Great issue/question. So many variables however.

For instance, you mention a meal plan, but also groceries. Other variables are cell phone bill, who pays for social, if you are so inclined, Uber rides, dates, scholarships (do they get the upside?) and the like.

What I did was different than what my kids do. Mistake on my part or not. Time will tell.

All that being said, to survive without debt? Rent, bills, $300 for groceries, gas, and a few meals out and whatever your family wants to allow for social?

My kids are 9 and 7 right now. My military benefits will pay for their college if they choose to go. They both have custodial accounts that will be significant when they reach age 18. During college, they can be stupid with it, or they can be responsible with it. There should be enough in there after college to purchase their first house, or at least have a significant down payment.

Basically, when they leave the house, they are on their own, financially. Right now, we're just trying to instill the right values of how money is a tool and how to properly use that tool.

EDIT: I'll also echo LOYALAG's sentiment about sending cash their way from time to time, or paying for everything when we're in town. I figure if you love your kids, that's something you would feel compelled to do.

my parents never gave me crap. luckily, A&M gives you whatever is left after all your scholarship money is applied to your first semester. they handed me a check for around $30k. I went out and bought a truck.

I didn't. His necessary expenses were covered. Anything he wanted for food/beer/etc came from his summer job/grandparents/etc. We took him, any buddies, his girlfriend out to eat when we came in and bought him the very rare things he asked for.

Many years ago now but... The deal was we would pay for tuition/fees and furnish a room at our house for them to stay. They both landed jobs on campus to pay for everything else... Kept them busy and they used their down time at work to study...

I worked 2 and 3 jobs to pay for mine. I came out with 20k in debt when I graduated,

My son (who went elsewhere), had his tuition, books, etc. paid, and he got an "allowance" of $400 monthly. His mother paid for two years, I paid for two. She took out student loans for this and I think she's at about $40k, but that's not my problem as she's my ex wife.

We put 2 kids through college. We paid their tuition, books, dorm, meal plan, car insurance, cell phone. Everything else was on them and they needed a job for spending money.

If they visited, we would put gas in their car.

My oldest is in 4th grade, but I can share what my parents did for me.

Parents paid for all school expenses & basic living expenses (rent, electric, water, phone, internet). For food and gas, they got a rewards credit card with me as an authorized user. The only thing allowed on that card was fuel in BCS or on my way to their house (and other vehicle expenses if needed- oil change, tires) and food from a grocery store. They got rewards points, and I git a start at a great credit score leaving college.

After my first year, I had to have a job to cover all other expenses and wants (clothes, eating out, alcohol, concerts, fuel to the beach, etc).

This was, of course, contingent on my taking a full course load each semester (they required over 12 hours, so usually 14-16), and passing grades.

Did they give me too much? Maybe. But I graduated early with no debt, a great credit score, some savings, and some great job references. I hope to do the same for my kids.

I've told my kids that we'll pay tuition, room, and board at a state university, minus $5000/year. This means our contribution is about $20K/years, since normal tuition+room+board at UT, A&M etc. is in the neighborhood of $25K. If they don't get any scholarships this leaves them with $5000/year direct costs plus some incidentals to cover if they live in the dorm--which requires some work but is not undoable. Our college kid this year is living in an apartment. Our contribution pretty much covers tuition and rent and she needs to come up with money for groceries and incidentals.

If they want to go to a private or out-of-state university, our contribution is the same and they then need to get scholarships to make it affordable. My goal is to make sure they have some skin in the game with their education and learn how to budget and save, but also aren't killing themselves trying to earn money instead of studying. It of course also encourages them to look for scholarships. I'm not sure the $5000 contribution from the kid is a good one size fits all amount. It probably depends on the kid, the availability of jobs, how intense their major is, etc., and I might rethink it for a year if one of the kids needed to do an unpaid summer internship or study abroad or something to that effect for their major. But, it's where we've settled for now.

Parents paid for rent/phone/insurance and a tiny tiny tiny bit of tuition. Food, fun, bills, gas, and everything else was on me. Worked at the golf course making about $400 a month. It was just enough to skate by (I interned every summer and came back with a flush account). If I came home my old man would slip me $100 or hide money in my truck and tell me where to look on a rainy day.

Didn't know how good I had it!

He told me the other day the best thing he ever did for me was having me out there mowing greens or raking bunkers at 6am in the cold. It sure was, no way I wasn't going to graduate with that as the alternative (haha).

Similar to what others are saying.

We cover all necessary expenses and she gets $100/week in spending money which includes groceries, but she also has a job so any more than that $100/week for "fun" or gas money is all on her as she doesn't "have" to drive anywhere.

This was a funny conversation/negotiation in our house. We have one in year 2 so pretty recent. I lost the battle and I'm honestly not sure exactly how much my wife funnels his way. She could work for the cartels with this sneaky shiz! I wanted zero but I think we landed on $300 per month so you can see how it went.

We are in agreement along the same lines as retired above except I secretly wouldn't mind an MIP. Our kiddo is super focused, engineering student that I wish would just cut loose every now and then. He has fun, goes to games, hangs out but if it comes down to studying or partying, that boy is hitting the books. Not my style but that's why he'll be richer than nine foot up a bulls ass one day!

Both kids know... no BS or MRS degrees, all stops upon graduation, and you are not moving back home once you walk across that stage.

I would say, let them struggle a little bit while you are still there as a safety net. They need to learn how to get themselves around and out of a jam. Also, one credit card (ours) for gas and emergency use only. Abuse it or open another and it's gone along with monthly allowance.

I gave my kid the option of $50/wk and I pay for groceries and gas, or $100/wk and she pays for groceries and gas. She lives in White Creek and has $1K in Aggie Bucks but no meal plan. She chose the $100 option and so far has been managing the money well.

Chiming in to say that even with differences in opinion, the time and care you put into each of these decisions indicates you are great parents.

My early years were rough, and I have lived on my own since I was 16. But dang if I was going to let it stop me. Valedictorian of my high school class, graduated TAMU Class of '16 in two years with no debt between scholarships and working. I graduated on a Friday and started my full time job the following Monday. Ten years on, I still work at the same place (a few promotions on).

All this to say, thank you for supporting your kids/Aggies. I hope they realize how grateful they should be, and that they can do it if they put their mind to it.

Edited to say: I have two children of my own now and have been saving for them since before they were born.