spending 3ish days there next month. any must do-s or recommendations?

I live in Berlin and happy to provide tips. What kind of stuff are you into?

ideally we'd like to see / visit the key historic places or museums as much as possible related to the war or the wall. beyond that, any top food recs are welcomed along with any other nice coffee shops or interesting things worth checking out!

admittedly i have done zero research so far but i will start doing a bit soon myself

Not sure where you're staying, but I will give you few tips based on the more popular neighborhoods:

Mitte - Middle part of the city and where a lot of the historical landmarks and museums are.

• Museum Insel (Museum Island): Has the Humboldt Forum and Neues/Altes Museum. Unfortunately, the Pergamon Museum is mostly closed, but the Panorama will re-open later this month. It's more or less a digitial recreation of the old Acropolis. The Berliner Dom is also located on the island if churches are your thing.
• Brandenburger Tor: arguably the most famous/identifiable landmark in the city. The city was once surrounded by these gates where they controlled the comings and going of the city, this is the most famous one and only one still standing. It's where Reagan gave his "Tear down this wall!" speech.
• Bundestag: this is where the parliament meets. If you book tickets ahead of time, you can go up to the top and walk around. It's a cool building.
• Natural History Museum: admittedly, I have not been, but I've heard great things. It's very close to the Hauptbahnhof.
• Mauerpark is also located in Mitte. It's maybe a mile or a mile and a half of the original wall that is still standing with some placards that explain what was going on at the time.
• Hamburger Bahnhof: contemporary art museum.
• DDR Museum and Topography of Terror are both in Mitte. One focuses on DDR life, one focuses on war crimes of by the Nazis.
• Checkpoint Charlie is pretty touristy and famous. It's was the crossing point from the DDR into US-controlled West Berlin.

For food and drink in this neighborhood I would recommend walking down Oranienburgerstr., Torstr., or somewhere in Hackescher Hof. There's a lot of really popular shopping in this area as well. Great cocktail bar in Mitte called Mr. Susan. Really good bakery called SOFI. (German bread is easily the best in Europe and I will die on that hill.) There's an Augustiner Keller over there if you want german food. Also great gelato at Cuore di Vetro. I think the neighborhood around Zionskirche is really pretty, too. The Barn is arguably the best coffee in the city and has 2 or 3 locations in Mitte. The Greens Coffee and Plants is a charming little spot to have a bite to eat as well.

Prenzlauer Berg is a very cool neighborhood, more quiet and family oriented but great places to eat if you're staying there. The KaFe or 44 Brekkie for breakfast. Wen Cheng and Banh Xeo Saigon are good asian restaurants. For pizza, I recommend Standart.

Friedrichshain is in old East Berlin. The architecture on Karl Marx Allee is really neat. The Stasi Museum on this side of the city is highly recommended as well. It gives an idea of how surveillance and spy craft was done back then. There's an area in this neighborhood called Boxhanger Platz and there are a lot of great bars and restaraunts around here. I don't come over here often, but if I do I like hitting up Silo for coffee, and there's a wine bar called Noble Rot that's got a nice selection of German/Austrian/Hungarian wines.

Kreuzberg, which is kind of like the hipster part of the city. Where a struggling artist could rent a room in a flat for 250 euros, it is now the epicenter of overpriced oat milk lattes. Gazzo pizza is probably my favorite pizza in the city. Sourdough style crusts and they do seasonal pizzas. Biererei Bar usually has a pretty sophisticated tap list. The owner is obsessed with metal music, unfortunately. Markthalle Neun is a really great food hall that I can highly recommend. One of my favorite places in the city. We like to go on Saturday's cause it's usually a good vibe and place to meet friends, but it's open on the weekdays, too. Duo Sicilian might be the best ice cream in the city. Five Elephant is a great coffee roaster here, as is Bonanza. La Maison is a French Cafe with outside seating along the canal that can be quite busy, but the line moves fast. Frau Luna, right down the street from La Maison, is a good cocktail spot, as well.

Neukoelln, IMO, kind of sucks. It's quite loud and rowdy and it's not uncommon to spot junkies smoking crack in the U-Bahn stations. If you're going to venture down there, go to Schillerkiez. It's a little neighborhood with a boulevard bisecting it. There's a dumpling restaraunt called Han West that is quite good, as well as an African restaraunt called Lalibela my friend swears by. Frollein Langer is a little kneipe (dive bar) in this neighborhood I'd frequent after German classes. Depending if you have nice weather while you visit, a walk in Templehofer Field right next door to Schillerkiez is quite cool. It was the airport in the city from the 30s up until like the 90's I think.

I live on the west side in a neighborhood called Charlottenburg. There's a street over here called Kurfuerstendamm (KuDamm, for short) where there are a ton of high-end stores if that's your thing. Schwarzes cafe has been around since the 70s and is a cool place to eat, you need to make a reservation though. Lots of good Asian restaurants on Kantstr. as well. Schoeneberg is about a mile and a half away and we like going out over here. There's two streets: Akazienstr. and Goltzstr. and both have heaps of options to eat and drink from. Cafe ?, Bar Nonno, Maigold, etc.

Depending on the leaves, you should rent a bike and ride through Tiergarten. It's kind of like the Central Park of Berlin. It's my favorite place to spend a nice afternoon.

Another recommendation, and I am completely serious: a textile-free sauna. There's a place called Vabali, and it's located near the Hauptbahnhof. In my opinion, it might be the coolest place in the entire city. I have sent a bunch of friends there who were visiting and they've all come away impressed. You cannot wear clothes in there. You can rent a robe and they give you a towel. So you walk around in a robe but when you go in the saunas (there are 10 or 12 of them to visit) you are butt ass naked and you sit on the towel. It's weird at first, seeing a bunch of naked people, but you will get used to it. The food is great, the service is really good. We go a 3-4 times a year and it's the thing we probably look forward to the most. If you're looking for a reason to unplug for a few hours, this would be it.

Lastly, you need to try Doener while you're in Berlin, it's the classic street food (besides Currywurst, which you should also try). The places I like the most: Zagros (Kreuzberg), Ruya Gemuse Kebap (Charlottenburg), and Ruyam (Schoeneberg). Do not go to Mustafas, it's mids. Currywurst is more or less the same at every Currywurst stand.

Berlin is a really cool city. The Bahn system is very easy to figure out, however make sure you validate the ticket before you hop on the subway. It's certainly not the prettiest city in Germany, but there are tons to see and do. And even though Berliners aren't the friendliest of locals in Germany, it's a very safe city. Have fun! If you have any issues, feel free to reach out to me while you're here, and I will gladly help you out.

thanks for that write up, really appreciate it! Will definitely use it to build some ideas and plans. We're staying in the Hilton in the center which i suppose is part of Mitte.

originally I was looking at Charlottenberg because we were considering trying to catch the NFL game. We abandoned that idea after I realized the only real tickets left were premium packages at like 800 euro per person so we'll stick to food and history haha