Buddy invites me to go on a trip to Ballyhack in West Virginia with 7 other guys. We stayed on property, got up and had breakfast. On hole 3, I see my buddy get a bit nervous and see him go up to the fore caddy and say something. Next I see him go to the cart, grab a towel and go up into the woods. Once he gets back we all realize he went and took a ***** He left the towel out there in the woods. So there is some texting going on between our groups and the group behind finds out he took a dump and used a towel. So he gets a towel and gets it all muddy and sticks it in the hole for the group behind us to find. Lots of laughs there. Next day we played and the towel he did leave in the woods was gone.

This reminds me of a story.... Fellow Ag (who posts on TexAgs frequently) is in my regular group. We used to all be members at Pine Forest in Bastrop. It was our usual Sunday afternoon round and we were approaching 6 green when things took a turn for the funny side. My Aggie friend got a little restless after a fart. As we are driving towards the green he reveals that it wasn't JUST a fart. He disappears into the woods near the green while we putt out. A few minutes later he returns with a funny grin. As we drive away he points towards the woods and there I see his tighty-whities hanging on a bush about a foot above the ground. He too left a towel behind but it was not visible. The white and newly brown stained underwear hung on that bush for a couple years undisturbed by nature until they finally disintegrated into the foliage. We always looked forward to the drive from 6 green to 7 tee box so we could see if they were still there.

This thread delivers!

A year or two back, a good friend and fellow TexAg poster (we'll see if he visits this board) are playing in Scottsdale between our WMO outings. He's a fun golfer but you never really know what you're going to get. We catch him on an awful day and on one of par 4s the tee box is back about 30 yards with a stucco lined patio home fairway. He gets up there, grips it as hard as he can and absolutely rips it right at the first stucco house located 45 degrees to his right doing all he can to avoid the bullet coming straight back at him.

A year later, playing jersey meadows with the same group of guys. There's a par 3 where you have to leave your carts green side to walk back to the par 5 tee box with the power lines. Well, this guy gets quite a bit of **** for his game and is gearing up to redeem himself on this par 5. 3 of the 4 are on the tee box as the 4th is changing the music in the cart when BAMMM this guy tees off and the ball bee lines right at the 4th member. It was an absolute piss missile that connects loudly with his cart almost taking out our 4th member (would have resulted in an ER visit for sure). No one in our group saw the ball ricocheted but we all heard it. The weirdest thing, being 30 yards from the object and having no idea where the ball went. Well…we walk off the green of this hole to discover the golf ball had been perfectly lodged between the steering wheel axel and the plastic dash. Maybe a quarter of the ball was visible…the craziest thing.

Last story, same guy (I swear we don't pick on him too much) but he gets invited every time because he's a good time and doesn't take himself too seriously. Anyways, we were making the turn when 3 drunk members from my club (now great friends) decide they want to play an E9. They challenge us to a 3 man scramble and we have a blast. So much fun that on our 2nd to last hole, my friend decided to drunkenly answer a FaceTime from his girl friend….well he handed us the phone as she wanted to watch him tee off. He gets his driver out, looks back at the camera as all the guys are giving a hard time, reaches back and woooooooof, hits the ground a full foot behind the ball, takes a huge divot, and falls out of his shoes and onto the ground. Girl friend saw it all and he's never heard the end of it.