he's the hero we deserve

A friend of mine came across this establishment on his vacation. Maybe a new mascot for these threads

Dammit, team, I think that it is time that we all admit reality.

Donkey is in a slump.

He accidentally reached base in three straight appearances today.

Although he threw us a K swinging in the seventh, it is apparent that the Gnats manager (what's his name again???) is in his head.

Fire him!!! NOW!!!!

Unfortunately, Maeda only lasted four innings. The Tigers confounded Donkey by having a reliever throw him an 85 mph hanging slider. Joey did his best to miss, but unfortunately lined it into right center for a single.

He was overheard telling the first base coach, "That bendy pitch didn't bend. Do we get to play in Yankee Stadium soon? I always do good there."

What is the correlation of the donkey vs. Astros or other teams success?

Could the donkey be paid off to perform not to his standard in hopes that his bad luck misses that team?

For example, the dodgers paying him off so bad juju doesn't go to them as a tan but instead to him? Causing him to hit instead of striking out?

~egon

Dr. Doctor said:

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Could the donkey be paid off to perform not to his standard in hopes that his bad luck misses that team?

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Donkey is a man of honor. He would never sully his good name, nor that of the noble strikeout.

Unfortunately, he has been replaced in this game by Joey "Menses" Meneses.

1 for 3 with a run scored an a whiff tonight. That's how you do it on Survivor. Just enough to get back in the lineup tomorrow and a win to boot. Suddenly somebody has their OPS over 600. Up to 71 strikeouts now in 140 at-bats. That's right, he's still above a 50% whiff rate. That season pace would be 174 strikeouts in 344 at-bats. Utterly phenomenal.

The top of the leaderboard is currently a 2-man race of teammates - Elly de la Cruz with89, Will Benson with 86. It's like Maris-Mantle Part II, but this time, it's personal. Joey is back into the top 20, tied for 18th. Every guy ahead of him has played in at least 10 more games and has at least 44 more at-bats.

If I could get a healthy Donkey on a bad team for an entire year, his swings and misses could generate enough force to power the sun.

Joey's strikeout yesterday let him do something that is becoming pretty routine: Passing Hall of Famers with ease. Last night it was Ryne Sandberg going down like a wet noodle as Joey picked up # 1,261. It took Ryne Sandberg 9,282 to get to 1,260 strikeouts. Joey needed barely a third of that - 3,308.
Sandberg only had one 100-strikeout season, that being in 1984 when he had 101. he was also NL VP that year, with 114 runs scored, 200 hits, 36 2B, 19 triples, 19 HR, 84 RBi, 32 steals and a .314 average.

That's not a typo. homeboy had 19 triples in a year. By comparison, Joey has accrued triples in his first 909 games a pro. Some guys just have different priorities.

Donkey is back on the IL.

He pulled a hamstring. Probably during, uh, activities with that wanton hussy.

YokelRidesAgain said:

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Donkey is back on the IL.

He pulled a hamstring. Probably during, uh, activities with that wanton hussy.

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He can have mine, I'm not really using them for anything

The devastation continues:

Manager Dave Martinez said Friday that Gallo's MRI revealed a "significant hamstring strain," Bobby Blanco of MASNSports.com reports.

Martinez didn't give a return timeline for Gallo, simply saying that the 30-year-old will be out for "a while." Joey Meneses has been acting as Washington's primary first baseman since Gallo landed on the injured list Wednesday, but it's possible the Nationals decide to add someone from their farm system or outside the organization to help split the workload.

As Mean Joe Greene once said, when the best don't face the best, everyone get's cheated.

The light is a little dimmer these days in the Donkeyverse.

But we still have a strikeout chase going on.

Elly de la Cruz and Will Benson of the Reds continue to run 1-2 with 95 and 91 respectively. Three more guys have topped 90 - Teoscar Hernandez, Kyle Schwarber, and whoever Nolan Gorman is.

Apparently Gorman is your standard 6 foot 1 inch 22 pound second baseman for the Cardinals. He is hitting .205 and is on pace for 34 HR, 75 RBI, and 205 strikeouts. De La Cruz is on pace for 214 strikeouts, 9 short of the all-time record. He has played every game this year.

Some Donkey classics in this time of a world without a Donkey



8 year old Joey telling 9 year old Bryce Harper that "we'll see" who has a better MLB career



Kid Adorable

Quote:

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He's already got the thousand yard stare that he would later put to good use as the Bleacher Creatures at Yankee Stadium exhorted him to, "GO **** YOUR ******* ******** MOTHER, YOU WORTHLESS ***********, ************* SON OF A CHEAP TRICK IN A BATHROOM ON THE NEW JERSEY TURNPIKE!"

Cute!

In an ominous sign for Donkey, the Nationals released Eddie Rosario outright, because apparently batting .183/.226/.329 with 54 strikeouts is not good enough for Manager Whozit.

For comparison, Our Joey is hitting .164/.285/.321 with 71 strikeouts.

Hopefully he can stay safe and warm on the IL until some more Gnats hurt themselves, to give him some breathing room on the roster. It's clear that this team has no appreciation of the importance of the strikeout position.

Joey entered the game in the 9th as a pinch hitter for something called "Juan Yepez", which I am pretty sure is a made up name.

He worked a 1-2 count but ended up walking.

What a thing of beauty!

After struggling in his first at bat, accidentally hitting an RBI double when a diving right fielder failed to catch the ball, Donkey rebounded with a classic K swinging to lead off the 4th.

That is number 1,262 in his illustrious career.

Tough day for the Donk.

1 for 3 with a walk, run scored, and no strikeouts.

Taking down the big red machine is practically patriotic of our hero.

With Kyle Tucker's mystery injury persisting and the Astros so desperate they are giving Jason Heyward a try out, when are they going to ping the Nationals for a waiver-deal and finally bring the greatest living legend back to Texas?

After his idiot manager (whose name I do not know, and how is he not fired yet?) did not allow King Donkey to bat against lefty "Nasty" Nestor Cortez yesterday, our hero is back in his customary second cleanup slot tonight, facing Gerrit Cole.

Looks like a tasty battle. Donkey is over the Mendoza line against Cole, going 5 for 24 with 4 homers, 3 walks, and 17 awesome strikeouts!

Unfortunately, tonight's game is being held at Gnats Park instead of Joey's own personal wonderland, Yankee Stadium. Nonetheless, anything less than 2 strikeouts will be a disappointment.

Nervy moment for Donkey as he fought off a sacrifice fly opportunity (the last one sidelined him for two months; they said it was a hamstring but we all know it was his psyche).

He couldn't manage the strikeout, but pulled through with an RBI groundout to 2nd.

Yankees keep throwing left handed starters to keep Joey from his revenge. Bastages.