Alcoholics Anonymous
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Last: 13 days ago by Tumble Weed
We will be meeting as normal on Thursday evening (7:00 pm central) this week but will not be meeting on Sunday evening due to Christmas. I am reposting the Zoom link below so that it is on this page. As mentioned before, any and all are welcome to join.
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/4922070133?pwd=QmRNQmI2NndFc0h4TmJaZXF3d3lqQT09
Finally, I know that the holidays can be a difficult time for any number of reasons, and they can be particularly tough for those in recovery. Outside of our regularly scheduled meetings, if anyone needs anything, please post here or PM me if you'd rather not post. We have folks that are happy to talk and be of assistance at any time, so please don't hesitate to reach out.
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/4922070133?pwd=QmRNQmI2NndFc0h4TmJaZXF3d3lqQT09
Finally, I know that the holidays can be a difficult time for any number of reasons, and they can be particularly tough for those in recovery. Outside of our regularly scheduled meetings, if anyone needs anything, please post here or PM me if you'd rather not post. We have folks that are happy to talk and be of assistance at any time, so please don't hesitate to reach out.
Ditto's to Petot's post. As a suggestion to those in recovery and having problems with this time of the year. Re-read page 101 in the Big Book and follow the suggestions. Please remember Bill put that little jewel at the tail end of the chapter on the 12th step, not in the first couple of chapters.ptothemo said:
We will be meeting as normal on Thursday evening (7:00 pm central) this week but will not be meeting on Sunday evening due to Christmas. I am reposting the Zoom link below so that it is on this page. As mentioned before, any and all are welcome to join.
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/4922070133?pwd=QmRNQmI2NndFc0h4TmJaZXF3d3lqQT09
Finally, I know that the holidays can be a difficult time for any number of reasons, and they can be particularly tough for those in recovery. Outside of our regularly scheduled meetings, if anyone needs anything, please post here or PM me if you'd rather not post. We have folks that are happy to talk and be of assistance at any time, so please don't hesitate to reach out.
On a personal note, if I don't drink and don't die for another 67 days, I'll celebrate 32 years on The Road of Happy Destiney.
The person that is not willing to fight and die, if need be, for his country has no right to life.
James Earl Rudder '32
January 31, 1945
James Earl Rudder '32
January 31, 1945
I hope that you find a AA group that you like.
Glad that you posted your story. I tell people that high functioning alcoholics have a harder time getting sober. We have built in security due to financial success, and it is harder for us to find rock bottom. I had to get professional help as well.
I am on day 617, and am finally able to celebrate during the holidays without gritting my teeth. Good luck with the journey.
Glad that you posted your story. I tell people that high functioning alcoholics have a harder time getting sober. We have built in security due to financial success, and it is harder for us to find rock bottom. I had to get professional help as well.
I am on day 617, and am finally able to celebrate during the holidays without gritting my teeth. Good luck with the journey.
Posting this because it really breaks my heart and I feel compelled to share.
I needed cash from an ATM today. I meant to go after I worked out but forgot my wallet. Came home and decided to walk to HEB and use the ATM there.
Took a route that I don't normally take, and it took me on a sidewalk behind and next to the HEB building that has a tall border of shrubs separating the sidewalk from the road.
As I made my way along the path, I nearly had to step over a backpack, cell phone, and opened can of some type of beverage that I didn't recognize. My first thought was that someone had just set it down and was coming right back for it. But as I made my way down the sidewalk and didn't see anyone else, I decided I couldn't leave it there and let someone steal the phone. So I went back.
When I bent down to investigate, I saw that the phone was dead and the backpack was damp. Inside the backpack was a wallet. No DL, but there were several debit/credit cards and a couple dollars.
I decided to take the bag into HEB, thinking maybe someone was robbed and the items were discarded as the thief ran away. But as I walked I realized that didn't make sense because nothing of value seemed to be missing.
So, I went in HEB, got my cash, and decided to go home and look up the name on the credit cards to see if I could contact someone.
On the walk home, I pulled out the wallet again and noticed the logo on the front of the backpack. It was for Last Chance Recovery. And then it hit me.
I went home and found the Facebook page of the person with the same name as on the cards. Lots of posts about addiction and recovery. When I googled his name, there were multiple arrests.
In the process, I found the name of what looked like his dad. I found the dad on LinkedIn and called the office where it said he worked. I explained the situation to guy who answered the phone who then transferred me to someone else who confirmed what I already knew. He also said he would contact the dad and let him know what I found.
A short time later, the dad called me. He lived nearby, so I drove the backpack and other items to him. When we met, he was clearly distressed, but in the quiet, calm way people who have been dealing with this for years usually are.
He said the son went out for a run a little after 10 am. I found the backpack maybe around 1030 am. He also said he'd been sober for about 6 months.
As I was typing this, I got a call from the coworker I had spoken with earlier who let me know the dad found his son. I don't know anymore details than that.
I'm posting because, if you are to the point where you think you might have a problem, take that next step and ask for help. There are people who care about you and want you to get help - even strangers.
I needed cash from an ATM today. I meant to go after I worked out but forgot my wallet. Came home and decided to walk to HEB and use the ATM there.
Took a route that I don't normally take, and it took me on a sidewalk behind and next to the HEB building that has a tall border of shrubs separating the sidewalk from the road.
As I made my way along the path, I nearly had to step over a backpack, cell phone, and opened can of some type of beverage that I didn't recognize. My first thought was that someone had just set it down and was coming right back for it. But as I made my way down the sidewalk and didn't see anyone else, I decided I couldn't leave it there and let someone steal the phone. So I went back.
When I bent down to investigate, I saw that the phone was dead and the backpack was damp. Inside the backpack was a wallet. No DL, but there were several debit/credit cards and a couple dollars.
I decided to take the bag into HEB, thinking maybe someone was robbed and the items were discarded as the thief ran away. But as I walked I realized that didn't make sense because nothing of value seemed to be missing.
So, I went in HEB, got my cash, and decided to go home and look up the name on the credit cards to see if I could contact someone.
On the walk home, I pulled out the wallet again and noticed the logo on the front of the backpack. It was for Last Chance Recovery. And then it hit me.
I went home and found the Facebook page of the person with the same name as on the cards. Lots of posts about addiction and recovery. When I googled his name, there were multiple arrests.
In the process, I found the name of what looked like his dad. I found the dad on LinkedIn and called the office where it said he worked. I explained the situation to guy who answered the phone who then transferred me to someone else who confirmed what I already knew. He also said he would contact the dad and let him know what I found.
A short time later, the dad called me. He lived nearby, so I drove the backpack and other items to him. When we met, he was clearly distressed, but in the quiet, calm way people who have been dealing with this for years usually are.
He said the son went out for a run a little after 10 am. I found the backpack maybe around 1030 am. He also said he'd been sober for about 6 months.
As I was typing this, I got a call from the coworker I had spoken with earlier who let me know the dad found his son. I don't know anymore details than that.
I'm posting because, if you are to the point where you think you might have a problem, take that next step and ask for help. There are people who care about you and want you to get help - even strangers.
Quick programming note, we will not meet on Sunday evening as we usually would. We will pick back up Thursday evening next week.
1/24/2013. 10 years today, thanks to God, AA and people like the ones on this thread. Never could have done it on my own.
I posted a snippet of my journey last year back on page 26.
Everyone have a good day.
I posted a snippet of my journey last year back on page 26.
Everyone have a good day.
Happy Birthday and congratulations
The person that is not willing to fight and die, if need be, for his country has no right to life.
James Earl Rudder '32
January 31, 1945
James Earl Rudder '32
January 31, 1945
Day 120
Doesn't sound like much but huge for me.
Doesn't sound like much but huge for me.
It is huge. But not as huge as the 1200 nights that go with them. Congratulations.big ben said:
Day 120
Doesn't sound like much but huge for me.
The person that is not willing to fight and die, if need be, for his country has no right to life.
James Earl Rudder '32
January 31, 1945
James Earl Rudder '32
January 31, 1945
You know when you are playing golf, and keep hitting duffs and not doing well, and finally hit that one amazing shot that gives you a sense of bliss?
That is a huge dopamine drop. What your brain does at that point is unattaches some neurons and reattaches them to some other neurons. If you hit 10,000 of those amazing shots, you develop "muscle memory", and can play golf like Tiger woods. Those neurological pathways are set, and you address the ball, take a back swing, and your subconscious calls on those pathways to help you make a good shot.
But, we all know what happens if you let your frontal cortex start deciding how to make the shot. You get the yips. Your frontal cortex does not have the knowledge or memory of the exact muscle movements required to hit the ball straight and well. You duff. You chili dip. You slice.
Then, you have to figure out a way to get your frontal cortex out of the way, and get your muscle memory back into the game. In Tin Cup, it is something like putting a tee in your sock rolling up one sleeve, and doing other things to make yourself look rediculous.
What sucks about alcohol is that the very same dopamine routine kicks in to make you drink. When you hit a trigger, whether it is bad feelings, regret, good feelings, whatever, that "muscle memory" keeps nagging on you to take a drink. You have a couple, and that is where the problem begins. That frontal cortex, that would give you the yips when golfing, or tell you to slow down / stop drinking, is the first thing that alcohol attacks. It puts your frontal cortext to sleep. The only thing you have left are those stored procedures that tell you to get another, and another, and another, and another. You can't get the drinking "yips" because cortex has long gone night night.
Alcohol is insidious, because it starts its attack against the one thing that can stop its attack.
****.
That is a huge dopamine drop. What your brain does at that point is unattaches some neurons and reattaches them to some other neurons. If you hit 10,000 of those amazing shots, you develop "muscle memory", and can play golf like Tiger woods. Those neurological pathways are set, and you address the ball, take a back swing, and your subconscious calls on those pathways to help you make a good shot.
But, we all know what happens if you let your frontal cortex start deciding how to make the shot. You get the yips. Your frontal cortex does not have the knowledge or memory of the exact muscle movements required to hit the ball straight and well. You duff. You chili dip. You slice.
Then, you have to figure out a way to get your frontal cortex out of the way, and get your muscle memory back into the game. In Tin Cup, it is something like putting a tee in your sock rolling up one sleeve, and doing other things to make yourself look rediculous.
What sucks about alcohol is that the very same dopamine routine kicks in to make you drink. When you hit a trigger, whether it is bad feelings, regret, good feelings, whatever, that "muscle memory" keeps nagging on you to take a drink. You have a couple, and that is where the problem begins. That frontal cortex, that would give you the yips when golfing, or tell you to slow down / stop drinking, is the first thing that alcohol attacks. It puts your frontal cortext to sleep. The only thing you have left are those stored procedures that tell you to get another, and another, and another, and another. You can't get the drinking "yips" because cortex has long gone night night.
Alcohol is insidious, because it starts its attack against the one thing that can stop its attack.
****.
Through the Grace of God, the followship of Alcoholics Anonymous, and good sponsorship, today marks 32 years sober in the program.
The person that is not willing to fight and die, if need be, for his country has no right to life.
James Earl Rudder '32
January 31, 1945
James Earl Rudder '32
January 31, 1945
Congratulations, old timer!!!! 
Congrats Jim! I haven't been able to join you guys in awhile but I am still sober and unfortunately still fighting the same problems in life that I was last time I was on. It was such a gift getting sober when I did or I would have completely crumbled by now.
Fiance and I decided that we are going sober for a year, partially for us and partially for some of some friends that we can tell alcohol is tearing up their relationships. We have a really healthy relationship and with her going through a nasty divorce with someone's only intent is not allowing her to move and move on all while trying to hurt her we thought going sober would be the best for stress. Instead of turning to alcohol we turn to each other and God.
I have gone to AA a few times and it wasn't for me, it helped talking about it but after the first few times it did not change my thought process. What has for me is my fiance and I read the bible every day now and talk about what we read. I used alcohol to slow my brain down instead of making myself slow down. In my previous marriage I did almost all the cleaning, most of the cooking, worked 70 hours a week, and helped coached my kids' sports. Now my fiance is good about making me slow down and also brought me back to God.
I know in AA you have a sponsor but at the end of the day for me family is the one I least want to let down. Having each other during this to me is huge.Had a bad day? Let's read a little of the bible and talk about what is going on.
I also am in the habit of having drink like Supercalm every night and my fiance likes doing sleepy time tea. It is nice grabbing the bible and a nightly non-alcoholic drink to relax my brain.
I also have seen way too many people die for someone not a first responder, was abused growing up, and watched almost 15 of my friends during high school get buried. Alcohol was always a crutch on shutting down my brain. I started seeing a bunch of military veterans going sober and they were always talking about how life was so much better when they did. Figured with all the trama they have seen and how much better life is sober I should give it a shot.
I would say for anyone thinking about going sober do it, don't limit yourself on drinks, go 100% sober. It is worth it and your friends, family, and body will thank you later.
I have gone to AA a few times and it wasn't for me, it helped talking about it but after the first few times it did not change my thought process. What has for me is my fiance and I read the bible every day now and talk about what we read. I used alcohol to slow my brain down instead of making myself slow down. In my previous marriage I did almost all the cleaning, most of the cooking, worked 70 hours a week, and helped coached my kids' sports. Now my fiance is good about making me slow down and also brought me back to God.
I know in AA you have a sponsor but at the end of the day for me family is the one I least want to let down. Having each other during this to me is huge.Had a bad day? Let's read a little of the bible and talk about what is going on.
I also am in the habit of having drink like Supercalm every night and my fiance likes doing sleepy time tea. It is nice grabbing the bible and a nightly non-alcoholic drink to relax my brain.
I also have seen way too many people die for someone not a first responder, was abused growing up, and watched almost 15 of my friends during high school get buried. Alcohol was always a crutch on shutting down my brain. I started seeing a bunch of military veterans going sober and they were always talking about how life was so much better when they did. Figured with all the trama they have seen and how much better life is sober I should give it a shot.
I would say for anyone thinking about going sober do it, don't limit yourself on drinks, go 100% sober. It is worth it and your friends, family, and body will thank you later.
I'm here to say I want to quit. I am an alcoholic. Thought about using a sock but I may as well just own it. I've tried dozens of ways to "manage" it and it never works. I can't believe I'm going to go to AA but that's what I need to do.
Those are the hardest and most hopeful words you will ever write. And walking into that room will be the hardest and most hopeful thing you will ever do.
Six years ago today, I was just about to that moment, but I still had a couple of hard, lonely drunks in me before I finally surrendered on 3/19/2017. That was the hardest and very best day of my life. Having some separation from it, I can not even imagine the life that I used to live anymore. And I thank God for that.
I don't know you, but I'm damn proud of you for taking the step that you are. The next few days and weeks will likely be rather rough, but they will be worth it. Keep your chin up, and feel free to PM me if you want to talk directly.
Six years ago today, I was just about to that moment, but I still had a couple of hard, lonely drunks in me before I finally surrendered on 3/19/2017. That was the hardest and very best day of my life. Having some separation from it, I can not even imagine the life that I used to live anymore. And I thank God for that.
I don't know you, but I'm damn proud of you for taking the step that you are. The next few days and weeks will likely be rather rough, but they will be worth it. Keep your chin up, and feel free to PM me if you want to talk directly.
You are off to the right start owning it. Don't be afraid to raise your hand at your first meeting when they ask if it is anyone's first time and take things from there. There are many posters here available to support you as well, you are welcome to PM me. Only other piece of advice right now is to get a book; if you don't get one at your first meeting I am happy to mail you one.
Edit: that guy above me knows what he is talking about!
Edit: that guy above me knows what he is talking about!
I haven't had a drink in almost a year, and I can unequivocally tell you this:
Literally everything in my life has improved. It is amazing what can happen in your life when you get out of the fog.
One quote earlier in the thread (I think Jim said it) really stuck with me, "Give up everything to keep one thing, or give up one thing to keep everything."
I have no idea if I plan on never drinking again, initially I chose to stop just to feel better and be healthier. Every time I think about it though, I ask myself, "Why? What is the point? All it is doing is taking you away from your goals."
Best of luck! You can do it.
Literally everything in my life has improved. It is amazing what can happen in your life when you get out of the fog.
One quote earlier in the thread (I think Jim said it) really stuck with me, "Give up everything to keep one thing, or give up one thing to keep everything."
I have no idea if I plan on never drinking again, initially I chose to stop just to feel better and be healthier. Every time I think about it though, I ask myself, "Why? What is the point? All it is doing is taking you away from your goals."
Best of luck! You can do it.
Thank y'all. I found a meeting I'm going to go to today at noon.
So pathetic. The day after the Super Bowl in 2016 I admitted to myself and my wife that I'm an alcoholic. I've tried to manage it myself ever since. I clearly cannot.
So pathetic. The day after the Super Bowl in 2016 I admitted to myself and my wife that I'm an alcoholic. I've tried to manage it myself ever since. I clearly cannot.
There is nothing pathetic about what you've said or are going through. I think it takes a great deal of courage to admit you've got a problem and continue fighting the good fight. I don't know you, but I'm proud of you!
Day 70 here. I've had my struggles with alcohol in the past and did a lot of work to get to the root cause of my drinking/coping, quit drinking for awhile, then re-introduced alcohol to my life in, what I thought was, a responsible manner. What started as a "clean" start to 2023 has transformed in to the desire to never drink again. It's been said many times that sobriety gives you all the things alcohol promises and I'm finding exactly what I want and need out of sobriety. I can't say what the future really holds, but I know I won't drink today!
Day 70 here. I've had my struggles with alcohol in the past and did a lot of work to get to the root cause of my drinking/coping, quit drinking for awhile, then re-introduced alcohol to my life in, what I thought was, a responsible manner. What started as a "clean" start to 2023 has transformed in to the desire to never drink again. It's been said many times that sobriety gives you all the things alcohol promises and I'm finding exactly what I want and need out of sobriety. I can't say what the future really holds, but I know I won't drink today!
Zebras have stripes, leopards have spots, alcoholics
drink. It takes an Act of God to change any one of them. All the best as you start you journey on the Road of Happy Destiny. Please join your fellow Aggies in recovery Thursday and Sunday at 7. Scroll back a few posts for the link.
drink. It takes an Act of God to change any one of them. All the best as you start you journey on the Road of Happy Destiny. Please join your fellow Aggies in recovery Thursday and Sunday at 7. Scroll back a few posts for the link.
The person that is not willing to fight and die, if need be, for his country has no right to life.
James Earl Rudder '32
January 31, 1945
James Earl Rudder '32
January 31, 1945
Thank you Jim. I'll look for the link. I remember seeing it. I followed this thread since day one often on. Sometimes I read it and get inspired. Sometimes I see it and I avoid it. I always had a feeling one day. I might be taking part. Just leaving my first meeting.
Someone gave me a book. Thank you, though!
Does anyone know if the zoom meetings are still on for Thursdays at 7pm? I will try to be in tonight if so
Yes, we're on this evening, definitely join if you are able to.
Sorry I wasn't there tonight. Too many family obligations.
The person that is not willing to fight and die, if need be, for his country has no right to life.
James Earl Rudder '32
January 31, 1945
James Earl Rudder '32
January 31, 1945
Congratulations P to the MO! It is truly a miracle.
Thank you!
90 days!
K Bo said:
90 days!
Way to go Kevin!!!
K Bo said:
90 days!
Congratulations. Last time was the last time and this time it's for sure.
The person that is not willing to fight and die, if need be, for his country has no right to life.
James Earl Rudder '32
January 31, 1945
James Earl Rudder '32
January 31, 1945
Just spent 8 days on a boat in the Maldives with a bunch of friends. This was probably the hardest stretch so far but it wasn't really too difficult to abstain. Clean blooded and clear-eyed sunrise yoga was perfect.
This is officially my longest sober stretch (that I can recall) since before I was 21. 101 days no alcohol and feeling amazing!
This is officially my longest sober stretch (that I can recall) since before I was 21. 101 days no alcohol and feeling amazing!
Started feeling bad in Dec and in Jan after drinking almost two bottles of red wine on Jan 15th just felt like I had been hit by a freight train the next day. Abdomen was swollen and had trouble breathing.
Week later went to ER complaining of chest pain where they did some scans, and said heart is fine and sent me home.
Saw PCP on Thursday and he got me into a gastroenterologist that afternoon. Did blood tests and liver is way out of whack. Had scheduled some follow ups for ultrasound but told me if I had fever to go to ER.
And Friday went into ER where they admitted me, diagnosed my with cirrhosis, and pulled a couple of liters of fluid off my abdomen.
Since that event, I have been in and out of hospitals for three months and almost didn't make it as my kidneys started to shutdown. By God's Grace, I'm still here but will need a liver transplant.
So, I have been sober since Jan 15th. Not sure why I didn't recognize any issues until things blue blew up but here we are.
Haven't had any desire to drink at all, but I need to work the program as a factor for transplant. I wouldn't be doing this just to stay on the list. Rather I feel this is something I must do for my soul.
I'm looking for a sponsor and meeting locations and in BCS. 56 yo if that matters.
Thanks!
Week later went to ER complaining of chest pain where they did some scans, and said heart is fine and sent me home.
Saw PCP on Thursday and he got me into a gastroenterologist that afternoon. Did blood tests and liver is way out of whack. Had scheduled some follow ups for ultrasound but told me if I had fever to go to ER.
And Friday went into ER where they admitted me, diagnosed my with cirrhosis, and pulled a couple of liters of fluid off my abdomen.
Since that event, I have been in and out of hospitals for three months and almost didn't make it as my kidneys started to shutdown. By God's Grace, I'm still here but will need a liver transplant.
So, I have been sober since Jan 15th. Not sure why I didn't recognize any issues until things blue blew up but here we are.
Haven't had any desire to drink at all, but I need to work the program as a factor for transplant. I wouldn't be doing this just to stay on the list. Rather I feel this is something I must do for my soul.
I'm looking for a sponsor and meeting locations and in BCS. 56 yo if that matters.
Thanks!
This link - http://bvig.org/meetings/ - has all of the meetings in the Brazos Valley and can be filtered by day etc. The Brazos Club has the most meetings and would be what I would suggest if my opinion were asked. I have only been to that club a handful of times, so my recommendation is based more on the consistent schedule they have and one not having to piece together meetings at different locations. Nothing wrong with the latter, it's just much easier to be consistent with the former.
As for the sponsor, don't worry about that at the moment. The saying goes "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear". Show up consistently to meetings, come early and stay late, and get to know people, and the sponsor situation will sort itself pretty quickly.
If you are compelled to have a sponsor as a stipulation of the transplant, most meetings will ask for a show of hands as to who needs a sponsor and who is willing to sponsor. That is generally intended to align temporary sponsorship that may or may not lead to long term sponsorship. The best sponsorship generally occurs when there is a relationship - not friendship - and a mutual decision of both parties based on that relationship.
PM me or email me if you would like to talk more directly. I'm happy to help in any way I can. Email is pcmoore21 at yahoo dot com
As for the sponsor, don't worry about that at the moment. The saying goes "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear". Show up consistently to meetings, come early and stay late, and get to know people, and the sponsor situation will sort itself pretty quickly.
If you are compelled to have a sponsor as a stipulation of the transplant, most meetings will ask for a show of hands as to who needs a sponsor and who is willing to sponsor. That is generally intended to align temporary sponsorship that may or may not lead to long term sponsorship. The best sponsorship generally occurs when there is a relationship - not friendship - and a mutual decision of both parties based on that relationship.
PM me or email me if you would like to talk more directly. I'm happy to help in any way I can. Email is pcmoore21 at yahoo dot com
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