Stuff Ruined by Parents and In-Laws

21,074 Views | 136 Replies | Last: 3 yr ago by AJ02
Out in Left Field
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AG
So what in your kitchen has been destroyed?

My dad thought it would be a good idea to use my Pyrex baking dish on the stove and it shattered full of food and almost burned down the house.

Your stories to share?
MarathonAg12
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Nothing out of left field but, my dad ruined a coffee mug.
FIDO*98*
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I made some Prime NY Strips and Gruyere Souffle twice baked potatoes for my in-laws a long time ago. My father in law proceeded to cut a piece of steak and use it as a scoop for the potatoes every single bite. I haven't made steak for them since
Max Power
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AG
They haven't ruined anything I've made for them but my BIL's cooking philosophy seems to be keep it on the grill until you can't tell what animal it came from. Doesn't matter if it's steak, pork chops, chicken, burgers, etc. That's not hyperbole, we've been there on more than one occasion when he's made beef and pork and we legitimately couldn't tell one from the other. He's the kind of guy that requests ketchup with well done steak. He also drinks a lot of low quality flavored beers, flavored whiskey as well. I'm not sure why he decided to get a barbed wire tattoo when he was younger, he's a skinny type 1 diabetic that I've never seen or heard of doing exercise or lifting a weight in his life. He makes a lot of questionable decisions, not just food and beverage related.
agcrock2005
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My peace of mind is destroyed every time my MIL is in my kitchen...
MarathonAg12
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agcrock2005 said:

My peace of mind is destroyed every time my MIL is in my kitchen...
*house
Milwaukees Best Light
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My sharp knives. Got some cheapies for them to use, but I can't keep their hands off the nice ones.
NColoradoAG
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My in laws haven't really messed anything up, they're just really simple eaters and don't get out of a routine at all.

My first Thanksgiving with them I sat down and there was only breast meat at the table. Leaned over and asked my girlfriend (now wife) where the dark meat was. She told me they never eat it. For the entire duration of my wife's childhood they had been roasting a whole turkey, only eating white meat, and throwing the whole carcass away. You would have thought i was an invading barbarian when I brought back that turkey quarter.

Needless to say every year I'm at home for Thanksgiving (go to Texas in even years) I cook the turkey now.
DiskoTroop
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FIDO*98* said:

I made some Prime NY Strips and Gruyere Souffle twice baked potatoes for my in-laws a long time ago. My father in law proceeded to cut a piece of steak and use it as a scoop for the potatoes every single bite. I haven't made steak for them since
jetch17
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AG
I was gonna say doing it while on vacation … now we just do anyway and I look right at my FIL the next morning while having coffee and nod my head
TikiBarrel
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Who needs parents or in laws ruining the kitchen when my own damn wife can't load the dishwasher right!
bmc13
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Quote:

You would have thought i was an invading barbarian when I brought back that turkey quarter.
htxag09
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Milwaukees Best Light said:

My sharp knives. Got some cheapies for them to use, but I can't keep their hands off the nice ones.

Is it a rule that that generation has to put their knives in the dishwasher? I don't understand it. And when we have family over, we cook, and they offer to do dishes I always decline. If they insist I come behind them and unload knives, all clad pots, etc from the dishwasher before running it
Cyprian
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My in laws love scratching our cookware like it is going out of style.
Max Power
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NColoradoAG said:

My in laws haven't really messed anything up, they're just really simple eaters and don't get out of a routine at all.

My first Thanksgiving with them I sat down and there was only breast meat at the table. Leaned over and asked my girlfriend (now wife) where the dark meat was. She told me they never eat it. For the entire duration of my wife's childhood they had been roasting a whole turkey, only eating white meat, and throwing the whole carcass away. You would have thought i was an invading barbarian when I brought back that turkey quarter.

Needless to say every year I'm at home for Thanksgiving (go to Texas in even years) I cook the turkey now.
Did they not know you can buy just a bone in turkey breast? At thanksgiving it's pretty much just my FIL and I eating the dark meat. We just sit back and let everyone pick the white meat away, leaving he good stuff for us.
Max Power
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SpiderDude said:

Who needs parents or in laws ruining the kitchen when my own damn wife can't load the dishwasher right!
I've been hoping someone on here was going to post about someone in their family putting a nicely seasoned cast iron pan in the dishwasher.
DiskoTroop
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This isn't so much that my brother-in-law ruined anything of mine specifically, but he did look like a complete ass once. Marrying into a family of Cajuns means this Texan is pretty well the only exposure to Mexican food they've ever had. Gringo tacos on the very rare occasion was about all they ever did. I've since gotten to where I can feed them, Mexican food on occasion and they don't ask "now what is this again?"

One summer, my sister-in-law, her husband and the kids came into town, and my niece actually requested quesadillas. I was excited, took her to the grocery store to buy all the stuff and we made quesadillas together. I told her how to make them and to this day she loves them and makes them for her and her brother. That night my brother-in-law kept telling me "don't worry about me, I'll make mine once everyone is fed."

He is very fit and nearly always on some kind of restrictive diet so I assumed that was the reason. I guessed he wanted to make his own with his desired amount of cheese, meat, etc. etc. Turns out no… He had heard some little bits of me teaching my niece how to do it and decided he wanted to try on his own. It should be said my brother-in-law can't microwave popcorn. He is absolutely useless in the kitchen. Also like the poster above, he thinks anything he puts on the grill should be charred to oblivion.

He proceeded to make the most ridiculous quesadilla anyone has ever seen. No cheese, double meat, no butter on the tortilla to brown it but rather lots and lots of vegetable oil, because he was watching his calories. WhenI tell you this pile of mush he took off of my griddle was utterly disgusting, I had no idea what was about to happen. He sat there and coon fingered this atrocity of a quesadilla for 10 minutes, dowsing it in hot sauce, and cramming it down his face. My wife, sister-in-law, and I sat there and watched him in amazement.

We still laugh about it and ask him to make us quesadillas.
80sGeorge
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AG
MIL swears to this day that all you need is one cutting board the size of an iPhone and Cutco knife about the size of steak knife. All those fancy German knives just get dull.
Morbo the Annihilator
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jetch17 said:

I was gonna say doing it while on vacation … now we just do anyway and I look right at my FIL the next morning while having coffee and nod my head

"A little government and a little luck are both necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them." - P.J. O'Rourke
aTm2004
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AG
Really can't say anything about my in-laws or parents. My dad is awesome on a smoker, so even when I think mine is good, it's still chasing him. My FIL on the grill is something else. He doesn't cook to temp but to time, so briskets are often tough and lack smoke ring while pork and chicken are often dry enough to soak up all of the gravy. My MIL's cooking is like grandma's, so zero complaints there. Even if she doesn't have exactly what she needs or what she's cooking, she can wing it. Growing up on a farm helped that, I guess.

The issue I have is with my SIL and her husband. When I smoke a brisket or cook something of size, we typically invite them over so our kids can play together. They're happy to come over and eat up the food (never ask "what can I bring") and then leave shortly after, but they never invite people to their house outside of when they need to for their kid's birthdays. Even then, it's only us and my MIL & FIL. They've never offered to host Thanksgiving or Christmas at their house, while we host Thanksgiving almost annually. I've told my wife I'm finished inviting them over outside of the needed times because of it, but it's he sister and she won't allow it. It's not a money issue because he's an engineer for an oil company.
JimmyHouston
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AG
Nothing like watching the MIL scramble eggs in the All Clad pans with a metal fork instead of the wooden spoons or spatulas sitting next to the stove...
NColoradoAG
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Max Power said:

NColoradoAG said:

My in laws haven't really messed anything up, they're just really simple eaters and don't get out of a routine at all.

My first Thanksgiving with them I sat down and there was only breast meat at the table. Leaned over and asked my girlfriend (now wife) where the dark meat was. She told me they never eat it. For the entire duration of my wife's childhood they had been roasting a whole turkey, only eating white meat, and throwing the whole carcass away. You would have thought i was an invading barbarian when I brought back that turkey quarter.

Needless to say every year I'm at home for Thanksgiving (go to Texas in even years) I cook the turkey now.
Did they not know you can buy just a bone in turkey breast? At thanksgiving it's pretty much just my FIL and I eating the dark meat. We just sit back and let everyone pick the white meat away, leaving he good stuff for us.

Trying to explain that to them, let alone how to cook it, would be akin to teaching them complex mathematics. My MIL is 65 years old and hadn't had a pulled pork sandwich until about 5 years ago when I cooked a pork butt for a birthday party.
Bigfootisreal
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Just a few from my mil.

Made homemade pizza once, and before we could eat she added so much salt and pepper you could not see the cheese! WTF? I guess my face gave away my concern, as she said "oh, maybe I should have tasted it first?"

This last year she requested a brisket- so I cooked one 18+ hours- beautiful bark, juicy, etc. She ate one piece (more for me) and slathered it with horseradish. I mean, like covered it so I am sure she could not taste any beef!

Also, my MIL's significant other likes well done steak. I cooked a bunch of steaks and had a thermo pen on the well done- it was at 185. MIL says- that's not done enough. After arguing and showing her the temp, I finally gave up! Proceeded to cook that strip steak another 20 minutes on high- everyone was done eating and that steak looked like a charcoal briquet! Not to worry, it was slathered with Heinz 57! Should have just made a friggin' burger!

Finally, she loves to cook "ribs" because one time she did this at her house and one of my kids liked them. Basically country style ribs that are steamed in water until they fall off the bone. Then she pours Sweet Baby Ray's on them and serves them up. The one time I served her real spare ribs properly smoked she wouldn't eat them because of the smoke ring- kept saying they weren't done cuz of the pink line!
Garrelli 5000
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Thanksgiving 2 years ago my in-laws came to town - it was the first full family gathering b/w my parents and wifes parents probably since we got married over 15 years ago.

We cook fantastic meal - Kenji's turkey porchetta, all sides homemade, etc. For desert we're doing bananas foster crepes.

I'm busting my ass getting everything perfect and we'll start handing out plates in about 5 minutes.

My MIL had picked up one of these desert breads at the grocery store. It tastes like bread lightly rubbed with sugar you buy in a box at the grocery store. I hear here hocking it to anyone who would listen to her. Of course my (love her) moron mom just dives right now. My MIL is sabatoging desert we're busting our asses to make by guilting the rest of the family into eathing this thick, dense, flavorless bread. Any appetite left from lunch was killed 5 minutes before our desert is served.



Wife flipped s*** on her, explaining how rude she was being, etc, etc. she didn't care. She couldn't stand not being the center of attention.

My cousin's ex-fiance did dishes one evenign after cousin and I had spent the day making birria tacos, smoking ribs, etc. My wife had to warn me the next morning before I opened the dishwasher that the ex-F had put my chef's knife in the dishwasher. It was a Misen - not high society by any means but not walmart quality either. I'd never been more happy to NOT have a bespoke chef's knife like a Bloodroot or even something like a Shun.

Lastly - my wife typically only uses a paring knife for any kitchen prep (until I got her the smal Misen chef's knife). In past 3 months i've twice pulled that pairing knife out of the dishwasher and said "stop it - don't do this - ever". WHo knows how often she's done it that I haven't caught her. She long ago ruined all of the wusthoff knives we got as wedding gifts. That was a primary reason for going w/Misen to replace - at least if she manages to ruin them it isn't as costly to replace.
Staff - take out the trash.
80sGeorge
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AG
Man this is the winner for me. So much anti carnivore fail. I would lose it.
htxag09
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AG
I feel like some of yall worry about some of this crap too much. I love hosting dinner parties and holidays at the house, and I especially love going all out for them.

But at the end of the day it's about everyone being together. If someone loves crap beer and wants everyone to try it with the tenderloin I made I'm not gonna lose sleep. They can drink my wine or the crap beer. Who cares.

I've also adjusted how and what we prepare for who. We ain't doing a 5 course wine paired dinner for either of our families. We'll reserve that for a few friends we have. Our families would prefer burgers or a casserole to a truffle risotto. And there isn't anything wrong with that.

But stand by my previous statement. They ain't putting my knives in my dishwasher. Lol.
justnobody79
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my ex-wife's parents were generally nice people but had virtually no cooking skills whatsoever. out of all the meals we had at their place over half of them were hot dogs. they even bought their own hot dog roller that could hold like 20 hot dogs at once. the other meals were either frozen pizza or those frozen lasagna dishes from the store.
ATM9000
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My daughter is just learning how to cook and made the family breakfast a couple weeks ago (I helped her a little with it). It was really good and thanked her and ran off to go do what I had going on that day in a rush. Got home around mid afternoon and the family was off doing what they were doing… one of the cast irons got a good dishwashing cycle in.
Chipotlemonger
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This thread is great.
ATM9000
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htxag09 said:

I feel like some of yall worry about some of this crap too much. I love hosting dinner parties and holidays at the house, and I especially love going all out for them.

But at the end of the day it's about everyone being together. If someone loves crap beer and wants everyone to try it with the tenderloin I made I'm not gonna lose sleep. They can drink my wine or the crap beer. Who cares.

I've also adjusted how and what we prepare for who. We ain't doing a 5 course wine paired dinner for either of our families. We'll reserve that for a few friends we have. Our families would prefer burgers or a casserole to a truffle risotto. And there isn't anything wrong with that.

But stand by my previous statement. They ain't putting my knives in my dishwasher. Lol.

I do agree with this. My mother in law was poor her whole life until she was like 50. Cheap well done steak, mass produced desserts and cheap alcohol are really what she knows. It used to bother me when she would pick around the rib roast or whatever I made for the whole family and just eat the dinner rolls and fruit or eat just the 'normal' cheeses and nuts from the cheese board. But… it's like all she knows.

So we've adjusted a bit what we serve when she's over and it is just fine. Or… we just won't tell her something about a dish sometimes. We know she has no allergies so if I make, for example, duck fat roasted potatoes, I'll just say 'roasted potatoes' because she will get all squirrely about duck fat because we know she's never eaten duck.

It's weird, but I've found sometimes… being a little less proud and boastful about all the stuff in dishes actually goes a long way in bringing a fickle eater's guard down.
htxag09
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AG
Well put and better said than me. But what I was trying to get across.
AustinCountyAg
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my in laws eat steaks well done. MIL or FIL wont touch it if they see pink. Wife never had a non well done steak before I came along. I remember when I took her to a nice steakhouse early in our dating and she asked where the A1 was. I quietly told her to STFU because normal people don't need that on a $60 steak from Pappas.
AggieOO
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My in-laws are fine. its my parents. Growing up, all steaks were at least medium, usually medium well, and served with steak sauce. salads always made with iceberg lettuce. My cast iron skillets are from my grandmother and my great grandmother, but i had to rescue them from my mom b/c she was going to use them as "decorations." A lot of what we ate was b/c we didn't exactly have a lot of money, but its also b/c my parents never branched out. They grew up in the midwest in farming families, so food was fairly limited. Its not like they grew up exposed to a lot of different food cultures. I didn't have chinese food until I was in college.

Now, when I cook or take my parents out to eat, my mom will make comments about how picky of an eater I was growing up and now I eat all these different things. I have to politely tell her that her food sucked, which is why I didn't like it. My parents will always opt for olive garden, cotton patch, and other ****ty chains if given any sort of choice. We will take them out and show them local restaurants with good italian food or the local alternative to a chain, but they always revert, even though they will comment on how much better the food is. They are just stuck in their ways. The only exception to this is mexican food. They will always hit local joints and never go to chains.

But as mentioned in a post above, if I "dumb down" the descriptions of food until after they have eaten, they will dive right in. That said, there are certain foods my mom will refuse...things like crawfish, calamari, octopus, any cut of meat that is slightly outside "standard" cuts. I could give her lengua tacos and she'd probably like them, but if she knew what they were, no chance.

I could go on an on, but i think this might slightly "off topic" from what this thread was originally intended.
aTm2004
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AG
Quote:

But as mentioned in a post above, if I "dumb down" the descriptions of food until after they have eaten, they will dive right in. That said, there are certain foods my mom will refuse...things like crawfish, calamari, octopus, any cut of meat that is slightly outside "standard" cuts. I could give her lengua tacos and she'd probably like them, but if she knew what they were, no chance.
You should make her some barbacoa and let her say how good it is before you tell her what cut of meat it is. That's what I've found works with my kids.
Urban Country Boy
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AG
I still don't know the brand of the bowl I ruined in the dishwasher but I know I paid for a bigger one.
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