Legal Custodian said:

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Anytime someone mentions the omicron strand, I want to respond with this:

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Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the others?"

Legal Custodian said:

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Anytime someone mentions the omicron strand, I want to respond with this:

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I think "women are from omicron persei 8, men are from omicron persei 9"

I have no idea where it's from, but whenever she says "Long story short..." I say "Well, it's too late for that".

Racer X said:

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I have no idea where it's from, but whenever she says "Long story short..." I say "Well, it's too late for that".

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That one is from Clue the Movie.

It's tattooed on my consciousness and one of my go to's as well

"I got the cruise set on 35!"

Said that for years every time we took a car trip more than 10 miles from the house. Only when scrolling through the channels one lazy Sunday did my wife see that quote from Revenge of the Nerds. She laughed way more than I expected.

Some Junkie Cosmonaut said:

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"That's it, go comatose for me baby!"

Anything for Salinas!

When she ask me to do anything I say "I already promised other people I would (do the opposite), and I gave my word so....'

heddleston said:

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I quote Kung Pow far more than is healthy for an adult:








those are just the ones i could find .gifs of.

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When that movie came out we used to say "Weeooo-wee" randomly in meetings with our manager and she looked at us like we were insane.

Every time the dog coughs or yaks

"Its ok, he's just hacking up a bone. Must have been noising through the trash. He got it up."

I get an eye roll or worse

Oh I 'memba.

This thread is amazing. I'm having trouble coming up with lines that I constantly use that my wife rolls her eyes at or ignores, but I know there are several. There are also several others that I've used so much that she has joined in with me now. Most of mine come from Seinfeld, the Office, and Brian Regan but there are probably 100s that come up, from all sorts of sources, many already covered in this thread. But I'm going to make a point to use some of the ones from this thread. Gotta keep things fresh in a marriage!

wrong thread, sorry

You sure you're in the right thread?

Sorry again

Buzzy said:

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You sure you're in the right thread?

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NOPE!!!!

Sapper Redux said:

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Rex Racer said:

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I tend to speak in an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice things like, "Affirmative" or "I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions. And I want to have them answered immediately."

And lots of Seinfeld quotes, as well.

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It's probably a good thing I'm not a pathologist. I'd be fired for yelling out, "It's not a tumahhh!" every 5 minutes.

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I do that one, too!

Sometimes when I try to make sexy eyes at the wife, I'll say "here comes the smolder" from Tangled.

It always ends up looking more like this:

c-jags said:

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That's what she said
There are dozens of us!
Always money in the banana stand
I love lamp
I'm a peacock. You gotta let me fly.
When the F did we get ice cream?(anytime I see ice cream in the freezer)



Anytime she gets a can out I knock it over and say "he hates these cans. Stay away from these cans.!" And run away.

All guaranteed to irritate her.

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Our code work for when one of us is stressed is Banana Stand... because we both know we can find help (money) in it.

gigemJTH12 said:

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this is a weird one but Uncle Jesse on Full House used to say this "heh" thing.

"I'm trying to cook over here, heh?"

anyways. I am terrible at impersonating it but I do it all the time anyways. my wife HATES it. I always say it and she reacts every single time.

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I have something similar, but it's not from TV. It's from my Dad. I remember one time I was trying to help him with something (as a kid, I was always trying to help, but would often hinder). And my Dad said, "Here!", but kind of with a grunt. I told her that story and now I do it to her sometimes to pick at her, and she invariably comes after me.

Josepi said:

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"If this turkey tastes half as good as it looks, we're all in for a real treat!

I say it at least once or twice a week as we sit down for dinner. It used to get some good laughs from everyone. Now it just gets groans and eye rolls. I'll never quit though.

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Same movie - I'll bust out the "is there anything else I can do for you Uncle Lewis?" every once in a while.

Ervin Burrell said:

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Josepi said:

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"If this turkey tastes half as good as it looks, we're all in for a real treat!

I say it at least once or twice a week as we sit down for dinner. It used to get some good laughs from everyone. Now it just gets groans and eye rolls. I'll never quit though.

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Same movie - I'll bust out the "is there anything else I can do for you Uncle Lewis?" every once in a while.

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anyone in our family, pointing to lips when something is misunderstood

THE BLESSING

"Good enough for the girls I go out with..." - funny, both the ex-wife and the current wife hate that one.

"No thanks, don't want you f***** up my life, too." - Office Space

"I'm worried about the beer supply. After this case, and the next case, there's only one case left!" - Simpsons

"You better KNOT mention that again" - Adam Sandler from "Hey Goat"

"This wine has nice legs."

"I'm glad you got gouda. Gouda is betta'."