KNM2020 said:
AggiePetro07 said:
KNM2020,
Checking in on you. How are you?
Thank you for checking in!
4 weeks / 28 days today.
This is fantastic. I turned 59 in May. I was you before you stopped drinkng from the time I was 14 until January 8, 2017. I haven't touched a drop since that date. I claim no special will power or insights other than God simply gave me the grace of healing and took away my desire to drink.
Since then I have learned a lot about addiction. I got a certification in addiction counseling through my church and I have learned quite a bit from other sources about addiction generally and alcoholism specifically. Both my parents, now 80 and almost 84, are co-dependent alcoholics and have been for most of my life. I was a high functioning alcohol-lover for 35 years. I grew up and lived like drinking to excess was sort of normal. Heck, my parents did frequently and all my buddies did it too, starting in junior high school, so it all seemed perfectly acceptable. Got through high school getting drunk every weekend and then went to A&M and took it up a notch for 5 years. Went to law school and got it under control a bit, but still regularly drank to excess. Then when I got into legal practice it was practically a requirement of the job. Drinking with clients, drinking with fellow attorneys. Later drinking with in-house clients, especially the crude oil traders, who were maniacs. And so on and so on unti one day I woke up at 50 and realized that I really had not been sober for an extended period since I was a freshman in high school. How the heck did that happen? One drink at a time.
You have made the RIGHT decision to stop now. You are young and have a lot of life ahead of you. Going through life clear-headed and focused on the right things is a much better way to live.
I have two suggestions based on my personal experience and what I have learned:
1. Alcohol is not the problem. Alcohol is the solution (a very bad one) to the problem that lurks somewhere in your soul and your life to date. It may not be a big thing like being abused or experiencing serious trauma, but we all have things in our past that we like to avoid or not think about or from which we like to numb out. Give some serious thought to checking in with a counselor just to see what might be lurking below the surface that makes you prone to drinking to excess. It might be nothing and I don't want to make mountains out of mole hills, but my experience and what I have learned from others is that people who drink to excess are using alcohol to deal with something from their past that is impacting them presently.
2. The spiritual life. I do not intend to proselytize, but I will go so far as to suggest that unless you are an atheist, which is your business, then there is something spiritual in you that needs development. Consider trying to get more in touch with spirituality and a higher calling, something transcendent, something meaningful. If you happen to be a person of faith, lean into your faith and go deeper there, rather than deeper into the cooler for another beer.
Stay strong and realize that this isn't a control contest. You are smart to look for support and affirmation outside of yourself. Surround yourself with true friends who will support your sobriety, not mock it or make you feel "weird" for being sober.
Lastly, even if you don't think you need to do so, have a look at the 12 steps and just see if they interest you in any way. You don't necessarily have to go to an AA meeting to use the 12 steps. You can read them and see if they resonate with you. If they do, use them to build a strong sober foundation.
https://www.holdfastrecovery.com/blog/2020/october/12-steps-of-aa-and-na-explained-in-simple-terms/God bless you.