Scotts Tot said:
Just getting my cards on the table here. I have 2 kids through IVF. We did not approach that decision lightly. In fact, when we started down the road of fertility treatments, we fully intended to stop short of IVF due to an ill-informed understanding that the process invariably leads to the destruction of human life. It can lead to that, but it doesn't have to. We decided to fertilize a limited number of eggs so that we would have a limited number of embryos, committing all along that we would implant any embryo we created, a commitment we followed through with.
I find the Catholic position on IVF frustrating. I understand why the church considers the destruction of embryos to be immoral, but ultimately this should be condemnation of embryo destruction, not IVF itself. While many patients do discard embryos, it is not a required part of the process. A more nuanced church doctrine could allow for the procedure to be done, but to forbid the discarding of embryos.
Another sticking point seems to be the spiritual implications surrounding the separation of procreation from the marital act. It's not clear to me why this is immoral. Married couples frequently have sex that has little to no chance of resulting in pregnancy. What about women who are entirely infertile due to some medical reason or age? Should they become celibate because the intercourse is no longer a "procreative act"? Young Catholic couples who want to hold off on kids frequently engage in "natural family planning" to have sex at times when they are hoping/expecting the act to not result in pregnancy. Is this intention not immoral by the same standard?
Finally there is the human dignity argument. Medical procedures often violate human dignity in the course of healing. Pummeling the body with radiation and losing one's hair during cancer treatment is an example. I find the argument that forming the embryo in a lab outside the womb violates its human dignity rather uncompelling.
Appreciate you sharing that. I'm not Catholic, but I see how one could be frustrated with the church's position.
Going in to our first round of IVF, I was very ignorant of what all it entailed. I knew what my duty would be inside of a doctor's office, and that made me uncomfortable enough to not care to know anything beyond that.
When my wife later explained more of the process to me, the impact was such that it is one of those moments where I remember exactly where I was at the time. Although I hadn't been in church in years and had virtually no relationship with the Lord, I still really struggled with the possibility of ending up with something like 8 embryos.
Fast forward to the egg retrieval. We're sitting in a room and the doctor comes in with tears in her eyes. She says somehow my wife ovulated early and they were only able to retrieve one egg, something she'd never had happen in all her years of practice. We were told to go home and talk about starting over, as it was extremely unlikely that this one egg would lead to a successful pregnancy. It was devastating. 9 months later, our first child was born.
Round 2 was an entirely differently story. Might share that later.
And in response to the guy who seemed to suggest I'm trying to use God's grace to justify my sin, that could not be further from the truth. My ignorance was and is no excuse. But so often, it is through our unwillingness to seek God that He changes our hearts and leads us straight to Him (sometimes down a very rocky road). It's one of the more prominent themes in Scripture.
