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these young bucks don't know. You gotta remember a lot of these NBA players aren't even old enough to drink when they get in the league; they're still babies. They've been coddled their entire life, all through school and college, and now they get out in the real world with a pocket full of cash and every type of girl you could imagine trying to pull your sweatpants off. See, before you got that contract, while you were in school, you were just a prospect. You probably got a lot of attention from women, but your success wasn't a guarantee. Once you start pulling in them bucks, the type of women you encounter drastically change. Straight up jaw droppers wherever you turn. That's not an accident.
These kids don't understand that once you're in the real world, sex becomes a business move, for both parties. Even for us mortals, money is a big factor in your sex life. I don't care who you are, you know that **** is important. (Protip from Uncle Snuggie: if you got money, just don't **** broke *****es. Just don't, change your phone number if you have to. Move to the other side of the country to somewhere broke *****es cant afford to go. They will ruin everything I don't care how pretty they are get a ***** with some capital. That's real ****. Get a Kim Kardashian. She stupid and probably can't read but she got money and won't take that much from you in divorce proceedings because of that. Be with someone who can throw in the pot too.)
The Dwight Howard's of the world don't understand that there's a price tag hanging off his nutsack. Dwight Howard is easily shelling out 6 figures a year per baby mama. (The **** you need 100k a year to raise a baby? I could raise my whole hood 6 times with that kind of paper all babies need is somethin to rattle and someone to wipe they ass) That's more money than most of us will ever make in our lives, even those of us with professional and graduate degrees. 18 years, 18 years, she got one of yo kids, got you for 18 years.
I think every citizen, NBA or not, should know how divorce/family laws work, especially if you ever **** around and get paid. You find out how much Uncle Sam will take out of your pocket cause you wanted to **** raw and it'll turn you into a nun; keep your dick on a leash kid.
When you're young and naive if you believe in **** like the purity of "love" and all that other liberal hippie crap Disney shoves down your throat as a child you can fall victim to a big butt and a smile quite easily.
That's real ****
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Whats good, its ya boy yung snugga, the big lova, here to talk to you kids about some real ****. If you ain't in the mood for the realness on this fine Wednesday afternoon I would suggest you get up from your seat and find your way to the nearest exit because this is a playa's only gathering. Champagne and lemonade in this mother ****er, step ya game up.
The internet is abuzz today with news that Indiana Pacers star Paul George got caught up in a paternity scandal. Now this is nothing new; it's almost a requirement at this point in the game that every big NBA star get the side chick pregnant. They don't even consider you for the HOF unless you got a couple crusty headed barefoot illegitimates walkin around, that's how ****ed up it is out here.
Having a side chick(s) in the NBA is almost par for the course, but for some reason these guys cannot understand that the game is rigged against them. Now as yall already know, I got a PhD in these hoes, so I'm gonna take you kids play-by-play on where my mans PG went wrong, and where you little nut huggers need to take notes:
PG, my man, how you get a stripper pregnant - Come on son, that's some day one ****. Strippers are walking thirst traps for an NBA player like you; especially them south florida joints (AND you got a joint from Tootsie's: you couldn't spring for a KOD girl? Smh you ain't ballin PG ***** you broke). A lot of strippers prostitute on the side, that's nothing new. But just because she's a professional doesn't mean that you can now put your guard down. She was a prostitute allllll the way up until the point where you decided you wanted to go raw, and right in that moment she switched professions from stripper to professional baby mama. Now she on instagram straight stuntin on you my dude. Postin baby bumps, baby shower pictures, just ****in with you at this point. I feel for you my *****, I really do. But you ****ed up, hard, and now you gotta pay the consequences.
If you get the side chick pregnant, no amount of money up front is going to make her abort it - Apparently PG offered shorty a millie up front to drop that thun dun dun and get an abortion. That's an act of desperation; you know you're ****ed. She's not stupid, she can do math, a million today ain't nothin like 25% of your income for the next two decades. She know you just signed that $90 million extension, believe that. If you was a D-Leaguer maybe you'd have more leverage. Unless you bout to throw this ***** down a flight of stairs (which I would highly suggest against), that baby is coming. AND its gonna be ugly. Good looks skip a generation oooo you mad
Not only did you cheat on your girl, your girl was DOC RIVERS' DAUGHTER - Now this is where the story crosses into “bruh” territory. First of all, Doc Rivers' daughter bad as ****. She a keeper son; she come from good people, she getting her education, she don't be out here in these streets, she a good girl. That's probably why you went and got some skripper. Young boy, the **** wrong with you. When you got a good girl you don't do **** like that. Good girls don't come by NBA players often; 9 outta 10 you getting some money hungry thots on your D all the time and the one halfway decent keeper you **** around and get some other ***** pregnant. And I HIGHLY doubt she gonna stick around, cause she bad as **** and some other ***** like Lance Stephenson gonna come and be that shoulder to cry on and evolve into the rebound, so you mad AGAIN. And now you done really ****ed up cause Doc Rivers gonna beat your ass too. That next Pacers/Clippers game gonna be hilarious. Doc gonna let his whole bench foul out just whoopin yo ass son, you done ****ed up. Everybody gonna whoop yo ass, Blake Griffin gonna whoop yo ass, Deandre gonna whoop yo ass, hell even JJ Reddick might get in a cheap shot or two.
You shaqtin-a-fool for this one PG. I know you young and you probably didn't know it was like this out here in these streets, but now you've learned the hard way. You woulda thought you would of learned from D-Wade, and from Dwight, and from alllllllllll these dudes get caught up. But no. The power of the ***** was too strong, and now you gonna have to pay for that ****. Ain't no ***** worth that much money kids, I don't care if its diamond encrusted and does Paul Wall's verse in “Still Tippin” in queefs. Not worth it kid, you dun goofed.
Keep it in ya pants.
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man I could make stupid paper hittin *****s upside the head
the main thing dudes do is they **** with dumb *****es. get yourself a smart chick and you wont have this problem. go get yourself a chick with some money, a chick bout somethin that ain't just about livin off another *****, a ***** with some serious contributions to society. She don't wanna get pregnant she got a real job she can't do that. Now I ain't saying strippers don't contribute to society or aren't good people; they are. But in your profession as an NBA player you can't afford to be out here bein captain save-a-hoe. You can't be Richard Gere in Pretty Woman, that movie ****ed *****s up forever. Gave *****s the impression that these hoes can be saved. They cant man, they cant
And professional girls is freaks too, don't think just cause she got a real job that the ***** aint as good as one of these hofessionals. These hoes just dress it up better but ***** is *****. Before you **** you need to grab a piece of paper and make shorty do some long division; if the ***** dont know her binomials she needs to get the **** up outta your hotel.
Go get yourself some wall street *****. Get some Google *****, go hang out in silicon valley and just kill em. If you **** within your tax bracket you won't have this problem because they won't be trying to take your money because they got they own.
but naahhh these dumb ass *****s wanna **** "bad *****es" and strippers n **** man **** that go get a tina fey lookin ***** and shut up
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she probably had a fat ass
I feel like that whole situation could've gone down diplomatically if she didn't have a fat ass like if me and you got a dispute over a girl, usually guys won't come to blows over some **** like that. I mean how many times have you seen the story where two dudes find out they're sleeping with the same girl, then they team up on the girl and expose her and become best friends after that? We try to be as logical as possible when its pimp on pimp. Sometimes you cross streams, it happens. Handle yourself like a gent[le]sir and you'll be aight.
Only time I've ever seen pimps get violent with each other is when the ass is fat. If shawty got a fat ass, you might get stabbed in the middle of the street. A ***** might run up on you while you at yo grandma house and shoot your dog. *****s might **** on your doorstep on some Billy Madison type ****. Dudes take the ass personally, its not just business after that. Once you put your face in between them cheeks its like going to another dimension; its like when that astronaut went to Jupiter in 2001 a space oddessey and lived his whole life and died and reached out for the monolith n ****; that monolith represented the booty.
That's why there's so much violence in the black and latin communities; because there's so much ass in the black and latin communities. Get a chart, and make a correlation between the size of the asses and the amount of violence. There's no violence in Switzerland because none of them bony white girls got any ass, but there's so much ass in Africa that even little kids pickin up guns and shootin each other with that ***** Kony who ran for president.
