Just Got Married: Advice on Combining Accounts

10,860 Views | 103 Replies | Last: 7 mo ago by ChoppinDs40
Allen Gamble
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
2:49p, 4/29/25
Hello fellow business & investing enthusiasts,

I recently married my gf of 3 years and we agreed that I would be in charge of the finances in the family. Overall, we're in pretty good shape financially:

  • We both work, no kids (I'm 33, she's 31). Work and live ITL in Houston
  • #1 goal is buy a home in the next year, budget $450K - $500K
  • Together we bring in $355K annually (gross including bonus).
  • $174K in liquid cash/investments ($112K cash in checking accounts, $22K in HYSA via Marcus, and $40K in my Schwab brokerage which is mostly index funds)
  • Only debt is $46K in private student loans with 4.75% interest (all mine). I pay an extra $2k/month on this to bring it down ASAP
  • $354K in our 401k's, combined
  • No pre-nup, we're all in baby!

So far, my plan is to either convert my Schwab individual account into a joint one or create a new one altogether via Schwab. From there, we'll combine our cash and move a set % of her cash into my brokerage investments. I also realized I can't create a joint account via Marcus, so I'm not sure how to navigate that one for our emergency fund and possible down payment fund.

Here's the catch, I'm more risk tolerant whereas she's very risk averse. All of her cash/savings has been tied up in a checking account excluding her 401k from her prior job. My investments are mostly index funds or small cap funds.

This is quite a bit to digest, I know. But I was hoping some seasoned vets here could offer some guidance for my following questions:

  • How should we go about saving for a down payment? Knowing that my Marcus emergency fund can't be converted to a joint account? Should we just open one elsewhere? Open to other alternatives
  • How best to allocate the rest of her cash in investments or savings accounts.

Appreciate any insight and happy to elaborate further! TIA
Reply Quote
jamey
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
2:57p, 4/29/25
AG
We created a household checking and household savings account.

We both put regular pay into both accounts. The household checking covers all bills, without any extra. We purposely budget tight and put the rest into household savings with just enough in our own private account to pay for gas, food truck at work and thats about it.

This forces a lot of money into savings. Every so often I'll transfer into the joint brokerage account which is 80/20 stocks/bonds. Eventually I'll go less risk tolerance and go higher bonds

We made about 250K a year and saved about 100K a year between savings, 401K, Brokerage, 529s..etc
Reply Quote
5
5 edits
txaggie_08
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to jamey • 3:19p, 4/29/25
AG
Yeah, basically this.

I added my wife to my checking account, and both of our paychecks are deposited there. I also added her to my Schwab brokerage account to share in that account. For cash savings, we opened a joint HYSA at an online bank. We each have our own separate credit cards, but money to pay off cc balances comes from the one checking account. That way we don't see every line item detail of what each other is purchasing, but we are able to keep a general eye on how much each is spending each month.

If you can't add your wife to your existing Marcus account, then open a new joint account or find another HYSA bank. The best way to save for a home down payment is in a HYSA. You don't want to expose your short term money to market volatility.

As for allocating your wife's cash, that's a conversation for the two of you but it seems like your current setup in your brokerage is sufficient (if she's on board with that). My wife pretty much had no savings outside of her small 401k when we got married (but luckily also no debt), so she hasn't really had any say/input on how we invest those savings.
Reply Quote
htxag09
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
3:40p, 4/29/25
AG
Mostly agree with the above....but have to say I disagree about separate credit cards. I have quite a few friends who have separate checking accounts or credit cards and it can cause issues. I was actually just talking to a coworker about it yesterday because she wants to create a budget but can't because of the separate credit cards and her husband is firmly on the "it's my money, you don't need to see what I'm buying" train.

That said, what we do.....we have a joint checking account where all income is deposited. We have a joint HYSA that x% is transferred to monthly and more manually when bonuses, etc. hit. We have a joint investment account that is the same. These accounts are where the vast majority (~90% of our non-retirement) of our savings/money is/are. We bought a house about 18 months ago so 12ish months before that the % going to the HYSA vs. the investment account was increased.

I have a couple old investment accounts that are just in my name and she does as well. We didn't really worry about adding each other on them but the accounts are linked to our budget app/tool so we do have visibility into them.

Same goes for credit cards. I mainly use an AMEX, she's a secondary card holder but doesn't really use it. She mainly uses a chase credit card, similarly I'm a secondary card holder but don't use it. But those credit cards are linked to our budgeting tool so we both do have line item visibility. I just don't see how you could do a budget looking at basic things like groceries and restaurants if you aren't sharing that information. Now we do have our budgeted amount of $ we can spend on whatever we want. I've never questioned my wife on those purchases and she's never questioned me. We talked about a budget, set it, stick to it, and trust each other so it isn't an issue....
Reply Quote
2
2 edits
jamey
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to htxag09 • 3:52p, 4/29/25
AG
htxag09 said:
Mostly agree with the above....but have to say I disagree about separate credit cards. I have quite a few friends who have separate checking accounts or credit cards and it can cause issues. I was actually just talking to a coworker about it yesterday because she wants to create a budget but can't because of the separate credit cards and her husband is firmly on the "it's my money, you don't need to see what I'm buying" train.

That said, what we do.....we have a joint checking account where all income is deposited. We have a joint HYSA that x% is transferred to monthly and more manually when bonuses, etc. hit. We have a joint investment account that is the same. These accounts are where the vast majority (~90% of our non-retirement) of our savings/money is/are.

I have a couple old investment accounts that are just in my name and she does as well. We didn't really worry about adding each other on them but the accounts are linked to our budget app/tool so we do have visibility into them.

Same goes for credit cards. I mainly use an AMEX, she's a secondary card holder but doesn't really use it. She mainly uses a chase credit card, similarly I'm a secondary card holder but don't use it. But those credit cards are linked to our budgeting tool so we both do have line item visibility. I just don't see how you could do a budget looking at basic things like groceries and restaurants if you aren't sharing that information. Now we do have our budgeted amount of $ we can spend on whatever we want. I've never questioned my wife on those purchases and she's never questioned me. We talked about a budget, set it, stick to it, and trust each other so it isn't an issue....


We ran into a $10,000 separate credit card problem a few years ago. Wife was running it up, and since we were budgeting tight to our pay, she had no way to pay it off

I knew she was not good with money, but damn. Women are consumers and I'm convinced genetically programed to
"gather". I think its a trait that comes in many forms so watch it. I think my wife gets a high from buying. I've seemingly turned that gatherer instict into looking for price deals on only things we'd buy anyway and she seems to enjoy that. She's found substantial monthly savings on groceries and other stuff
Reply Quote
3
File5
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
3:56p, 4/29/25
AG
Do y'all have any post-tax retirement accounts? Do you have Traditional IRAs?

Highly recommend looking into backdoor AND mega-backdoor Roth methods to find a Roth IRA. Hopefully you don't have a Trad IRA to mess up the backdoor. And hopefully your employer(s) have a plan that allows mega-backdoor.

Agreed on joint checking, joint credit (we don't but we both have each other's logins and aware of any major purchase above ~$150-$200), having one person manage finances (does this include bills AND investments AND taxes?), simplifying accounts where possible.

You might also consider using a password manager shared between y'all.

Regarding house down payment, how much of your cash do you need to keep free? You already have well above 20% for that price. Otherwise I would just keep it simple and put certain amount away in HYSA until ready.

All I got for now...
Reply Quote
1 edit
htxag09
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to jamey • 3:56p, 4/29/25
AG
My wife and I are both similar with spending and never ran into that big of issues. We were always spending less than we made, which was kind of the problem. We realized that we were making 50%+ than we were 5 years ago but the lifestyle creep was so intense we really weren't saving any more (well % wise). That's when we decided to get it in check and start a budget. And weirdly enough our lives aren't any "worse" and we have no more wants, actually we have less wants, than we did before the budget.
Reply Quote
1
AggieT
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
3:59p, 4/29/25
AG
Just combine it all. Once you have a house and kids money will be flying everywhere, and it's a PITA to track every penny. Discuss with your wife what amount of money you both think is appropriate to spend without discussing. Keep as much cash on hand that lets her sleep at night and invest the rest.

Above all else, make enough money/live below your means so that you don't have to screw with a budget. The only time I've fought with my wife about money was when we tried to budget (made it two weeks). Total unforced error.

I'd also recommend not posting your financials using your real name on a rival message board.
Reply Quote
31
Allen Gamble
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to jamey • 3:59p, 4/29/25
Yea I think I may've lucked out in that my wife is very practical and tends to not splurge on crap. Really speaks to how she has no debt and is cash heavy. Having two engineers as parents might have something to do with that!

We both have separate credit cards (3 for me, 2 for her) but mostly for paying bills and necessities. All cards are used to earn travel points and cash back.

What budget tools do y'all recommend? I heard Mint is a good option.
Reply Quote
Allen Gamble
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to AggieT • 4:02p, 4/29/25
AggieT said:
I'd also recommend not posting your financials using your real name on a rival message board.
Ha, thankfully it's a character from a movie I enjoy. Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg, if you will
Reply Quote
AggieT
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Allen Gamble • 4:03p, 4/29/25
AG
I was hoping this was the case.
Reply Quote
sts7049
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
4:04p, 4/29/25
AG
I'm firmly in team separate accounts. combining is unnecessary in a healthy relationship
Reply Quote
4
themissinglink
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
4:06p, 4/29/25
AG
Congrats.

I'd probably close down your Marcus account, move to Schwab (either new joint or old). You can save for your down payment in you brokerage account by just keeping the excess in money markets. Schwab's money market accounts (ex. SWVXX) are paying 4.15% which is more than your Marcus account (3.75% APY I think). All 3 major brokerages (Schwab, Vanguard, Fidelity) have pretty good money market accounts. I'd also move all but 2-3 months of expenses out of your checking account and into a brokerage account.

Based on your budget ($450-500k), you already have the down payment saved assuming the plan is 20%. Assuming say $100k down and $5k of closing costs, $29k would be tight for an emergency fund, but doable.

Also, regarding the student loans, unpopular opinion here, but don't be too scared of paying the minimum for a few months to grow your emergency fund. 4.75% is a relatively low rate. You are losing out a bit on the spread between your savings and the loan (3.75-4% vs 4.75%), but it's not crippling debt and the extra liquidity to achieve your short/medium term financial goals will give you a little more flexibility to buy the house sooner. If the economy goes into a recession, you and/or your wife lose your/her job, the extra bit of emergency funds can give you a bit more of a runway to get back on your feet.

One comment on you being "in charge" of your family's finances. You mentioned no kids, but if you are planning on that changing, make sure to get term life insurance and fill your wife in on status and financial plans. If (God forbid) something were to happen to you, you want to make sure your wife can navigate the journey without you.

On the separate vs joint credit card discussions, you can make either work, just make sure you are tracking all your cards and spending together. We used to use Mint, now use simplifi, but there are a bunch on the market and whatever method works for you. I added my wife to several of my older credit cards to boost her credit score, but she didn't add me to hers (it would probably help now, but I have a house/cars so who cares now). We'll open cards in one of our names without the other on the account to avoid it hitting the others credit report to stay under some of the chase credit card 5/24 metrics (you can still get around it by calling but just makes it easier). We still track the spending in the same place. I would insist on joint bank accounts though. Too many issues can arise with separate bank accounts.
Reply Quote
1
1 edit
Definitely Not A Cop
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
4:06p, 4/29/25
AG
You pay a little bit, but Simplifi is pretty good.

We personally figure out our expenses including how much we "spend" on savings, figure out gross total monthly salary, then we both pay in the same percentage ratio of our income monthly. Anything left is money to do with as we will, no judgements.
Reply Quote
Allen Gamble
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to File5 • 4:10p, 4/29/25
File5 said:
Do y'all have any post-tax retirement accounts? Do you have Traditional IRAs?

Highly recommend looking into backdoor AND mega-backdoor Roth methods to find a Roth IRA. Hopefully you don't have a Trad IRA to mess up the backdoor. And hopefully your employer(s) have a plan that allows mega-backdoor.

Agreed on joint checking, joint credit (we don't but we both have each other's logins and aware of any major purchase above ~$150-$200), having one person manage finances (does this include bills AND investments AND taxes?), simplifying accounts where possible.

You might also consider using a password manager shared between y'all.

Regarding house down payment, how much of your cash do you need to keep free? You already have well above 20% for that price. Otherwise I would just keep it simple and put certain amount away in HYSA until ready.

All I got for now...
I would be managing the bills, investments, and taxes.

As for post-tax retirement accounts, she only has a trad 401k for both her former employer and current one.

For me, I've got a trad rollover 401k in Fidelity, Roth 401k with my current employer, and an external Roth IRA via Vanguard.

I don't currently contribute to my Roth IRA, though.

I'd like to keep $20-30K steady in a checking account while the rest is tied up in liquid investments.
Reply Quote
1
AggieT
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
4:14p, 4/29/25
AG
You should both max your Roths every year. Max your 401ks if you can, otherwise wait until your loans are paid off.
Reply Quote
2
txaggie_08
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to sts7049 • 4:22p, 4/29/25
AG
sts7049 said:
I'm firmly in team separate accounts. combining is unnecessary in a healthy relationship
This is my compromise as far as separate credit cards go. That way we don't nitpick each other's spending, but we do know generally what each other is spending each month as we see the bills getting paid off in our joint checking.
Reply Quote
1
themissinglink
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Allen Gamble • 4:23p, 4/29/25
AG
Allen Gamble said:
What budget tools do y'all recommend? I heard Mint is a good option.
Mint no longer exists as it's been merged with Credit Karma, but the monthly spending tracking sucks so I wouldn't use it. It's mostly just a credit card pusher now.

I use simplifi and it's fine. It's cheap and everything I need. There have been some annoying bugs that I've had to point out to them and it's taken awhile to fix. I've heard good things about Monarch money, but it's more expensive so I'm happy where I am.
Reply Quote
jamey
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to htxag09 • 4:55p, 4/29/25
AG
htxag09 said:
My wife and I are both similar with spending and never ran into that big of issues. We were always spending less than we made, which was kind of the problem. We realized that we were making 50%+ than we were 5 years ago but the lifestyle creep was so intense we really weren't saving any more (well % wise). That's when we decided to get it in check and start a budget. And weirdly enough our lives aren't any "worse" and we have no more wants, actually we have less wants, than we did before the budget.


We found the tighter budget mostly equates to healthier eating, less fast food and restaurants
Reply Quote
1
YouBet
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
7:02p, 4/29/25
AG
Combine it all. I'm in the camp that if you are adamant about keeping separate accounts then you shouldn't be getting married. And separate accounts are unnecessarily complicated.

We have a spending account and a savings account. My wife still has a couple of CC's from before we met but she doesn't use them. We have a couple of shared CC's and almost all spend goes on one of them to maximize points.

We track everything in Tiller which is a spread sheet based account aggregator and budgeting tool. It's kickass if you prefer spreadsheets over an app.

The only negative in all of this is that I will see gifts that she buys me since I manage all of our finances.
Reply Quote
18
Aggie PM
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
7:41p, 4/29/25
AG
OP, you and your wife sound similar to my wife and I, except we are now married almost 26 years. We had very different views on money when we started dating - she was used to having some and me not so much. We agreed to combine all accounts with full transparency, but at times kept multiple accounts to simplify cash flows. All assets are ours - I don't know how people get along with what is yours and mine.

I would offer a couple of recommendations:
1) Make an annual budget that is built up on a monthly basis. We use a spreadsheet and talk about it generally about twice a year. When we make our budget (around New Years Day), we look at how things went in the past year for income, spending and investments. We discuss where we stand on our goals for retirement & college savings and if those goals are still right. We talk about the next year's anticipated income (helps to do this right after raises or bonuses), charitable giving, unique spending needs and what should be done with free cash flow. It's not always the most fun discussion of the year, but it keeps us on the same page. While I look at the budget on a monthly basis for the rest of the year, we really only talk about it again at the midpoint of the year for a quick catch-up or if something comes up that is causing us to diverge from the annual plan.
2) Where things are not material, don't make them to be a bigger deal than they are. If your wife spends more on something one month but then spends less another month - don't sweat it. If spending is over the budget, but not enough to compromise the goals for the year - let it go. Being the budget policeman is a quick way to put tension into the marriage that isn't helpful or needed. There will be enough material things that you will need to discuss that letting the small things go makes sense.
3) Help your wife understand the themes and reasons why you feel that taking the financial steps you are taking is correct, but don't drag her through the details unless she expresses interest. My wife wants an equal share in key decisions, but could care less about the details of mechanisms to minimize tax and risk (like Roth conversions). If we have a decision point coming up, I generally offer, but she tends to appreciate that I handle the administrative aspects of money movements, accounts, etc. without wasting her time on it.
4) While she may not be interested, make sure that you keep enough records so she or someone else can understand it if something happens to you.
5) Make sure that the beneficiaries for all of your accounts are set-up with each other as the primary beneficiaries.
6) Get a 15-20 year term life insurance policies for each of you now with a bigger value than you think you need. The premiums of those policies will start growing for you shortly with more age and now's a great time to secure insurance for your prime earning years.

Congratulations and best wishes for a long & happy marriage!

Reply Quote
7
1 edit
ChoppinDs40
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
7:46p, 4/29/25
AG
Get Monarch and set up budgets. Get a few credit cards for best cash back/rewards based on what you do. We have Amex blue cash for 3% groceries 6% on gas. American Airlines card for everything else. Need a visa for Costco. Pay them off in full every month.

Categorize expenses religiously and stick to the budget. Don't be overzealous or unrealistic that way you can actually adhere to said budget. For example, include entertainment budget. Get her nails did budget, etc.

Have all cash go to the same place and expenses get paid from the same place. Budget for savings and have those automatically withdrawn from said checking account.

That way you have XXX income to budget. YYY costs to budget. Excess goes to ZZZ savings whether it be vacation budget. Brokerage. New car. Debt pay down etc.
Reply Quote
Double Oaked
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Allen Gamble • 8:25p, 4/29/25
AG
You say no prenup and you are both all-in, so make it easy and both go all-in.

Have a joint checking account that both paychecks are deposited to. Then a joint savings, or two joint savings accounts if you want to spread the money around to different banks (I personally do this).

The 401ks are simple to keep separate since they are tied to employers. Just make sure you both list each other as the beneficiary on your respective accounts.

Give her access to your brokerage account and list her as the beneficiary. If you are handling the investments (same thing here) then she doesn't need to open one. If things go south, she gets half of it anyways.

My wife and I have two credit cards jointly. Most purchases go on Venture card for points and we use those to pay for vacations. The other is really a just-in-case card and hardly gets used. Pay it off bi-weekly.

The more transparent and open all money coming and going out is, the less you have to worry about or fight over. You are married, so it shouldn't be looked at as "mine" vs "yours". It's all "ours", for richer or poorer!
Reply Quote
9
Charismatic Megafauna
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
8:34p, 4/29/25
AG
I've been married 15 years and we still don't have a joint checking account per se. Like you guys, we have both always made good money and been pretty well aligned financially. Most of our accounts are with Wells Fargo and over the years we have ended up with most of our accounts visible to each other through our logons, but generally split expenses (like one of us pay mortgage, other pay daycare and insurance, etc) but never really put a lot of thought into it. When our respective checking accounts got too big we'd transfer funds into a high yield savings, initially with the goal of having 20% to put down on our next house, then being able to buy the next house with cash, then turning into a general investment/brokerage/nest egg account. All that to say, hopefully you'll have plenty of time to find your groove, no need to rush into combining everything immediately. Congrats!
Reply Quote
1
SEConferenceAggie08
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
10:48p, 4/29/25
AG
Great advice from everyone. Many different view points and methods shared, but all great ways to handle finances in a marriage. At the end of the day, do whatever works best for you and your wife and make sure y'all are on the same page.

My bit of advice and what I believe is most important regardless of which way you go: full transparency. The best way to make this work is to know that you each have access to any and all information, if needed.
Reply Quote
PDEMDHC
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
11:11p, 4/29/25
AG
Congrats!!!

Finances is something you MUST agree on before marriage and implement at the right time after the fact. No need to rush but so long as you talk and agree. Be honest and work at it together. Faith, family, friends, finances, and you know… all the F words are critical!

When it comes to saving, cards, etc… just do what works for you. No wrong answers unless it creates a problem. As someone who helped my mom recover financially after my dad died (52 years or marriage), a few things I noticed.

1. Do not share a credit card. Period. End of sentence. This is one card with a primary and the other as the secondary sharing the same number.

My dad had the primary name. Had an AA mileage card for like 20 years. Upon his death, Citi decided to cancel the card and stole the $2500+ in points they made while saving for a European trip. Her credit score went down about 150 points as "she didn't have credit". After multiple attempts to resolve, she told Citi to pound sand in a letter and hasn't bothered with a CC since.

2. Make sure passwords and accounts are at least known and saved in a way that works for you. We had to cancel the electric company because accounts were in his name and couldn't get the combo from the company. An upper management person called and apologized to my mom profusely for the issue and resolved it.

3. Usually, one spouse that handles finances and the other is usually thankful the other one does them. What helped my mom is they always talked about it monthly. It's continuous improvement. Always something. Other than the two issues mentioned, things were flawless.

4. Simplify things. Don't have 10 IRA accounts, etc. after my dad died, we combined 15 brokerage, savings, and IRA accounts to 3 total (1 of each). My dad was eccentric about it but we made the right moves after his death. Should have been done much sooner.


Probably have more but more focused on my wife birthing our twin boys in 36 hours.
Reply Quote
4
GeorgiAg
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
6:04a, 4/30/25
AG
None of you practiced divorce law and it shows.
Reply Quote
9
TMfrisco
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to YouBet • 6:46a, 4/30/25
AG
YouBet said:
Combine it all. I'm in the camp that if you are adamant about keeping separate accounts then you shouldn't be getting married. And separate accounts are unnecessarily complicated.

We have a spending account and a savings account. My wife still has a couple of CC's from before we met but she doesn't use them. We have a couple of shared CC's and almost all spend goes on one of them to maximize points.

We track everything in Tiller which is a spread sheet based account aggregator and budgeting tool. It's kickass if you prefer spreadsheets over an app.

The only negative in all of this is that I will see gifts that she buys me since I manage all of our finances.
I'm with you.

Also, can someone explain to me why, in a community property state like Texas, there is any reason to have separate accounts. Maybe I'm missing something. Of course we've been married almost 33 years so there are no money secrets.
Reply Quote
1
Charismatic Megafauna
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to GeorgiAg • 7:24a, 4/30/25
AG
GeorgiAg said:
None of you practiced divorce law and it shows.
Soo... You're in the "you should already have an offshore account that you slip a couple hundo a week into" camp?
Reply Quote
7
sts7049
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to TMfrisco • 7:52a, 4/30/25
AG
TMfrisco said:
YouBet said:
Combine it all. I'm in the camp that if you are adamant about keeping separate accounts then you shouldn't be getting married. And separate accounts are unnecessarily complicated.

We have a spending account and a savings account. My wife still has a couple of CC's from before we met but she doesn't use them. We have a couple of shared CC's and almost all spend goes on one of them to maximize points.

We track everything in Tiller which is a spread sheet based account aggregator and budgeting tool. It's kickass if you prefer spreadsheets over an app.

The only negative in all of this is that I will see gifts that she buys me since I manage all of our finances.
I'm with you.

Also, can someone explain to me why, in a community property state like Texas, there is any reason to have separate accounts. Maybe I'm missing something. Of course we've been married almost 33 years so there are no money secrets.


if you come together with your own accounts, you don't have to do anything further.
Reply Quote
1
htxag09
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to TMfrisco • 8:10a, 4/30/25
AG
TMfrisco said:
YouBet said:
Combine it all. I'm in the camp that if you are adamant about keeping separate accounts then you shouldn't be getting married. And separate accounts are unnecessarily complicated.

We have a spending account and a savings account. My wife still has a couple of CC's from before we met but she doesn't use them. We have a couple of shared CC's and almost all spend goes on one of them to maximize points.

We track everything in Tiller which is a spread sheet based account aggregator and budgeting tool. It's kickass if you prefer spreadsheets over an app.

The only negative in all of this is that I will see gifts that she buys me since I manage all of our finances.
I'm with you.

Also, can someone explain to me why, in a community property state like Texas, there is any reason to have separate accounts. Maybe I'm missing something. Of course we've been married almost 33 years so there are no money secrets.
I think it's more for a not seeing what each other are spending every dollar on thing than it truly being one or the other's money, especially in something like a contested divorce.
Reply Quote
Aggie Athlete Involved
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
8:21a, 4/30/25
AG
great job so far and congrats! combining everything is building a fully transparent partnership.
great info above but to add another example of what we do/did:

1. combined checking, combined online HYSA
2. wife had lot of student loans, before getting married she was living at home maxing out paying those off, then we just paid off ASAP once married
3. dumped as much $ as we could into HYSA for home downpayment and didn't touch it till we had the downpayment to make monthly and taxes/insurance reasonable for 1 salary for our "forever house"
4. budget so you can max out both 401Ks, HSA if you have one, ESPP if you have one and sell immediately (or keep for long term taxes, all depends on your company's performance/future)
5. we pay off cars ASAP
6. get your term life insurance ASAP while it is cheap
7. traveled A LOT while young before kids - so happy we did this
8. our goal was be very settled before kids, now we are in that kid mode with the net worth we hoped for
9. getting close now to paying off the house for full debt free living to help with private school fees
10. give to Church if you are into that

Enjoy all the times together!

Reply Quote
3
sellthefarm
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
8:49a, 4/30/25
AG
As others have stated already you should combine everything. If your current accounts don't allow for that then get new ones. You are no longer yourself, and your wife is no longer herself. Together you are now Mr. and Mrs. ______. It's better for your finances, marriage, etc. to treat it that way. You still delegate roles and responsibilities, but it's not as individuals, it's as a one new entity. You aren't entering into a business relationship. I'd go as far as to say you should also combine social media accounts, etc.
Reply Quote
1
Proposition Joe
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:30a, 4/30/25
You should be off that **** altogether, but combining social media accounts is the number one "one of us really can't be trusted" indicators.
Reply Quote
12
1 edit
JuanDurfel
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:43a, 4/30/25
AG
Use a budgeting tool.
I switched to Monarch Money after Intuit Mint shutdown. It's not a free service, but, for me, is worth the price for tracking everything.

We have a mix of separate and joint accounts, but it doesn't 'really matter' because I have the full picture laid out on the budgeting tool.
Reply Quote
Last Page
Page 1 of 3 ▼
 
×
subscribe Verify your student status
See Subscription Benefits
Trial only available to users who have never subscribed or participated in a previous trial.