*** CAPITAL GAINS: THE 2024 JOEY GALLO APPRECIATION THREAD ***

32,438 Views | 376 Replies | Last: 8 days ago by The Porkchop Express
The Porkchop Express
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Despite all the strikeouts and all the laughs, I feel this has to be the defining moment of King Donkey's career. Cold cocked with a glove to the face during the worst rundown in the history of baseball. I can't stop looking at the hilarity of this single frame.

redline248
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
That Nationals coach is standing there wondering if it's too early to retire and start coaching little league. At least no one will care about base running down there.
The Porkchop Express
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
redline248 said:

That Nationals coach is standing there wondering if it's too early to retire and start coaching little league. At least no one will care about base running down there.
A couple of more throws and Judge might have run in and recorded the final out.
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Donkey was only allowed to play one inning tonight, during which the Gnats scored three runs thanks to his inspiring presence.

Had Manager McMoron let him play the whole game, the Gnats would have won 24-7. Instead they came up a run short.

Joey remains stuck at 1,268 Ks after walking in his only plate appearance.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
Dr. Doctor
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
What do you mean? You totally see a 8-6-1-5-6-4-3 double play every day!
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Our Joey hit a 415 foot home run today after being moved to 6th in the batting order. Clearly we should be in CLEAN UP DONKEY territory at this point.

He did also add a nice swinging strikeout to move to 1,271 all time. The next two targets on the list are Juan Gonzalez and Pete Incaviglia.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
The Porkchop Express
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
YokelRidesAgain said:

Our Joey hit a 415 foot home run today after being moved to 6th in the batting order. Clearly we should be in CLEAN UP DONKEY territory at this point.

He did also add a nice swinging strikeout to move to 1,271 all time. The next two targets on the list are Juan Gonzalez and Pete Incaviglia.
Pete Incaviglia was Donkey when Donkey wasn't cool.

185 K as a rookie
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
The Porkchop Express said:

Pete Incaviglia was Donkey when Donkey wasn't cool.

185 K as a rookie
Pete Incaviglia was indeed a great striker-outer for his time, foreshadowing the titanic wave of greatness that would soon wash over Major League Baseball.

But he cannot compare to the Great Donkey (then again, who can?).

Pete Incaviglia: 1277 Ks/4233 ABs/655 RBI
Whiffing average.302, K: RBI ratio 1.95 (near elite)

Joseph Nicholas "King Donkey" Gallo: 1272 Ks/2819 ABs/443 RBI
Whiffing average: .451, K:RBI ratio 2.87 (best all time among qualified whiffers)
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
In today's news, Our Joseph went 0 for 4 with a swinging K.

He is now at 1,272 strikeouts, one behind Juan Gonzalez, who was clearly using performance decreasing drugs to help him strike out.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
Quo Vadis?
How long do you want to ignore this user?
The 609 ops is getting a little scary. We need some more solo home runs and walks
The Porkchop Express
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Big shoutout to the Mariners for being within 22 games of going wire to wire leading all MLB in team strikeouts (1,422) while also finishing dead last in batting average (.217).

The Seamen have 1,422 strikeouts, 45 more than the 2nd-to-worst Rockies. They have struck out 500 more times than the Padres (923 in 141 games).

They are hitting 3 points less than the White Sox, who have lost 40,000 games this year.

On the individual front, Elly de la Cruz has taken over the strikeout lead for individuals with 179 in 138 games played. That is a pace of 207. He's 3 ahead of Ezeuquiel Tovar from Colorado at 176. Both guys are shortstops.

As far as I can tell, Javier Baez is the only other shortstop to ever lead the league in whiffs.

Two-time defending champion Kyle Schwarber is third with 169 in jut 128 games. Schwarber was injured from 6/28 - 7/8 and that might cost him a threepeat unless he can turn it on late. Last player to lead the majors in whiffs 3 straight years was our Patron Saint, Mark Reynolds, who did it from 2008-2010, then also led the AL in 2011 when he switched leagues.

It's real kick in the nads seeing Joey with fewer than 100 strikeouts when we're already in September. 82 strikeouts in 58 games is a pace for 230. he just needs to find the situation that is going to let him thrive and he will elevate to all-time legend.

The fear of course is that you wonder how many chances El Donko has left to be truly great. He'll be 31 in November. What if teams sour on what Maximum Donkey can provide? What if the next Billy Beane isn't out there, willing to be the visionary who puts Joey leadoff 154 games a year?

Despite all the setbacks, Joey is 17th among active players in strikeouts and can easily pass the likes of Manny Machado and Brandon Crawford this month if he gets his turn at bat. Considering the Nationals have had nothing to play for since the beginning of the 2020 season, this should be Donk's time to shine. In case you ever doubt his greatness, he has just 8 fewer strikeouts than Manny Machado, who has 4,085 more plate appearances.

Ultimately, the big loser in a year where Joey is hurt and misused is baseball itself. Think how many pitchers are missing out on incentives because they didn't get an extra 10-15 strikeouts this year by facing Joey Gallo.

Imagine the looks of dismay on legends of young Gallonaut fans when they got to the ballpark for their one special trip with their Pop this summer, looked at the lineup card, and didn't see Donkey's name. Imagine being a dad having to explain to your son that his favorite player isn't in the starting lineup today because he's injured or because he is incredibly bad and does not help the team in any way. How do you dash a kid's dreams like that?

A silent prayer then, for a healthy September, in which Joey strikes out 40 times and hits 17 solo home runs to push his value as a free agent next year. For I dream of a day, when Joey plays 157 games as a Colorado Rockie or a New York Met or dare I even speak it into existence - the hometown hero of the Las Vegas A's. I dream of a chase of a record, with the media tripling at every homestead, where the stress starts to hang so heavy that Joey's nose hair starts to fall out. I dream of Mark Reynolds showing up during the final weekend of the year in a wheelchair - even though he's only 41 years old - and speaking into the mike in a creaky voice, whispering, "I was a great strikeout artist. But today, Joey Gallo is the greatest strikeout artist of all time." The crowd rises as one, people wearing their Donkey ears, braying JO-EY, JO-EY, JO-EY until he takes the top stair, tripping and falling and hyperextending his knee, then rising again and doffing his cap to the crowd after strikeout #224.




YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Demoralizing day for the Donk as he achieved no strikeouts in 7 plate appearances during a Gnats doubleheader. He also had no hits, but reached base three times on 2 walks and a HBP.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
The Porkchop Express
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Had the pleasure of seeing one of this thread's icons, Eugenio Suarez, play in person yesterday.

Eugenio first came to my attention in 2021 when he gave Joey a run for his money for a few months for the MLB strikeout title. At one point the Reds cared so little about baseball that they were batting him leadoff to give him eve more opportunities. Lamentably, he broke his hand late in the year and had to settle for 171 in 145 games.

He has led both league in whiffs in his career - 189 for the Reds in 2019, and then 196 in 2022 and 214 in 2023 for the Mariners. He's recorded 150 in 193 games this year for the Diamondbacks. Yesterday he hit a homer and failed to strike out, but did kick a ball for an unearned run.

YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Donkey has passed "Juan Gone", but the odious Braves of Not Atlanta pitched a left handed starter today because they are jealous of Donkey's greatness, keeping him out of the game.

Our hero remains at 1275, 3 back of Johnny Bench.

Adding insult to injury, the Gnats accidentally won, which will likely convince their idiot manager that his "strategy" is sound.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
DONKEY DOES IT!

With two strikeouts today, he breaks into the top 175 all time, now tied with Todd Zeile in 174th place with 1279 strikeouts!
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
Quo Vadis?
How long do you want to ignore this user?
YokelRidesAgain said:

DONKEY DOES IT!

With two strikeouts today, he breaks into the top 175 all time, now tied with Todd Zeile in 174th place with 1279 strikeouts!

The Porkchop Express
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Jocephus struck out twice last night. He's back to playing regularly and giving the Nationals what they paid for way back in the off-season. Joey is 1 for 16 with 1 home run and 7 strikeouts in his last 5 games.

If he can stay focused, he can still make it to 100 strikeouts this year. He had 92 right now. Doing so would get him into triple digits for the 5th straight year and the 8th time in 9 years, the only exception being 2020 when the season was only 60 games long (he still got 79).

So in a way, you could say the real victim of COVID-19 was Joey Gallo.

Just 67 games played so far this year for our Lord and Donkey, the fewest of his career saving 2019 when he was also hurt. He broke his right hamate bone while having sex with 18 women at once and missed everything from July on that season. The Rangers were 52-51 when he got hurt, and staggered their way to a 25-33 record down the stretch.

He's now just 3 career strikeouts behind Kirk Gibson. If Vin Scully was still alive, I'd like to think he would watch some of Joey's swings and declare, "I don't believe what I just saw!"

Faustus
How long do you want to ignore this user?
This is a thread dedicated to individual accomplishments, but it's worth noting that some of the most impressive strikeout numbers of late have been a collaborative effort.

The number 1 and 2 marks for team strikeouts all time were set last year. The Twins struck out 1,654 times and the Mariners followed suit 1,603 times.

https://www.statmuse.com/mlb/ask/most-strikeouts-in-a-season-by-team

The Mariners knew they had one of the best pitching staffs in baseball, so they set about to rectify this issue in the offseason.

https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/5309874/2024/03/01/seattle-mariners-offense-strikeouts/

Quote:

. . . We have a more well-rounded offense; there's no holes," first baseman Ty France said. "They went out and got guys that they felt could eliminate the strikeout and get on base more, and they got a little bit of slug with Garv. One through nine, it's solid." . . .

Despite the best efforts of management the Mariners have been undeterred in their pursuit of perfection.

According to Statmuse this year's edition of the Mariners are No. 13 all time in strikeouts with 1546 and 9 games to play. It seems certain they'll best their team record mark set last year that came in No. 2 all time.

No. 1 is reachable but it would require an uptick in futility.
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Two Ks yesterday brought Donkey to 94 on the year, only 1 back of Kirk Gibson for #173 all time and 6 away from the dream of triple digits this season.

Unfortunately he has had a tough day at the plate today with a walk and a three run homer, but no strikeouts.

He is probably distracted because his idiot manager (whose name turns out to be "Dave Martinez", who knew?) sent one of his teammates to the minors for drinking and gambling at a casino all night until 3 hours before a game.

Joey should look into that strategy. I bet he could strike out 5 times in four at bats if he was drunk and just lost $20,000 on slots.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Getting to see the active career leader in strikeouts, the great Giancarlo Stanton, who promptly delivers number 1,955!

Giancarlo, non si puo stoparlo! From striking out-o!!
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
JoJo picks up a clutch pitch hit K for the Gnats, who lost 5-0 due to him not starting.

He needs 5 strikeouts in 6 remaining games to salvage a 100 strikeout season.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
The Wrath of the Donkey, or Take That, Rockhead

As all Joey Gallo superfans recall, before he was a Gnat but after he was a Ranger-Yankee-Dodger, Donkey spent a year laboring in Minnesota under the thumb of village idiot and Twins manager, Rockhead Baldelli.

The Twins braintrust chose not to bring back Donkey, instead extending a 10 million dollar option to Maximilian Kepler, a left-handed Eurotrash wonderboy right fielder who does nothing but hit home runs and strike out. Hmm, who does that sound like? Maximilian contributed a massive 8 home runs to the cause before going down with a season ending injury late in the year. Who knows, maybe he and Donkey will be teammates on the Hokkaido-Nippon Ham Fighters next year.

The Twins are desperately trying to stay in the wild card hunt, entering tonight trailing the Kansas City Royals and Detroit Tigers by one game for the final spot. After losing to the Florida Fish and seeing the Tigers win a matinee this afternoon, the Twins needed a Royals loss to buoy their flagging hopes.

And who should the Royals be playing but the Washington Gnats?

The stage was set. Down 1-0 in the bottom of the 10th with two outs and the Manfred Man on third, King Donkey strode to the plate to pinch hit. Things looked bleak for a moment as he worked a 3-1 count, but he dug deep and struck out swinging to send a message that might even penetrate Rockhead's granite skull:

Don't. Mess. With. Donkey.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Manager Dave smartly inserted Donkey into the 5th spot in the lineup today, and Donkey rewarded him by going 0 for 4 with 2 strikeouts.

He is now only 2 away from 100 with 4 games to go.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
HE HAS DONE IT, WITH STYLE!!!

Donkey adds three big Ks swinging to help the Gnats get swept by the Royals, pushing Rockhead and the Twins to the brink of playoff elimination.

And more importantly, reaching 101 Ks for the season!!!
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
redline248
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
It's been an incredible journey for him this season.
Corporal Punishment
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
101 K's in a mere 74 games. How can we find out if this is the fewest games played while racking up triple digits in strikeouts in MLB history. It ***HAS*** to be a record, right? I feel like I'm about to fall down a Rob Deer / Kevin Maas / Dave Hostetler rabbit hole trying to find out.
The Porkchop Express
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Fun fact: Every team Joey Gallo plays for makes the World Series two years later.


Last played for the Rangers in 2021, Rangers make WS in 2023
Last played for the Dodgers in 2022, Dodgers made the WS in 2024
Last played for the Yankees in 2022, Dodgers made the WS in 2024

I'd like to be the first to congratulate the 2025 AL Champion Minnesota Twins.

Will the Nationals let Joey go to free agency this winter and guarantee themselves the 2026 NL Pennant? Or will they hold on to the offensive dynamo who produced 1.34 strikeouts per game?

 
×
subscribe Verify your student status
See Subscription Benefits
Trial only available to users who have never subscribed or participated in a previous trial.