Mariners 5-0 vs. Houston
***** Official Houston Astros 2026 Season Thread *****
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Last: 3 min ago by txags11
The offense
We're toast.
Wife is going to own the tv this summer.
Not even making it to the dog days of summer is brutal. What the hell do we have to look forward to now?
Fantasy
Teams that are actually not icepick lobotomies to watch like the young White Sox
The draft
The inevitable Mariner and Yankee late-season heartbreak.
A lockout. At least I would pray for one if Crane still won't admit he installed a couple of bums at GM and manager.
Teams that are actually not icepick lobotomies to watch like the young White Sox
The draft
The inevitable Mariner and Yankee late-season heartbreak.
A lockout. At least I would pray for one if Crane still won't admit he installed a couple of bums at GM and manager.
10 run curse is so back…
It's shocking how fast this turned. The injuries exposed the lack of depth in a way nothing else could have.
Hate to say it but this is headed to 100 losses. And there isn't anything to stop it.
Whoever comes on as GM next has a huge job ahead.
Hate to say it but this is headed to 100 losses. And there isn't anything to stop it.
Whoever comes on as GM next has a huge job ahead.
Good thing our $12 million a pitcher Japanese import is going to right the ship tomorrow!
I can't even work up the energy for a good "this team is dog ****" rant.
This team is toast. Crane doesn't care, Dana doesn't care, Espada doesn't care, players don't care, and fans definitely don't care anymore. Looks like less than 10k fans tonight. Crane has lost the desire to win and needs to sell the team. Everyone else is going through the motions. As great as Yordan is, he also looks like he's just going through the motions now. He can sleep walk his way to 35 bombs if healthy, but we won't get his best on this team. Need to trade him for a greater haul than Soto (at least that's what's being reported).
agdaddy04 said:
Not even making it to the dog days of summer is brutal. What the hell do we have to look forward to now?
Nah... they will go on a 20 game win streak in June and fool Crane to think they have a playoff chance and should be buyers at the trade deadline,
Joe reminding me of Jimbo in post-game and can't even let Rome finish a question before answering. Pretty sure he said something about the pitching "turning a corner".
I'm not sure Zach Cole, Cam Smith, Brice Matthews, Braden Shewmake, and Lance McCullers could win two in a row, much less 20.
and Yordan was going to cool off at some point
not going to have 20 x-base hits every month (like he did in April)
not going to have 20 x-base hits every month (like he did in April)
Beau Holder said:
I'm not sure Zach Cole, Cam Smith, Brice Matthews, Braden Shewmake, and Lance McCullers could win two in a row, much less 20.
Don't lump Shewmake in with the other scrubs. He's one of the only RBI producers in the last week.
The offense is putrid. Espada is one of the most passive managers I've ever seen - no bunts, no hit and runs, no sending runners to avoid potential double plays, nothing.
And then he pinch hits Dezenzo for Vasquez who had already had a hit. Was it because it was Zach's birthday? What a joke.
This team plays listless and thats on the manager.
And then he pinch hits Dezenzo for Vasquez who had already had a hit. Was it because it was Zach's birthday? What a joke.
This team plays listless and thats on the manager.
They showed Yordan in the dugout just hanging over the rail, looking like he really didn't want to be there in the 9th before he came to bat.
This team is the walking dead.
This team is the walking dead.
This team sucks and our farm system is nearly in shambles. I heard something yesterday like the starting lineup in Sugarland this weekend did not include 1 player below the age of 25. We need an infusion of young talent in a major way.
Wabs said:
This team sucks and our farm system is nearly in shambles. I heard something yesterday like the starting lineup in Sugarland this weekend did not include 1 player below the age of 25. We need an infusion of young talent in a major way.
There are a few prospects in the Dodgers system that would be awesome to have. And they have shown no reservations in trading away top prospects for current big league talent. They also always seem to have prospects that shine when they come up.
If I was the GM, I would see what they wanted at the deadline
tjack16 said:Wabs said:
This team sucks and our farm system is nearly in shambles. I heard something yesterday like the starting lineup in Sugarland this weekend did not include 1 player below the age of 25. We need an infusion of young talent in a major way.
There are a few prospects in the Dodgers system that would be awesome to have. And they have shown no reservations in trading away top prospects for current big league talent. They also always seem to have prospects that shine when they come up.
If I was the GM, I would see what they wanted at the deadline
Yup…give me Rushing, DePaula, Tibbs, Ryan, and Wrobleski for Yordan and Yainer and call it a day.
linkdude said:
Back to back seven inning outings, Mr. Lambert
About time to announce he's going on the IL with elbow soreness...
Booma94 said:linkdude said:
Back to back seven inning outings, Mr. Lambert
About time to announce he's going on the IL with elbow soreness...
Not until after we give him a 6/$60 extension.
I think at this point it's prudent to talk about the real victim in the Astros' recent struggles:
None of us are getting nearly as many blue stars on our posts as we used to.
During the playoffs in recent years, you could get just write something like "YOR-DONG" or "Altuve is the Goat", and boom 30 blue stars in the next 5 minutes.
Now my incredibly witty, albeit oft-repetitive posts are lucky to get 2-3 on a game thread, probably because there are only 2-3 people still enjoying the combo of Astros baseball and TexAgging at the same time.
The guy who posts the picture of the Astro Star girl with the great ass? He's only got to do that 16 times this year out of 42 possible opportunities. And I star the hell out of that thing every time.
And the dancing Astro blonde girl. Is anyone thinking about her feelings?
Personally the hardest thing for me is having Joey Baseball hurt. I made my Madonna/Evita/Loperfido meme personally and even if we sucked all year, i was going to post that thing when Joey made good until my mouse clicker finger fell off. But no, this is why we can't have nice things.
None of us are getting nearly as many blue stars on our posts as we used to.
During the playoffs in recent years, you could get just write something like "YOR-DONG" or "Altuve is the Goat", and boom 30 blue stars in the next 5 minutes.
Now my incredibly witty, albeit oft-repetitive posts are lucky to get 2-3 on a game thread, probably because there are only 2-3 people still enjoying the combo of Astros baseball and TexAgging at the same time.
The guy who posts the picture of the Astro Star girl with the great ass? He's only got to do that 16 times this year out of 42 possible opportunities. And I star the hell out of that thing every time.
And the dancing Astro blonde girl. Is anyone thinking about her feelings?
Personally the hardest thing for me is having Joey Baseball hurt. I made my Madonna/Evita/Loperfido meme personally and even if we sucked all year, i was going to post that thing when Joey made good until my mouse clicker finger fell off. But no, this is why we can't have nice things.
Yes they do but they don't have any obvious needs either. If they have a pitching injury or two then HB makes a lot of sense. Who knows if Crane can stomach it. I'm kind of an a-hole so I say the league screwed us and made the Dodgers what they are so why not give the middle finger to all the other teams and Manfred by letting them win the next two WS while we retool a bit. They got what they wanted, let's see if they get what they want.tjack16 said:Wabs said:
This team sucks and our farm system is nearly in shambles. I heard something yesterday like the starting lineup in Sugarland this weekend did not include 1 player below the age of 25. We need an infusion of young talent in a major way.
There are a few prospects in the Dodgers system that would be awesome to have. And they have shown no reservations in trading away top prospects for current big league talent. They also always seem to have prospects that shine when they come up.
If I was the GM, I would see what they wanted at the deadline
Booma94 said:linkdude said:
Back to back seven inning outings, Mr. Lambert
About time to announce he's going on the IL with elbow soreness...
Shoulder strain is the en vogue injury this year.
I'm really hoping we get a new wave of fans when we start rebuilding. Like actual baseball fans who love Houston. The game time atmosphere at Minute Maid, now Daikin, is terrible. It's limp dick energy, all the time. Zero variations of the organ playing, there are so many tunes! Zero team chants, no awareness of when to get loud at critical moments. Instead, on critical moments you got drunk dudes trying to start the ****ing wave. Been like forever even in the middle of this run of success. We need an atmosphere at Daikin Park
Booma94 said:linkdude said:
Back to back seven inning outings, Mr. Lambert
About time to announce he's going on the IL with elbow soreness...
I'd quit too, with that total ****show for run support.
Going to have to lower ticket prices to help this shift.
Germans/moon probably at this point but this guy was a wasted pick:
https://www.colts.com/news/bryce-boettcher-linebacker-oregon-baseball
https://www.colts.com/news/bryce-boettcher-linebacker-oregon-baseball
texpert68 said:
Going to have to lower ticket prices to help this shift.
texpert68 said:
Going to have to lower ticket prices to help this shift.
You really feel for the businesses around the park; not that it was always going to be the days of wine and roses, but I bet their profit margin drop will be horrifying if the team goes 62-100 this year. I'd be fascinated to know what those places rake in during some of the extensive playoff runs.
superaggie73 said:Booma94 said:linkdude said:
Back to back seven inning outings, Mr. Lambert
About time to announce he's going on the IL with elbow soreness...
Not until after we give him a 6/$60 extension.
Nah, we love the 3/$60MM too much
Chef Elko said:superaggie73 said:Booma94 said:linkdude said:
Back to back seven inning outings, Mr. Lambert
About time to announce he's going on the IL with elbow soreness...
Not until after we give him a 6/$60 extension.
Nah, we love the 3/$60MM too much
$20M a year for an aging veteran or unproven pitcher? YESSIR
$15-20M a year to lock up a young star that can help build the future? Nah too expensive
Astros Bingo Update 5-12-2026
Regular Updates:
Reason to Smile:
Dodgers fall out of first in the NL West, on pace to win 95 games
Kyle Tucker down to a 79-RBI pace
Imai has a chance to get the Doom & Gloom grand prize up to $4 if he can get a win tonight.
The ERA is down to a miniscule 5.50
Reasons to Barf:
I've added a new category, "It's a Steal!" seeing if the entire team can compile more steals than the MLB individual leader this year. Currently the count is Nasim Nunez 17, Astros 16
And now, the newest sensation, sweeping the nation.
Better Know a Poster
Day 2 spotlight: JoeAggie1010
Current Bingo Score: 1
Place: Tied for 4th with 50 other people
Squares Achieved: Rangers suck and that's it.
Predicted Astros record: 87-75. Just need to finish the year 71-49 (.592)
Squares that look like future wins:
Colorado > 52 W current pace 63
Texas < 80 W current pace 75
Verlander < 8 W current pace 0
> 700 Runs scored current pace 760
Framber <13 W current pace 8
Squares that are technically still humanly possible:
Tucker <130 games played current pace 158
Imai <3.50 ERA he just needs 11 straight shutout innings and he'll be there
Altuve <85 runs scored current pace 93
Pena > 20 steals I mean he's already got 1, there's no stopping him now
Jake > .280 - stuck at .243
Squares that haven't aged so well:
Pena All-Star Game
Hunter All-Star Game
Hader >90 K
Regular Updates:
Reason to Smile:
Dodgers fall out of first in the NL West, on pace to win 95 games
Kyle Tucker down to a 79-RBI pace
Imai has a chance to get the Doom & Gloom grand prize up to $4 if he can get a win tonight.
The ERA is down to a miniscule 5.50
Reasons to Barf:
I've added a new category, "It's a Steal!" seeing if the entire team can compile more steals than the MLB individual leader this year. Currently the count is Nasim Nunez 17, Astros 16
And now, the newest sensation, sweeping the nation.
Better Know a Poster
Day 2 spotlight: JoeAggie1010
Current Bingo Score: 1
Place: Tied for 4th with 50 other people
Squares Achieved: Rangers suck and that's it.
Predicted Astros record: 87-75. Just need to finish the year 71-49 (.592)
Squares that look like future wins:
Colorado > 52 W current pace 63
Texas < 80 W current pace 75
Verlander < 8 W current pace 0
> 700 Runs scored current pace 760
Framber <13 W current pace 8
Squares that are technically still humanly possible:
Tucker <130 games played current pace 158
Imai <3.50 ERA he just needs 11 straight shutout innings and he'll be there
Altuve <85 runs scored current pace 93
Pena > 20 steals I mean he's already got 1, there's no stopping him now
Jake > .280 - stuck at .243
Squares that haven't aged so well:
Pena All-Star Game
Hunter All-Star Game
Hader >90 K
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