aTm2004 said:

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Diggity said:

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aTm2004 said:

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If anything, kids taking out student loans are more detached from the real costs of things. I know so many people who maxed out student loans for tuition, kept the extra for shopping and were amazed 10 years later when they had all this debt.

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Kids taking out loans are more detached from the real costs, but the ones who never see a tuition bill aren't? Give me a break. I'd bet there's a strong correlation between those and individuals with massive CC debt as well.

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You don't think parents have more influence over their kids than the Stafford loan folks?

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I think you're underestimating how ignorant most parents are when it comes to college and it's true value. So many people today still think just having a college degree actually means something. The school. The degree. It's all the same to them. They're in 2023 with 1973 mindset. I'd also go out on a limb to say that many parents get caught up in the school vs. the value it will provide and the interests of the kid. If you have a son that wants to be a game warden, him going to SMU sounds a lot better to your friends than him going to Sam Houston State, which, IMO, is the better choice.

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I don't know about you, but if I'm footing the bulk of a six-figure college education, my kids are going to be accountable for the school they attend, the major they pick, and the grades they deliver.

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Oh, you're going to guide them with strings attached to the money.

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You act like a kid coming out of high-school and taking on a mountain of debt is going to mature immediately and make good choices on their own. That isn't the norm in my experience.

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No. I'm saying having some financial skin in their degree will help them more than having mommy and daddy there to catch them if they fall. And if they do mess around and fail out or choose a useless degree, they carry that burden, not the parents.

I know this is TexAgs, and everyone here has dual 6-figure incomes, 8-figure portfolios with 20% annual returns, and kids who will impress Mary Poppins, but there's a whole other world outside of this bubble. A world filled with people (even Aggies) who make <$100k/yr combined who somehow feel obligated to pay $100k+ for their kid to go to college. It's insane to me. And I say this as someone who already has college covered for all 3 of my kids.

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yes

htxag09 said:

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Probably because the way you framed it. "Give them the truth serum" and it was a waste of money.

In my first response, I said there was nothing wrong with the OP having their kids get student loans. A little different in that and your response.

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Am I wrong? We all love our children, but at what point does the financial impact to ourselves come into the equation of what we want to do for them? Many of us will not go out and buy our kids a new BMW for their first car, even if we're able to do so.

Why is that kind of thought not applied to college? If you know your child wants to be a teacher, and say you have $200k set aside for them to use. Why would you support them going to a private school like SMU, Baylor, East Texas Baptist, etc over a public school like Texas State, UH, or even A&M or Texas? What value do the more expensive private schools have over the public option for most people?

And if it makes any of you feel any better, my wife has even admitted to me that she feels sorry for her parents because of the costs of her college and her chosen career. Especially since she had multiple D-1 basketball offers and a nomination to the AFA.

Just curious...what are the approved schools and degrees to you?

it's a little more nuanced than that...but I'm sure you know that.

nm

Diggity said:

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it's a little more nuanced than that...but I'm sure you know that.

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I know it is, but I'm just curious. What kind of lines/expectations do you have? If you have a son who is gung ho on being a firefighter or LEO after college, are you willing to pay for him to go to Tulane or Mary Hardin Baylor? If your daughter wants to be a nurse, are you willing to pay for a BSN at Hardin Simmons or Schreiner over Texas State or A&M CC?

talk to me in 8-10 years. Both my kids are very different and I will approach the situations accordingly.

Sounds like our kids are the same age, but what does that have to do with my question? I'm not including scholarships (academic or athletic) in my question, because that obviously makes things different. I'm talking full cost vs full cost:

UMHB tuition is $33k/yr
SHSU tuition for 12 hours is $9k/yr

Schreiner tuition is $35k/yr
TxState tuition is $12k/yr

if you're asking would I be inclined to spend additional money for a mediocre private school, with minimal network upside, over a similarly regarded public school. No, I would not.

People have their reasons for doing so, and I won't begrudge them, but I personally would not be pumped about those choices.

But if one of those mediocre private schools is where your child's heart is or where they feel they would succeed the most, you wouldn't pay for it?

asked and answered my friend.

I'm sure everyone is sick of this dialogue (I know I am), so I'm dropping out

Then I'll end with this...most would pay for it and not think twice. I'm sure there are people who are reading this thread who have done something similar or gone into debt to pay for their children's college. It's just silly to me. OP started this thread for advice because they're behind and worried. Worried about something they're not obligated to do. Save what you can when you can, help however you can, but don't believe you have to carry that burden and don't stress too much about it. And have an honest conversation about what they want to do and what schools could get them there.

aTm2004 said:

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Shallowminded14 said:

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I paid for 1/2 of my college. I paid for 100% of my living expenses while in college.

My parents didn't cover their 1/2 until I graduated. I didn't have time to screw off like the majority of my peers. LOL at you for getting conned into footing the bill for your child's likely useless degree and playtime on your dime. Good way to teach them to mature.

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I bet if we all think back to some people we knew our freshman year, we'll remember the ones who never went to class and all flunked out. Their parents did nothing more than pay for a 9 month party and got nothing outside of a 19 year old moving back home for good at the end of the year.

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I knew more people that had to drop out because they couldn't keep up with or afford working while going to school.

To each their own. I made a conscious decision to bring someone into the world and it makes sense to help them pay for the one thing that gives them the best chance for success in life.

High Functioning Moron said:

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aTm2004 said:

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Shallowminded14 said:

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I paid for 1/2 of my college. I paid for 100% of my living expenses while in college.

My parents didn't cover their 1/2 until I graduated. I didn't have time to screw off like the majority of my peers. LOL at you for getting conned into footing the bill for your child's likely useless degree and playtime on your dime. Good way to teach them to mature.

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I bet if we all think back to some people we knew our freshman year, we'll remember the ones who never went to class and all flunked out. Their parents did nothing more than pay for a 9 month party and got nothing outside of a 19 year old moving back home for good at the end of the year.

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I knew more people that had to drop out because they couldn't keep up with or afford working while going to school.

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I always tell my kids...if you make it important you will find a way.

I had an older guy in a few of my upper level major classes. By older, I mean early-50's, which is older when you're 21 and not 41. We were talking one day and I asked him about coming back to school at an older age, and he told me that he always wanted to be an Aggie but life got in the way (kids), and now that they were grown, he was going to follow his dream. He worked MWF in Houston and drove to CS TR to take classes. I doubt the degree did anything for him, but he told me that line and I have never forgotten it. The people put into your life really do impact you in ways you could never imagine.

The best chance to succeed in life is to not have kids until you're married. Every other measure of success is subjective.

Yes they could have. They chose to do other things outside of work and studying.

I did it for five years. When people say they "couldn't keep up" or "didn't have the time for a job" I immediately know how weak minded that person is. You can do it. It's just a matter of how bad you want it.