Stuff Ruined by Parents and In-Laws

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AlaskanAg99
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9:15a, 3/23/23
AG
Must be a Midwest thing. My folks are from Ohio.

Growing up my dad would grill steaks with lots of "Vitamin C". C stands for Carbon as he'd burn the sht out of them. In fact. He would never say he was going yo grill steaks but "I'm about to burn the steaks!"

The other memorable moment was back in the mid 90s he was making gumbo and he mistook tablespoons for teaspoons and we had a very old bottle of Tabasco where instead of being red it was dark brown. No one could eat the meal as it was insanely overly spiced.

In his defense he has become a better cook over the decades. Instant read thermomets and remote grilling probes have definitely paid their weight 100x over in edible ribeyes.
aTm '99
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Cromagnum
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In reply to bmc13 • 10:00a, 3/23/23
AG
bmc13 said:
Quote:
You would have thought i was an invading barbarian when I brought back that turkey quarter.


That **** right there is funny as hell.
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Cromagnum
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10:05a, 3/23/23
AG
One year we were hosting Christmas and we cooked a huge prime rib with all kinds of sides. My mom, who had never had prime rib before, brings over a giant platter of turkey and dressing, which nobody touched. Then I got to hear her ***** about how nobody wanted her food (even though as it turns out she now loves prime rib). So nothing ruined really, but some bruised ego for a while.
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MyNameIsJeff
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10:49a, 3/23/23
AG
I consider myself a good cook but have never been warned about the damage a dishwasher can cause to a knife edge. Handles, of course, but not the edge itself. That said, my main kitchen knives are a set of santokus a previous room mate left in our house in college over 10 years ago.

No crazy stories here, just the MIL who grew up kinda poor and has a very plain cooking style and the BIL that gets too drunk trying to smoke a brisket to where I have to finish it in the oven to have dinner before midnight.
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AggieOO
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In reply to MyNameIsJeff • 11:14a, 3/23/23
Quote:
BIL that gets too drunk trying to smoke a brisket
i thought that was half the point of smoking a brisket.
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schmellba99
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In reply to B-1 83 • 12:11p, 3/23/23
AG
B-1 83 said:
If my dishwasher has total separation for my knives from everything else, can they be put in the dishwasher?
Sure, you can do whatever you want. They will dull a lot faster that way though, but if honing a new edge isn't a big deal for you then neither is tossing them in the dishwasher.

I haven't had an issue with the handles discoloring on mine, and they are a white plastic of some sort. I'm also not a knife snob as my Cutco's that were my grandfathers do everything I need them to without fail, and do it well. I hit them with a ceramic rod between uses, once a year I might hit them with a stone and don't toss them in the dishwasher. Seems to work for me just fine.
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schmellba99
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In reply to AlaskanAg99 • 12:13p, 3/23/23
AG
Must be a midwest thing. A buddy of mine married a good Iowa farm girl and he said they have absolutely no concept of seasoning (or cooking really) when he goes up there with her to visit. Like take the steak right out of the package from the store and toss it on the grill and overcook it no concept of cooking. No seasoning, and lots of A-1 or some other steak sauce after the fact.
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combat wombat™
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12:40p, 3/23/23
AG
My mom is a good cook. But she pays no attention to getting food all done to serve hot, at the same time. Sides will be done a solid hour before the meat is done and carved. By the time we are ready to eat a lot of the food is ice cold. Over the years I have tried to monitor when she puts stuff in the oven to help mitigate this.

Part of the problem is that she has ONE oven but for some reason, she feels the need to serve 2-3 meats (pork, beef, and turkey). And then she serves 3-4 sides and bread. It's just too much to juggle and keep it all hot.

She did a kitchen remodel recently. They put in the wrong oven at first. They replaced it but left the old one in her garage and never picked it up (despite her numerous calls). I finally convinced her to have an electrician put in an outlet and use that oven, Now we use it to keep stuff warm until it is served. It helps to have more oven space. But I still have to gently manage her "scheduling".
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Ornithopter
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In reply to schmellba99 • 1:11p, 3/23/23
AG
The Midwest generally believes in the existence of only two spices: salt and pepper. Anything else is considered too spicy, and you have to be careful getting too liberal with the pepper.
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NColoradoAG
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In reply to Ornithopter • 1:59p, 3/23/23
DubFalls said:
The Midwest generally believes in the existence of only two spices: salt and pepper. Anything else is considered too spicy, and you have to be careful getting too liberal with the pepper.

In my experience the Midwest also considers mayonnaise to be a spice
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aTm2004
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In reply to Ornithopter • 2:11p, 3/23/23
AG
100% agree. My wife's whole family is from Iowa and they consider Mexican food spicy. Well, not her or her sister who have lived in Texas for 25 years of their life. My wife will eat jalapenos like I do pickles.
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Max Power
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4:35p, 3/23/23
AG
As a midwestern resident I can confirm the absence of spice is common here. My wife's family is anti-spice to the point it got in my daughter's head. I've been able to convert her with Mexican food and Cajun food, she'll put hot sauce on plenty of other food as well now. My MIL is one of those people who just assumes she won't like things without even trying them. It was nice when my wife informed her the pasta sauce she was enjoying had a good amount of red pepper, something she never would have eaten had she been told beforehand had she known there was red pepper in it.
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Ornithopter
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In reply to NColoradoAG • 8:41p, 3/23/23
AG
It's funny because it's true.
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Buzzy
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In reply to Max Power • 9:38p, 3/23/23
Max Power said:
They haven't ruined anything I've made for them but my BIL's cooking philosophy seems to be keep it on the grill until you can't tell what animal it came from. Doesn't matter if it's steak, pork chops, chicken, burgers, etc. That's not hyperbole, we've been there on more than one occasion when he's made beef and pork and we legitimately couldn't tell one from the other. He's the kind of guy that requests ketchup with well done steak. He also drinks a lot of low quality flavored beers, flavored whiskey as well. I'm not sure why he decided to get a barbed wire tattoo when he was younger, he's a skinny type 1 diabetic that I've never seen or heard of doing exercise or lifting a weight in his life. He makes a lot of questionable decisions, not just food and beverage related.
The former serves as a visible warning and testament to the latter.
Wild West Pimp Style
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Texker
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In reply to NColoradoAG • 1:42a, 3/24/23
AG
NColoradoAG said:
DubFalls said:
The Midwest generally believes in the existence of only two spices: salt and pepper. Anything else is considered too spicy, and you have to be careful getting too liberal with the pepper.

In my experience the Midwest also considers mayonnaise to be a spice
You haven't lived unless you've been in the Midwest and been offered chopped Snickers slathered in room temperature mayonnaise as part of the salad bar at a funeral, graduation, etc.
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AggieOO
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In reply to Texker • 8:36a, 3/24/23
Texker said:
NColoradoAG said:
DubFalls said:
The Midwest generally believes in the existence of only two spices: salt and pepper. Anything else is considered too spicy, and you have to be careful getting too liberal with the pepper.

In my experience the Midwest also considers mayonnaise to be a spice
You haven't lived unless you've been in the Midwest and been offered chopped Snickers slathered in room temperature mayonnaise as part of the salad bar at a funeral, graduation, etc.
my entire family (both sides) is from the midwest. never heard of this.
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DiskoTroop
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In reply to Texker • 8:51a, 3/24/23
Texker said:
NColoradoAG said:
DubFalls said:
The Midwest generally believes in the existence of only two spices: salt and pepper. Anything else is considered too spicy, and you have to be careful getting too liberal with the pepper.

In my experience the Midwest also considers mayonnaise to be a spice
You haven't lived unless you've been in the Midwest and been offered chopped Snickers slathered in room temperature mayonnaise as part of the salad bar at a funeral, graduation, etc.


Literally turned my stomach. Not sure if elaborating for comic value or not which makes it real enough for me.
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aTm2004
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In reply to Texker • 8:54a, 3/24/23
AG
Texker said:
NColoradoAG said:
DubFalls said:
The Midwest generally believes in the existence of only two spices: salt and pepper. Anything else is considered too spicy, and you have to be careful getting too liberal with the pepper.

In my experience the Midwest also considers mayonnaise to be a spice
You haven't lived unless you've been in the Midwest and been offered chopped Snickers slathered in room temperature mayonnaise as part of the salad bar at a funeral, graduation, etc.
Never heard of that.

One thing my wife's Midwest family introduced me to that I absolutely love is peanut butter melted into syrup for pancakes. And ham balls. Love me some ham balls. Other than that...bleh!
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superunknown
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In reply to schmellba99 • 9:17a, 3/24/23
AG
schmellba99 said:
Must be a midwest thing. A buddy of mine married a good Iowa farm girl and he said they have absolutely no concept of seasoning (or cooking really) when he goes up there with her to visit. Like take the steak right out of the package from the store and toss it on the grill and overcook it no concept of cooking. No seasoning, and lots of A-1 or some other steak sauce after the fact.


My brother lives in Iowa. He's said similar things. For a while I was shipping him Uncle Chris' seasoning from Bolners/Fiesta and he was blowing minds up there.
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Bruce Almighty
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In reply to AggieOO • 9:59a, 3/24/23
AG
AggieOO said:
Texker said:
NColoradoAG said:
DubFalls said:
The Midwest generally believes in the existence of only two spices: salt and pepper. Anything else is considered too spicy, and you have to be careful getting too liberal with the pepper.

In my experience the Midwest also considers mayonnaise to be a spice
You haven't lived unless you've been in the Midwest and been offered chopped Snickers slathered in room temperature mayonnaise as part of the salad bar at a funeral, graduation, etc.
my entire family (both sides) is from the midwest. never heard of this.
I live in the midwest and have never heard of this.
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Bigfootisreal
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In reply to Bruce Almighty • 10:21a, 3/24/23
Bruce Almighty said:
AggieOO said:
Texker said:
NColoradoAG said:
DubFalls said:
The Midwest generally believes in the existence of only two spices: salt and pepper. Anything else is considered too spicy, and you have to be careful getting too liberal with the pepper.

In my experience the Midwest also considers mayonnaise to be a spice
You haven't lived unless you've been in the Midwest and been offered chopped Snickers slathered in room temperature mayonnaise as part of the salad bar at a funeral, graduation, etc.
my entire family (both sides) is from the midwest. never heard of this.
I live in the midwest and have never heard of this.
Same here. Although my in-laws "salad" always had cool whip and marshmallows in it! That was a shock the first get together as my family is mostly diabetic, so no sugar! Still won't eat it!
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AggieOO
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In reply to Bigfootisreal • 11:02a, 3/24/23
Bigfootisreal said:
Bruce Almighty said:
AggieOO said:
Texker said:
NColoradoAG said:
DubFalls said:
The Midwest generally believes in the existence of only two spices: salt and pepper. Anything else is considered too spicy, and you have to be careful getting too liberal with the pepper.

In my experience the Midwest also considers mayonnaise to be a spice
You haven't lived unless you've been in the Midwest and been offered chopped Snickers slathered in room temperature mayonnaise as part of the salad bar at a funeral, graduation, etc.
my entire family (both sides) is from the midwest. never heard of this.
I live in the midwest and have never heard of this.
Same here. Although my in-laws "salad" always had cool whip and marshmallows in it! That was a shock the first get together as my family is mostly diabetic, so no sugar! Still won't eat it!
now, that one was pretty common at pot lucks in Missouri and Kansas when i was a kid.
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Sea Pony 07
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11:20a, 3/24/23
AG
Snickers salad where my family in Nebraska is from consists of snickers, apples, cool whip, marshmallows and either walnuts or pecans.
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tlepoC
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11:56a, 3/24/23
AG
Snickers salad is mind blowing to me. Are all these people morbidly obese?
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NColoradoAG
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In reply to tlepoC • 12:03p, 3/24/23
tlepoC said:
Snickers salad is mind blowing to me. Are all these people morbidly obese?

There's fat people everywhere. It's not a Midwest thing.
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Bruce Almighty
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In reply to tlepoC • 12:30p, 3/24/23
AG
tlepoC said:
Snickers salad is mind blowing to me. Are all these people morbidly obese?
It's probably better than having a deep fried Snickers at the Texas State Fair.
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Cromagnum
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12:48p, 3/24/23
AG
Damn, some of yall live where people have evolved without taste buds somehow.
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80sGeorge
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In reply to Sea Pony 07 • 12:54p, 3/24/23
AG
Sea Pony 07 said:
Snickers salad where my family in Nebraska is from consists of snickers, apples, cool whip, marshmallows and either walnuts or pecans.


Can't lie, I'd try it. Prob go back for seconds. Only confusing thing is don't Snickers already have peanuts and then you need to add more nuts?
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Buzzy
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In reply to Texker • 1:37p, 3/24/23
Texker said:
NColoradoAG said:
DubFalls said:
The Midwest generally believes in the existence of only two spices: salt and pepper. Anything else is considered too spicy, and you have to be careful getting too liberal with the pepper.

In my experience the Midwest also considers mayonnaise to be a spice
You haven't lived unless you've been in the Midwest and been offered chopped Snickers slathered in room temperature mayonnaise as part of the salad bar at a funeral, graduation, etc.
Sounds better than funeral potatoes, though.
Wild West Pimp Style
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ValleyRatAg
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2:25p, 3/24/23
AG
My 17 year old son will straight up ask a girl that he's interested in how she likes her steak if the answer is anywhere above medium rare he moves on. He told me he figures her parents must be commies.
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Sea Pony 07
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In reply to Buzzy • 2:45p, 3/24/23
AG
Buzzy said:
Texker said:
NColoradoAG said:
DubFalls said:
The Midwest generally believes in the existence of only two spices: salt and pepper. Anything else is considered too spicy, and you have to be careful getting too liberal with the pepper.

In my experience the Midwest also considers mayonnaise to be a spice
You haven't lived unless you've been in the Midwest and been offered chopped Snickers slathered in room temperature mayonnaise as part of the salad bar at a funeral, graduation, etc.
Sounds better than funeral potatoes, though.


Not gonna lie I like funeral potatos. Especially if you add green chilis.
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AggieOO
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In reply to Buzzy • 3:05p, 3/24/23
Buzzy said:
Texker said:
NColoradoAG said:
DubFalls said:
The Midwest generally believes in the existence of only two spices: salt and pepper. Anything else is considered too spicy, and you have to be careful getting too liberal with the pepper.

In my experience the Midwest also considers mayonnaise to be a spice
You haven't lived unless you've been in the Midwest and been offered chopped Snickers slathered in room temperature mayonnaise as part of the salad bar at a funeral, graduation, etc.
Sounds better than funeral potatoes, though.
i'd never heard of these either. looked it up. yikes.

that said, my wife's family makes cheesey potatoes, which are diced frozen potatoes, a ****load of mayo, and velveeta. mix and bake. They are good, but i can't watch anyone make them, b/c they are so disgusting.
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The Lost
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In reply to Max Power • 9:39p, 3/24/23
Max Power said:
My MIL is one of those people who just assumes she won't like things without even trying them.
This is our biggest issue, it's just hard to make anything other than burgers or lasagna. We did coax her into some really basic tai last trip so maybe there is hope.
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Chipotlemonger
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In reply to ValleyRatAg • 1:21a, 3/25/23
AG
ValleyRatAg said:
My 17 year old son will straight up ask a girl that he's interested in how she likes her steak if the answer is anywhere above medium rare he moves on. He told me he figures her parents must be commies.


I got to where I used to make sure and ask 2 questions on every first date I had to gauge comparability in certain areas.
1. Are you a dog or cat person?
2. Do you like spicy food?
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Chipotlemonger
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In reply to Chipotlemonger • 1:21a, 3/25/23
AG
Oh, and the answers would have needed to be dog and yes to spicy for me
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