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Aggie Jokes

7,576 Views | 49 Replies | Last: 3 yr ago by war hymn aggie
Paul Dirac
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When I was 7 or 8 I heard my first Aggie joke. I didn't know what it meant. Didn't know about the Aggies (from Mesquite, TX) and didn't know what a cigarette "butt" was. My father later explained it.

I don't think I've heard an Aggie joke in maybe 35 years. When is the last time you've heard one?

Do we miss them? I mean I sort of liked the attention I think. Maybe in the 80s when it became apparent that everyone wanted to be us (secretly sometimes) the jokes faded.

When I was a senior and applied to A&M, they sent me a poster of bonfire and I put it up on my closet door. I didn't know what bonfire was even. Didn't know yell practice existed until my first one. Virtually clueless about all things A&M just that it was an absolutely great engineering school and I sure as heck wasn't going to tu which I've HATED since I was 9. Was in the top 3.2% of my high school and A&M is the only placed I applied to. Signed up for a dorm in my senior year of high school (October) and got into a dorm only after having to stay in an apartment the first two years because the dorms were full. Sure liked the convenience of living on campus and the roommate I got paired up with (because we were both physics majors) ended up being my best friend and best man. He was a valedictorian and National Merit Scholar.
lotsofhp
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I don't mind them

I'm also mostly polish so I get it doubly

When I do something dumb I like to say "we'll I'm 1/2 Aggie and 1/2 Polack so I don't know what you were expecting!"
wbt5845
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People who tell Aggie jokes are typically very old. The jokes have not made sense in decades.
Ol_Ag_02
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lotsofhp said:

I don't mind them

I'm also mostly polish so I get it doubly

When I do something dumb I like to say "we'll I'm 1/2 Aggie and 1/2 Polack so I don't know what you were expecting!"


I'm sorry is being polish supposed to mean something to the rest of us?
Apache
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Quote:

I'm sorry is being polish supposed to mean something to the rest of us?
Means you shine up real nice like!

(See we Aggies ain't as dumb as you think we is!)
Anchorhold
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lotsofhp
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Ol_Ag_02 said:

lotsofhp said:

I don't mind them

I'm also mostly polish so I get it doubly

When I do something dumb I like to say "we'll I'm 1/2 Aggie and 1/2 Polack so I don't know what you were expecting!"


I'm sorry is being polish supposed to mean something to the rest of us?


It's my understanding they're known to be dumb. Unless I'm so dumb I've got that wrong too.
BenTheGoodAg
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I used to really like telling Aggie jokes, but, I was in a dive bar this one time, and popped one off. This big guy a couple of seats over came over to our table. You could tell he was drunk, and pretty upset.

He got to the table, and pulled out a razor, pointed it at me very threateningly, and told me that he was an Aggie and didn't appreciate it. Thank God it was electric.
lotsofhp
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taxpreparer
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BenTheGoodAg said:

I used to really like telling Aggie jokes, but, I was in a dive bar this one time, and popped one off. This big guy a couple of seats over came over to our table. You could tell he was drunk, and pretty upset.

He got to the table, and pulled out a razor, pointed it at me very threateningly, and told me that he was an Aggie and didn't appreciate it. Thank God it was electric.


The problem with Aggie jokes is they are all so old.
agnerd
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Our offense this year.
Bob Loblaws Law Blog
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Ol_Ag_02 said:

lotsofhp said:

I don't mind them

I'm also mostly polish so I get it doubly

When I do something dumb I like to say "we'll I'm 1/2 Aggie and 1/2 Polack so I don't know what you were expecting!"


I'm sorry is being polish supposed to mean something to the rest of us?

Aggie jokes are the same thing as Polish jokes. In the Midwest they had Polish jokes instead of Aggie jokes. At least that's what my parents tell me.
gigemags-99
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They had to disband the Aggie water polo team last year because the horses kept drowning.
Know Your Enemy
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wbt5845 said:

People who tell Aggie jokes are typically very old. The jokes have not made sense in decades.

*******. If your old ass doesn't find them funny is there anyone alive who does? Aren't you in your 70's by now?
Burdizzo
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How does an Aggie spell farm?


E-I-E-I-O
TexasRebel
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lotsofhp said:

I don't mind them

I'm also mostly polish so I get it doubly

When I do something dumb I like to say "we'll I'm 1/2 Aggie and 1/2 Polack so I don't know what you were expecting!"


A Polish Aggie walks into a bar…
Husky Boy Jr.
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I remember them growing up in Austin the 80s and 90s from men in their 60s and 70s. The jokes were amusing in an Archie comics kind of way. My parents didn't go to A&M and I was a Longhorn fan as a kid.

Anyway, jokes on those guys cause they are all dead now.
Know Your Enemy
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My dad was so excited when I decided to go to A&M. He got to recycle all his old jokes. First they were moron jokes, then Polish jokes, and finally Aggie jokes.
Paul Dirac
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My Dad attended that other school but was very excited to have me go to A&M. We were at one game together. Liberty Bowl on a cold windy day to play Georgia. We were whipped that day and I heard the SEC chant live for the first time. Dad had pneumonia at that game but we didn't know it. He could barely walk. I treated him to the trip and he never complained but I wish he didn't have to go through that. I regret not asking him if he wanted to skip the game but he was never one to complain but as the game went on it was obvious he felt weak. I have a golf cart guy to take us up the ramp and pick us up and back to the car on the way out. He got a nice tip!
My father was in the ROTC and WWII and loved the military feel of A&M. His father never went to college but he was awarded acceptance to A&M because he was a valedictorian. Small school mostly explains the valedictorian status.
$3 Sack of Groceries
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Why does t.u. get 2/3 of the PUF and A&M only gets 1/3?

The Aggies got to choose first.
1990Hullaballoo
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TexasRebel said:

lotsofhp said:

I don't mind them

I'm also mostly polish so I get it doubly

When I do something dumb I like to say "we'll I'm 1/2 Aggie and 1/2 Polack so I don't know what you were expecting!"


A Polack Aggie walks into a bar…
FIFY

Most (older Texans) wouldn't know what Polish means...

It's what you put on your boots to make them shine.
TexasRebel
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Produce
Live
Bass
Record
Use
Bow
Present
Tear
swc93
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Polack jokes related - Can you imagine the hilarious pushback from parents and politicians if Truly Tasteless Joke books made it back on the list for sale at school book fairs ?

Every year growing up, Guinness Book of Records, Garfield or Calvin/Hobbes, Choose Your Own Adventures and Truly Tasteless Jokes (I - V) would be the must haves for every kid. Polack, Black, Helen Keller, dead baby, grosser than gross...Good lord those where some fun times.
IIIHorn
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TexasRebel said:

lotsofhp said:

I don't mind them

I'm also mostly polish so I get it doubly

When I do something dumb I like to say "we'll I'm 1/2 Aggie and 1/2 Polack so I don't know what you were expecting!"


A Polish Aggie walks into a bar…

…. and the bartender says: "What is this, a joke?

Shooter McGavin
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An Aggie sees a beautiful woman at the bar and after making small talk he asks her if she wants to go to his place and have sex.

She replies "I'm on my menstrual cycle"

To which he replies "Great! My moped is right outside!"
Shooter McGavin
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An Aggie was at the bar and was trying to get the attention of a woman and she cut him off, saying "I'm a lesbian"

To which he replied "How are things in Beirut?"
infinity ag
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I don't live close to Aggieland but it's been ages since I hear an Aggie joke.
I think social media killed that.

Quote:

Do we miss them? I mean I sort of liked the attention I think. Maybe in the 80s when it became apparent that everyone wanted to be us (secretly sometimes) the jokes faded.

I think they were laughing AT us rather than with us.
infinity ag
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Ol_Ag_02 said:

lotsofhp said:

I don't mind them

I'm also mostly polish so I get it doubly

When I do something dumb I like to say "we'll I'm 1/2 Aggie and 1/2 Polack so I don't know what you were expecting!"


I'm sorry is being polish supposed to mean something to the rest of us?

I was thinking the same thing.
Polish. So what? I don't get it.
Apache
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I had two or three of these books... I still remember some of them! Pretty sure I bought them at Spencer Gifts at the mall back in the day.
I had no idea they were so popular....
.... and I had no idea Amazon still sold them!! Hello stocking stuffers!!!

Quote:

Truly Tasteless Jokes became a runaway bestseller, appearing on the bestseller lists of The New York Times, The Washington Post and Publishers Weekly.[url=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truly_Tasteless_Jokes#cite_note-nyt7301983-2][2][/url] The original book was the best-selling mass-market paperback of 1983; Truly Tasteless Jokes Two was No. 10 on the same list.[url=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truly_Tasteless_Jokes#cite_note-3][/url]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truly_Tasteless_Jokes
concac
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Apache said:


I had two or three of these books... I still remember some of them! Pretty sure I bought them at Spencer Gifts at the mall back in the day.
I had no idea they were so popular....
.... and I had no idea Amazon still sold them!! Hello stocking stuffers!!!

Quote:

Truly Tasteless Jokes became a runaway bestseller, appearing on the bestseller lists of The New York Times, The Washington Post and Publishers Weekly.[url=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truly_Tasteless_Jokes#cite_note-nyt7301983-2][2][/url] The original book was the best-selling mass-market paperback of 1983; Truly Tasteless Jokes Two was No. 10 on the same list.[url=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truly_Tasteless_Jokes#cite_note-3][/url]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truly_Tasteless_Jokes

I don't know about y'all, but I thought the book tasted just like paper.
deer corn
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Know Your Enemy said:

wbt5845 said:

People who tell Aggie jokes are typically very old. The jokes have not made sense in decades.

*******. If your old ass doesn't find them funny is there anyone alive who does? Aren't you in your 70's by now?


And that's just what we're gonna do to em, Ags! Whoop!
zephyr88
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Anchorhold said:


The biggest joke is whomever agreed to the guaranteed contract.
Old School Brother
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lotsofhp said:

Ol_Ag_02 said:

lotsofhp said:

I don't mind them

I'm also mostly polish so I get it doubly

When I do something dumb I like to say "we'll I'm 1/2 Aggie and 1/2 Polack so I don't know what you were expecting!"


I'm sorry is being polish supposed to mean something to the rest of us?


It's my understanding they're known to be dumb. Unless I'm so dumb I've got that wrong too.
Nah, them Pols got good smarts.....I hear they invented the ejector seat on the helicopter.
AquaCasaAg
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Whenever I hand write a card/note and mess up and have to scribble a word out like a 4 year old I draw an arrow and write Aggie. People still get a kick that we can make fun of ourselves.
Beer Baron
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I used to not understand why people told them, then I started posting here a lot and I get it now.
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