Oof. Sounds like an elder scam.

This is exactly why I'm getting cremated. It's free if you donate your body to science. They also put your burnt butt in a nice metal urn and treat it with respect. Went through this process at UTSW when my FinL passed away.

Display a picture of you next to your ashes for the ceremony and let your family do whatever they want with them.

Sounds like the general scam that is funerals/funeral homes in the first place. It's amazing how much they charge for these vague things. Went through this for my dad earlier last year.

Weddings and funerals

This is terrible and I'm sorry anyone would deal with this on top of losing a parent.

Old family business was a funeral home. It has to be in the contract or they are lying. A good funeral home would honor it if legit or have clear language on what is covered.

Ask them to show the signed contract/provide yours and show proof. If they can't, go to the local news station to bust them or threaten with a lawyer.

Happy to help if you'd like, I'm a funeral home owner, so feel free to private msg me if you want my help. Would be happy to visit by phone and answer all your questions and even take a look at the policy if you wish.

I will say $7k additional sounds very excessive and something is definitely amiss. Of course we have some bad apples in our profession, just as most do, but generally most funeral homes aren't out to scam you. Were you using a corporately owned Funeral Home or an Independently owned Funeral Home?

I realize this is a confusing topic for most people, because most persons only make funeral arrangements for a loved one on average 2-3 times in their lifetime, so it's an unfamiliar process. But I'll give my best summary below:

FTC and Price List Requirement
Every Funeral Home is required by the FTC to have a General Price List and required to give a copy to the family. In Texas, most prepaid policies are underwritten through insurance, of which the Texas Dept. of Banking is the regulating entity. The money paid in initially is held in the insurance company until the death occurs, and the funeral home doesn't get paid until the death occurs and they provide documents to the insurance company showing services were rendered in accordance with the prepaid policy (the family must sign this document). Other prepaid funerals are underwritten and held in a trust account and that is totally different than insurance. If you are not in Texas, your prepaid policies may be regulated differently.

Guaranteed Funeral Policies
Some prepaid policies executed through the funeral home are "Guaranteed," meaning the cost is locked in at those prices from that date, and you won't have to pay additional at the time of death. Keep in mind this will only be for the items (services and merchandise) that are listed and itemized on the original prepaid contract. Any new item selected at the time of death that was not on the original contract will be a new charge at today's prices.

Non-Guaranteed Funeral Policies
Other prepaid policies, are NOT Guaranteed, meaning you are essentially just supplying a payment for the prices back at that date when the policy was executed and if the funeral home prices have increased over the years you will owe the difference. It's important to understand if your policy was Guaranteed or not Guaranteed, and these often vary by state as well.

3rd Party Cash Advances
Regarding Cash Advances: these are 3rd party fees (not fees of the funeral home). These fees are typically Opening/Closing of the grave by the grave digging company, newspaper fees, flowers, death certificates, clergy honorarium. Some funeral homes will allow you to prepay an allowance towards these fees on the prepaid policy, however it is only an allowance and you will owe the difference if today's pricing from those 3rd parties are more than what you prepaid. Many funeral homes do not allow you to prepay any allowance towards these Cash Advance items and they will be due at the time of death.

I'm not defending them by any means, however I will say overhead is astronomical to have staff and facilities available 24 hours a day 365 days a year, and phones answered every minute of every day, and staff to drop dinner with their families and come to yours or leave their families at 2am to come to yours. It sounds like there is something wrong or definitely misunderstood in your situation, and again, I'd be happy to visit with you about it.

Bird Poo said:

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This is exactly why I'm getting cremated. It's free if you donate your body to science. They also put your burnt butt in a nice metal urn and treat it with respect. Went through this process at UTSW when my FinL passed away.

Display a picture of you next to your ashes for the ceremony and let your family do whatever they want with them.

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Same, My family Knows I want my ashes put into the potting soil for a pecan tree so my future progeny can enjoy [SpreadsheetAg's] Nuts for generations to come. (True story)

A placard would be nice as well.

https://www.thelivingurn.com/collections/popular-urn-options

TRD-Ferguson said:

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My parents purchased cemetery plots and pre-paid for their funerals many years ago. My dad died 3 years ago and there was a balance due the funeral home of about $1500. My mother died a few days ago and her balance is over $7K!

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Don't feel like The Lone Ranger here.

I recall my dad pre-arranging the details of his funeral with an undertaker that he had actually gone to high school with. He also prepaid 'everything' at that time.

He presented me with the paperwork one day and told me that when the time came, I just needed to call his man and let him know that it was time to handle it.

He then told me I just needed to show up and make sure everything was carried out as he requested (it was super simple, believe me), and that I wouldn't owe anybody a dime.

Well, he was right. I didn't owe a dime. I owed an additional four grand.

The man, who was as old as my dad and was his old friend gave me some explanation, and out of respect for their relationship, I cut him a check and kept my mouth shut.

So, yeah, it happens. But, I imagine if my dad had known that 'everything' wasn't already taken care of, he would have been mad as hell.

But, things could be worse. Remember 20 years ago in Georgia when they caught that Crematorium that accepted money to do cremations, but because their oven broke a 'while back' that they just decided to stack the dead bodies (about 350 in all) out in the Georgia woods to let them rot?

Georgia Crematorium Scandel

The whole funeral/burial system is stupid and a waste of money. Embalming is dumb (thanks a lot Civil War).
Feed me to sharks or shoot me out a cannon when I'm gone.

NoahAg said:

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The whole funeral/burial system is stupid and a waste of money. Embalming is dumb (thanks a lot Civil War).
Feed me to sharks or shoot me out a cannon when I'm gone.

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I agree, simply gross to let a stranger drain ya, gut ya, and stuff ya. Just throw me in a ditch and cover me up, don't really care.