Entertainment
Sponsored by

your spouse's "less preferred" one-liners that you use weekly

14,437 Views | 163 Replies | Last: 4 yr ago by Decay
Southlake
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
6:54p, 2/3/22
AG
When I come back from using the bathroom I say in an exasperated voice, "I think I just lost 5 pounds"

She used to laugh and roll her eyes. Now she barely interceptivly shakes her head.

But, I won't quit. It's not in my DNA.
Reply Quote
1
Flatlander
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
8:37p, 2/3/22
The song "Business Time' by Flight of the Conchords has some good, quotable lines in it. If you are not familiar with it, you should definitely check it out.

Reply Quote
3
Houston Lee
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
8:41p, 2/3/22
AG
"Honey, I'm tired of getting laid"
Reply Quote
Sea Speed
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Proposition Joe • 8:51p, 2/3/22
AG
Proposition Joe said:
bluefire579 said:
ABattJudd said:
"To be faaaaaiiiiiiirrrr"

My wife hates Letterkenny
That's rough. My wife always harmonizes it with me.

For the OP, my wife would get annoyed because every time she'd say the word scrunchie, I'd say the line from Futurama, "A year later, I got beat up at a Neil Diamond concert by a guy named Scrunchie." But I think it grew on her because I finally got her to watch the episode and she laughed her ass off when the line came up.

My Futurama quotes are lost on most, including the SO.

Anytime the word windmill comes up in any conversation, anywhere, I immediately yell "WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY".

And when I do something wrong, I quote Hedonism Bot "I apologize for nothing!"


I can hear hedonism bot saying it in my head immediately upon reading that.
Reply Quote
1
investorAg83
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to BenFiasco14 • 8:53p, 2/3/22
AG
BenFiasco14 said:
My girlfriend hates Seinfeld and Curb so there are countless examples. Recent ones in use:

"We are LIVING, in a SOCIETY!"

"Pretttyyyy… preeetty good"


Pretty, pretty good is definitely one in my house. Wife hates those shows too and now she quotes the 'pretty, pretty good' without knowing what it's from.
Reply Quote
5
Teacher_Ag
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to investorAg83 • 8:58p, 2/3/22
AG
I bought my wife a pretttttyy Preeeettty good t-shirt with LD's face on it
Reply Quote
2
Teacher_Ag
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:00p, 2/3/22
AG
I just thought of another one my wife is tired of.

That moment in Hot Rod when the little sister asks if they want koolaid and Danny McBride yells "DONT ASK JUST BRING IT."

Yeah, every time she asks if I want or would like something.
Reply Quote
2
Stupid Sexy Flanders
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:03p, 2/3/22
Anytime I wear anything blue

Reply Quote
16
UnderoosAg
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to BaileyAg • 10:10p, 2/3/22
AG
BaileyAg said:
I quote The Color Purple more than any sane person should


YOU TOLD HARPO TO BEAT ME!!!

Not so much a movie line, but anytime I fix anything computer or electrical related I yell F YOU SKYNET!!!
http://i.imgur.com/H6jmyPq.png
Reply Quote
SpreadsheetAg
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
10:14p, 2/3/22
AG


She really hates when I do my Tuan Tuan impression:
Reply Quote
1
EastSideAg2002
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
11:34p, 2/3/22
Maybe not weekly, but often enough.
Most of these get eyerolls or a "you're a dork" comment from the wife.











Reply Quote
6
FredMc92
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Flatlander • 12:00a, 2/4/22
Flatlander said:
The song "Business Time' by Flight of the Conchords has some good, quotable lines in it. If you are not familiar with it, you should definitely check it out.

2 minutes in heaven is better than 1 minute in heaven? Or Business Hours are over, baby?
Reply Quote
Sapper Redux
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
12:20a, 2/4/22
Way too many Simpsons and Futurama references. Any time we park in a garage, "Now remember, we're in the Itchy lot." Whenever I pull out $20, "Aww, $20? I wanted a peanut." If someone asks me how my kids are doing, "Numerous and belligerent."
Reply Quote
5
Head Ninja In Charge
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
12:38a, 2/4/22
AG
"Cabs are here!" (Pauly D voice)

- Anytime the Uber arrives
Reply Quote
6
Big Al 1992
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
1:01a, 2/4/22
AG
Anytime the girls in my house say something/anything they get the Jurassic Park "Clever girl…"
Reply Quote
11
heddleston
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
5:30a, 2/4/22
AG
I quote Kung Pow far more than is healthy for an adult:








those are just the ones i could find .gifs of.
Reply Quote
1
G Martin 87
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
5:40a, 2/4/22
AG
We quote some pretty obscure stuff, mostly from MST3K episodes.

"Well, I am pretty hot."

"I could watch this scene play out forever."

(Whistles) "Here, movie!"

I think the one that irritates Mrs. G Martin is the classic quote from The IT Crowd anytime she has a problem with any computing device. I'll invariably deadpan "Have you tried turning it off and on again?"


Reply Quote
6
2 edits
Funky Winkerbean
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
6:30a, 2/4/22
AG
"He put the old Pizza-in-a-cup guy out of business "

"Let's go get Nathan Jr"

"You kiddin me, we've got us a family here"

Reply Quote
1
rebag00
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:19a, 2/4/22
AG
I used to quote a little too much of GySgt. Hartman from Full Metal Jacket. Then I met a little boy named Lawrence. I try to stay away from those quotes now, but I hear them in my head sometimes.
Reply Quote
1
PDEMDHC
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:31a, 2/4/22
AG
I have a pretty obscure one from the Addams Family which she now uses after constant eye rolling.

When someone makes an announcement, I usually respond back with "go tell it on the mountain, he is your brother".

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/ff08605a-b3ce-4e39-9091-e091f32f7142
Reply Quote
One Eyed Reveille
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Funky Winkerbean • 9:34a, 2/4/22
AG
He hates those cans.
Reply Quote
9
Proposition Joe
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:41a, 2/4/22
I feel as time goes by the "Everything's Coming Up Milhouse" is appreciated by less and less people.
Reply Quote
8
deadhead aggie
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:43a, 2/4/22
AG
my wife's a teacher.......does alot of classroom projects at home.....many with scissors........and every time she hears this one..........



Reply Quote
3
Sapper Redux
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Big Al 1992 • 9:54a, 2/4/22
Big Al 1992 said:
Anytime the girls in my house say something/anything they get the Jurassic Park "Clever girl…"
"Hold on to your butts"

and, of course, "Life...uh... finds a way."
Reply Quote
6
Quad Dog
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
10:00a, 2/4/22
AG
Almost everyone in my house knows not to use the word surely when talking to me.
But I still get to say some version of "It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now." When people say "What is it?"
Reply Quote
8
c-jags
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
10:12a, 2/4/22
That's what she said
There are dozens of us!
Always money in the banana stand
I love lamp
I'm a peacock. You gotta let me fly.
When the F did we get ice cream?(anytime I see ice cream in the freezer)



Anytime she gets a can out I knock it over and say "he hates these cans. Stay away from these cans.!" And run away.

All guaranteed to irritate her.
Reply Quote
6
Funky Winkerbean
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to One Eyed Reveille • 10:14a, 2/4/22
AG
Arrakis ecologist said:
He hates those cans.
Got a voucher!
Reply Quote
1
Flatlander
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to FredMc92 • 12:45p, 2/4/22
FredMc92 said:
Flatlander said:
The song "Business Time' by Flight of the Conchords has some good, quotable lines in it. If you are not familiar with it, you should definitely check it out.

2 minutes in heaven is better than 1 minute in heaven? Or Business Hours are over, baby?
"I'm so intense!"
"Ah yeah, that's it."
"Well, I'm not surprised."


Reply Quote
1
jah003
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
1:01p, 2/4/22
S
Anytime I fix anything… could just be putting batteries in something.

"Fixed the newel post!"

I'm convinced my wife just doesn't even hear it anymore I say it so much.
Reply Quote
5
Stupid Sexy Flanders
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to jah003 • 1:21p, 2/4/22
jah003 said:
Anytime I fix anything… could just be putting batteries in something.

"Fixed the newel post!"

I'm convinced my wife just doesn't even hear it anymore I say it so much.


I do the same but from Saving Silverman, "yep it's the lug nut. Fixed it"

Reply Quote
6
EastSideAg2002
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Funky Winkerbean • 3:02p, 2/4/22
Funky Winkerbean said:
Arrakis ecologist said:
He hates those cans.
Got a voucher!
Anytime anyone says Thermos, I sing the song in my head.
Reply Quote
1
aTm2004
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
3:03p, 2/4/22
AG
"Hey, out of all of the other guys out there, you chose me."
Reply Quote
Iowaggie
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
3:18p, 2/4/22
AG
On anything requiring two or more people to move something:



Just in general:




Far too often doing a home repair:

or
Reply Quote
8
Bruce Almighty
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
3:45p, 2/4/22
AG
Whenever I have to repeat something to one of my kids for the third time, I go all Chris Tucker in Rush Hour. "Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth."
Reply Quote
10
malenurse
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Sapper Redux • 3:54p, 2/4/22
AG
Sapper Redux said:
Big Al 1992 said:
Anytime the girls in my house say something/anything they get the Jurassic Park "Clever girl…"
"Hold on to your butts"

and, of course, "Life...uh... finds a way."
There is not one single car trip where "Hold on to your butts" is not uttered at least once.
Reply Quote
9
 
×
subscribe Verify your student status
See Subscription Benefits
Trial only available to users who have never subscribed or participated in a previous trial.