I was a proud member of the Fightin' Texas Aggie Class of '06, was not in the Corps, and did not enlist or go to OCS after I left B/CS. Instead I decided that my calling was in the fire service. I've been a Firefighter/Paramedic in a major city in TX for 5 years. I also work as (basically) an ER nurse in a pediatric trauma center.

I had this crazy idea that someone on this particular board may know something about feeling different in your time off than you did before you "went on the street", or "went on tour" as they say up north.

I realize that those coming home from active combat may not have the same experiences as those of us who work the street here at home and vice versa... Have you had any issues relating to 'civilians'? Nightmares? Vivid waking flashbacks?

I think we may have a lot more in common than we think. What have you done to help be a 'civilian' again?

From a CT to a non-reg, thank YOU for YOUR service. You chose a different path to yet another outstanding calling.

As far as your question, my 20 years were more combat service support in nature, so my experiences will very greatly from some others here. My transition after retirement has been difficult.

I wish I was still "military" and not a "civilian".

Zip has it about right. It's amazing how much you miss the military. Not the silly, moronic BS from incompetent superiors, but the good stuff.

As a Reservist, I have to shift gears constantly. It is tough to find the on/off switch. My aviaotrs in my unit constantly struggle between deployment, monthly drills, annual training, and the multiple flights a week while trying to get a break in there somewhere. I use family and hobbies to help focus my brain on something different.

Your field can see and experience the worst conditions, at times. I would hope that you are able to break it off and take time to relax.

First of all thanks for your service there. It is greatly appreciated. I served four years as a USMC infantryman from 2005 to 2009(arguably some of the worst years of the conflicts)I went through two really hard deployments and my EAS was just a few months after my last one, which I spent my time getting ready(job and school and place to live) for civilian life and the actual checking out process. I never focused on the mental preparedness. Thankfully I spent most of my libo time around civilians so I wasn't completely immersed in the military mindset towards the end. That helped a lot in hindsight. Everyone is different and everyone has a different approach to your problem. Mine was to put my past behind me. I am extremely proud of my service and miss it greatly....but I also realize that my time is done. What this does for me is to really let go of being a full on Marine and let me become a civilian again.

it's ironic actually. I got out with the intention of being a firefighter myself. Got my EMT-B certification and was taking classes and preparing for the academy when I rolled on an accident. It was pretty bad. Fully engaged vehicle with trapped conscious occupant. She was saved thankfully by the timely response of firefighters but the initial feeling of helplessness (needed heavy equipment to extricate) while her vehicle burned around her reminded me of a similar incident overseas(that didn't turn out so well). I never hesitated while it was happening and did an admirable job of everything that I could do if I say so myself....but it was afterwards when it was done with and that night especially. I couldn't stop thinking about it. That previous incident ate at me for years and the new one reopened everything. After that I decided that I couldn't pursue that career anymore. That has been one of the biggest things for me that has affected me in the civvie life from my old one.

So top it off I guess what I did was to just immerse myself around civilians to help me move on. In all honesty I actually have a hard time being around motivated veterans. Maybe it's because it reminds me. I dunno. But I try to move on. It's not the easiest and Im sure there is better out there but this seems to work for me in the interim.

For most, the brotherhood, the bonds forged by shared sacrifice, the memories of the victories and painful losses, these things will be there until the last breath. Most days will go by without reminders. Then out of the blue a memory will come flooding back. This will be our joy and burden until the last days.

[This message has been edited by Gomerschlep (edited 7/12/2013 9:33a).]

"Everybody's trying to win or place
and I'm just trying to show
and get the hell out of here...
with what's left of my soul."

Scott Copeland

[This message has been edited by Gomerschlep (edited 7/19/2013 3:39a).]