Some of you may be inclined to tell me to MYOB or STFU or whatever. I respect that, but I ask if you're so inclined, just ignore this post. It is honestly meant with the best of intentions whether the information posted will end up being helpful at all.
I have not lost a child nor do I claim to have any knowledge thereof. I have, however, known many who have. Starting with my grandfather, who lost 4. I vividly recall the look on his face -- frankly, the first time I was even aware of this -- at my uncle's funeral. I'll never forget that. After that, friends of my parents, and then, sadly, many friends of mine. I don't even know the count. Its almost like I'm bad luck to parents who know me.
A good friend of mine (who's married to another good friend) lost her baby due to severe birth defects. Every year on his birthday, she posts a tribute to him on FB. But it is more than that. A couple of years ago, she wrote some of the most profound words I've ever read. Allow me to share them with you.
Quote:
I still don't understand how or why God would take a child from his mother while she prays for him. I'll never understand it and I've come to accept that I'll never understand this side of Eternity. But what I do know is this: life, for all of us, is messy. It is very much like the backside of a tapestry which looks like random threads and utter chaos. Looking at the backside, no one would ever know what the "pretty" side looks like or even what the image is supposed to be. But through His Word, God assures us over and over of its true beauty and its ETERNAL purpose. I just have to trust Him with our son and His plan of what He is weaving and creating. It is kind of cool to think that our little family of 5, is a teeny-tiny, itsy-bitsy thread in that beautiful tapestry that He is creating. And you and your family are also a part of that same beautiful tapestry. We may not see the beauty now through the heartache, pain, and grief, but we will see it one day once our work here is complete. (...)
Twenty-two years ago I was looking for God to remove my suffering. Looking back, I can see that He was there, right beside us, in every step, every tear, every screaming temper tantrum I threw in the closet, every trip to the cemetery... Over the years, many people have often asked me... "If God were to ask you and give you the choice to become pregnant with (him) and have the same outcome (his death), or never become pregnant with him at all, what would you choose?" Without a single doubt in my heart, I would do it all again because I was chosen by the Creator of this world, to be (his) mom. He is part of me. He is part of our family. We have 3 sons. Do I understand God's plan? No… Do I like it? Ummm....again, that is a big, resounding "NO". But one thing I have learned through these 22 years...Just as real as grief is, so is the strength, grace and mercy of our God. And as much as I don't understand it or like it, I realize that sometimes we stand to learn the most from the things we understand the least. And I will choose to live with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Without that, I have no hope of seeing (him) again one day. I choose hope. Because of what Jesus has done, we absolutely WILL get to see our son again one day. Until then, I will continue on my journey, trying my best to make him proud and leaving a legacy for (him). Even though his life was short, it had meaning and purpose. And even though this separation is temporary, it still hurts. And I will forever be thankful that God chose me to be their mom
I can't add anything to that, so I won't.