Need advice from experienced parents (select ball)

11,268 Views | 87 Replies | Last: 10 yr ago by TAMU1990
BTHOthatguy
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AG
My son is an 8U player. He's ok. Good not great. He's undersized for his age.

He is currently on a team that is below average but he plays middle infield and bats 3rd. We could move him to a better team but he would play outfield and bat 8 or 9.

He's a kid that hates to lose more than he enjoys winning.

Is he better off playing with a team where he is "the guy" or playing with a team where he wins rings?

My thought was put him with the coach that is most interested in developing him as a player. But he gets so upset losing I'm worried he will fall out of love with the game all together?
94chem
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Do you follow any college or pro teams together? I learned about losing by listening to Aggie basketball games with my dad when I was about 6 - 7 years old. One night I cried after the Ags lost a close one, and dad said we couldn't listen to games any more if I was gonna cry. That was the last time I ever cried about my team losing a game.

tl/dr version - Your son needs to experience losing more, and learn how to deal with it...the sooner the better. I didn't even cry after game 6 (Rangers), even though part of my soul is still fluttering aimlessly in the stratosphere.
10andBOUNCE
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AG
At 8 years old, it's all about developing as a player, competing and having fun. His biggest risk to falling out of love is the nature of select ball and playing year round. I'd recommend him playing other sports as well if he isn't to continue his overall athletic development.

At the end of the day, if he truly is "the guy" on a lesser team, he should be able to eventually find a nice sweet spot of playing where he wants to play and also being on a competitive team.
tdm89
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There can be huge differences in the development of players that has nothing to do with winning rings. You need to ask several questions:

Are they winning rings because they are sandbagging and playing down in competition?

What level are they playing? At 8U, you only have select/AA or elite/AAA. If moving to the better team means playing at the higher level, then it's probably a good move. If it's just a good team beating up on lesser teams, then it may not be a good move.

Are they rotating players in the field, even if it means losing some games?

Next year, how are they going to handle pitching? Are they going to pitch the heck out of their studs (and potentially ruin their arms), or are they going to try to develop nearly every kid on the team as a pitcher, even if it costs them some games?

What matters the most is the perspective of the coaches and their goals. If their goals are to win a bunch of tournaments, then I'd stay away. If their goals are to develop players and get them ready for HS ball, then I'd say you found a good spot.

My oldest son is a freshman, and his teams growing up were usually playing a level above their talent level. We lost a lot of games. We won very few trophies. But, at 14, I can confidently say he is ready to compete for a spot, and he knows how to handle himself on the field, especially in the face of adversity.
Texker
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AG
Have coached baseball for years so have some experience with this. Being "the guy" on a team can lead to a player being selfish and arrogant. He's 8. Be supportive and keep it fun. Baseball is a game of failure so he needs to learn how to handle and respond to failure on both a team and personal level.

8u playing select ball doesn't qualify them for jack. It's a marathon, not a sprint.
BTHOthatguy
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AG
Thanks for the advice guys! I'll keep him where he is and focus on teaching him how to take the good with the bad.
HECUBUS
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AG
My only good advice is to read "The Mental Game of Baseball".

I've seen all kinds of kid/parent combinations. Like most everything with kids growing up, outside of extreme cases, they are going to be a ball player or not regardless of their crazy parents.

Another observation, all baseball parents are crazy.

- baseball parent
AustinCountyAg
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better question is why is an 8 year old playing select ball? That blows my mind.
BTHOthatguy
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AG
Because league ball in our area is awful.

Every kid plays. Every kid sits, regardless of skill level.

You have many kids that are playing ball for the first time that don't know the basics of the game. (Throwing , catching, hitting, etc.) It's not much fun for a more experienced player to have to "play down" with his teammates.

Number of games. League ball gets you 8 - 10 total games. His select team plays every other weekend in the spring and fall.

BTHOthatguy
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AG
And for those who asked, he plays basketball as well (league)
and is on 2 UIL academic teams.
HECUBUS
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AG
Playing down is harder than playing up, but a good chance to practice being a leader. My 9th grade 14 year old plays 16U and has been playing high school upperclassmen level since the summer. Recently, he had to play on a mixed 8th and 9th grade team for the last three and next two games.

For us it was cool to play with some of his old LL teammates. Man what a difference in level there is after a year in select compared to the kids that spent that year in Poney. Our's was the only 7th grader on the Williamsport team, all his old LL teammates are a grade behind. I can also see that most of those old LL all star teammates are going to develop into some really good ball players. All of them spent the Fall in select, so none of them are slouches and every one of them has been a grinder since day one, making all the voluntary SAQ workouts, etc. (that we highly recommended).

Hate when I accidentally post before finishing, and work gets in the way...d8)
AustinCountyAg
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quote:
Because league ball in our area is awful.

Every kid plays. Every kid sits, regardless of skill level.

You have many kids that are playing ball for the first time that don't know the basics of the game. (Throwing , catching, hitting, etc.) It's not much fun for a more experienced player to have to "play down" with his teammates.

Number of games. League ball gets you 8 - 10 total games. His select team plays every other weekend in the spring and fall.


ok. fair enough....I was just hoping this wasn't some 8 year old select team that play every weekend of the year traveling all over the state
Dale Gribble
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I have a similar experience to yours... I have a 9 year old that has played on a great team where he batted 6-7th most of the time and played OF/2B and he's now on a team that is average and he is getting to bat 3-4th most of the time and plays SS the majority of games.

I think truthfully he enjoyed both, but it seemed like he had more fun with the team that won less, because he got to play more.

I've also had the discussion with him that he does not need to worry about wins/losses at his age. Basically told him that he can't control what team he is on and whether the players around him play great or not so great, and to be concerned more with his own performance. Improvement and development are the goals, basically control what you can control.

His confidence really improved when he was able to see the results in his own game vastly improve from beginning of the year til end, and especially year over year.
94chem
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quote:
2 UIL academic teams

What does that mean? I have had 5 kids in elementary school. Did we miss Lincoln-Douglass debate for 6 year olds or something?
BTHOthatguy
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AG
http://www.uiltexas.org/aplus
94chem
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Thanks - don't think we have that in Kingwood/Humble.
DannyDuberstein
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AG
Depends on the kid, but I'd go with whatever he finds more fun. Lay the cards on the table and get his input on which he'd rather do.
HECUBUS
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AG
Amazing that your kids are so into baseball at such an early age. Our's didn't think much of it until he escaped daddyball and got to pitch a lot at age ten.
HECUBUS
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AG
We just did the FCA Clinic. They lined up a bunch of coaches to speak to the parents. I would highly reccomend this clinic for parents with young players. They had several 30+ year high school coaches and college coaches that each took a twenty minute session with the parents.

1) don't over praise your player
1b) don't criticize your player, get it next time
2) don't have your kid playing for you
3) it's a game, keep it fun
4) select isn't select any more, it doesn't matter which select, be a grinder
5) kids have more fun playing with their friends
6) being an athlete is important, strength and blue collar work ethic goes farther than talent
7) grades first 10/35 college players are non scholarship and have to academically qualify, not just NCAA min like scholarship players.

One thing new that I learned:
The minimum college baseball scholarship is 25% now. Baseball gets 12.7 scholarships today.

I find it weird that the select teams push the colleges and even MLB scouts on freshmen high school kids who haven't even made the freshman team yet. However, colleges are making offers to high school freshmen these days, so I guess it's good to know.
Eagle2020
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AG
I have a son that is now in high school and has played a lot of baseball. If the goal is for him to continue to get better, he needs to be around better players. I would have him on the best select team that will take him. It's not about winning rings now. It's about getting better. Being around good players and being motivated by their good play will prepare him for when his body starts maturing.
ramirez78
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I'vemy son wants to start pitching. How do you go about selecting a pitching motion? I'm assuming you want a motion that works well and is smooth. We tried mike mussinas motion, but are now trying Nolan Ryan's deliveryto use his legs more and less stress on the arm.
DannyDuberstein
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AG
Agree that playing around better players usually helps them improve. But at the same time, at 7-8 years old, improvement isn't that useful if by age 12 baseball has become like eating vegetsbles or taking out the trash. I see the word grinder above. Grinder and 8U do not belong in the same sentence. Being challenged is great, but at that age, i think an approach that builds self-confidence and passion for the game will take them the furthest. That doesn't mean the easier league is the preferred option, but i do think the answer varies by kid.

Phil Garner
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quote:
We just did the FCA Clinic. They lined up a bunch of coaches to speak to the parents. I would highly reccomend this clinic for parents with young players. They had several 30+ year high school coaches and college coaches that each took a twenty minute session with the parents.

1) don't over praise your player
1b) don't criticize your player, get it next time
2) don't have your kid playing for you
3) it's a game, keep it fun
4) select isn't select any more, it doesn't matter which select, be a grinder
5) kids have more fun playing with their friends
6) being an athlete is important, strength and blue collar work ethic goes farther than talent
7) grades first 10/35 college players are non scholarship and have to academically qualify, not just NCAA min like scholarship players.

One thing new that I learned:
The minimum college baseball scholarship is 25% now. Baseball gets 12.7 scholarships today.

I find it weird that the select teams push the colleges and even MLB scouts on freshmen high school kids who haven't even made the freshman team yet. However, colleges are making offers to high school freshmen these days, so I guess it's good to know.


College coaches don't give a crap about freshmen in HS unless the player is one of the best 10 freak athletes in the nation. That player doesn't need to be on any particular team or pushed by anyone. MLB scouts care about hs freshmen even less. Whoever told you that is flat wrong, regardless of their resume. Not knocking you. Now, if they said select coaches are pushing freshmen, okay, but that doesn't mean the scouts listen or care.

Good gosh the misinformation and hype out there is rediculous.
HECUBUS
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AG
I was too hasty, I didn't want to write a book on my phone. Clearly my hasty message was left open for gross misinterpretation and it was.

I find it weird that freshmen are even invited to these things, even if any freshmen get scholarship offers anywhere. These showcase events are useless for most fourteen year olds. I can see that it is good to know what goes on and the reality of college baseball and that's why select programs invite the freshmen. However, getting rated by MLB scouts and college coaches is useless for a fourteen year old. The college coaches, even at nothing schools brag about how many times a week they say no. Even high school coaches don't care about the freshmen in their own program. I thought the college recruiting realities presentation our program did was enough and participating in these "events" was too much.

The only thought we ever had about baseball and college was how the entrance requirements are lower if you play baseball at schools like Columbia and Harvard. Ours is only fourteen, it's a long way from fourteen to College baseball. He's got the grades and test scores (so far) for any college, if the beer truck doesn't run him over.

Probably most misinformation is from wild interpretations of poorly worded communications. Sorry for contributing.
Phil Garner
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My frustration isn't you or your post. The whole thing is frustrating. I live in the world you are speaking about. It's a world that creates great insecurities. The most insecure are the type A parents. Perfect game and the like, Bandits and the like, exploit this and make money and build their businesses off the fears of those scared they haven't put all their chips on the table.

Message to parents...if your kid is good enough the scouts will find him. Meanwhile, put him on a team focused on development, led by quality human beings. That is the formula for a better player and person. If he is good and playing in half decent events, some offers will be in by the fall of his junior year. If he is better than just good, it will happen earlier, but travelling the nation will only excellerate the process by a few weeks or a few days. Not worth the money.

If you have to travel the nation to get scouted, what does that say about your player?

Alright, I don't want to write a book either.

Summary for parents: Chill, if he is good the scouts will find him. If you have to travel the nation, think about what that says about your player...even if you disagree.
HECUBUS
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AG
True. There are dads too nervous to attend freshman tryouts. I know one dad who employs three coaches on the high school baseball team to coach his kid hoping that will buy influence. The kid does select also. Insane. I met one of these characters and he was selling his $50 per group batting sessions and hinting that he could help get your son on the team.

Our program has the college coaches travel to their facility. The showcase event with MLB was in SanAntonio, we're in Austin and don't usually travel out of the area. The travel increases every year. I doubt we would ever attend another showcase event unless there are games involved, which there usually are. Where we apply our crazy parent input is to point out that you only need a 3.4 to get into Columbia if you make the baseball team. Our son has no desire to go Ivy. I like that our program shares the letters from college coaches, stressing the importance of grades and the benefit of playing a sport. All the college coaches stress grades also.

We are lucky, ours is self motivated. We stepped out of baseball decisions when he was in middle school and completely out of academics in high school. (Got mom to stop checking his grades/assignments.) What ever he does achieve is 100% his.

If it was up to me, Imight have fired his select program the first fall season. However, I do realize I'm just another crazy baseball parent and knowing that allows me to give all those decisions to the boy. It's a shock (for parents) to go from programs built to win to programs built to develop. I see the boy is having fun, even with the grinding part and we can put on a highlight video from the glory days in LL and all we see is how bad his pitching form and batting mechanics were.
TAMU1990
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AG
Some comments I agree with:

It's a marathon not a sprint.
Development over winning - especially hyper competitive teams that will only bat 9 and players play one position.
Get out of daddy ball - at any age.
No team hopping/trophy hunting
No reputable team plays between Thanksgiving and Valentines.
Younger kids get 6-8 consecutive weeks off in June/July/August; older kids 4 weeks

My sons have played with the same outfit for years. It's a developmentally focus academy until high school. HS is all about being recruited and playing in showcase events. They protect younger arms (we willing to lose a game by pulling a pitcher when he hits his pitch count), everyone gets a chance to pitch when they are young, we bat the roster until HS, we don't play to win until Sunday (which means we will pitch someone or play a kid in a different position to develop on Saturday regardless if they win or not), and we are willing to play up even if it means we won't win.

My sister lives in Dallas and the youth baseball scene is crazy there. The team hopping starts before the season is even complete. You see players with 2-3 teams a year. Get with an outfit that will develop their players and the core of the team remains the same. I personally prefer that my sons are pushed - whether he does that himself by creating goals or that he isn't the best player on the team. The worst thing for my youngest would be for him to be the best player because he needs the chase. He feeds off the kids that he sees as his peers and performs well. My older son could play for any team. His temperament is even and can take the punches or successes with a level head.

94chem
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Having 6 kids means I don't have to worry about this stuff. It makes me kind of sad to think about it, because every male on my family for 5 generations has been a ballplayer. How do you go about playing on a seasonal local team, then maybe playing in HS? Is every sport requiring Olympic training for pre-pubescent kids?
HECUBUS
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AG
Yes, plus holding your kid back a year, getting to know the coaches three years ahead of high school and employing every coach on the team for private lessons in addition to joining an approved select program.

If that is the case we have failed. I expect our head coach wants to win baseball games and wants to put the best players on the team. A lot of baseball careers end every Spring. That's baseball.
HECUBUS
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AG
One more irrelevant comment: the parental crazyness is exactly what separates our ISD from the rest.

The "all chips on the table" mentality is in academics also. All our son's friends take classes in the summer and tutor year round to catch up to the kids in accelerated classes. Grades get a 1.2 multiplyer for AP, 1.1 for preAP and the top ten percent is 108+ for their four year average.

This raises SAT scores, fills seats in AP classrooms and helps the ISD's ranking. Crazy parents aren't all bad.
94chem
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So strange, probably explains why the academic elites in this country are increasingly incapable of creative thought, and increasingly prone to mental illness. At least the athletic scholarships usually send you to 2nd or 3rd tier schools that are outside of the Pavlovian meritocracy.
94chem
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Parents worth 7 figures chasing athletic schollies to places they'd never want to go. Kind of like Donald Trump fighting over necco wafers from a broken pinata.
94chem
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Final thought - this must be a reason why so many kids play football.
HECUBUS
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AG
I don't know any parents chasing scholarships, but I know a few who would sell their sole if it got Jr on the high school baseball team.

After the first semester freshman year, most of them are out of the running for top ten percent. Now it's time for SAT tutoring.
HECUBUS
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AG
Yes, football takes everyone. That doesn't mean they'll get any playing time though. Football parents are just as crazy as baseball parents, but they also never miss a chance to yell something negative at their kid.

There is one select team here where all the football kids play. We play them a lot and it's sad on several levels. The kids play like a bad little league team and the dads wear them selves out yelling their fail. It gets ugly fast. Sad.
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