I had not planned on getting on TexAgs tonight. Kids went to a friend's for a sleepover; took my wife out to dinner for her birthday and we were watching Ford v. Ferrari when I took a pause to make some coffee and she checked her phone and saw the news.

I've got a picture here on my desk of my mom, her four sisters, and their parents at my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary party back in the spring of 1997.My grandfather died that year on Halloween of cancer.

In October, he drove himself to the hospital to have another skin cancer procedure done, it was probably the 5th or 6th he had underwent. When they put him under, his vitals plummeted and they were struggling to keep him breathing and with anything resembling a normal pulse. They got him on a ventilator and ran an ultrasound on him - multiple tumors in his chest, wrapped around his organs, impossible to remove without killing him. He was in a coma from there on out, kept alive by a ventilator. I was 23 then, half my current age. I went in with my mom to see him and say goodbye. I consider it one of the worst mistakes of my life. He was lifeless and the machine was moving him like a puppet as it pushed air into his lungs and pulled it back out. I've never been able to shake that image out of my head of him looking so small and frail.

When I look at that picture on my desk, I can see the cancer . He's ultra thin and his suit is hanging off him like he's 12 years old playing dress-up. He kept it a secret because he didn't want to spend the time he had left with everyone knowing he was slowly dying and pitying him and trying to bend over backwards for him.

I get why Chadwick Boseman didn't want to tell anyone. It would have slowed down his quest to keep living. I went to see Black Panther with my normally-reclusive brother and had a blast. That's a nice memory to hold onto tonight.

I remember when this picture came out and people (myself included) thought he was bored/ over it. Good reminder to always give people the benefit of the doubt.

T'Challa goes on Black Jeopardy

Chadwick talking about a couple of kids with terminal cancer. This is what gave him the willpower to do the work.

This is one of the most shocking celebrity deaths I can remember, especially considering that it was from a long illness that no one knew about. Seemed like a good man. RIP.