Well since I volunteered at a nursing home I was undefeated.

Old people have glass jaws.

2-2. Lost 2 and didn't show up for 2!

2-1

If we add college in, we're talking Anderson Silva type stats. But I was sober and most opponents were hammered. My final fight ended like Anderson Silvia the one before he broke his leg, I decided to retire from bar fights after that.

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=724862164572932

0-1

I've only been struck in anger twice. One was my little brother so I won. The other was over before it started... younger guy sucker punched me in the gut during a basketball game, but he rolled his wrist so it hurt him a lot more than it hurt me. I asked if he wanted to keep going and he said no. A third one could have been bad but I dodged the knife and then we both realized it had gone too far.

Everything else ended without a punch being thrown. Basketball is the only thing I've done much of that leads to fights, but I don't call fouls and I'm a short guy who is just there to have fun.

Ulrich said:

---

I've only been struck in anger twice. One was my little brother so I won. The other was over before it started... younger guy sucker punched me in the gut during a basketball game, but he rolled his wrist so it hurt him a lot more than it hurt me. I asked if he wanted to keep going and he said no. A third one could have been bad but I dodged the knife and then we both realized it had gone too far.

Everything else ended without a punch being thrown. Basketball is the only thing I've done much of that leads to fights, but I don't call fouls and I'm a short guy who is just there to have fun.

---

I know exactly what you mean. In highschool basketball I was a football player playing basketball and I really didn't understand how some things were fouls. I fouled out most games but I also managed to have two different guys take swings at me while my back was turned. Luckily both missed or were held back. And in soccer I managed a few red cards but usually made other guys get one. Sorry but if I'm 5'8" 170 lbs and you're 6'0" 200 and I throw you to the ground with one arm that's on you, not me. Dude gets up and screams "where the f did you learn to play soccer" I just turned around and said "your mom" and he swung and missed. Red card bye bye. Little guys gotta have fun

1-1.
First guy I hit was sitting on a barstool. He went straight down with one punch. Then I realized he didn't have any legs.

The second was over in a flash. Never saw the purse hit me...

But boy I'm gonna sit right here and sip this beer all night
And if there's somethin' that you gotta gain to prove by winnin' some silly fight
Well okay I quit I lose you're the winner

1-0 vs. a grown man Cleveland Browns fan at the House of Pain in 1991 when I was 17.
Although we both ended up in jail overnight along with my best friend, the Browns' fans' brother, and 500 drunk homeless guys. Not sure that counts as a "win". Cop let me call my Dad and say what had happened. Dad asked to talk to the cop, told him he'd be there to get me at 6 a.m. the next morning so I didn't miss school.

0 - 0 because I'm not trash.

ATM9000 said:

---

Lol of course the anonymous Texags cumulative fist fight win percentage is hovering over .900.

---

Right up there with no one ever dating a girl who weighed more than 120 pounds.

I think the reason we are hovering around .900 is because we are all internet tough guys. It takes a certain breed to handle internet forums for years. We win fights because we project our enemies as any number of anonymous posters we hate. Unfortunately it usually ends in murder.

Who the hell can remember the numbers from that long ago? When I was younger, I had a temper and I liked to fight. I'm not going to say what it was, but back in the day I actually had a nickname that I earned because of all the fights I got into. I lost some, I won more than I lost. I will say I had a perfect record in rematches.

My dad would beat my a** if when I lost a fight.

ATM9000 said:

---

Lol of course the anonymous Texags cumulative fist fight win percentage is hovering over .900.

---

I totalled it up and texags claims 45-18, which is a .714 record. Actually not bad given that there is likely a strong selection bias.

Grade school
Was my last fight.

Past 12 or 13 I spent more time beating myself.

Beat my deek like it owed me money!!!!

Old people had it better in regard to school fights.

Now a days, both sides get punished no matter what. The administrators don't give a damn about self defense.

If you never got into a fight that means you are non aggressive and timid. Enjoy being a beta.

2-0 through high school.


Only other time I had a little disagreement my freshman year with a blinn kid harassing my roommate, that guy never messed with my friends anymore after that.

0-0.

Fighting is dumb, and I always avoided escalating.

I was supposed to fight someone from the GB at one point. I forgot why it didn't happen but I was also fairly certain I would have lost. So I'll say 3-2

we had fights in our school every couple of weeks. The one that stands out the most was a chick fight.......Becky (names have been changed) was eating at our table and someone walked by and said that Karen wants to fight you. Becky replied with I dont fight, I beat beyatches up and proceeded to get up and find Karen in the lunch line and folder her over the taco salad bar and started unleashing haymakers. no doubt in my mind that Becky could have beat up 1/4 of the boys in our school......me included.

I can still see my buddy Chuck right behind them scarfing down a slice of pizza yelling dont break the taco shells!!

AstroPete said:

---

I was supposed to fight someone from the GB at one point. I forgot why it didn't happen but I was also fairly certain I would have lost. So I'll say 3-2

---

I remember you PMed quite a few people after you got your perma and asked them if they wanted to fight IRL

Geralt of Rivia said:

---

AstroPete said:

---

I was supposed to fight someone from the GB at one point. I forgot why it didn't happen but I was also fairly certain I would have lost. So I'll say 3-2

---

I remember you PMed quite a few people after you got your perma and asked them if they wanted to fight IRL

---

I do not recall this but unfortunately it sounds like something I would have said. I hated so many people.

Ya'll I totally forgot about the 2 guys I beat up on my 8th grade soccer team. Please update my record to 4-0.

Dog-Faced Pony Soldier said:

---

Ya'll I totally forgot about the 2 guys I beat up on my 8th grade soccer team. Please update my record to 4-0.

---

Spreadsheets updated

MooreTrucker said:

---

2-0. Neither lasted very long. Not a brag, just the circumstances involved.

Lost one in college and that didn't last very long either.

---

Are we still talking about fighting?

Grapesoda2525 said:

---

Old people had it better in regard to school fights.

Now a days, both sides get punished no matter what. The administrators don't give a damn about self defense.

---

OK, I said 0-0 but forgot about something that I didn't consider a fight really. Your comment on both sides getting punished reminded me of it. I am an old and both sides got punished in our day too. Early in my freshman year, I put a quarter in the coke machine (told you I was an old) and when my drink came out at the bottom, this junior named Paul grabbed it and ran off. I didn't do anything about it. A couple of months later I walked in the front of the building after our lunch period ended, and I saw Paul standing in the door to his biology classroom. I don't know what caused me to react, I had pretty much quit thinking about my stolen coke, but he turned around, made eye contact, and I hit him with everything I had, right in the throat. He folded up like a two dollar suitcase and hit the floor. I walked on to my class.

Before the bell rang the principal comes and gets me. Paul's class was right across from the office and several had seen what went on. He is already in the office and I get escorted in. Got asked why I hit him and I told him why and the principal asked if Paul stole another coke what would I do and I said I'd eventually hit him, lol. So he pronounced us both to receive three licks. The paddles then were cut from baseball bats, about half an inch thick the full length of the bat. He told us he was going to hit us so hard the light on the telephone button would glow, lol. So he said who is first. I said me. He pops me the first time, asked if the light flashed and I said it might have. Hits me the second time, and asks again and I said yes sir, I think it flickered. Then the last swat and he asked and I said no, and actually it didn't the other two times because he swung the paddle like a girl, lol. Well, he got majorly pissed off and now it was Paul's turn and he got a pretty severe beating!

30wedge said:

---

Grapesoda2525 said:

---

Old people had it better in regard to school fights.

Now a days, both sides get punished no matter what. The administrators don't give a damn about self defense.

---

OK, I said 0-0 but forgot about something that I didn't consider a fight really. Your comment on both sides getting punished reminded me of it. I am an old and both sides got punished in our day too. Early in my freshman year, I put a quarter in the coke machine (told you I was an old) and when my drink came out at the bottom, this junior named Paul grabbed it and ran off. I didn't do anything about it. A couple of months later I walked in the front of the building after our lunch period ended, and I saw Paul standing in the door to his biology classroom. I don't know what caused me to react, I had pretty much quit thinking about my stolen coke, but he turned around, made eye contact, and I hit him with everything I had, right in the throat. He folded up like a two dollar suitcase and hit the floor. I walked on to my class.

Before the bell rang the principal comes and gets me. Paul's class was right across from the office and several had seen what went on. He is already in the office and I get escorted in. Got asked why I hit him and I told him why and the principal asked if Paul stole another coke what would I do and I said I'd eventually hit him, lol. So he pronounced us both to receive three licks. The paddles then were cut from baseball bats, about half an inch thick the full length of the bat. He told us he was going to hit us so hard the light on the telephone button would glow, lol. So he said who is first. I said me. He pops me the first time, asked if the light flashed and I said it might have. Hits me the second time, and asks again and I said yes sir, I think it flickered. Then the last swat and he asked and I said no, and actually it didn't the other two times because he swung the paddle like a girl, lol. Well, he got majorly pissed off and now it was Paul's turn and he got a pretty severe beating!

---

What an underwhelming story.

Old RV Ag said:

---

30wedge said:

---

Grapesoda2525 said:

---

Old people had it better in regard to school fights.

Now a days, both sides get punished no matter what. The administrators don't give a damn about self defense.

---

OK, I said 0-0 but forgot about something that I didn't consider a fight really. Your comment on both sides getting punished reminded me of it. I am an old and both sides got punished in our day too. Early in my freshman year, I put a quarter in the coke machine (told you I was an old) and when my drink came out at the bottom, this junior named Paul grabbed it and ran off. I didn't do anything about it. A couple of months later I walked in the front of the building after our lunch period ended, and I saw Paul standing in the door to his biology classroom. I don't know what caused me to react, I had pretty much quit thinking about my stolen coke, but he turned around, made eye contact, and I hit him with everything I had, right in the throat. He folded up like a two dollar suitcase and hit the floor. I walked on to my class.

Before the bell rang the principal comes and gets me. Paul's class was right across from the office and several had seen what went on. He is already in the office and I get escorted in. Got asked why I hit him and I told him why and the principal asked if Paul stole another coke what would I do and I said I'd eventually hit him, lol. So he pronounced us both to receive three licks. The paddles then were cut from baseball bats, about half an inch thick the full length of the bat. He told us he was going to hit us so hard the light on the telephone button would glow, lol. So he said who is first. I said me. He pops me the first time, asked if the light flashed and I said it might have. Hits me the second time, and asks again and I said yes sir, I think it flickered. Then the last swat and he asked and I said no, and actually it didn't the other two times because he swung the paddle like a girl, lol. Well, he got majorly pissed off and now it was Paul's turn and he got a pretty severe beating!

---

What an underwhelming story.

---

Do you remember the last time you weren't unhappy?

30wedge said:

---

Old RV Ag said:

---

30wedge said:

---

Grapesoda2525 said:

---

Old people had it better in regard to school fights.

Now a days, both sides get punished no matter what. The administrators don't give a damn about self defense.

---

OK, I said 0-0 but forgot about something that I didn't consider a fight really. Your comment on both sides getting punished reminded me of it. I am an old and both sides got punished in our day too. Early in my freshman year, I put a quarter in the coke machine (told you I was an old) and when my drink came out at the bottom, this junior named Paul grabbed it and ran off. I didn't do anything about it. A couple of months later I walked in the front of the building after our lunch period ended, and I saw Paul standing in the door to his biology classroom. I don't know what caused me to react, I had pretty much quit thinking about my stolen coke, but he turned around, made eye contact, and I hit him with everything I had, right in the throat. He folded up like a two dollar suitcase and hit the floor. I walked on to my class.

Before the bell rang the principal comes and gets me. Paul's class was right across from the office and several had seen what went on. He is already in the office and I get escorted in. Got asked why I hit him and I told him why and the principal asked if Paul stole another coke what would I do and I said I'd eventually hit him, lol. So he pronounced us both to receive three licks. The paddles then were cut from baseball bats, about half an inch thick the full length of the bat. He told us he was going to hit us so hard the light on the telephone button would glow, lol. So he said who is first. I said me. He pops me the first time, asked if the light flashed and I said it might have. Hits me the second time, and asks again and I said yes sir, I think it flickered. Then the last swat and he asked and I said no, and actually it didn't the other two times because he swung the paddle like a girl, lol. Well, he got majorly pissed off and now it was Paul's turn and he got a pretty severe beating!

---

What an underwhelming story.

---

Do you remember the last time you weren't unhappy?

---

I'm always happy. Probably been a decade when I was last unhappy - when my wife passed away from cancer.

Do you remember a time when you had thick enough skin to take some teasing?

If I had to think about it, 4-3.

1 W and the 3 Ls were to the same dude. He was a way bigger guy than me. Outside of getting him on the ground (which is where that 1 W came from), there wasn't much I could do.

He eventually stopped because, in his words, "it's not fun getting hit back." and we were cool for awhile after we graduated but he's in prison now (or at least was like 5 years ago the last time I heard about him).

Come to think of it, I ended up being friends, or at least on good terms, with everyone I've ever got into a fight with.

0-0

I was so skinny and pathetic anybody who would have faught me would have felt ashamed of themselves afterward

0-0 at loving also