treat. Today's missteps snowballed on me.
I like to knock out Alex's computer assignments before we go on any adventures and this morning started off pretty well. He only protested a little and we knocked out one lesson. We took a break and when the next lesson started, things went downhill.
Sometimes these balks last 5 minutes. Sometimes it lasts an hour. The record is 15 hours but that included 10 hours of sleep in the middle.
Somewhere around the 45-minute mark this morning, Alex told me "You aren't my dad anymore."
He loves to start a distracting argument to get me talking about something else, so I just replied, "Ok, but you still have to do the lesson."
A few minutes later, he did his lesson pausing between questions to remind me I wasn't his dad. To which I said, "You can pretend I am not your dad all day if you do your lesson."
With the lesson done, it felt like a win. But just put that little story in your pocket for a bit. You will want to refer to it later.
So our adventure today was pretty simple. Go to the park and play. Of course our dog, Murphy, came along, too.
When we got to the park, I noticed it was fairly busy. The parking lot was full. It looked like a moms group had a meet up and there were lots of kids playing in the sunshine. What there was absolutely zero of was other adult males. I cringed a little.
Now I have nothing against mom groups. In fact, I believe them to be quite wonderful in almost all aspects. The exception is when you are the only dad around, you feel like a creeper of some sort.
You may think that is just in my head. I used to try to think that, too. But having been turned down for group outings because they were "moms only" means there must be some validity to it. Still, I mostly try to ignore signs of that and go about my business. And I should quickly add here, I have met many friendly playground moms, too…so I definitely don't want to paint everyone with the same brush.
Anyway, back to the parenting fail…
I park the truck down a ways from the playground, but I can see the walk all the up to the entrance. Murphy needed some water before we left the truck and Alex was anxious to get to playing. I made what at the time felt like a wise parenting move that allowed Alex some independence and showed him I trusted him. I told him he can go on to the playground and we would be up there in a few minutes. It turned out to be misstep #2.
Murphy was thirstier than I expected. It took a few minutes for him to drink up. Alex was already mixed in to a crowd of kids, when Murphy and I come walking up the hill and sit on a bench away from everyone at the far edge of the playground. So far so good.
But then kids start noticing Murphy. One comes over and asks to pet him and I say okay. The kid sits down on the bench right next to me to pet the dog. This is when I realize there is a mom about to freak out.
In that moment, I am literally the guy they warn kids about when they talk about stranger danger. Beware the guy with no kids with a puppy.
This was definitely a misstep, but I tried not to overreact.
The kid asks me, "What's his name?"
"Murphy" I answer looking all around me trying to assess the situation and in doing so probably making myself look even more suspicious.
"That's our dog's name!" the kid beams. The kid holler to a sibling, "his dog is named Murphy, too". Which, if you think about it, is exactly what the stranger danger guy would say, too.
I realize no one there knows I am with Alex and I catch him looking my way and try to wave to him. He is only thinking "playground" and blows me off. Meanwhile, I'm catching the eye of other kids and they see Murphy and soon we have several kids surrounding us at the park bench at the far edge of the playground. Which, if you think about it, is the bench the stranger danger guy would have picked, too.
At this point, moms are starting to take notice. How could they not? I would have been on alert, too. Many are staring straight at me. A couple moms are moving toward their kids on the playground and one brave mom starts walking across the playground my way.
Now I really needed Alex to come over. He was standing between me and the mom marching my way. I was waving at him and hollered at him. He was ignoring me.
The mom reached him, pointed at me and asked, "Is that your dad?"
To which Alex responded by looking my way, looking back up at her and saying, "nope".
And if you have ever wondered why I am awkward at the playground, now you know.
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I share parenting wins, but we all know the crowd favorites are the parenting missteps. If that's you, you are in for a treat. Today's missteps snowballed on me.
I like to knock out Alex's computer assignments before we go on any adventures and this morning started off pretty well. He only protested a little and we knocked out one lesson. We took a break and when the next lesson started, things went downhill.
Sometimes these balks last 5 minutes. Sometimes it lasts an hour. The record is 15 hours but that included 10 hours of sleep in the middle.
Somewhere around the 45-minute mark this morning, Alex told me "You aren't my dad anymore."
He loves to start a distracting argument to get me talking about something else, so I just replied, "Ok, but you still have to do the lesson."
A few minutes later, he did his lesson pausing between questions to remind me I wasn't his dad. To which I said, "You can pretend I am not your dad all day if you do your lesson."
With the lesson done, it felt like a win. But just put that little story in your pocket for a bit. You will want to refer to it later.
So our adventure today was pretty simple. Go to the park and play. Of course our dog, Murphy, came along, too.
When we got to the park, I noticed it was fairly busy. The parking lot was full. It looked like a moms group had a meet up and there were lots of kids playing in the sunshine. What there was absolutely zero of was other adult males. I cringed a little.
Now I have nothing against mom groups. In fact, I believe them to be quite wonderful in almost all aspects. The exception is when you are the only dad around, you feel like a creeper of some sort.
You may think that is just in my head. I used to try to think that, too. But having been turned down for group outings because they were "moms only" means there must be some validity to it. Still, I mostly try to ignore signs of that and go about my business. And I should quickly add here, I have met many friendly playground moms, too…so I definitely don't want to paint everyone with the same brush.
Anyway, back to the parenting fail…
I park the truck down a ways from the playground, but I can see the walk all the up to the entrance. Murphy needed some water before we left the truck and Alex was anxious to get to playing. I made what at the time felt like a wise parenting move that allowed Alex some independence and showed him I trusted him. I told him he can go on to the playground and we would be up there in a few minutes. It turned out to be misstep #2.
Murphy was thirstier than I expected. It took a few minutes for him to drink up. Alex was already mixed in to a crowd of kids, when Murphy and I come walking up the hill and sit on a bench away from everyone at the far edge of the playground. So far so good.
But then kids start noticing Murphy. One comes over and asks to pet him and I say okay. The kid sits down on the bench right next to me to pet the dog. This is when I realize there is a mom about to freak out.
In that moment, I am literally the guy they warn kids about when they talk about stranger danger. Beware the guy with no kids with a puppy.
This was definitely a misstep, but I tried not to overreact.
The kid asks me, "What's his name?"
"Murphy" I answer looking all around me trying to assess the situation and in doing so probably making myself look even more suspicious.
"That's our dog's name!" the kid beams. The kid holler to a sibling, "his dog is named Murphy, too". Which, if you think about it, is exactly what the stranger danger guy would say, too.
I realize no one there knows I am with Alex and I catch him looking my way and try to wave to him. He is only thinking "playground" and blows me off. Meanwhile, I'm catching the eye of other kids and they see Murphy and soon we have several kids surrounding us at the park bench at the far edge of the playground. Which, if you think about it, is the bench the stranger danger guy would have picked, too.
At this point, moms are starting to take notice. How could they not? I would have been on alert, too. Many are staring straight at me. A couple moms are moving toward their kids on the playground and one brave mom starts walking across the playground my way.
Now I really needed Alex to come over. He was standing between me and the mom marching my way. I was waving at him and hollered at him. He was ignoring me.
The mom reached him, pointed at me and asked, "Is that your dad?"
To which Alex responded by looking my way, looking back up at her and saying, "nope".
And if you have ever wondered why I am awkward at the playground, now you know.