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My Attempt at Sobriety

10,561 Views | 76 Replies | Last: 7 mo ago by Tumble Weed
KNM2020
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GT_Aggie2015 said:

Will be two years for me on July 11th and still one of the hardest things I've done. Very hard to keep it going when you're out with friends or coworkers but the Heineken 0 and Ultra 0s taste so close to the real thing I don't even miss it most the time.


Congrats! Thats awesome. Those are the two NA's I have tried so far. Like both. Heineken better. I want to try Coors edge.
KNM2020
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Played another round today, nothing but Ultra 0's

Feels good coming home sober. Also had 7 pars today which is amazing for me. Actually the most I have ever had in a round. Only the 2nd round I have played since stopping alcohol. Coincidence? Idk but I doubt it
Pahdz
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Lots of hoppy waters out there too that are great refreshers
P.U.T.U
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And calorie free
txags92
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Hope you are doing well and staying strong heading into the weekend. I have never been a big drinker since college, but I admire people who can make a decision like this to make their life better.
KNM2020
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txags92 said:

Hope you are doing well and staying strong heading into the weekend. I have never been a big drinker since college, but I admire people who can make a decision like this to make their life better.



Thank you!

So far so good, 11 days
bigtruckguy3500
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AggieOO said:

Might be easier to just give up Aggie football. I'm pretty close to doing that.



But a more serious reply, hang in there and take control!
I don't drink at all. And never have. But if there's one thing that could drive me to drinking, it's probably Aggie Football. So you might be on to something.

On a more serious note though, congrats on deciding to go sober. I don't think I've ever met anyone that regretted it. It can get awkward when you attend gatherings where everyone is drinking. But eventually people realize you don't drink, and they stop trying to hand you alcohol.
KNM2020
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15 days, going for a round of golf this afternoon
KNM2020
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KNM2020 said:

15 days, going for a round of golf this afternoon


Shot a 95, not great, but I didn't crave a beer. Which is pretty awesome.
Discovery77
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Doing great! You got this!
Cromagnum
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Starting a dry June. Gotta get the body back in shape, and keep the check engine light off.
KNM2020
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3 weeks, 21 days
CC09LawAg
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How's your sleep?

3 weeks was about when I stopped "missing" it and my body could finally just fall asleep normally.
KNM2020
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CC09LawAg said:

How's your sleep?

3 weeks was about when I stopped "missing" it and my body could finally just fall asleep normally.



It's been good!

But I have to be honest, I have rarely had issues with sleep

Even when I binge drank, which was at least 2 times a week at times 3 or 4.
KNM2020
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Also, I haven't been missing it as much lately. But in 3 weeks is our beach vacation. That one is gonna be tough.
AW 1880
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Great job! Keep it up.

If you haven't read it, I recommend Discipline Equals Freedom by Jocko Willink. The audiobook is free on Spotify.
AggiePetro07
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KNM2020,

Checking in on you. How are you?
KNM2020
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AggiePetro07 said:

KNM2020,

Checking in on you. How are you?


Thank you for checking in!

4 weeks / 28 days today.
FTACo88-FDT24dad
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KNM2020 said:

AggiePetro07 said:

KNM2020,

Checking in on you. How are you?


Thank you for checking in!

4 weeks / 28 days today.
This is fantastic. I turned 59 in May. I was you before you stopped drinkng from the time I was 14 until January 8, 2017. I haven't touched a drop since that date. I claim no special will power or insights other than God simply gave me the grace of healing and took away my desire to drink.

Since then I have learned a lot about addiction. I got a certification in addiction counseling through my church and I have learned quite a bit from other sources about addiction generally and alcoholism specifically. Both my parents, now 80 and almost 84, are co-dependent alcoholics and have been for most of my life. I was a high functioning alcohol-lover for 35 years. I grew up and lived like drinking to excess was sort of normal. Heck, my parents did frequently and all my buddies did it too, starting in junior high school, so it all seemed perfectly acceptable. Got through high school getting drunk every weekend and then went to A&M and took it up a notch for 5 years. Went to law school and got it under control a bit, but still regularly drank to excess. Then when I got into legal practice it was practically a requirement of the job. Drinking with clients, drinking with fellow attorneys. Later drinking with in-house clients, especially the crude oil traders, who were maniacs. And so on and so on unti one day I woke up at 50 and realized that I really had not been sober for an extended period since I was a freshman in high school. How the heck did that happen? One drink at a time.

You have made the RIGHT decision to stop now. You are young and have a lot of life ahead of you. Going through life clear-headed and focused on the right things is a much better way to live.

I have two suggestions based on my personal experience and what I have learned:

1. Alcohol is not the problem. Alcohol is the solution (a very bad one) to the problem that lurks somewhere in your soul and your life to date. It may not be a big thing like being abused or experiencing serious trauma, but we all have things in our past that we like to avoid or not think about or from which we like to numb out. Give some serious thought to checking in with a counselor just to see what might be lurking below the surface that makes you prone to drinking to excess. It might be nothing and I don't want to make mountains out of mole hills, but my experience and what I have learned from others is that people who drink to excess are using alcohol to deal with something from their past that is impacting them presently.

2. The spiritual life. I do not intend to proselytize, but I will go so far as to suggest that unless you are an atheist, which is your business, then there is something spiritual in you that needs development. Consider trying to get more in touch with spirituality and a higher calling, something transcendent, something meaningful. If you happen to be a person of faith, lean into your faith and go deeper there, rather than deeper into the cooler for another beer.

Stay strong and realize that this isn't a control contest. You are smart to look for support and affirmation outside of yourself. Surround yourself with true friends who will support your sobriety, not mock it or make you feel "weird" for being sober.

Lastly, even if you don't think you need to do so, have a look at the 12 steps and just see if they interest you in any way. You don't necessarily have to go to an AA meeting to use the 12 steps. You can read them and see if they resonate with you. If they do, use them to build a strong sober foundation.

https://www.holdfastrecovery.com/blog/2020/october/12-steps-of-aa-and-na-explained-in-simple-terms/

God bless you.

KNM2020
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FTACo88-FDT24dad said:

KNM2020 said:

AggiePetro07 said:

KNM2020,

Checking in on you. How are you?


Thank you for checking in!

4 weeks / 28 days today.
This is fantastic. I turned 59 in May. I was you before you stopped drinkng from the time I was 14 until January 8, 2017. I haven't touched a drop since that date. I claim no special will power or insights other than God simply gave me the grace of healing and took away my desire to drink.

Since then I have learned a lot about addiction. I got a certification in addiction counseling through my church and I have learned quite a bit from other sources about addiction generally and alcoholism specifically. Both my parents, now 80 and almost 84, are co-dependent alcoholics and have been for most of my life. I was a high functioning alcohol-lover for 35 years. I grew up and lived like drinking to excess was sort of normal. Heck, my parents did frequently and all my buddies did it too, starting in junior high school, so it all seemed perfectly acceptable. Got through high school getting drunk every weekend and then went to A&M and took it up a notch for 5 years. Went to law school and got it under control a bit, but still regularly drank to excess. Then when I got into legal practice it was practically a requirement of the job. Drinking with clients, drinking with fellow attorneys. Later drinking with in-house clients, especially the crude oil traders, who were maniacs. And so on and so on unti one day I woke up at 50 and realized that I really had not been sober for an extended period since I was a freshman in high school. How the heck did that happen? One drink at a time.

You have made the RIGHT decision to stop now. You are young and have a lot of life ahead of you. Going through life clear-headed and focused on the right things is a much better way to live.

I have two suggestions based on my personal experience and what I have learned:

1. Alcohol is not the problem. Alcohol is the solution (a very bad one) to the problem that lurks somewhere in your soul and your life to date. It may not be a big thing like being abused or experiencing serious trauma, but we all have things in our past that we like to avoid or not think about or from which we like to numb out. Give some serious thought to checking in with a counselor just to see what might be lurking below the surface that makes you prone to drinking to excess. It might be nothing and I don't want to make mountains out of mole hills, but my experience and what I have learned from others is that people who drink to excess are using alcohol to deal with something from their past that is impacting them presently.

2. The spiritual life. I do not intend to proselytize, but I will go so far as to suggest that unless you are an atheist, which is your business, then there is something spiritual in you that needs development. Consider trying to get more in touch with spirituality and a higher calling, something transcendent, something meaningful. If you happen to be a person of faith, lean into your faith and go deeper there, rather than deeper into the cooler for another beer.

Stay strong and realize that this isn't a control contest. You are smart to look for support and affirmation outside of yourself. Surround yourself with true friends who will support your sobriety, not mock it or make you feel "weird" for being sober.

Lastly, even if you don't think you need to do so, have a look at the 12 steps and just see if they interest you in any way. You don't necessarily have to go to an AA meeting to use the 12 steps. You can read them and see if they resonate with you. If they do, use them to build a strong sober foundation.

https://www.holdfastrecovery.com/blog/2020/october/12-steps-of-aa-and-na-explained-in-simple-terms/

God bless you.




Thank you so much for this!
FTACo88-FDT24dad
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KNM2020 said:

FTACo88-FDT24dad said:

KNM2020 said:

AggiePetro07 said:

KNM2020,

Checking in on you. How are you?


Thank you for checking in!

4 weeks / 28 days today.
This is fantastic. I turned 59 in May. I was you before you stopped drinkng from the time I was 14 until January 8, 2017. I haven't touched a drop since that date. I claim no special will power or insights other than God simply gave me the grace of healing and took away my desire to drink.

Since then I have learned a lot about addiction. I got a certification in addiction counseling through my church and I have learned quite a bit from other sources about addiction generally and alcoholism specifically. Both my parents, now 80 and almost 84, are co-dependent alcoholics and have been for most of my life. I was a high functioning alcohol-lover for 35 years. I grew up and lived like drinking to excess was sort of normal. Heck, my parents did frequently and all my buddies did it too, starting in junior high school, so it all seemed perfectly acceptable. Got through high school getting drunk every weekend and then went to A&M and took it up a notch for 5 years. Went to law school and got it under control a bit, but still regularly drank to excess. Then when I got into legal practice it was practically a requirement of the job. Drinking with clients, drinking with fellow attorneys. Later drinking with in-house clients, especially the crude oil traders, who were maniacs. And so on and so on unti one day I woke up at 50 and realized that I really had not been sober for an extended period since I was a freshman in high school. How the heck did that happen? One drink at a time.

You have made the RIGHT decision to stop now. You are young and have a lot of life ahead of you. Going through life clear-headed and focused on the right things is a much better way to live.

I have two suggestions based on my personal experience and what I have learned:

1. Alcohol is not the problem. Alcohol is the solution (a very bad one) to the problem that lurks somewhere in your soul and your life to date. It may not be a big thing like being abused or experiencing serious trauma, but we all have things in our past that we like to avoid or not think about or from which we like to numb out. Give some serious thought to checking in with a counselor just to see what might be lurking below the surface that makes you prone to drinking to excess. It might be nothing and I don't want to make mountains out of mole hills, but my experience and what I have learned from others is that people who drink to excess are using alcohol to deal with something from their past that is impacting them presently.

2. The spiritual life. I do not intend to proselytize, but I will go so far as to suggest that unless you are an atheist, which is your business, then there is something spiritual in you that needs development. Consider trying to get more in touch with spirituality and a higher calling, something transcendent, something meaningful. If you happen to be a person of faith, lean into your faith and go deeper there, rather than deeper into the cooler for another beer.

Stay strong and realize that this isn't a control contest. You are smart to look for support and affirmation outside of yourself. Surround yourself with true friends who will support your sobriety, not mock it or make you feel "weird" for being sober.

Lastly, even if you don't think you need to do so, have a look at the 12 steps and just see if they interest you in any way. You don't necessarily have to go to an AA meeting to use the 12 steps. You can read them and see if they resonate with you. If they do, use them to build a strong sober foundation.

https://www.holdfastrecovery.com/blog/2020/october/12-steps-of-aa-and-na-explained-in-simple-terms/

God bless you.




Thank you so much for this!
You're very welcome. If you ever want to discuss please feel free to PM me.
BlueHeeler
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I wanted to add in terms of what I recently did after finding out I have fairly significant coronary artery disease. I have cut way back to only 2-3 drinks a weekend. I do allow myself to drink more (4-6 in one night) when friends come over, but that is only once every 2-3 months. In my opinion, the way to sustain this is moderation. My problem used to be that if I drank 1-2 it turned into 6-8. You can train yourself away from that behavior.
ATM9000
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Bonfire97 said:

I wanted to add in terms of what I recently did after finding out I have fairly significant coronary artery disease. I have cut way back to only 2-3 drinks a weekend. I do allow myself to drink more (4-6 in one night) when friends come over, but that is only once every 2-3 months. In my opinion, the way to sustain this is moderation. My problem used to be that if I drank 1-2 it turned into 6-8. You can train yourself away from that behavior.

Anybody else raise their eyebrow at a post about 'moderation' in a sobriety thread that suggests 4-6 drink nights?
CC09LawAg
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How long have you been doing this?

I'm sure this post was made with good intentions but most who have been in this situation and successfully navigated it would likely disagree with you.

I'd go so far as to say most who have navigated it have tried that approach and it might work for 3-6 months but it's never a long term solution.
Serotonin
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Glad Bonfire97 found something that feels workable. For others who have struggled (esp anyone who's ever lost control after 'just a couple') abstinence is def the way to go.

Why? Because white knuckling moderation to beat brain circuitry would work about as well as an 18 year old guy up and leaving a heavy romantic encounter with a supermodel right before fruition.

That ain't happening for 99% of people. You're on autopilot at that point and thinking about one thing.
BlueHeeler
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Quote:

Anybody else raise their eyebrow at a post about 'moderation' in a sobriety thread that suggests 4-6 drink nights?
4-6 drinks in one night every 3 months? How is that eyebrow raising? This certainly would not be considered any level of drinking that would cause major health issues. I guess everything is relative.

To answer the other question, I have been doing this since last September. So, about 9.5 months. I was just trying to throw this out there as an option, as it has worked for me and just assumed it could work for others.

Just another thought. When I do drink with others and have 4-6 beers, it now feels like I drank a 12 pack and I don't even feel like I could drink anymore than that. Because my alcohol tolerance is so low now.
ATM9000
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Bonfire97 said:

Quote:

Anybody else raise their eyebrow at a post about 'moderation' in a sobriety thread that suggests 4-6 drink nights?
4-6 drinks in one night every 3 months? How is that eyebrow raising? This certainly would not be considered any level of drinking that would cause major health issues. I guess everything is relative.


Despite how it sounds, I'm not judging… but 4-6 drinks in a night, is a binge. So basically… your message is practice moderation… and allow yourself a binge every so often. A binge isn't moderation in the slightest.
Cromagnum
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I've tried the "only drinking on weekends" thing, which turned into "only a couple of nights a week" which turned into "only 1-2 drinks a night". It's a very slippery slope.

Right now im two weeks stone cold sober, shooting for two months before I allow myself anything for my birthday. My goal is to allow myself 1-2 drinks only on special occasions and see if I can refrain from getting back to bad habits.
FTACo88-FDT24dad
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I think the larger, more important question is "why are you drinking?" Alcohol is a solution to an underlying problem. It's generally a bad solution because it solves nothing but still, it's not THE problem.

Why do you drink? Be honest about the answer to that question. Start there.
aggiejim70
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I've been reading these posts with a great deal of fascination. If I don't drink and don't die before 26 August, I'll celebrate 34 1/2 years sober in AA. The vast majority of these posts remind me of a line from the Big Book of AA. I'm too lazy to look it up, so this an approximate quote. "The obsession of every abnormal drinker is somehow, someday, he's going to learn how to control and enjoy his drinking". That nailed me. In my quarter century of drinking, from high school into my forties, if I enjoyed it, I didn't control it, if I controlled it, I didn't enjoy it.

Quitting for good and all was the best option for me.
The person that is not willing to fight and die, if need be, for his country has no right to life.

James Earl Rudder '32
January 31, 1945
FTACo88-FDT24dad
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aggiejim70 said:

I've been reading these posts with a great deal of fascination. If I don't drink and don't die before 26 August, I'll celebrate 34 1/2 years sober in AA. The vast majority of these posts remind me of a line from the Big Book of AA. I'm too lazy to look it up, so this an approximate quote. "The obsession of every abnormal drinker is somehow, someday, he's going to learn how to control and enjoy his drinking". That nailed me. In my quarter century of drinking, from high school into my forties, if I enjoyed it, I didn't control it, if I controlled it, I didn't enjoy it.

Quitting for good and all was the best option for me.


Wisdom.
KNM2020
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I screwed up yesterday.

Time to restart the count. Day 1 is almost complete (again). Definitely regret it.
FTACo88-FDT24dad
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KNM2020 said:

I screwed up yesterday.

Time to restart the count. Day 1 is almost complete (again). Definitely regret it.


Regret is progress. Keep looking forward.

Have you glanced at the 12 steps just to see what they're all about?
CC09LawAg
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Next go, try to beat this streak…and if it happens again after that, you beat the next one…eventually you'll look up and you've gone a year without it.

If you have been skipping on working out, get back on that wagon and hold yourself accountable. If you're physically pushing yourself and setting goals, the desire to have "just one night" go way down because you'll know your workout won't happen and/or it'll be awful if you try.
txags92
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KNM2020 said:

I screwed up yesterday.

Time to restart the count. Day 1 is almost complete (again). Definitely regret it.
It isn't a failure. It is just a chance to start over and do it better this time. Own it and move on with a lesson learned.
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