P.H. Dexippus said:

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Rapier108 said:

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Hogties said:

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Whatever happened to finding a woman in the real world? Church, the gym, a bar?

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Church is the absolute worst.

The girls and women would only look for the "perfect" men because they have been raised under the delusion that God had already selected their husband and he will be "perfect for her." Often they'll use the stupid phrase "waiting for my Boaz" which really meant waiting for a rich guy. If I had a $ for every time I heard that, I'd be Boaz.

Also, if you ask a woman out at church, and she turns you down, you're done at that church when it comes to meeting someone. They all talk, and they all know you asked her out. Ask out another one a year later, and she'll remember and take offense to it because it means you see her as "second best."

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I generally appreciate your posts, but this is far off base. I met my wife at church, and know double-digits of people that I was single with at church that are now married to someone they met there. Not all churches/church experiences are the same.

Like anything, it comes down to the individuals involved. The right church with a singles ministry just happens to be the best concentration of finding someone spiritually likeminded, which is probably the most fundamentally important factor you can control for in a prospective spouse.

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Good for you.

Sadly, my experiences in church (30+ years worth) have been pretty lousy, and not just when it comes to potential relationships.

1981 Monte Carlo said:

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bonfarr said:

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This has been known for years. My BIL lived through this after his divorce and has largely given up

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I feel sorry for men in their 30's/40's/50's who are in this position. No way I could do the online dating thing. If church doesn't work, my only advice would be to try to find a conservative Christian foreigner from humble beginnings (preferably Eastern European or South American), if you couldn't find a good American girl at church first. Or maybe a poor Vietnamese woman. If you keep it domestic, may have to expand your dating pool to divorced mothers.

American women are largely damaged goods with completely unrealistic expectations. The only younger people I know getting married in their 20's fell in love in college.

More people need to realize that it doesn't matter how "hot" your spouse is, if they suck they suck and you will no longer find them attractive. If they are a little more average looking, but loyal and have a good personally, you will find them MORE attractive.

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Uhh….Yeah. Who else do you expect to meet out there?

cecil77 said:

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Just wait... Once over 70 if you're a man that can drive at night and still get it up you're in high demand.

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A friend's dad was in his 80s and at an assisted living community. He literally went out to lunch or dinner with a different woman every day. If you have all of your teeth and your brain still works at that age, you are Chad Thundercock.

Another piece of advice. I was always the person my single male friends would want me to meet for my opinion. Guess I have that BSC lady radar. And one of my friends was a magnet for that type. And the reason was that he had an air of desperation about him. over eager. Striving too hard to please. Not a great looking guy but not ugly. A bit of Dad body. Had a good job making money. Dressed well. Intelligent and could carry on a conversation.

But he was so insecure, lack of confidence. That may not seem attractive but to women on the matrix, easy to manipulate and use.

Rapier108 said:

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P.H. Dexippus said:

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Rapier108 said:

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Hogties said:

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Whatever happened to finding a woman in the real world? Church, the gym, a bar?

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Church is the absolute worst.

The girls and women would only look for the "perfect" men because they have been raised under the delusion that God had already selected their husband and he will be "perfect for her." Often they'll use the stupid phrase "waiting for my Boaz" which really meant waiting for a rich guy. If I had a $ for every time I heard that, I'd be Boaz.

Also, if you ask a woman out at church, and she turns you down, you're done at that church when it comes to meeting someone. They all talk, and they all know you asked her out. Ask out another one a year later, and she'll remember and take offense to it because it means you see her as "second best."

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I generally appreciate your posts, but this is far off base. I met my wife at church, and know double-digits of people that I was single with at church that are now married to someone they met there. Not all churches/church experiences are the same.

Like anything, it comes down to the individuals involved. The right church with a singles ministry just happens to be the best concentration of finding someone spiritually likeminded, which is probably the most fundamentally important factor you can control for in a prospective spouse.

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Good for you.

Sadly, my experiences in church (30+ years worth) have been pretty lousy, and not just when it comes to potential relationships.

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We know. You remind us on every dating thread.

Pickleball?

ntxVol said:

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IDK, I am 6'3" but I don't really consider myself to be "hot".. I don't have trouble getting dates on the apps but man, it's a real **** show.

Guys need to work on becoming a high-value man (Google it). That's what women really want, but it is the same for women. There aren't many high-value women in the world unfortunately.

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There it is, simply put, high value men don't struggle to find the right woman.

javajaws said:

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All of us married guys over 45 that have never used dating apps should take a challenge. With our wives permission, we should have a contest to see who can get the most dates on one of these apps and check out the **** show for ourselves.

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Someone never watched the movie Hall Pass

aggiehawg said:

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Quote:

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I try to do a lot of volunteer work now and am considering taking cooking or dance group lessons. People have emerged from their shells finally after Covid and these show a lot more promise.

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Either of those could be productive but I'd encourage cooking lessons more. Here's why. It is improving yourself learning a new skill that you will use for the rest of your life and if you end up really liking it and cooking for other people who enjoy food, that is a real ice breaker. And it doesn't have to be fancy or overly complicated, just flavorful.

A man that prepares a meal, a good one, for a woman is impressive to them. (And cheaper than taking them to a fancy restaurant.) Following a recipe is not hard to do. But having the right ingredients and spices takes planning.

Thumbs up for such a plan and good luck. Cooking can be a reward within itself.

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Hawg, thank you for the feedback. It's good to have a female perspective. I don't cook as it is because there's really no point in just cooking for one. I'm also a big hunter and would like to be able to cook my own meat (other than the grill) rather than just giving it away. But that may also anger my buddies who I keep flush in elk, axis, duck, and hopefully caribou this fall.

aggiehawg said:

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Another piece of advice. I was always the person my single male friends would want me to meet for my opinion. Guess I have that BSC lady radar. And one of my friends was a magnet for that type. And the reason was that he had an air of desperation about him. over eager. Striving too hard to please. Not a great looking guy but not ugly. A bit of Dad body. Had a good job making money. Dressed well. Intelligent and could carry on a conversation.

But he was so insecure, lack of confidence. That may not seem attractive but to women on the matrix, easy to manipulate and use.

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Some mentioned it on here earlier, but I recommend learning to dance. If you go out anywhere with live music, there are always women dancing, always ones looking for a partner. If you're able and willing to dance, it exudes confidence. Was your friend a dancer?

As for the BSC radar thing, I read a lot of women authors. If what I've read is even 50% accurate, women engage in a level of psychological warfare based around simple facial expressions that men simply do not see. We don't notice visual cues, so having a woman around who can interpret and see what we're missing is beneficial. Y'all notice the visual cues we miss.

techno-ag said:

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Rapier108 said:

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P.H. Dexippus said:

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Rapier108 said:

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Hogties said:

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Whatever happened to finding a woman in the real world? Church, the gym, a bar?

---

Church is the absolute worst.

The girls and women would only look for the "perfect" men because they have been raised under the delusion that God had already selected their husband and he will be "perfect for her." Often they'll use the stupid phrase "waiting for my Boaz" which really meant waiting for a rich guy. If I had a $ for every time I heard that, I'd be Boaz.

Also, if you ask a woman out at church, and she turns you down, you're done at that church when it comes to meeting someone. They all talk, and they all know you asked her out. Ask out another one a year later, and she'll remember and take offense to it because it means you see her as "second best."

---

I generally appreciate your posts, but this is far off base. I met my wife at church, and know double-digits of people that I was single with at church that are now married to someone they met there. Not all churches/church experiences are the same.

Like anything, it comes down to the individuals involved. The right church with a singles ministry just happens to be the best concentration of finding someone spiritually likeminded, which is probably the most fundamentally important factor you can control for in a prospective spouse.

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Good for you.

Sadly, my experiences in church (30+ years worth) have been pretty lousy, and not just when it comes to potential relationships.

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We know. You remind us on every dating thread.

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I thought I had read the "church is the worst" rant before. Thanks for confirming

93MarineHorn said:

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cecil77 said:

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LMCane said:

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93MarineHorn said:

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The bi-monthly thread complaining about how only hot guys can get laid has re-appeared right on schedule. Obviously, an environment like online dating apps will strongly favor good looking guys. But if you go out to a bar, restaurant, concert or any other social venue you can meet women. There are so many things a man can do, short of growing taller, that will vastly enhance his chances of landing a woman that is similar to him in looks.

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it's called having a net worth of several million dollars

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Or a roll of silver dollars in your front pants pocket.

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Hit the gym for 6 months, get a good haircut, teeth whitened and fresh clothes (it's unbelievable how much this matters to women). Do that and act with some confidence and humor and you'll be just fine unless you're some kind of troll.

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javajaws said:

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All of us married guys over 45 that have never used dating apps should take a challenge. With our wives permission, we should have a contest to see who can get the most dates on one of these apps and check out the **** show for ourselves.

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I have a better idea. Have your wives create an account and see how much attention they get, that'll make you appreciate what you have REAL QUICK

astros4545 said:

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HoustonAggie11 said:

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Most American women are fat, Ill pass.

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Single biggest problem of many problems

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It's a lot easier for a girl to get skinny than to get uncrazy so I will disagree with you there.

Backyard Gator said:

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Rubicante said:

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My friend (who has been out of high school for about 40 years now) recently got a letter in the mail containing a 5 x 7 portrait photo from a guy she dumped in high school, with the inscription "See what you missed?"

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Imagine letting some chick in high school control your mind for over four decades......

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The girl I had a huge crush on in middle and High School died twenty years ago from cancer.

I had one night at a Genesis concert where she sat on my lap. I was too much of a scared p**** to ask her out even after that. Didn't get my mojo until college. I still think about her from time to time. RIP Priscilla.

cecil77 said:

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Just wait... Once over 70 if you're a man that can drive at night and still get it up you're in high demand.

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My mom died in 2018 when my dad was 75. My MIL died in 2022. My FIL is 70. My dad is remarried. My FIL has a girlfriend with no intention of marring her. Both women hit the jackpot in terms of finding someone. If my wife dies before me, there is no way in hell I am getting remarried or even trying to date.

Quote:

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Hawg, thank you for the feedback. It's good to have a female perspective. I don't cook as it is because there's really no point in just cooking for one. I'm also a big hunter and would like to be able to cook my own meat (other than the grill) rather than just giving it away. But that may also anger my buddies who I keep flush in elk, axis, duck, and hopefully caribou this fall.

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Have a kind of funny story about that. My first legal position, I was the only female attorney in the firm. The males decided to go for a elk hunt. I of course was not invited. (Not that I cared.) But after the hunt, we were sitting around doing the normal scotch hour wherein we discussed business, how our cases were going, etc. And suddenly the guys veered into trading recipes that their wives were making from the elk meat.

Now as I was an am a foodie who cooked a lot, talking about recipes was not foreign to me but I couldn't resist just a little jab. I finished my drink, stood up, "Gentlemen as fascinating as this is never thought I'd be hearing you guys trading recipes."

And I do understand why cooking for one is not that appealing (did that for a long time myself) but it doesn't have to be just for you. Invite people, including your buddies (and wives/girlfriends) over for wild game type of potluck dinner. They bring their favorite dishes and just graze (for lack of a better term.)

Do a little googling for podcasts that deal with new recipes for wild game. Casseroles, Shepherd's pies, stews, appetizers and the like. There are a lot of these wild game cooks out there inventing new recipes. Change it up a little.

If you do take my advice and try this, one final piece of advice. As someone who has thrown huge (100+) parties and fed everybody, entertaining can be very stressful. So KISS, keep it simple, stupid. Don't take too much on. If they don't like it, its not like you need to give their money back.

ETA: To get you started.

Playlist for variety:
LINK

Backyard Gator said:

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Rubicante said:

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My friend (who has been out of high school for about 40 years now) recently got a letter in the mail containing a 5 x 7 portrait photo from a guy she dumped in high school, with the inscription "See what you missed?"

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Imagine letting some chick in high school control your mind for over four decades......

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This sounds more like something a woman would send, like another girl that was a rival in HS sent it to show here "Ha he picked me"

Backyard Gator said:

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GeorgiAg said:

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Backyard Gator said:

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Rubicante said:

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My friend (who has been out of high school for about 40 years now) recently got a letter in the mail containing a 5 x 7 portrait photo from a guy she dumped in high school, with the inscription "See what you missed?"

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Imagine letting some chick in high school control your mind for over four decades......

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The girl I had a huge crush on in middle and High School died twenty years ago from cancer.

I had one night at a Genesis concert where she sat on my lap. I was too much of a scared p**** to ask her out even after that. Didn't get my mojo until college. I still think about her from time to time. RIP Priscilla.

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This reminds me of a 'signs younger you missed' thread where one guy said his 'female bestie' asked him to stay overnight at her house because 'her parents were out of town and she didn't want to be alone', asked him to sleep in her bed, and then she slept naked next to him all night. He just figured "that's how she always sleeps, it isn't a sign". You weren't as oblivious as that guy.

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Wow. Thank you. I feel better now.

To a man, a woman being hot means big boobs, nice butt, nice hair, pretty face and slim figure. Intelligence optional, net worth optional.

To a woman, a man being hot means that he has to have a well paying job, fancy title, high social status and not be fat, not be ugly, not be short. Note that not being short doesn't mean "tall".

infinity ag said:

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To a man, a woman being hot means big boobs, nice butt, nice hair, pretty face and slim figure. Intelligence optional, net worth optional.

To a woman, a man being hot means that he has to have a well paying job, fancy title, high social status and not be fat, not be ugly, not be short. Note that not being short doesn't mean "tall".

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Women care more about money. Men care more about looks.

So your new wife canceled out your concerned moderate Biden vote?

Quote:

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Plenty of average Joe's are hooking up in real life (as in not on dating apps) because of their personality, sense of humor, whatever. Guy in my dorm at A&M seemed to hook up with different women every few weeks and no one would have called him "hot". But he was funny as hell and had a way of talking to people and they'd instantly like him.

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My roommate was like this at A&M too. Definitely not a hot dude but charming to the ladies and funny as hell. Was hairy and overweight but always would bring different good looking thin girls to the house. It was head scratching for sure. lol.

techno-ag said:

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infinity ag said:

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To a man, a woman being hot means big boobs, nice butt, nice hair, pretty face and slim figure. Intelligence optional, net worth optional.

To a woman, a man being hot means that he has to have a well paying job, fancy title, high social status and not be fat, not be ugly, not be short. Note that not being short doesn't mean "tall".

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Women care more about money. Men care more about looks.

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Just get a robot gf, cheaper than the real thing.

I'm 5'6" and was the most popular 50 year old on the planet on "Our Silver Time dot com"

Some people have no game. There's lots of women that figured the HS quarterback that would screw anything on 2 legs might not have been the best choice……

Psycho Bunny said:

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Just get a robot gf, cheaper than the real thing.

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with machine learning, it's only a matter of time before she starts changing her mind at the last minute while swearing she already told you, obsessing over non-verbal communication, and getting mad at you for no apparent reason only to tell you a week later that it was about dishes in the kitchen sink

hard pass

Science Denier said:

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I admit I'm probably getting too much entertainment out of this thread.

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There's a whole "Industry" of influencers aka the "red pill" movement online, YouTube, etc. that specializes in this content. I admit it's a guilty pleasure of mine. I'm happily married but got into it because I'm concerned about my daughters entering the madness! Have also had at least one family member bust up her family (2 young boys with a good father) because she thought she could do better. Heartbreaking. She's gonna most likely learn the hard way. Here's a few red pillers if you're into that sort of thing lol!

https://youtube.com/@richcooperunplugged?si=1-Ml6FuLXeCfVZEw

https://youtube.com/@griffinmind?si=QfqbW_ykW3-BCbO2

https://youtube.com/@jedediahbilaofficial?si=3PCxLxKiUhRGlvJJ

https://store.themeateater.com/products/meateater-cookbook-box-set?variant=42217249669218A_Gang_Ag_06 said:

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aggiehawg said:

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Quote:

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I try to do a lot of volunteer work now and am considering taking cooking or dance group lessons. People have emerged from their shells finally after Covid and these show a lot more promise.Either of those could be productive but I'd encourage cooking lessons more. Here's why. It is improving yourself learning a new skill that you will use for the rest of your life and if you end up really liking it and cooking for other people who enjoy food, that is a real ice breaker. And it doesn't have to be fancy or overly complicated, just flavorful.

---

A man that prepares a meal, a good one, for a woman is impressive to them. (And cheaper than taking them to a fancy restaurant.) Following a recipe is not hard to do. But having the right ingredients and spices takes planning.

Thumbs up for such a plan and good luck. Cooking can be a reward within itself.

---

Hawg, thank you for the feedback. It's good to have a female perspective. I don't cook as it is because there's really no point in just cooking for one. I'm also a big hunter and would like to be able to cook my own meat (other than the grill) rather than just giving it away. But that may also anger my buddies who I keep flush in elk, axis, duck, and hopefully caribou this fall.

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https://store.themeateater.com/products/meateater-cookbook-box-set?variant=42217249669218

You're welcome... Just jump in there and start cooking.

bonfarr said:

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It isn't just the women filtering for 6' well built handsome men with salaries over $150 k a year that caused him to give up. His preferred dating age range was 38-50 and he was shocked at how many emotionally unbalanced women he encountered. He told me some crazy stories.

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Almost all stable, down-to-earth, and attractive women get married or are in a serious relationship that will become a marriage by their mid-twenties. There aren't a lot of those type of women out there, and the guys that get them damn sure aren't divorcing them.

This is why I date no girls older than 22

My buddy gave up on dating in the US and just flies to Costa Rica once a month to visit a lady friend. When you can work remotely it allows a lot of men to do that. He claims the women down there are much more old fashioned and while it is somewhat of a Sugar Daddy type arrangement there is great value in it compared to dating an American woman. He makes a good living but in CR he is is in the top 10% for wealth.

Serious Lee said:

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anybody else still have girls from high school or college that reach out every few years just to see "what the heck have you been up to?".

Its so transparent and sad.

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I had one send me an invitation to her divorce party... this isn't a joke.