1yr of Kyle Tucker= 89% of Miami Marlins' 2025 payroll

— Nick Pollack (@PitcherList) January 16, 2026

My gracious - this is getting out of control. MLB has been spiraling the wrong way for a while and there's no getting out of this.

Are they planning on spending even more money for an outfielder that can hit in the playoffs to sub in for him in September?

This is the dumbest thing I have ever seen in mlb

Iambob said:

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Someone explain how the doddgers can sign all these guys even with deferred money and not have to pay a huge tax? Or they just don't care?

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Dodgers paid 165 million in luxury tax last year, triple the second highest tax bill

165 in TAX is more than the entire salaries of 12 teams in 2025

I remember when Ryne Sandberg getting $7 million a year was so shocking it made the cover of SI.

$60MM a year. For tucker.

The market has officially gone tits up.

Mathguy64 said:

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$60MM a year. For tucker.

The market has officially gone tits up.

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Tucker had to make sure he was paid more a year than Sophie Rain

This **** has to stop, right?

After 2026 this will surely be negotiated away?

Dodgers signing everyone in the FA market and not giving a single **** has to stop

AggiEE said:

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This **** has to stop, right?

After 2026 this will surely be negotiated away?

Dodgers signing everyone in the FA market and not giving a single **** has to stop

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How do you stop it now? No way the players are going to renegotiate their contracts.

You know Scott Boras is steaming mad that he can't get any deals that big this year

I hate the idea of a work stoppage in 2027.

But I'm ready for the system to burn down. It's broken beyond repair

Even Turturro is mad.

KYLE TUCKER TO THE FUCKING DODGERS WHAT THE FUCK pic.twitter.com/crKes96C00

— Big Nick Turturro (@NickTurturro1) January 16, 2026

For the next 4 years Kyle Tucker will make $172,000 a day, regardless of what he's doing

Kyle Tucker, what an unlikeable guy

Dodgers Strike Again, Sign Jesus Christ to $11 Quadrillion Deal

Los Angeles (AP) The Los Angeles Dodgers continued their campaign to corner the talent market on Thursday, signing multi-talented veteran Jesus Christ to an open-ended deal worth a reported $11 quadrillion, with 100% of the money being deferred to a later date.

Christ, who smited 739 home runs last year in the Baseball Heaven league, was honest because he has to be in announcing why he signed the deal during his introductory press conference in LA Thursday evening.
"They sent the offer over, and my first thought was, 'Jesus Christ, that's a lot money,'" the Fountain of Living Waters said, modeling his new jersey number 888 to a gaggle of genuflecting LA media types. "Then I really thought about it, and I realized it was just honest self talk. Because I am Jesus Christ, and that is a lot of money."

Despite the coup by LA, there are immediate concerns that the Dodgers must address between now and Opening Day.

First, is the age factor for the Son of God, who recently turned 2,025. The intuitive Jesus addressed the issue head on when queried by the media.
"Look, do I have the same first-to-third speed that I did when we knocked Constantinople out of the playoffs in 1204? Obviously not, but I'd like to think I've become a smarter, more experienced guy over the last millennium."

Second is figuring out where the King of Kings will play and where he fits into the Dodgers' rotation if they choose to use him as a pitcher. Again, the Lamb of God said all the right things when pressed to make a statement about where he envisioned himself on the field and in the batting order.
"Look, I'm the alpha and omega and the way and the light and all that good stuff. If I wanted to, I could tell you who wins the next 40,000 World Series," Christ said. "But Dave Roberts is the manager and I'm going to listen to him and respect his opinions. I mean, Biblically speaking, he's going straight to Hell when he dies for any number of vague definitions of sin in the Old Testament, but he's the one who fills out the lineup card, so I'm just going to contribute anyway I can, day in and day out."

Reached for comment through his agent, the Dodgers' previous salary king, Shohei Ohtani, had little to say about the Second Coming of Christ to Major League Baseball.

"I like baseball to play game well with friends," Ohtani said through a translator.
When he believed the call had disconnected, he told the translator, "Do you think laying 6 to 1 odds on Patriots and Rams to both cover this weekend is a good parlay? I'm thinking about putting $383 million on it."

The final details of Christ's contract are still being ironed out, including the eventual payout schedule. According to the legalese, the Dodgers owe Christ no money until a random future date simply referred to as "Judgment Day" in the 314-page contract.
"Don't worry too much about when it is," Christ told reporters with a broad smile on his face. "When that day comes, my contract will be the least of Los Angeles's problems."

AggiEE said:

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This **** has to stop, right?

After 2026 this will surely be negotiated away?

Dodgers signing everyone in the FA market and not giving a single **** has to stop

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Get ready for Pena to be playing for them in 2028 unless we are smart enough to trade him before that. He won't extend with us as long as Boras is his agent.

someone gave Tucker $60 MM per year?

oh, that someone

beyond nuts

I don't blame Tucker for getting his cash. Good for him. I'm not going to be mad at a player going to get paid.

That said, the Dodgers with their revenue stream and unlimited cash, are bad for baseball. At least 15 teams effectively are eliminated before the first pitch in Spring Training. This isn't about other teams not spending. This is about one team spending exponentially more than the others simply because it has deep pockets and it can. Dodgers payroll next year will be about half a billion dollars. The second closest team would be about $200 million less than that.

I mean, why even play the season? Hope can't spring eternal when hope for many of the teams and fans has been taken out of the equation.

Think that about does it for me. I checked out of baseball for a while a few years ago and have been really enjoying it since coming back… but this is beyond ridiculous.

First college football and now MLB. Great times we're living in

And I thought $30M per year was too much for Tucker.

EastCoastAgNc said:

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Net present value of Tucker’s deal will be $57M per season, beating Juan Soto’s previous record by more than $6M, sources tell The Athletic. Deferrals total $30M - $10M in each of last three seasons. First with deferred amount: @JonHeyman

— Ken Rosenthal (@Ken_Rosenthal) January 16, 2026

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And who exactly were they competing against? Because this is so much more than what was reported from the Mets, that it's insane.

I hate the idea but damn it may be time to rewrite the system with a hard salary cap

Fans are going to lose interest quickly.

I know I am.