Mojo beat me to it but I am still going to post this, I worked too damn hard on it:
Son, we have a website that attracts sh!% takers, and TexAgs must have a board handled by folks with brains and guts who can hold their own. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Kelso? Rivalries has a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You pray to fit into the SEC, and you curse the Rivalries. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know – you have to be able to out witt rivals to get other fan’s respect, …. and Rivalries existence while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, earns that respect (or scares the F* out of people). You know it’s the truth. Because in the zoo, you get to play patty cake with your zoo buddies because of Rivalries. We use words like cumguzzler, crockpuss, and goal tending...we use these words as the backbone of a board that chorales trolls, socks and sh!% talkers. You use 'em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who posts on a pansy board rivalries reinforces , and then questions the manner in which it’s reinforced! I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you grow some balls and stand up for your school.