Online dating a disaster for men

71,032 Views | 780 Replies | Last: 7 mo ago by Green2Maroon
12th Man
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I'm finna celebrate my 14th wedding anniversary in about two weeks. My wife, as well as the two long-term girlfriends I had in the seven years prior to meeting my now-wife each happened via online dating services- two gf's via match.com and my wife on eHarmony.

It was really fun, but my overwhelming memory of the online dating scene is my astonishment at the level of deception. I learned what signs to look for, but I still met some women whose profile pics camouflaged a lot. The other sense I got was that there's no shortage of women looking for a decent guy. As my anniversary approaches, I gather that Match is now to online dating what the General Board is to mensa-level discourse, but I'll still endorse eHarmony.
Mrs. FishrCoAg
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First off, I had to check to see which board I was on. Since no one was being a jerk one way or another, I was pleasantly surprised that we were on F16. Secondly, lol at some of the. dudes who are STILL single who would flirt hard WAY BACK in the day on the GB. Third, y'all don't give up. We live in a society where we want instant gratification and don't take the time to know each other. Women are just as guilty of that as men. And I'd challenge you to pick someone who is completely opposite to you because it will make things interesting.

Good luck. And keep up this awesome thread.
schmellba99
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agracer said:

TAMUallen said:

Those are some terrible stats. I dont know how ugly guys stay alive
Personality, believe it or not, matters a lot.

Guy in my dorm was not the most attractive guy on our ramp but had women falling all over him b/c he had a great personality, made everyone in the room laugh and got along with everyone.
One of my good friends at A&M was like this. He was goofy looking as all get out, guess he had height going for him.

But the dude was just fun to be around. He had a great charismatic personality and had the ability to say anything to females without a care in the world. I'm talking stuff that would have gotten my ass beat by the female and all of her friends. But 95% of the time (probably more) he said something off the wall, stupid, crass, etc. - they laughed. Because he had been making them laugh most of the night already.

I've always had my best luck when I wasn't even trying and simply didn't care. Met plenty of girlfriends that way and ultimately that's how I met my wife. I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time; hell we lived in different states. But a chance meeting and neither one of us out prowling for a date apparently was the magic formula. Just passed 18 years of marriage.
GeorgiAg
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12th Man said:

I'm finna celebrate my 14th wedding anniversary in about two weeks. My wife, as well as the two long-term girlfriends I had in the seven years prior to meeting my now-wife each happened via online dating services- two gf's via match.com and my wife on eHarmony.

It was really fun, but my overwhelming memory of the online dating scene is my astonishment at the level of deception. I learned what signs to look for, but I still met some women whose profile pics camouflaged a lot. The other sense I got was that there's no shortage of women looking for a decent guy. As my anniversary approaches, I gather that Match is now to online dating what the General Board is to mensa-level discourse, but I'll still endorse eHarmony.
The fat ones have all headshots or pics that hide their body in some way. The key is to look at their clavicles. The fatties can't hide their fat clavicles out of their headshots.
Mrs. FishrCoAg
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As a woman, this is 100 percent true.
GeorgiAg
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I had one that was funny. We texted for a bit, then decided to meet. Picked a restaurant and then I went. And I sat and sat. Drank a couple of beers and was pissed off. Waste of time. Then I get this nasty text message blessing me out for standing her up.

The restaurant we picked had two locations same name and neither one of us knew it.


(so make sure you specify which McDonalds ... ha)
YouBet
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EclipseAg said:

You single guys need to do what I did.

I was reading the personal columns in the newspaper one night.

I saw an ad from a woman that explained how she liked a lot of different things ... certain drinks, her love of nature, the fact that she wanted someone halfway smart -- someone who wasn't obsessed with healthy living.

So I took out an ad, too, explaining that I liked all the same things. I asked her to meet me at this little bar the very next day.

Imagine my surprise when my current girlfriend walked in! I knew it was her the minute I saw her smile. I just never knew we had so much in common.

We've been married a long time now. And we both still enjoy midnight in the dunes. By the cape.


I also use the personals, and I think I've found my third wife. I just hope she responds to this:

GeorgiAg
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There's also some really freaky stuff on there. Gross. I quit using Tinder. It was for hookups not serious dating. And weird crap like this. I've been out of the game for a while so I don't know what is going on now.

Some funny stuff too. I ruined this girl's gummy bear joke and then she ghosted me.

I was sharing with my married friends for laughs. My Samsung Galaxy caught fire and I switched to Apple. So I still have a bunch of these screenshots from back in the day in my google photos I never deleted.





Hoyt Ag
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Yall are gonna get this thread axed with **** like that.
AgCat93
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Burdizzo said:

AgCat93 said:

Met an absolute piranha via a Facebook group. Turned out she had been arrested for DUI after wrecking her pickup.

She was also known to drink a bottle of vodka a day and nearly died of liver failure.

Turned out she's homeless and sleeps around for a place to stay. She cannot drive because of her medical issues.

The topper: A&M class of 1994. I verified it.



Is she still available?

For a really steep price.
GeorgiAg
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Hoyt Ag said:

Yall are gonna get this thread axed with **** like that.
I edited it. Anyway. There was some freaky stuff on Tinder. And obv. hookup garbage.

Match and Bumble were more wholesome.
GenericAggie
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JR Ewingford said:

agent-maroon said:

Yeah, I thought women were crazy before I tried online dating (25+ years ago). Then I discovered what crazy really was. I even stopped dating for a while until I could convince myself that there was someone out there sane enough to have a relationship with. Met my wife at work and have no regrets about the traditional dating approach 22 years later.


You are correct. There are literally insane women out there. One was so bad I had a cop friend push me to make a report on her.


Tell us more!!!
BenFiasco14
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GenericAggie said:

JR Ewingford said:

agent-maroon said:

Yeah, I thought women were crazy before I tried online dating (25+ years ago). Then I discovered what crazy really was. I even stopped dating for a while until I could convince myself that there was someone out there sane enough to have a relationship with. Met my wife at work and have no regrets about the traditional dating approach 22 years later.


You are correct. There are literally insane women out there. One was so bad I had a cop friend push me to make a report on her.


Tell us more!!!
CNN is an enemy of the state and should be treated as such.
Captain Pablo
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O.G. said:

Been divorced 9 years now, have had a couple good relationships in that time & dated quie a bit, but I have also spent a great deal of time alone, by choice.

Being alone is almost addictive. I went to bed when I wanted to (early) & woke up when I wanted to (also early). I travelled a good bit and did whatever the hell I wanted to. I definitely dated in that time, but made it clear up front that I was not in it for the long haul.

I did try dating apps twice for a total of about a month or so & was a total waste of time. I didn't need it, in any way.

Then I met my current girlfriend organically. Don't know if I'll ever get married again, we will see. Maybe.

My message: Do not ever believe that you NEED to be in a relationship, especially after you been through divorce etc. You do not.


This is good stuff
O.G.
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Captain Pablo said:

O.G. said:

Been divorced 9 years now, have had a couple good relationships in that time & dated quie a bit, but I have also spent a great deal of time alone, by choice.

Being alone is almost addictive. I went to bed when I wanted to (early) & woke up when I wanted to (also early). I travelled a good bit and did whatever the hell I wanted to. I definitely dated in that time, but made it clear up front that I was not in it for the long haul.

I did try dating apps twice for a total of about a month or so & was a total waste of time. I didn't need it, in any way.

Then I met my current girlfriend organically. Don't know if I'll ever get married again, we will see. Maybe.

My message: Do not ever believe that you NEED to be in a relationship, especially after you been through divorce etc. You do not.


This is good stuff
Thank you, I remember you guiding us on my last honeymoon....
Stone Choir
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El Gallo Blanco said:

What worries me, even as a right winger, or maybe especially as a right winger, is that I do think there will be an unprecedentedly large group of jaded lonely depressed pissed off men and women with no sense of purpose a decade or two from now, and that many of the men might start "acting out" more. And if the young gen male population truly is trending solidly to the right, many might embrace or carry out those causes in a pretty radical manner.

Hope I'm wrong and that an insane amount of lonely and depressed middle aged virgin men just all relax and don't get too crazy.

But a right wing dude with everything to live for is much less likely to do anything crazy than a right wing dude with nothing to live for.


This is already here. There is a huge group of disaffected men who are permanently incels with no shot at marriage or any real future. They don't even care about working.
GeorgiAg
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Stone Choir said:

El Gallo Blanco said:

What worries me, even as a right winger, or maybe especially as a right winger, is that I do think there will be an unprecedentedly large group of jaded lonely depressed pissed off men and women with no sense of purpose a decade or two from now, and that many of the men might start "acting out" more. And if the young gen male population truly is trending solidly to the right, many might embrace or carry out those causes in a pretty radical manner.

Hope I'm wrong and that an insane amount of lonely and depressed middle aged virgin men just all relax and don't get too crazy.

But a right wing dude with everything to live for is much less likely to do anything crazy than a right wing dude with nothing to live for.


This is already here. There is a huge group of disaffected men who are permanently incels with no shot at marriage or any real future. They don't even care about working.
They are all just going to have A.I. girlfriends. And just look at Japan. They are absolutely nuts.

I think humanity is f'ed.
Captain Pablo
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O.G. said:

Captain Pablo said:

O.G. said:

Been divorced 9 years now, have had a couple good relationships in that time & dated quie a bit, but I have also spent a great deal of time alone, by choice.

Being alone is almost addictive. I went to bed when I wanted to (early) & woke up when I wanted to (also early). I travelled a good bit and did whatever the hell I wanted to. I definitely dated in that time, but made it clear up front that I was not in it for the long haul.

I did try dating apps twice for a total of about a month or so & was a total waste of time. I didn't need it, in any way.

Then I met my current girlfriend organically. Don't know if I'll ever get married again, we will see. Maybe.

My message: Do not ever believe that you NEED to be in a relationship, especially after you been through divorce etc. You do not.


This is good stuff
Thank you, I remember you guiding us one my last honeymoon....



Ha! Well my prices have gone up! It's now $2.50 !
Stone Choir
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GeorgiAg said:

Stone Choir said:

El Gallo Blanco said:

What worries me, even as a right winger, or maybe especially as a right winger, is that I do think there will be an unprecedentedly large group of jaded lonely depressed pissed off men and women with no sense of purpose a decade or two from now, and that many of the men might start "acting out" more. And if the young gen male population truly is trending solidly to the right, many might embrace or carry out those causes in a pretty radical manner.

Hope I'm wrong and that an insane amount of lonely and depressed middle aged virgin men just all relax and don't get too crazy.

But a right wing dude with everything to live for is much less likely to do anything crazy than a right wing dude with nothing to live for.


This is already here. There is a huge group of disaffected men who are permanently incels with no shot at marriage or any real future. They don't even care about working.
They are all just going to have A.I. girlfriends. And just look at Japan. They are absolutely nuts.

I think humanity is f'ed.


Unfortunately, it's going to get really bad before it ever gets better. I think AI will likely solve a lot of this as the general population gets oneshotted by it.
YouBet
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Captain Pablo said:

Old McDonald said:

skill issue. as a man the onus is on you to become the kind of person a woman wants to date. that means you gotta drop the gaming and gambling addictions, take care of business in your career, and keep yourself and your home hygienic. i've never met a man who met all of those criteria and still had issues dating.


Wow. I agree with Old McDonald on something

This is spot on

And the dude doesn't have to be perfect

Just take care of yourself, don't be fat, have a job, don't waste time with video games, the internet, don't be a slob, treat women decently (open the door, walk next to the street, remember birthdays, pet her dog or cat, don't leave your dirty clothes laying around), DONT ABUSE ALCOHOL OR DRUGS! Go to the gym or at least walk around the block a few times it's not as hard as a lot of guys make it out to be.

I will say this, I have female friends who have done online dating and they have shown me some of the stupid sh/t potential suitors put online, and I can honestly say, it ain't always the woman's fault. There are a lot of idiots out there.

EDIT - I have male friends who have done online dating, and I can say, many iof the women on those sites are complete whack jobs

The problem might not just be one gender or the other. The problem might just be people, and a world of social media.. Humanity just isn't equipped for it.
I have a pretty attractive female friend (quite a bit younger than me) who is single and can confirm. It's a mess out there. She's a good girl not looking to hook up and can't really find anyone. Last time I was at HH with her she whipped out her phone and ran through a litany of morons on the dating apps she's on.

Very enlightening. Shirtless dudes, beta males holding a cat, all kinds of ridiculous stuff.

Makes me nauseous to think of being single again. Doubt I would even try to date. Someone happening across my path would be about the only way it would happen.
techno-ag
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GeorgiAg said:

Stone Choir said:

El Gallo Blanco said:

What worries me, even as a right winger, or maybe especially as a right winger, is that I do think there will be an unprecedentedly large group of jaded lonely depressed pissed off men and women with no sense of purpose a decade or two from now, and that many of the men might start "acting out" more. And if the young gen male population truly is trending solidly to the right, many might embrace or carry out those causes in a pretty radical manner.

Hope I'm wrong and that an insane amount of lonely and depressed middle aged virgin men just all relax and don't get too crazy.

But a right wing dude with everything to live for is much less likely to do anything crazy than a right wing dude with nothing to live for.


This is already here. There is a huge group of disaffected men who are permanently incels with no shot at marriage or any real future. They don't even care about working.
They are all just going to have A.I. girlfriends. And just look at Japan. They are absolutely nuts.


Dudes are killing themselves over fake girlfriends.

https://www.menshealth.com/uk/mental-strength/a64722200/men-are-dating-ai-girlfriends/
The left cannot kill the Spirit of Charlie Kirk.
El Gallo Blanco
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Stone Choir said:

El Gallo Blanco said:

What worries me, even as a right winger, or maybe especially as a right winger, is that I do think there will be an unprecedentedly large group of jaded lonely depressed pissed off men and women with no sense of purpose a decade or two from now, and that many of the men might start "acting out" more. And if the young gen male population truly is trending solidly to the right, many might embrace or carry out those causes in a pretty radical manner.

Hope I'm wrong and that an insane amount of lonely and depressed middle aged virgin men just all relax and don't get too crazy.

But a right wing dude with everything to live for is much less likely to do anything crazy than a right wing dude with nothing to live for.


This is already here. There is a huge group of disaffected men who are permanently incels with no shot at marriage or any real future. They don't even care about working.
Yep, and just wait until they're in their 30's 40's and 50's.
agsalaska
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My daughter is 16 and her boyfriend is 17. They are head over heels for each other. I pray that they make it so she doesn't have to deal with any of this nonsense. My parents were13-14 when they met and teenagers when both me and my closest younger sister were born. They had their last kid out of the house by 40 and are Still going strong. My wife and I have been together since we were 18 and 19 but we made the mistake of waiting ten years to have children.

This whole thing is just insanity. We need to get back to marrying young and having babies young. The average first time mother should be 21, not 29 or whatever it is now. If my daughter and her boyfriend make it I hope they have kids by 21. And have a lot of them.
Queso1
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I don't feel this is such a problem in areas not afflicted with leftist degeneracy. Maybe I'm wrong, but you don't need Tinder to find a mate. Church would be a great place to start. The incels blame social media and there may be some merit to that, and I understand that, quoting Seinfeld, 90 to 95 percent of the population is undatable. I realize there are really ugly and fat people out there that likely will never find love.

But a lot of this has to do with young men being exposed to hard core porno since age 8. It twists them up. Unfortunately it's also affecting women.
Watermelon Man
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O.G. said:

Captain Pablo said:

O.G. said:

Been divorced 9 years now, have had a couple good relationships in that time & dated quie a bit, but I have also spent a great deal of time alone, by choice.

Being alone is almost addictive. I went to bed when I wanted to (early) & woke up when I wanted to (also early). I travelled a good bit and did whatever the hell I wanted to. I definitely dated in that time, but made it clear up front that I was not in it for the long haul.

I did try dating apps twice for a total of about a month or so & was a total waste of time. I didn't need it, in any way.

Then I met my current girlfriend organically. Don't know if I'll ever get married again, we will see. Maybe.

My message: Do not ever believe that you NEED to be in a relationship, especially after you been through divorce etc. You do not.


This is good stuff
Thank you, I remember you guiding us one my last honeymoon....

I'd have figured that after the first one, you wouldn't need any help...
samurai_science
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Queso1 said:

I don't feel this is such a problem in areas not afflicted with leftist degeneracy. Maybe I'm wrong, but you don't need Tinder to find a mate. Church would be a great place to start. The incels blame social media and there may be some merit to that, and I understand that, quoting Seinfeld, 90 to 95 percent of the population is undatable. I realize there are really ugly and fat people out there that likely will never find love.

But a lot of this has to do with young men being exposed to hard core porno since age 8. It twists them up. Unfortunately it's also affecting women.
LOL, "incels" is the buzz word for leftist and it's what they use for anyone who might have a disagreement or criticize a woman.

Trying to find actual incels is the same as trying to find neo nazis, there is like 30 in the entire country.
Watermelon Man
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BigRobSA said:

SeMgCo87 said:

BigRobSA said:

Why the hell would anyone date online?

Geez, this country is friggin' lazy.


Just go out and find a real girl to throw game at. Or a guy, if you're a LOLgay ().

The internet, and smartphones, have proven to be a net negative to humanity. So many lazyasses. Even to get some strange.
I met my second (current) wife online 19 years ago...we've been married 18 years. Mebbe the market has changed, but it was good for me. I guess it depends for what both of you are looking...
Exception to the rule.

Congrats on the sex!!!!1
If you think that, for women, dating is about sex, well, that's part of the problem.

If you are focused on sex, the OP is correct. Unless you are in the top 10, the women who are also focused on sex will pass you by for better specimens.

If you are honest, dependable, and considerate, you aren't going to have any problems, IME.
BonfireNerd04
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Stone Choir said:

El Gallo Blanco said:

What worries me, even as a right winger, or maybe especially as a right winger, is that I do think there will be an unprecedentedly large group of jaded lonely depressed pissed off men and women with no sense of purpose a decade or two from now, and that many of the men might start "acting out" more. And if the young gen male population truly is trending solidly to the right, many might embrace or carry out those causes in a pretty radical manner.

Hope I'm wrong and that an insane amount of lonely and depressed middle aged virgin men just all relax and don't get too crazy.

But a right wing dude with everything to live for is much less likely to do anything crazy than a right wing dude with nothing to live for.


This is already here. There is a huge group of disaffected men who are permanently incels with no shot at marriage or any real future. They don't even care about working.


I'm 42 and single. I've been continously employed since 2006, but I'm starting to question why. Nobody else depends on my income. It seems that adulthood is a one-sided deal where responsibilities are for everyone, but benefits are only for couples.
texagbeliever
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A single man can still live for others. Find a way to give to others that flows through your natural talents and interests. No man is meant to live just for himself.
TexasRebel
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Most careers pay more in benefits if you're not single.

Why don't we see those savings?
bobbranco
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GeorgiAg said:




I'm an idiot
Jeeper79
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12th Man said:

I'm finna celebrate my 14th wedding anniversary in about two weeks. My wife, as well as the two long-term girlfriends I had in the seven years prior to meeting my now-wife each happened via online dating services- two gf's via match.com and my wife on eHarmony.

It was really fun, but my overwhelming memory of the online dating scene is my astonishment at the level of deception. I learned what signs to look for, but I still met some women whose profile pics camouflaged a lot. The other sense I got was that there's no shortage of women looking for a decent guy. As my anniversary approaches, I gather that Match is now to online dating what the General Board is to mensa-level discourse, but I'll still endorse eHarmony.
eharmony matched me with my wife while we were already talking on match. That pretty much sealed it.
AggieT
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This thread is depressing.

Some of you are making this too hard, and/or making excuses.
Ensign Mayo
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Met my wife on Tinder. So...It worked for me.

I will say, however, that online dating takes the "sport" out of hunting women. When you actually have to go up and say something interesting to get their number. That's the natural way of doing it. Online dating was like shooting fish in a barrel.
FIDO*98*
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agsalaska said:

My daughter is 16 and her boyfriend is 17. They are head over heels for each other. I pray that they make it so she doesn't have to deal with any of this nonsense. My parents were13-14 when they met and teenagers when both me and my closest younger sister were born. They had their last kid out of the house by 40 and are Still going strong. My wife and I have been together since we were 18 and 19 but we made the mistake of waiting ten years to have children.

This whole thing is just insanity. We need to get back to marrying young and having babies young. The average first time mother should be 21, not 29 or whatever it is now. If my daughter and her boyfriend make it I hope they have kids by 21. And have a lot of them.



I was in Cabo two weeks ago on a dive trip by myself and ended up getting partnered with a guy who is a destination photographer out of Albuquerque. We ended up hanging out after the trip and going to lunch together. He told me that he is seeing a trend of people marrying at younger ages. It's anecdotal, but several of my son's high school classmates are engaged or married in their early 20s and my 21yo son has been dating a girl who he thinks might be the one. She would be a great match for him and I hope things work out in the long run.

 
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