This was me writing under the influence.

He is now on the white Sox but used to be in the astros. I asked because when he was on the astros, he was pretty much a guaranteed out. Either would GIDP, ground out or K.

Trying to frame the awesomeness that is donkey.

~egon

The Porkchop Express said:

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WOW!
Crisis averted in our nation's capital moments ago.
Joey at the plate with a runner on first and one out. Runner steals second and goes to third on an error and suddenly he is in SCORING POSITION for a potential SACRIFICE FLY.
Donkey refuses to swing at the next pitch and draws a walk.

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This is just one more proof of the giant conspiracy, originating with Rob Manfred and involving the pitchers, the umpires, Donkey's jealous teammates, John Sterling, and the ballpark worker's culinary union, to deprive Donkey of his rightful strikeouts!!!

EVERYONE knows that Donkey made a vow of omerta to never again hit a sacrifice fly after the tragic events of 2022, involving a drop of blood from a fingerstick, an icon of the Virgin Mary, and a Sicilian guy named Donnie Stacks.

In any sac fly situation, Donkey is honor bound to stand patiently while the pitcher lollipops three strikes down the middle of the plate. And what? What do we find for the second time this year??? The umpire calls a walk?

This is a conspiracy. That's what this is! One big, damn, conspiracy!

And everyone's in on it! Including them!!!

The real eclipse happened in San Francisco yesterday when King Donkey had his first triefcta of the year, going 1 for 5 with a run scored and 3 strikeouts! He is up to 14 for the year and tied for 15th in the majors right now.

He is off to the kind of start we all dream about Hitting .182, 5 of his 6 hits are for extra bases, 3 RBI on 2 HR and 14 strikeouts in 33 at bats - a .424 whiff rate.

Donkey is hitting third tonight against a lefty starter. He's so essential to the team that they aren't platooning him.

YokelRidesAgain said:

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Donkey is hitting third tonight against a lefty starter. He's so essential to the team that they aren't platooning him.

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An early whiff swinging!

The Porkchop Express said:

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YokelRidesAgain said:

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Donkey is hitting third tonight against a lefty starter. He's so essential to the team that they aren't platooning him.

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An early whiff swinging!

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With that K, Donkey moves past Bobby Bonilla for sole possession of #216 on the all time list. He is now one back of Elvis Andrus.

I hope Donkey can stay dialed in without playing the field tonight. Something called Joey Meneses is usurping his spot at 1B and batting cleanup, which of course he is because he has an OPS of .532.

Managers, I swear. It's nice that MLB gives high paying jobs to the intellectually disabled, but sometimes I just get tired of it.

I typically hate the Dodgers, but Max Muncy and Teoscar Hernandez are really up to something here.

The Dodgers have played 14 games thanks to their early series with the Padres. Max Muncy has 23 strikeouts in those 14 games and is on pace for 266. Hernandez has 22 and is on pace for 255. The pair are in play right now vs. Minnesota.

For tonight's game, Joey Nemesis Erysipelas Meneses is right back where he belongs, on the pine, while King Donkey assumes his rightful places at first base, and cleanup.

Tonight the Donk faces another vile slurpeur d'poutine, from Toronto, CA by way of Houston, TX, Jordan Hicks.

Thanks to Joey's leadership, the Gnats are already a solid third in the NL East and can claim second tonight with a victory!

YokelRidesAgain said:

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For tonight's game, Joey Nemesis Erysipelas Meneses is right back where he belongs, on the pine, while King Donkey assumes his rightful places at first base, and cleanup.

Tonight the Donk faces another vile slurpeur d'poutine, from Toronto, CA by way of Houston, TX, Jordan Hicks.

Thanks to Joey's leadership, the Gnats are already a solid third in the NL East and can claim second tonight with a victory!

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This is a hiccup El Donkey did not need. We've dealt with cheese eating surrender monkey competition, but we've literally got the plot of the Mummy as this Menes guy is apparently some sort of 5000 year old pharaoh. Gallo has dealt with Rockhead, Julien, but a 5000 year old pharaoh with elite baserunning and an army of small clay servants that do chores for him in the afterlife? Tough road a hoe

The Gnats lost today, despite Joey personally carrying the team to its lone run with a Donkey Dong, while his teammates sat on the pine watching the grass grow.

Not withstanding his disappointing pop-up in the 7th, Donkey otherwise upheld the honor of the Bowel Three True Outcome Movement, with a homer, a walk, and a game ending K swinging!!!

He ties looser moran Elvis Andrus on the all-time list, and will pass the, uh, "King", as soon as he is allowed to bat again!!!

I didn't really read this post, because it had a whole bunch of words and Donkey don't play reading!!

I liked the part about Hor-Aha!, though, because it reminds me of one of the Donk's theme songs!

Pitches of spin fall down, and I will swing

Unh-uh!!! Any pitch -swinging at it!, ah-ah!
I can whiff, swinging at it, whoa-huh!
I can miss, never doubt it, oh-oh!
It's a K, that's about it, uh-uh!

K, whiff, swing miss, uh-huh!

-Better Than Ezra, probably

when I see OOTP I think Order of the Phoenix

Amazing things are happening. The Donk has kicked his rear into high gear after my signing of Christian Walker to platoon against LHP.

At the ripe age of 32, our leading man has been hitting the polymetrics and shaved a few tenths of a second off of his 40 yard dash. He has also improved his gap power, which I think has something to do with how hard he hits the air around the ball.

When asked about why he was focusing so hard on Speed, Gallo answered cryptically "I know it's around the house somewhere, the late fees have to be crippling, I don't know why they didn't put Keanu in the sequel, he's the Joey Gallo of acting"

Joey G in the 3 hole tonight. Getting his first look at the Sacramento A's tonight.

I assume someone on this thread will know what happened

Ejection

Nationals first baseman Joey Gallo ejected by HP umpire John Libka.

Mathguy64 said:

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Ag Since 83 said:

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I assume someone on this thread will know what happened

Ejection

Nationals first baseman Joey Gallo ejected by HP umpire John Libka.

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He was arguing balls.

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Ejected…

El Gallino finding new ways to wow us One True Outcome. That's Ninja-level stuff here, baseball fans.

This is our new North Star. The Top 24 active strikeout artists in the majors according to BR.com. That's Joey's handsome face gazing confidently at you from the #16 spot. Every time he moves up a rung on the ladder, this board parties like it's 1993 (the year our Lord & Donkey was born).
He's now 23 behind Jose Abreu, who is persona non grata in Houston (along with half the lineups and 2/3rds of the pitching staff right now)

Well, I was on a plane so I didn't catch last night's game, but I think Donkey was probably mad about going to a full count. He likes his ABs to end in 4 pitches or less.

Despite last night's setback, El Burro Grande now leads the Gnats in all three true outcomes.

He stored some OPS away and knew he could cut loose and still make the starting lineup