The pain of having an adult woke far left child.....

27,648 Views | 265 Replies | Last: 3 days ago by Medaggie
2wealfth Man
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AG
Athanasius said:

It is a social contagion.

I used to roll my eyes when people like Rush would say it's a mental disorder.

I think he was closer to correct than I ever gave him credit for.

It prays on people who depend on emotions for their decision-making. It is a lack of critical thinking abilities and a need for social acceptance.

It tears apart families and destroys communities.

You are NOT alone.
BOLD = childless single women + gay men + some (not all) members of minority groups (i.e. those who see their existence primarily through the lens of racism)
ETFan
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TheEternalOptimist said:

ETFan said:

TheEternalOptimist said:

ETFan said:

Me thinks this is a two way street with two hard heads. Politics must clearly rank above your children if, when brought up, there's enough push back from you to cause them to pull away that hard. That said, they are being unreasonable too.

For example, if the topic of musk came up, you must have voiced your appreciation of him over your daughters concerns of him being a **** head. Have you tried just agreeing? Being the bigger adult? Agree to disagree, politely?

Daughter "hey, I think musk is a nazi, he gave a nazi salute!" You "Yeah, that was a questionable move. Maybe he was trolling? Either way I hope he does better because that's kinda off putting. How's the new job going?..."


My inlaws do this. My wife has clearly shown her disdain for their politics or bringing up politics, they're fox news on every TV, 24/7, conservatives. To the point it's clear, to anyone who cares, that politics is just a **** show to bring up. What do they do when we have a get-together shortly before this election? Two Trump signs either side of the entry to their house.

They've never in their lives placed political signs, niether have we. Obviously was a painful "oh ok, so we're trolling our own children now, excellent" moment. You might see how that could push someone away? We haven't disowned them like your daughter, but they're on that line where trolling politics ranks above their family. Kinda ****ty.

Is that going on?

EDIT: almost forgot about the poster calling all democrats are comminists out to round them up and eliminate them. Grow tf up.


We don't troll our daughter with politics. But thanks for your concern trolling.

And No we do not generally discuss politics with her. But she knows where we stand and tries to provoke. There is no 'let's agree to disagree'.

If you and your family can't handle Trump signs in your family members yard of Fox tv being on … maybe you are the problem?

I don't walk into any family members house and get offended that CNN or MsNBC is on a screen…
Thought maybe you'd like to hear from "the other side", apologize if you only wanted echo's. I wasn't trolling you.

I gave a real world example where no one was disowned, we still hangout like a normal family, but have polar opposite views...

No one is offended by the TVs, I was giving a gauge of how political they are. Normal people don't leave a single political channel playing 24/7.

If you want to ignore the context surrounding the signs, again, fine.



Most of the lefties in this thread has implied the same thing.

Quite honestly - it is impossible to take anything a leftist has to say with any measure of seriousness when I know that the unraveling of my family is precisely what your political movement wants - the destruction of the family in exchange for political power. To turn children from Christian homes against their parents by flooding the culture with the lies of wokeness, lgbtq, wealth redistribution, and praising the glories of the nanny state.



Ok, best of luck.
CDUB98
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Quote:

Most of the lefties in this thread has implied the same thing.

Quite honestly - it is impossible to take anything a leftist has to say with any measure of seriousness when I know that the unraveling of my family is precisely what your political movement wants - the destruction of the family in exchange for political power. To turn children from Christian homes against their parents by flooding the culture with the lies of wokeness, lgbtq, wealth redistribution, and praising the glories of the nanny state.
BrazosDog02
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ETFan said:

TheEternalOptimist said:

ETFan said:

Me thinks this is a two way street with two hard heads. Politics must clearly rank above your children if, when brought up, there's enough push back from you to cause them to pull away that hard. That said, they are being unreasonable too.

For example, if the topic of musk came up, you must have voiced your appreciation of him over your daughters concerns of him being a **** head. Have you tried just agreeing? Being the bigger adult? Agree to disagree, politely?

Daughter "hey, I think musk is a nazi, he gave a nazi salute!" You "Yeah, that was a questionable move. Maybe he was trolling? Either way I hope he does better because that's kinda off putting. How's the new job going?..."


My inlaws do this. My wife has clearly shown her disdain for their politics or bringing up politics, they're fox news on every TV, 24/7, conservatives. To the point it's clear, to anyone who cares, that politics is just a **** show to bring up. What do they do when we have a get-together shortly before this election? Two Trump signs either side of the entry to their house.

They've never in their lives placed political signs, niether have we. Obviously was a painful "oh ok, so we're trolling our own children now, excellent" moment. You might see how that could push someone away? We haven't disowned them like your daughter, but they're on that line where trolling politics ranks above their family. Kinda ****ty.

Is that going on?

EDIT: almost forgot about the poster calling all democrats are comminists out to round them up and eliminate them. Grow tf up.


We don't troll our daughter with politics. But thanks for your concern trolling.

And No we do not generally discuss politics with her. But she knows where we stand and tries to provoke. There is no 'let's agree to disagree'.

If you and your family can't handle Trump signs in your family members yard of Fox tv being on … maybe you are the problem?

I don't walk into any family members house and get offended that CNN or MsNBC is on a screen…
Thought maybe you'd like to hear from "the other side", apologize if you only wanted echo's. I wasn't trolling you.

I gave a real world example where no one was disowned, we still hangout like a normal family, but have polar opposite views...

No one is offended by the TVs, I was giving a gauge of how political they are. Normal people don't leave a single political channel playing 24/7.

If you want to ignore the context surrounding the signs, again, fine.

The OP is not looking for advice. He is looking for people in the echo chamber to tell him what he is doing is OK and he didn't do anything wrong. It's not OK and whatever he did or is doing is absolutely not working.

There is plenty of sound advice from multiple people, it is advice that is different than the echo chamber's. They have all explained how to support the child without agreeing or supporting the 'thing' that is hanging him up.

You led the horse to water.....and it will now fall over and die of thirst. My old man is the same way. He knows what the answers are to have a relationship with his children, he just willfully ignores them. Some people simply don't want help.
One Louder
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BrazosDog02 said:

ETFan said:

TheEternalOptimist said:

ETFan said:

Me thinks this is a two way street with two hard heads. Politics must clearly rank above your children if, when brought up, there's enough push back from you to cause them to pull away that hard. That said, they are being unreasonable too.

For example, if the topic of musk came up, you must have voiced your appreciation of him over your daughters concerns of him being a **** head. Have you tried just agreeing? Being the bigger adult? Agree to disagree, politely?

Daughter "hey, I think musk is a nazi, he gave a nazi salute!" You "Yeah, that was a questionable move. Maybe he was trolling? Either way I hope he does better because that's kinda off putting. How's the new job going?..."


My inlaws do this. My wife has clearly shown her disdain for their politics or bringing up politics, they're fox news on every TV, 24/7, conservatives. To the point it's clear, to anyone who cares, that politics is just a **** show to bring up. What do they do when we have a get-together shortly before this election? Two Trump signs either side of the entry to their house.

They've never in their lives placed political signs, niether have we. Obviously was a painful "oh ok, so we're trolling our own children now, excellent" moment. You might see how that could push someone away? We haven't disowned them like your daughter, but they're on that line where trolling politics ranks above their family. Kinda ****ty.

Is that going on?

EDIT: almost forgot about the poster calling all democrats are comminists out to round them up and eliminate them. Grow tf up.


We don't troll our daughter with politics. But thanks for your concern trolling.

And No we do not generally discuss politics with her. But she knows where we stand and tries to provoke. There is no 'let's agree to disagree'.

If you and your family can't handle Trump signs in your family members yard of Fox tv being on … maybe you are the problem?

I don't walk into any family members house and get offended that CNN or MsNBC is on a screen…
Thought maybe you'd like to hear from "the other side", apologize if you only wanted echo's. I wasn't trolling you.

I gave a real world example where no one was disowned, we still hangout like a normal family, but have polar opposite views...

No one is offended by the TVs, I was giving a gauge of how political they are. Normal people don't leave a single political channel playing 24/7.

If you want to ignore the context surrounding the signs, again, fine.

The OP is not looking for advice. He is looking for people in the echo chamber to tell him what he is doing is OK and he didn't do anything wrong. It's not OK and whatever he did or is doing is absolutely not working.

There is plenty of sound advice from multiple people, it is advice that is different than the echo chamber's. They have all explained how to support the child without agreeing or supporting the 'thing' that is hanging him up.

You led the horse to water.....and it will now fall over and die of thirst. My old man is the same way. He knows what the answers are to have a relationship with his children, he just willfully ignores them. Some people simply don't want help.


Go back and read the OP. OP is not asking for advice. OP is lamenting the fact that the left is so incredibly hard-core with their own secular religion that they fail to see that they are just as stubborn in their beliefs as they believe Christians are. In fact, OP is happy to have a relationship with his child but the child wants complete and total acceptance of her lifestyle.

OP, as a Christian, has a set of beliefs and standards that he shouldn't compromise on. OP also knows that it isn't his place to judge his daughter, leaving that to God. His job is to love, and he does. The daughter is the one that already knows the OP's beliefs system because she grew up in it. The only difference is that now it's acceptable to cut off one's parents because the parents won't disavow everything that means anything to them.

It's one thing to tolerate, which OP has stated he is willing to do to save the relationship but that's not enough for OP's daughter. OP's daughter wants total affirmation and she is emotionally blackmailing her parents to get it.

It's evil and disgusting and an epidemic.
TheEternalOptimist
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One Louder said:

BrazosDog02 said:

ETFan said:

TheEternalOptimist said:

ETFan said:

Me thinks this is a two way street with two hard heads. Politics must clearly rank above your children if, when brought up, there's enough push back from you to cause them to pull away that hard. That said, they are being unreasonable too.

For example, if the topic of musk came up, you must have voiced your appreciation of him over your daughters concerns of him being a **** head. Have you tried just agreeing? Being the bigger adult? Agree to disagree, politely?

Daughter "hey, I think musk is a nazi, he gave a nazi salute!" You "Yeah, that was a questionable move. Maybe he was trolling? Either way I hope he does better because that's kinda off putting. How's the new job going?..."


My inlaws do this. My wife has clearly shown her disdain for their politics or bringing up politics, they're fox news on every TV, 24/7, conservatives. To the point it's clear, to anyone who cares, that politics is just a **** show to bring up. What do they do when we have a get-together shortly before this election? Two Trump signs either side of the entry to their house.

They've never in their lives placed political signs, niether have we. Obviously was a painful "oh ok, so we're trolling our own children now, excellent" moment. You might see how that could push someone away? We haven't disowned them like your daughter, but they're on that line where trolling politics ranks above their family. Kinda ****ty.

Is that going on?

EDIT: almost forgot about the poster calling all democrats are comminists out to round them up and eliminate them. Grow tf up.


We don't troll our daughter with politics. But thanks for your concern trolling.

And No we do not generally discuss politics with her. But she knows where we stand and tries to provoke. There is no 'let's agree to disagree'.

If you and your family can't handle Trump signs in your family members yard of Fox tv being on … maybe you are the problem?

I don't walk into any family members house and get offended that CNN or MsNBC is on a screen…
Thought maybe you'd like to hear from "the other side", apologize if you only wanted echo's. I wasn't trolling you.

I gave a real world example where no one was disowned, we still hangout like a normal family, but have polar opposite views...

No one is offended by the TVs, I was giving a gauge of how political they are. Normal people don't leave a single political channel playing 24/7.

If you want to ignore the context surrounding the signs, again, fine.

The OP is not looking for advice. He is looking for people in the echo chamber to tell him what he is doing is OK and he didn't do anything wrong. It's not OK and whatever he did or is doing is absolutely not working.

There is plenty of sound advice from multiple people, it is advice that is different than the echo chamber's. They have all explained how to support the child without agreeing or supporting the 'thing' that is hanging him up.

You led the horse to water.....and it will now fall over and die of thirst. My old man is the same way. He knows what the answers are to have a relationship with his children, he just willfully ignores them. Some people simply don't want help.


Go back and read the OP. OP is not asking for advice. OP is lamenting the fact that the left is so incredibly hard-core with their own secular religion that they fail to see that they are just as stubborn in their beliefs as they believe Christians are. In fact, OP is happy to have a relationship with his child but the child wants complete and total acceptance of her lifestyle.

OP, as a Christian, has a set of beliefs and standards that he shouldn't compromise on. OP also knows that it isn't his place to judge his daughter, leaving that to God. His job is to love, and he does. The daughter is the one that already knows the OP's beliefs system because she grew up in it. The only difference is that now it's acceptable to cut off one's parents because the parents won't disavow everything that means anything to them.

It's one thing to tolerate, which OP has stated he is willing to do to save the relationship but that's not enough for OP's daughter. OP's daughter wants total affirmation and she is emotionally blackmailing her parents to get it.

It's evil and disgusting and an epidemic.
^ Thank You. You worded this better than I could.
shhopkins
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AG
I appreciate your bravery to speak about this.

I have an inverse situation. My parents had a nasty divorce when I was 7 years old. My mother hated my father more than she loved her kids. When I was 11-years old, she woke me up and gave me her retirement account information and told me that she was going into the garage and was going to kill herself.

She started her vehicle with the garage door down and let her vehicle run for a couple minutes , I was a kid, but ran into the garage and pulled open the Garage, this was 1990 and I lifted the garage door (before electric openers)

While I was holding the garage door open, she got out of her vehicle and punched me in the nose (still kind of broke to the side to this day).

She finally went to bed. Years of physical and mental abuse went by, I am now 45 and have 2 great kids and have no contact with her and have no idea how it would be possible for a parent to put their kids through that trauma.

She has mental health issues and if she would ever address it, I would engage, but could never subject my family to her circus.
damiond
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cut her off now

you need to make clear that she is not your daughter if she can not live as a moral and ethical person

god will take it from there
Tanya 93
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Is is far left or just estranged
ts5641
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That's brutal. Sorry brother.
ts5641
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El Gallo Blanco said:

TheEternalOptimist said:

......who calls you 'Nazi' and says 'You are not my parents'. Who rejects the precepts of God and morality.

I can not be alone. But it is a very lonely feeling at times.

Thankful for my other two children who encourage me to be faithful and stand true.

What we are dealing with personally has made me loathe the whole woke nonsense even more. It is a mind virus and it harms families deeply. I righteously resent it.
Never stop praying that they will come back...even though it may make things more painful, always remember how much you loved them when they were going through those early stages of life, and how they were your entire world.

If you haven't tried, maybe write them a "love letter" of sorts explaining the type of love a parent has for a child.

This is honestly one of my biggest fears...I have an almost-4 year old who is just completely obsessed with me and sees me as her number one protector. I figured, if I am lucky, I have maybe 8-10 more years of her thinking I'm pretty cool. She is an only child, so I don't know how I would handle her rejecting me. At least you have the two other offspring.

Never give up on the wayward one though...you never know. The woke mind virus is NOT incurable. And many kids dabble ini all forms of rebellion at that age...goth sh**, drugs, drinking, bad behavior, taking up stupid cause etc etc.
I read something once when my kids were young. All parenting is done by age 12. After that it's just reaffirming what they've been taught by word and deed.
dermdoc
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TheEternalOptimist said:

TheCurl84 said:

Sorry to hear it. And your username must be hard to live up to when facing things like this, my friend.
Somehow God is using this for my good..... but ultimately ..... for HIS GLORY.

At the foot of the Cross there is Hope. Always.


Incredible attitude. You made my morning.
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Rattler12
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One Louder said:

BrazosDog02 said:

ETFan said:

TheEternalOptimist said:

ETFan said:

Me thinks this is a two way street with two hard heads. Politics must clearly rank above your children if, when brought up, there's enough push back from you to cause them to pull away that hard. That said, they are being unreasonable too.

For example, if the topic of musk came up, you must have voiced your appreciation of him over your daughters concerns of him being a **** head. Have you tried just agreeing? Being the bigger adult? Agree to disagree, politely?

Daughter "hey, I think musk is a nazi, he gave a nazi salute!" You "Yeah, that was a questionable move. Maybe he was trolling? Either way I hope he does better because that's kinda off putting. How's the new job going?..."


My inlaws do this. My wife has clearly shown her disdain for their politics or bringing up politics, they're fox news on every TV, 24/7, conservatives. To the point it's clear, to anyone who cares, that politics is just a **** show to bring up. What do they do when we have a get-together shortly before this election? Two Trump signs either side of the entry to their house.

They've never in their lives placed political signs, niether have we. Obviously was a painful "oh ok, so we're trolling our own children now, excellent" moment. You might see how that could push someone away? We haven't disowned them like your daughter, but they're on that line where trolling politics ranks above their family. Kinda ****ty.

Is that going on?

EDIT: almost forgot about the poster calling all democrats are comminists out to round them up and eliminate them. Grow tf up.


We don't troll our daughter with politics. But thanks for your concern trolling.

And No we do not generally discuss politics with her. But she knows where we stand and tries to provoke. There is no 'let's agree to disagree'.

If you and your family can't handle Trump signs in your family members yard of Fox tv being on … maybe you are the problem?

I don't walk into any family members house and get offended that CNN or MsNBC is on a screen…
Thought maybe you'd like to hear from "the other side", apologize if you only wanted echo's. I wasn't trolling you.

I gave a real world example where no one was disowned, we still hangout like a normal family, but have polar opposite views...

No one is offended by the TVs, I was giving a gauge of how political they are. Normal people don't leave a single political channel playing 24/7.

If you want to ignore the context surrounding the signs, again, fine.

The OP is not looking for advice. He is looking for people in the echo chamber to tell him what he is doing is OK and he didn't do anything wrong. It's not OK and whatever he did or is doing is absolutely not working.

There is plenty of sound advice from multiple people, it is advice that is different than the echo chamber's. They have all explained how to support the child without agreeing or supporting the 'thing' that is hanging him up.

You led the horse to water.....and it will now fall over and die of thirst. My old man is the same way. He knows what the answers are to have a relationship with his children, he just willfully ignores them. Some people simply don't want help.


Go back and read the OP. OP is not asking for advice. OP is lamenting the fact that the left is so incredibly hard-core with their own secular religion that they fail to see that they are just as stubborn in their beliefs as they believe Christians are. In fact, OP is happy to have a relationship with his child but the child wants complete and total acceptance of her lifestyle.

OP, as a Christian, has a set of beliefs and standards that he shouldn't compromise on. OP also knows that it isn't his place to judge his daughter, leaving that to God. His job is to love, and he does. The daughter is the one that already knows the OP's beliefs system because she grew up in it. The only difference is that now it's acceptable to cut off one's parents because the parents won't disavow everything that means anything to them.

It's one thing to tolerate, which OP has stated he is willing to do to save the relationship but that's not enough for OP's daughter. OP's daughter wants total affirmation and she is emotionally blackmailing her parents to get it.

It's evil and disgusting and an epidemic.
"lamenting the fact that the left is so incredibly hard-core with their own secular religion that they fail to see that they are just as stubborn in their beliefs as they believe Christians are."

"lamenting the fact that the right is so incredibly hard-core with their own beliefs that they fail to see that they are just as stubborn in their beliefs as they believe the folks on the left are."

Change a few words and the sentiment still fits. Some of us on BOTH sides are what we abhor in the other.....just blind to the reality of such..........jm2c's
One Louder
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AG
There's a reason I wrote the other two-and-a-half paragraphs.
Captain Winky
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[You made your point. No need to troll the board with it -- Staff]
Tanya 93
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Some of the issues may be parents who tell their kids that if you don't do what I want, we will disown you.

No payment for college, no allowance, no car.

It's their money and they can do what they want but it is not conducive to good relationships
Jeeper79
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AG
damiond said:

cut her off now

you need to make clear that she is not your daughter if she can not live as a moral and ethical person

god will take it from there
Thats terrible advice.
damiond
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And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
torrid
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Tanya 93 said:

Some of the issues may be parents who tell their kids that if you don't do what I want, we will disown you.

No payment for college, no allowance, no car.

It's their money and they can do what they want but it is not conducive to good relationships
I sense two people both with their heels dug in.
Tanya 93
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torrid said:

Tanya 93 said:

Some of the issues may be parents who tell their kids that if you don't do what I want, we will disown you.

No payment for college, no allowance, no car.

It's their money and they can do what they want but it is not conducive to good relationships
I sense two people both with their heels dug in.


I don't have this problem

I am very lucky to have the Demon Spawn

I don't expect him to be like me. Except in sending Thank you notes. And I adore being his mom

There are no threats in our relationship
BrazosDog02
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AG
We'll agree to disagree. I've not only read the thread, I've processed comments from the OP for 7 pages. They are not consistent with anyone truly interested in doing anything other than complain and self validate. I have a small book written with the OP quotes over 7 pages. They don't convince me that it's a problem that wants to be solved. I opted not to post it because it's long, isn't going to change the groupthink here, and I don't care about being right or winning that much. My kids didn't 'end up' as liberals, so what the **** do I know about it? I gave my advice, use it or not. There is good advice from several.

Part of the reason I even responded was because I know this situation and I do hope he can solve it because it's a long long long and empty life if he doesn't.

I truly hope it works out better than my old man and me. Our relationship over the past 20 years is me thinking to myself 2 times a year "Is that ******* still alive?" Only thing I want from him when he dies is for the police to call me so I can get over there and find my Snap On timing light in the shop. I can't find it anywhere and I think that's where it is.
redcrayon
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BrazosDog02 said:

We'll agree to disagree. I've not only read the thread, I've processed comments from the OP for 7 pages. They are not consistent with anyone truly interested in doing anything other than complain and self validate. I have a small book written with the OP quotes over 7 pages. They don't convince me that it's a problem that wants to be solved. W I opted not to post it because it's long, isn't going to change the groupthink here, and I don't care about being right or winning that much. My kids didn't 'end up' as liberals, so what the **** do I know about it? I gave my advice, use it or not. There is good advice from several.

Part of the reason I even responded was because I know this situation and I do hope he can solve it because it's a long long long and empty life if he doesn't.

I truly hope it works out better than my old man and me. Our relationship over the past 20 years is me thinking to myself 2 times a year "Is that ******* still alive?" Only thing I want from him when he dies is for the police to call me so I can get over there and find my Snap On timing light in the shop. I can't find it anywhere and I think that's where it is.

Wait...what??
Ags4DaWin
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Tanya 93 said:

torrid said:

Tanya 93 said:

Some of the issues may be parents who tell their kids that if you don't do what I want, we will disown you.

No payment for college, no allowance, no car.

It's their money and they can do what they want but it is not conducive to good relationships
I sense two people both with their heels dug in.


I don't have this problem

I am very lucky to have the Demon Spawn

I don't expect him to be like me. Except in sending Thank you notes. And I adore being his mom

There are no threats in our relationship


Question-

If he wanted you to bankroll him so that he has the funds to do something you thought was immoral OR something you felt strongly would be to the detriment of his life would you do it?

I see nothing wrong with a parent saying to their child

"We are willing to sacrifice to help you pursue and achieve a life that braces the same values we embrace. If you want to be your own person and reject the morals we live by and be independent of those morals and us, then you are welcome and have the freedom to do so. We still love you, but we cannot fund such a decision."

If someone has that much conviction in their beliefs that they are willing to pursue them independently if necessary then that is good for them.

But I as a parent do not feel obligated one bit to bankroll someone else's pursuit of a lifestyle that rejects my own sense of morality, be it my blood or a stranger, wanting to pursue those things.

Getting back to the above analogy, imagine that Benny became an alcoholic and wanted you to help pay his rent.

He is perfectly capable of paying his own rent if he did not apend 1,000 bucks a month on alcohol. But in order to fund his alcoholism and have a roof over his head he needs you to hive him 1,000 bucks a month.

Would it be in your interests or his for you to do so?

Has nothing to do with punishment.

It has everything to do with the fact that if I am bankrolling a lifestyle or action that I believe is going to be harmful to my child, enabling and bankrolling that behavior makes me an active participant in the destruction of my child and makes me a bad parent and on some level partly responsible for how they are hurting themself.

If my child is an adult and wants to independently make such harmful choices then they bear the sole responsibility for the harm they are doing themself.
BrazosDog02
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AG
redcrayon said:

BrazosDog02 said:

We'll agree to disagree. I've not only read the thread, I've processed comments from the OP for 7 pages. They are not consistent with anyone truly interested in doing anything other than complain and self validate. I have a small book written with the OP quotes over 7 pages. They don't convince me that it's a problem that wants to be solved. W I opted not to post it because it's long, isn't going to change the groupthink here, and I don't care about being right or winning that much. My kids didn't 'end up' as liberals, so what the **** do I know about it? I gave my advice, use it or not. There is good advice from several.

Part of the reason I even responded was because I know this situation and I do hope he can solve it because it's a long long long and empty life if he doesn't.

I truly hope it works out better than my old man and me. Our relationship over the past 20 years is me thinking to myself 2 times a year "Is that ******* still alive?" Only thing I want from him when he dies is for the police to call me so I can get over there and find my Snap On timing light in the shop. I can't find it anywhere and I think that's where it is.

Wait...what??
I just meant I reviewed the thread and cut and pasted quotes. It amounts to a small book, or a lengthy post. It will bring no additional value to the thread, so I didn't litter it with that. I am just frustrated with the situation. I would like nothing more than for my very much alive father to make amends and fix a situation, and I recognize the OP situation as being quite parallel to mine, minus the liberal lesbian part.
Rattler12
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torrid said:

Tanya 93 said:

Some of the issues may be parents who tell their kids that if you don't do what I want, we will disown you.

No payment for college, no allowance, no car.

It's their money and they can do what they want but it is not conducive to good relationships
I sense two people both with their heels dug in.
Yep ..........need a little more human compassion and a little less Bible thumping. What would Jesus do?
Tanya 93
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Ags4DaWin said:

Tanya 93 said:

torrid said:

Tanya 93 said:

Some of the issues may be parents who tell their kids that if you don't do what I want, we will disown you.

No payment for college, no allowance, no car.

It's their money and they can do what they want but it is not conducive to good relationships
I sense two people both with their heels dug in.


I don't have this problem

I am very lucky to have the Demon Spawn

I don't expect him to be like me. Except in sending Thank you notes. And I adore being his mom

There are no threats in our relationship


Getting back to the above analogy, imagine that Benny became an alcoholic and wanted you to help pay his rent.

He is perfectly capable of paying his own rent if he did not apend 1,000 bucks a month on alcohol. But in order to fund his alcoholism and have a roof over his head he needs you to hive him 1,000 bucks a month.

Would it be in your interests or his for you to do so?

Has nothing to do with punishment.

It has everything to do with the fact that if I am bankrolling a lifestyle or action that I believe is going to be harmful to my child, enabling and bankrolling that behavior makes me an active participant in the destruction of my child and makes me a bad parent and on some level partly responsible for how they are hurting themself.

If my child is an adult and wants to independently make such harmful choices then they bear the sole responsibility for the harm they are doing themself.




As a someone in recovery, I couldn't do much in recovery to bankroll him. But he wouldn't ask anyway. It is just not hiis style.

Wish I could discuss more right now, but I am being switched floors again. So tired of tests.

At least last night Demon Spawn and I had fun picking songs to play at my funeral

Love Shack
Always Look on the Bright side of Life
Ding Dong the Witch is Dead
The Homecoming Queen has got a Gun
Highway to Hell
I lost on Jeopardy

The Dilaudid is creeping in, so I will get back with you later

Take Care
torrid
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AG
wrong thread
Bob Lee
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AG
Rattler12 said:

One Louder said:

BrazosDog02 said:

ETFan said:

TheEternalOptimist said:

ETFan said:

Me thinks this is a two way street with two hard heads. Politics must clearly rank above your children if, when brought up, there's enough push back from you to cause them to pull away that hard. That said, they are being unreasonable too.

For example, if the topic of musk came up, you must have voiced your appreciation of him over your daughters concerns of him being a **** head. Have you tried just agreeing? Being the bigger adult? Agree to disagree, politely?

Daughter "hey, I think musk is a nazi, he gave a nazi salute!" You "Yeah, that was a questionable move. Maybe he was trolling? Either way I hope he does better because that's kinda off putting. How's the new job going?..."


My inlaws do this. My wife has clearly shown her disdain for their politics or bringing up politics, they're fox news on every TV, 24/7, conservatives. To the point it's clear, to anyone who cares, that politics is just a **** show to bring up. What do they do when we have a get-together shortly before this election? Two Trump signs either side of the entry to their house.

They've never in their lives placed political signs, niether have we. Obviously was a painful "oh ok, so we're trolling our own children now, excellent" moment. You might see how that could push someone away? We haven't disowned them like your daughter, but they're on that line where trolling politics ranks above their family. Kinda ****ty.

Is that going on?

EDIT: almost forgot about the poster calling all democrats are comminists out to round them up and eliminate them. Grow tf up.


We don't troll our daughter with politics. But thanks for your concern trolling.

And No we do not generally discuss politics with her. But she knows where we stand and tries to provoke. There is no 'let's agree to disagree'.

If you and your family can't handle Trump signs in your family members yard of Fox tv being on … maybe you are the problem?

I don't walk into any family members house and get offended that CNN or MsNBC is on a screen…
Thought maybe you'd like to hear from "the other side", apologize if you only wanted echo's. I wasn't trolling you.

I gave a real world example where no one was disowned, we still hangout like a normal family, but have polar opposite views...

No one is offended by the TVs, I was giving a gauge of how political they are. Normal people don't leave a single political channel playing 24/7.

If you want to ignore the context surrounding the signs, again, fine.

The OP is not looking for advice. He is looking for people in the echo chamber to tell him what he is doing is OK and he didn't do anything wrong. It's not OK and whatever he did or is doing is absolutely not working.

There is plenty of sound advice from multiple people, it is advice that is different than the echo chamber's. They have all explained how to support the child without agreeing or supporting the 'thing' that is hanging him up.

You led the horse to water.....and it will now fall over and die of thirst. My old man is the same way. He knows what the answers are to have a relationship with his children, he just willfully ignores them. Some people simply don't want help.


Go back and read the OP. OP is not asking for advice. OP is lamenting the fact that the left is so incredibly hard-core with their own secular religion that they fail to see that they are just as stubborn in their beliefs as they believe Christians are. In fact, OP is happy to have a relationship with his child but the child wants complete and total acceptance of her lifestyle.

OP, as a Christian, has a set of beliefs and standards that he shouldn't compromise on. OP also knows that it isn't his place to judge his daughter, leaving that to God. His job is to love, and he does. The daughter is the one that already knows the OP's beliefs system because she grew up in it. The only difference is that now it's acceptable to cut off one's parents because the parents won't disavow everything that means anything to them.

It's one thing to tolerate, which OP has stated he is willing to do to save the relationship but that's not enough for OP's daughter. OP's daughter wants total affirmation and she is emotionally blackmailing her parents to get it.

It's evil and disgusting and an epidemic.
"lamenting the fact that the left is so incredibly hard-core with their own secular religion that they fail to see that they are just as stubborn in their beliefs as they believe Christians are."

"lamenting the fact that the right is so incredibly hard-core with their own beliefs that they fail to see that they are just as stubborn in their beliefs as they believe the folks on the left are."

Change a few words and the sentiment still fits. Some of us on BOTH sides are what we abhor in the other.....just blind to the reality of such..........jm2c's


The difference is Christians don't believe what we believe on our own authority. We're actually right. That's the difference.
Rattler12
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Bob Lee said:

Rattler12 said:

One Louder said:

BrazosDog02 said:

ETFan said:

TheEternalOptimist said:

ETFan said:

Me thinks this is a two way street with two hard heads. Politics must clearly rank above your children if, when brought up, there's enough push back from you to cause them to pull away that hard. That said, they are being unreasonable too.

For example, if the topic of musk came up, you must have voiced your appreciation of him over your daughters concerns of him being a **** head. Have you tried just agreeing? Being the bigger adult? Agree to disagree, politely?

Daughter "hey, I think musk is a nazi, he gave a nazi salute!" You "Yeah, that was a questionable move. Maybe he was trolling? Either way I hope he does better because that's kinda off putting. How's the new job going?..."


My inlaws do this. My wife has clearly shown her disdain for their politics or bringing up politics, they're fox news on every TV, 24/7, conservatives. To the point it's clear, to anyone who cares, that politics is just a **** show to bring up. What do they do when we have a get-together shortly before this election? Two Trump signs either side of the entry to their house.

They've never in their lives placed political signs, niether have we. Obviously was a painful "oh ok, so we're trolling our own children now, excellent" moment. You might see how that could push someone away? We haven't disowned them like your daughter, but they're on that line where trolling politics ranks above their family. Kinda ****ty.

Is that going on?

EDIT: almost forgot about the poster calling all democrats are comminists out to round them up and eliminate them. Grow tf up.


We don't troll our daughter with politics. But thanks for your concern trolling.

And No we do not generally discuss politics with her. But she knows where we stand and tries to provoke. There is no 'let's agree to disagree'.

If you and your family can't handle Trump signs in your family members yard of Fox tv being on … maybe you are the problem?

I don't walk into any family members house and get offended that CNN or MsNBC is on a screen…
Thought maybe you'd like to hear from "the other side", apologize if you only wanted echo's. I wasn't trolling you.

I gave a real world example where no one was disowned, we still hangout like a normal family, but have polar opposite views...

No one is offended by the TVs, I was giving a gauge of how political they are. Normal people don't leave a single political channel playing 24/7.

If you want to ignore the context surrounding the signs, again, fine.

The OP is not looking for advice. He is looking for people in the echo chamber to tell him what he is doing is OK and he didn't do anything wrong. It's not OK and whatever he did or is doing is absolutely not working.

There is plenty of sound advice from multiple people, it is advice that is different than the echo chamber's. They have all explained how to support the child without agreeing or supporting the 'thing' that is hanging him up.

You led the horse to water.....and it will now fall over and die of thirst. My old man is the same way. He knows what the answers are to have a relationship with his children, he just willfully ignores them. Some people simply don't want help.


Go back and read the OP. OP is not asking for advice. OP is lamenting the fact that the left is so incredibly hard-core with their own secular religion that they fail to see that they are just as stubborn in their beliefs as they believe Christians are. In fact, OP is happy to have a relationship with his child but the child wants complete and total acceptance of her lifestyle.

OP, as a Christian, has a set of beliefs and standards that he shouldn't compromise on. OP also knows that it isn't his place to judge his daughter, leaving that to God. His job is to love, and he does. The daughter is the one that already knows the OP's beliefs system because she grew up in it. The only difference is that now it's acceptable to cut off one's parents because the parents won't disavow everything that means anything to them.

It's one thing to tolerate, which OP has stated he is willing to do to save the relationship but that's not enough for OP's daughter. OP's daughter wants total affirmation and she is emotionally blackmailing her parents to get it.

It's evil and disgusting and an epidemic.
"lamenting the fact that the left is so incredibly hard-core with their own secular religion that they fail to see that they are just as stubborn in their beliefs as they believe Christians are."

"lamenting the fact that the right is so incredibly hard-core with their own beliefs that they fail to see that they are just as stubborn in their beliefs as they believe the folks on the left are."

Change a few words and the sentiment still fits. Some of us on BOTH sides are what we abhor in the other.....just blind to the reality of such..........jm2c's


The difference is Christians don't believe what we believe on our own authority. We're actually right. That's the difference.
You missed the point Amigo
Bob Lee
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AG
Rattler12 said:

Bob Lee said:

Rattler12 said:

One Louder said:

BrazosDog02 said:

ETFan said:

TheEternalOptimist said:

ETFan said:

Me thinks this is a two way street with two hard heads. Politics must clearly rank above your children if, when brought up, there's enough push back from you to cause them to pull away that hard. That said, they are being unreasonable too.

For example, if the topic of musk came up, you must have voiced your appreciation of him over your daughters concerns of him being a **** head. Have you tried just agreeing? Being the bigger adult? Agree to disagree, politely?

Daughter "hey, I think musk is a nazi, he gave a nazi salute!" You "Yeah, that was a questionable move. Maybe he was trolling? Either way I hope he does better because that's kinda off putting. How's the new job going?..."


My inlaws do this. My wife has clearly shown her disdain for their politics or bringing up politics, they're fox news on every TV, 24/7, conservatives. To the point it's clear, to anyone who cares, that politics is just a **** show to bring up. What do they do when we have a get-together shortly before this election? Two Trump signs either side of the entry to their house.

They've never in their lives placed political signs, niether have we. Obviously was a painful "oh ok, so we're trolling our own children now, excellent" moment. You might see how that could push someone away? We haven't disowned them like your daughter, but they're on that line where trolling politics ranks above their family. Kinda ****ty.

Is that going on?

EDIT: almost forgot about the poster calling all democrats are comminists out to round them up and eliminate them. Grow tf up.


We don't troll our daughter with politics. But thanks for your concern trolling.

And No we do not generally discuss politics with her. But she knows where we stand and tries to provoke. There is no 'let's agree to disagree'.

If you and your family can't handle Trump signs in your family members yard of Fox tv being on … maybe you are the problem?

I don't walk into any family members house and get offended that CNN or MsNBC is on a screen…
Thought maybe you'd like to hear from "the other side", apologize if you only wanted echo's. I wasn't trolling you.

I gave a real world example where no one was disowned, we still hangout like a normal family, but have polar opposite views...

No one is offended by the TVs, I was giving a gauge of how political they are. Normal people don't leave a single political channel playing 24/7.

If you want to ignore the context surrounding the signs, again, fine.

The OP is not looking for advice. He is looking for people in the echo chamber to tell him what he is doing is OK and he didn't do anything wrong. It's not OK and whatever he did or is doing is absolutely not working.

There is plenty of sound advice from multiple people, it is advice that is different than the echo chamber's. They have all explained how to support the child without agreeing or supporting the 'thing' that is hanging him up.

You led the horse to water.....and it will now fall over and die of thirst. My old man is the same way. He knows what the answers are to have a relationship with his children, he just willfully ignores them. Some people simply don't want help.


Go back and read the OP. OP is not asking for advice. OP is lamenting the fact that the left is so incredibly hard-core with their own secular religion that they fail to see that they are just as stubborn in their beliefs as they believe Christians are. In fact, OP is happy to have a relationship with his child but the child wants complete and total acceptance of her lifestyle.

OP, as a Christian, has a set of beliefs and standards that he shouldn't compromise on. OP also knows that it isn't his place to judge his daughter, leaving that to God. His job is to love, and he does. The daughter is the one that already knows the OP's beliefs system because she grew up in it. The only difference is that now it's acceptable to cut off one's parents because the parents won't disavow everything that means anything to them.

It's one thing to tolerate, which OP has stated he is willing to do to save the relationship but that's not enough for OP's daughter. OP's daughter wants total affirmation and she is emotionally blackmailing her parents to get it.

It's evil and disgusting and an epidemic.
"lamenting the fact that the left is so incredibly hard-core with their own secular religion that they fail to see that they are just as stubborn in their beliefs as they believe Christians are."

"lamenting the fact that the right is so incredibly hard-core with their own beliefs that they fail to see that they are just as stubborn in their beliefs as they believe the folks on the left are."

Change a few words and the sentiment still fits. Some of us on BOTH sides are what we abhor in the other.....just blind to the reality of such..........jm2c's


The difference is Christians don't believe what we believe on our own authority. We're actually right. That's the difference.
You missed the point Amigo


No I didn't. Bending to the will of God makes sense. Bending to your individual will, if you're a woke leftist is incoherent because even if liberals are right, conservatives are right. Being staunch in your Christianity is coherent. Being a hardcore leftist is incoherent.
Ags4DaWin
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Sucks that you are going through this. Hope you feel better.

Not trying to give you ****, just trying to put it into a different context.

Because for me it's not "do what I want or I will take away my support".

That is a very hateful, manipulative and angry approach

For me as a parent it is "I cannot enable activity that I believe is harmful to you because I love you. I will not try to stop you or manipulate you into changing. You are an adult who deserves independence if you want it, but that independence means that if you choose a harmful activity or lifestyle you must bear all responsibility for the consequences of that lifestyle or activity because I can't as your parent knowingly help you hurt yourself.
JP76
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Sometimes you just have to learn to love people from a distance.
Bottlerocket
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AG
OP, your situation sounds really tough. I can somewhat relate. I grew up in a very conservative Christian household and private school. My older sister after 15 years of marriage divorced, is now a lesbian, doesn't attend church and leans left.

I firmly believe homosexuality is a sin. HOWEVER, it's not my job to convince my sister of that. My job is to truly love her. So many of her friends have turned away from her, told her to pray the gay away and call them back when she changed. This has gutted her and pushed her further away from God.
She was born this way. She's always been masculine and just gave that vibe. Her 15 yr marriage was a sham, and she spent most of it in counseling trying to pray away the gay. Didn't work.

It took my ultra conservative parents years to even begin to open up about this topic and be somewhat accepting. And that is a huge step forward. My sister just wants love and acceptance. If all of us Christians push away our gay family members, shame on us. I truly love her and still spent time with her. Her GF comes around about half the time with her, but she isn't invited on trips or holidays. We definitely set boundaries, bc I have 3 kids watching how I handle this. But ultimately I want my kids to see I love my sister and it's not my job to make her straight. My sister was once was a strong believer and I prayer fervently she sorts this out with Him and gets back into church.

Basically what I'm saying OP is love your daughter. Flaws and sins and all. It doesn't mean you accept it, but she's your daughter.
Rattler12
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Bob Lee said:

Rattler12 said:

Bob Lee said:

Rattler12 said:

One Louder said:

BrazosDog02 said:

ETFan said:

TheEternalOptimist said:

ETFan said:

Me thinks this is a two way street with two hard heads. Politics must clearly rank above your children if, when brought up, there's enough push back from you to cause them to pull away that hard. That said, they are being unreasonable too.

For example, if the topic of musk came up, you must have voiced your appreciation of him over your daughters concerns of him being a **** head. Have you tried just agreeing? Being the bigger adult? Agree to disagree, politely?

Daughter "hey, I think musk is a nazi, he gave a nazi salute!" You "Yeah, that was a questionable move. Maybe he was trolling? Either way I hope he does better because that's kinda off putting. How's the new job going?..."


My inlaws do this. My wife has clearly shown her disdain for their politics or bringing up politics, they're fox news on every TV, 24/7, conservatives. To the point it's clear, to anyone who cares, that politics is just a **** show to bring up. What do they do when we have a get-together shortly before this election? Two Trump signs either side of the entry to their house.

They've never in their lives placed political signs, niether have we. Obviously was a painful "oh ok, so we're trolling our own children now, excellent" moment. You might see how that could push someone away? We haven't disowned them like your daughter, but they're on that line where trolling politics ranks above their family. Kinda ****ty.

Is that going on?

EDIT: almost forgot about the poster calling all democrats are comminists out to round them up and eliminate them. Grow tf up.


We don't troll our daughter with politics. But thanks for your concern trolling.

And No we do not generally discuss politics with her. But she knows where we stand and tries to provoke. There is no 'let's agree to disagree'.

If you and your family can't handle Trump signs in your family members yard of Fox tv being on … maybe you are the problem?

I don't walk into any family members house and get offended that CNN or MsNBC is on a screen…
Thought maybe you'd like to hear from "the other side", apologize if you only wanted echo's. I wasn't trolling you.

I gave a real world example where no one was disowned, we still hangout like a normal family, but have polar opposite views...

No one is offended by the TVs, I was giving a gauge of how political they are. Normal people don't leave a single political channel playing 24/7.

If you want to ignore the context surrounding the signs, again, fine.

The OP is not looking for advice. He is looking for people in the echo chamber to tell him what he is doing is OK and he didn't do anything wrong. It's not OK and whatever he did or is doing is absolutely not working.

There is plenty of sound advice from multiple people, it is advice that is different than the echo chamber's. They have all explained how to support the child without agreeing or supporting the 'thing' that is hanging him up.

You led the horse to water.....and it will now fall over and die of thirst. My old man is the same way. He knows what the answers are to have a relationship with his children, he just willfully ignores them. Some people simply don't want help.


Go back and read the OP. OP is not asking for advice. OP is lamenting the fact that the left is so incredibly hard-core with their own secular religion that they fail to see that they are just as stubborn in their beliefs as they believe Christians are. In fact, OP is happy to have a relationship with his child but the child wants complete and total acceptance of her lifestyle.

OP, as a Christian, has a set of beliefs and standards that he shouldn't compromise on. OP also knows that it isn't his place to judge his daughter, leaving that to God. His job is to love, and he does. The daughter is the one that already knows the OP's beliefs system because she grew up in it. The only difference is that now it's acceptable to cut off one's parents because the parents won't disavow everything that means anything to them.

It's one thing to tolerate, which OP has stated he is willing to do to save the relationship but that's not enough for OP's daughter. OP's daughter wants total affirmation and she is emotionally blackmailing her parents to get it.

It's evil and disgusting and an epidemic.
"lamenting the fact that the left is so incredibly hard-core with their own secular religion that they fail to see that they are just as stubborn in their beliefs as they believe Christians are."

"lamenting the fact that the right is so incredibly hard-core with their own beliefs that they fail to see that they are just as stubborn in their beliefs as they believe the folks on the left are."

Change a few words and the sentiment still fits. Some of us on BOTH sides are what we abhor in the other.....just blind to the reality of such..........jm2c's


The difference is Christians don't believe what we believe on our own authority. We're actually right. That's the difference.
You missed the point Amigo


No I didn't. Bending to the will of God makes sense. Bending to your individual will, if you're a woke leftist is incoherent because even if liberals are right, conservatives are right. Being staunch in your Christianity is coherent. Being a hardcore leftist is incoherent.
My point wasn't about Christianity as I left the word out of my response to the quote. My point is the far left condemns the far right vehemently for their beliefs and the far right condemn the far left vehemently for their beliefs. Exactly the same personality types just on different sides of the fence .....sorta like 5 years olds arguing and calling each other names
dmart90
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AG
damiond said:

cut her off now

you need to make clear that she is not your daughter if she can not live as a moral and ethical person

god will take it from there

Karma is a *****...
 
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